| Home | Community | Message Board |
|
You are not signed in. Sign In New Account | Forum Index Search Posts Trusted Vendors Highlights Galleries FAQ User List Chat Store Random Growery » |

This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.
|
| |||||||
|
Psychonaut Storyteller Registered: 11/30/23 Posts: 30 Loc: Hyperspace Last seen: 1 month, 6 days |
| ||||||
|
I've transposed this report as best I can for Shroomery, but you can check out the full article on my blog here: https://heroicdosage.com/heroic
You can also listen to the trip report (narrated by yours truly) here: This first trip report is extremely long as I'm giving context/background on myself and why I'm doing this. Over the coming months and years, I’ll regularly (every 1-2 weeks) be ingesting a ‘heroic dose’ of psilocybin mushrooms in order to meet with and learn from the mushroom spirit, a very wise and mysterious entity. I’m doing this, not so much for the adventure, but because I believe the mushroom spirit has an incredible amount of knowledge and wisdom to share with humanity, and I think the world would benefit greatly by listening to what it has to say. If you're interested in following along with me on this journey, the best way to stay up to date is to subscribe to my newsletter at https://heroicdosage.com With all of that out of the way, let's get into it! Most people have a tendency to bore me. To me, there’s nothing more painful than having to engage in small talk, discuss politics, or gossip about such and such celebrity losing the plot… When speaking to someone new, I usually find myself desperately trying to learn something from them, or at least hear an interesting perspective. But admittedly, I’m usually very quickly disappointed and end up scheming about how to end the conversation or steer it towards something worthwhile. Because of this, I have a very small circle of friends and have become somewhat of a recluse, but that’s perfectly okay with me and I’m more than happy with things being this way. And so, with this in mind, as you can imagine, making a new friend is a pretty big deal for me and well… I recently made a new friend! And I want to introduce you to them… This new friend of mine is drop dead gorgeous. Not only does she have striking physical beauty, but a heart of pure gold. She’s strong and capable, and I can tell she genuinely seems to care about those she comes in contact with. She’s loyal and principled, super intelligent, and has a captivating vibrance about her, an energy that is simply magnetic. She’s astoundingly interesting and dangerously witty too: clever, and cheeky. Every time I hang out with her, I find myself not only learning about incredible things, but also becoming a better man in the process. So, I’ve decided to spend some more time with this new friend of mine, and we’ve been making some pretty big plans together. And I want to invite you to join me, along with my new friend, on the adventure of a lifetime. That’s what this article is, an invitation, from me to you, to come with us on one truly epic adventure. It’s going to be a long journey, at least a year in length, and there’s going to be many ups and downs along the way, but if you’re anything like me and are a fan of learning, personal development, and wish to really understand the world we live in, you’ll want to pack your bags and come along for the ride. Before we set off, I want you to understand why I’m embarking on this seemingly ridiculous challenge… Along with finding most people boring, I find most things boring too. I don’t really like the beach. I don’t like the zoo. I don’t like swimming. I don’t like children. I don’t like carnivals. I can’t stand action movies. I don’t find the sitcom Friends funny. I certainly won’t jump out of a perfectly good aeroplane, and I have absolutely no interest in traveling the world. I know what you’re thinking, I must be a lot of fun at parties… But for as long as I can remember, I’ve really only been interested in ideas, in learning, philosophy, metaphysics, and more recently the game of business. I like unusual or peculiar things. I like things with an element of mystery to them. I like misfits and things that stand out like a sore thumb. I like things that challenge the status quo. I like hidden things and well-kept secrets. I like plotting, scheming, and strategizing. I like the Oxford comma. I like highly efficient and well designed systems. I like watching movies that make me feel alive. I like fighting back the tears when the dog dies. I’ve also always loved the idea of being an explorer, which is ironic because I’m easily the least outdoorsy person I know. But adventure is something I can’t live without. The white picket fence, nuclear family type of lifestyle seems so unappealing to me, just thinking about it almost gives me shivers down my spine… Instead, living a bold life full of unplanned adventures, epic triumphs, failures just as magnificent, and stories so crazy they don’t sound real is much more my pace. Unfortunately, I was born at least a few hundred years too late to explore the world, and recent events have convinced me that perhaps I’m still some years too early to explore the great depths of the world’s oceans… But there is still one relatively unmapped place that I’ve decided to dedicate myself to exploring. And that place is what I’ll refer to as the psychedelic dimension, a deeply altered state of consciousness accessible to all, but visited by few. I might also refer to it as a hyperspace or the transdimensional realm. These are all words I’ll be using to describe my destination, which is a place void of three-dimensionality, a place in which time ceases to exist, and a place where possibilities are quite literally limitless. This is also an inhabited space, which I believe is the key detail that makes it worth exploring. My goal essentially is to traverse, map, and document not only the phenomenology of this foreign realm, but also to “bring back” artifacts to share with you all. I’m not exactly sure what these artifacts will look like, but I suspect they’ll come in the form of lessons and ideas and hopefully, if we’re lucky enough, a deeper understanding of the nature of reality. Over the next year, I’ll be visiting this dimension extremely frequently and then writing about everything I learn in my email newsletter at HeroicDosage.com. I’ll also be sharing many of these learnings on my YouTube channel. But as I mentioned earlier, this article is an open invitation for you to come with, and vicariously explore the depths of the psychedelic experience. The goal isn’t so much to entertain you, but rather for you to learn and develop as a human being alongside me under the expert tuition of my new friend, the mushroom spirit. The remainder of this article discusses the first of my many fully documented journeys into the psychedelic dimension… But this article is special, because it also describes in great detail exactly what it’s like to befriend a transdimensional being… My mindset going into this thing was honestly pretty solid, but considering I was about to throw away a successful marketing business to embark on what could crudely be described as a years-long drug binge, naturally I had a few lingering doubts. Putting that aside, I was otherwise in a fantastic place in life: plenty of money in the bank, perfect bill of health, in the best shape of my life, relationships going extremely well, and I felt overall incredibly satisfied with how I was doing in life. And honestly, even today I feel immensely grateful to be able to write that sentence. To be able to say in complete earnestness that I’m doing really, genuinely well across the board… I think that’s honestly something to be pretty proud of. So anyways, that was the set… As for the setting, I was doing this trip at home in my apartment alone, which I’m convinced is the ideal way to get the most out of a profound experience like this. I would be ‘going it alone’ as McKenna would say. At exactly 1pm, I ate the 5 dried grams of psilocybe cubensis and washed it down with some water. The strain of cubensis was Avery’s Albino, for anyone that cares. I followed that up with a few rounds of box breathing and finally said a little ‘prayer’ of sorts, something along the lines of: I’m so very excited to welcome you into my body, I can’t wait to learn from you, you have my full attention, my mind and heart are open, let’s go to work! Something like that. Now before we get into the nuts and bolts of exactly what happened next, now seems like a pretty good time to briefly address the concept of ‘setting an intention’ before the trip. The common wisdom is that, prior to a large trip like this, one should set an intention, which means to go into the experience with some sort of an agenda, something you’re looking to achieve or get out of it. While I don’t think this is by any means bad advice, I don’t think it’s always necessary or helpful. The reason is because regardless of what I intend to accomplish from the trip, at the end of the day, the mushroom is running the show and seems to already know exactly what my problems are and what I’m looking to resolve, without me really having to articulate it at all. More importantly, the mushroom will often reveal to me what I call an ‘unknown unknown’, which is an element of my life I wasn’t even aware of as being problematic. It’ll then often force you me work through this more pressing issue that I just became aware of, instead of the one I had brought to the table earlier. And so, if you set the intention of addressing x, but the mushroom sets the agenda of fixing y instead, this may cause some unwanted friction and you might end up getting a yuckier overall trip than if you’d come into it with no gameplan at all. So instead of setting intentions, my personal approach is usually to just enter the trip with no agenda whatsoever, completely open minded, and not try to steer the ship in any particular direction. I simply allow the mushroom to take me wherever it wants to. Having said all that, in the future I do plan to experiment more with setting intentions and taking a bit more of an active role in the meetings proceedings. Part of the reason for this is to make things more interactive for those of you sweating me this journey. I want to be able to ask the mushroom questions on your behalf, so we can all grow and learn together. Anyways, because this was my first ever heroic dose experience, my only real intention was simply to get one under my belt with no hiccups. I just didn’t want to have a bad trip… that’s it. But honestly, at the risk of sounding a little greedy, I would really have loved for the mushroom to reassure me that the idea of taking a heroic dose of mushrooms every week for a year wasn’t a completely terrible one. It turns out the mushroom did in fact have something pretty interesting to say about this, but we’ll get to that later on. Often you hear about the onset of a high dose mushroom trip as being particularly ferocious and intimidating, like a storm rolling in over the ocean. You’re usually sitting there, frantically trying to batten down the hatches watching this thing brewing up ahead. This come-up was absolutely nothing like that. This trip came on incredibly gently and was by far the most calming and reassuring come-up I’ve ever experienced on mushrooms. The initial visuals were NOT spiraling, fractal, geometric patterns, as one might expect, but rather a very subtle bevel-like effect noticeable on the furniture in my living room. Instead of traditional psychedelic visuals, it seemed to instead very pleasantly highlight certain elements of the ‘mood’ of the room, such as the lighting and decor. Everything looked relatively normal, aside from having that glassy/polished edge to it. It was a really pleasant opening scene, not at all what you would expect from a dose of this size. There’s nothing worse than starting out a mushroom trip with overwhelmingly intense visual distortions within the first 10 minutes, which is exactly what I was expecting. So I was incredibly grateful to be able to enjoy a really rather mild and tranquil come-up. The song ‘Come For You’ by Methame started playing over my Bluetooth speaker, which was my cue to begin dancing uncontrollably in my underwear. This was the definition of dancing like nobody’s watching. We’re talking violently fist pumping the air while screaming the words at the top of my lungs (silently of course, out of respect for the neighbors). Seriously, I’m almost positive I’d become an overnight TikTok sensation if I filmed this part… it was truly a sight to behold. I was dancing so hard that I barely noticed the intensity of the trip ramping up so much. I was in such a deep flow state, so entranced by the music, that I kind of said telepathically to the mushroom something along the lines of, “Hey, look mate, do you mind waiting just a few minutes longer? Ya boy’s got to keep dancing for just a little while more before we get down to business.” To which the mushroom responded with, “Haha, yeah that’s cool man, no dramas at all. I’ve got quite literally all the time in the world. You do you, boo.” …I mean it wasn’t that verbatim, but that was very much the gist of what was being expressed. And so I continued to dance until I had practically exhausted myself. Eventually I decided it was time to wind down the dancing, turn the music off, and get into bed. I call this part ‘going inside’, as all the magic really happens in your mind, when your eyes are closed. It was time to get properly acquainted with the mushroom spirit, who on this day would become one of my closest friends and allies on my journey of exploration into the psychedelic landscape. So I turned the music off, closed my eyes, and laid down on my bed, and before long was in the presence of the mushroom spirit, in all her glory. She presented herself to me as she typically does: a tentacled octopus-like being with an unquestionably feminine nature. Visually speaking, she’s also quite elusive and so I often find it pretty difficult to get a good look at her. But it’s very obvious when I’m in her presence, even though I’m almost never looking directly at her. She’s often very sarcastic and sassy and has a painfully dry sense of humor. She’s also very savvy and switched on, perspicacious as Andrew Tate would say. After all, she is a transdimensional being, if not some sort of a God. And although she presents herself outwardly as a… cephalopod, she somehow has this incredible physical beauty and is very attractive. And no, for the record, I don’t have some weird tentacle porn kink or something like that… I’m well aware that the mushroom spirit presents itself in many different ways to different people, but this is how she consistently shows up for me. On that note, I must say, the most incredible thing about the magic mushroom experience, and why in my opinion LSD really pales in comparison, is because the mushroom IS, very much, a living being. It has sentience. Whatever it is, you get the impression that you’re very much in the presence of another sentient being, an intelligence that has a personality attached to it. LSD, although it’s incredibly entertaining, feels very sterile and ‘in your own head’ and lacks this quality of being alive. It has a stark feeling of inanimacy whereas psilocybin is the complete opposite. But I digress, this is not meant to be a mushrooms vs. LSD exposé; I’ll save that for another article. One thing is for certain however, being in the presence of the mushroom spirit is absolutely awe inspiring and is something I’ll never, ever get bored of. What happened next is what I refer to as ‘the handshake’, which is the process of the mushroom spirit feeling out your brain, settling in, and making herself at home. Again, this process happens exactly the same way for me every single time, without fail, hence why I’ve given this stage of the experience a nickname. During the handshake, I could feel the mushroom scanning around in my brain, looking for the footholds it needed to climb deeper into my psyche. The mushroom began sinking her tendrils deeper and deeper into the recesses of my skull. I could literally feel the mushroom poking around in my head. It was very precise, just like a neurosurgeon expertly maneuvering their implements around their patient’s brain. I could feel it carefully twisting and turning dials, somewhat like a DJ behind the decks. What I believe the mushroom spirit is trying to do here is to essentially fuse with your brain, to create a synergism between itself and its host. Prior to and during the handshake period, the mushroom spirit is very much a completely separate entity to you. The physical sensation is very much that of a foreign parasite moving around in your skull. Now although that sounds admittedly mortifying on paper, it’s not really all that unpleasant at all. It’s kind of a nice sensation actually, like getting a scalp massage – except it’s happening on the inside of your skull, not the outside. While I was sitting there undergoing this open brain surgery of sorts, I was seeing a series of fairly typical psychedelic imagery now: geometric patterns, swirling fractal shapes, etc. I’d also occasionally see the tentacles of the mushroom spirit slowly flailing about. The visual scene was also spinning, or rather rotating on its axis, very slowly. In fact, visually speaking, this whole phase can be characterized by extremely slow movements. There was nothing zipping or darting around my field of vision, nothing flashing, and everything was kind of vague. The whole show at this point was honestly pretty dull. Actually, on this occasion, as I was allowing the mushroom to find its footing in my brain, I recall having a thought along the lines of, “boring… seen this all before, can we just skip ahead to the good part already?” Now obviously I would NEVER disrespect the mushroom by actually articulating this. I didn’t fully express this thought at all, if you know what I mean. It’s kind of like when you see an 11/10 walking down the road and think to yourself, “Jesus Christ, what I wouldn’t do to that.” You don’t actually say that out loud, you just keep the thought to yourself. That’s exactly what happened in this situation. The issue was, since the mushroom spirit was literally inside my brain, not to mention the fact that it might be a God of some sort, she essentially ‘overheard’ this thought cropping up. “Oh, I’m sorry!? Am I boring you!?” She said, in all her sarcastic beauty while pretending to be offended. I knew her well enough at this stage to know when she was joking. And I knew damn well that she knew I didn’t actually articulate that thought. We’ll often joke around like this, particularly during the handshake period, which is really our first opportunity for dialog with one another. Not before long, the intensity began ramping up: the visuals started to become much more intense and it was clear the mushroom was making progress in her surgical endeavors. At this point I felt the mushroom stumble upon the part of my brain responsible for all of the most powerful negative human emotions. We’re talking about heartbreak, betrayal, terror, grief, etc. I remember seeing its tentacles constrict around this area of my brain and I was worried she would dump a cocktail of terrifying feelings into my body. I communicated to the mushroom, “Umm, I’d really appreciate it if you… didn’t do that?” In a completely non-visual manner, she looked over at me and said hilariously, “Sorry… I dropped my scalpel.” She gave me a wink before proceeding with her work. Phew. I was very appreciative that we didn’t have to go down that path so early into the trip. But at the end of the day, I knew it really wasn’t up to me, and if she wanted to unleash pure hell on me, she could have at any moment, and I’d be forced to experience that. This is the risk you have to be willing to take when you start using dosages in excess of 2 grams. Having said that, I have the intuition that the mushroom spirit is unquestionably benevolent and seems to care deeply about your betterment as a human being and would never do something like that purely to fuck with you. I suspect the mushroom is perfectly capable and quite okay with unleashing all hell on us, but only if she thinks we’ll learn something from that experience. While she certainly is feisty, she is not sadistic. A little bit on edge, I thought about getting up to put some music back on to try and calm my nerves, but the mushroom reassured me that wasn’t necessary and that she’d take good care of me. “Jeez, calm down you little sook,” she said. After the handshake phase is over, it means we’ve achieved what I refer to as fusion: this is where the mushroom spirit has completed its procedure and has now fully integrated itself into your brain matter. The mushroom was no longer a separate, parasitic entity poking around in my head; it had seamlessly infused its consciousness with mine. I was now a half-human, half-mushroom hybrid organism. ![]() Half Psychedelic Mushroom, Half Human Hybrid The mushroom and I were now completely in sync. Remember in Avatar when the Na’vi people would fuse with the mountain banshees to become spiritually connected as one? ![]() Na'Vi Fusion Process Yeah it was EXACTLY like that. Or how about the Dragon Ball Z fusion process which is defined as, The process of merging two or more separate beings into one, combining their attributes, from strength and speed to reflexes, intelligence, and wisdom. When properly fused, the single being created has an astounding level of power, far beyond what either fusees would have had individually. This seems like a very fitting description. For me I know fusion has been achieved when the intensity of the trip calms down briefly and the visuals somewhat subside. At this point in the trip, fear started to melt away, my confidence multiplied, and for the first time since the mushroom spirit entered my brain, I began to feel like I was back in the driver’s seat, so to speak. I was in control again. I knew I still have to be completely willing to surrender at any moment, but there was no need to tiptoe around anymore. The likelihood of the trip turning south at this point was very low. Now, don’t get me wrong, you’re still completely the mushroom’s bitch, but you don’t feel quite as vulnerable as the guy who was sitting there receiving open brain surgery just a few moments ago. This is where the trip REALLY starts to begin. The handshake phase is more or less you and the mushroom exchanging pleasantries with one another, but it’s nothing more than foreplay to the fusion and post-fusion phases we’re about to get into. After I had fused with the mushroom, which probably happened 1-2 hours into the trip, I felt it was now time to open my eyes and get a bit of a change of scenery by moving from my bed to the bathroom. Right before the trip began, I had filled the bathtub with warm water and even put a bath bomb in there to make it feel more relaxing and smell nice. Ya boy was prepared for this shit! I turned the music back on and hopped in the bathtub. Getting into the warm water as a human-mushroom hybrid being was an absolutely incredible feeling, but I knew the real party had yet to begin. Up until this point, there hadn’t really been a ton of depth or substance to the trip. There hadn’t really been much in the way of learning or profound realizations about the nature of reality – it had more or less all been build up. Sure, a few cool ideas had come and gone, and there had been some interesting visuals, but we were yet to really scratch the surface. To the uninitiated, things would probably seem incredibly intense up until this point, but in reality, we hadn’t yet experienced anything truly remarkable or magical just yet. So as I was sitting there in the bathtub, I discovered that opening my jaw as wide as humanly possible was in fact one of the most pleasurable sensations imaginable. Something about the way the muscles in my face were contracting in this state made deep stretching feel almost orgasmic. A minute or so passed and it wasn’t just my jaw now either: my whole body felt absolutely incredible. I’m practically writhing around the bathtub, mouth wide open, and contorting my spine into some quite frankly extremely alarming positions. It looked EXACTLY like an exorcism. But there was no demon inside of me, just a benevolent mushroom spirit. And it felt so, so good! I was now contorting my spine, yawning deeply, which also felt amazing, hugging myself, and touching and massaging my face. My entire body felt like that semi-orgasm you get when yawning or sneezing. I also experienced my upper lip twitching furiously too, fluttering almost. That was definitely involuntary, and it felt like the mushroom was in complete control of all of the muscles below my nose and around my mouth. Before long, I was performing a full yoga routine in the bathtub, twisting around like an acrobat – I had no idea I had this much flexibility. At one point I managed to do a complete barrel roll… you know, like a crocodile doing a death roll. This is more impressive than you think, because I’m 6’5” and my bathtub is tiny! While all this was happening I started laughing uncontrollably, thinking about how absolutely ridiculous I’d look to anyone who had the utter misfortune of witnessing this. The absolute last thing in the world I would want is for someone to see me like that, which brings me to my next point… In many cases, I think having a trip sitter can do a lot more harm than good. I don’t care how familiar and comfortable you are with your sitter, there is no way I could have ‘expressed myself’ the way I was during this part of the trip knowing someone was looking at me. Anyone watching me in that bathtub would be so incredibly alarmed they’d be in their right mind to call an ambulance, or better yet, a priest. I’ll save the discussion around the efficacy of trip sitters for another article, but let me just say I was very glad I was alone. So as my body was engaged in this advanced bathtub yoga routine, mentally I was transported to a place I refer to as “the office”, which can accurately be described as a psychologist’s clinical office: a very private space furnished with two comfortable chairs facing one another… you get the picture. This is a room designed for two people to sit down and talk together: for the practitioner to gain an intimate understanding of their patient, and for that patient to learn how to deal with their issues. This is where I sat down, face to face with the mushroom spirit, who was now presenting as a shrink, shaman, life coach, mentor, trusted advisor, and psychotherapist all at the same time. Chapter XI: Class Is In Session This is the stage of the trip where me and the mushroom will do all of the deep, transformational work. This is where it’ll give me feedback on my life choices, my behavior, and give me sound advice on what I’m doing right and wrong in life. The office is where I get crystal clear corrective guidance on how to improve as a person and become a better man. It’s, by all accounts, a therapy session. The topics we discuss are typically to do with my relationships and how I’m treating others, as well as examining personal habits that might need adjusting. This part of the trip is about learning more so than it is healing, which we’ll get to later on. And for the record, I could just as easily describe the office as a library. It’s kind of both of these places and neither at the same time. Again, I wasn’t really ‘seeing’ this place visually, but more just receiving the ‘feeling’ of being in an office or a library. On this occasion, because I had earnestly gone and implemented the behavioral changes the mushroom spirit had prescribed to me in an earlier encounter, she was very impressed with me overall, and our therapy session wasn’t much more than a pat on the back with a, “good job, kid. You’re crushing it.” Now, this was really nice to hear, because in my previous mushroom trip, she had absolutely GRILLED me about how poorly I was treating certain people in my life and how I had a completely warped perspective of what truly mattered to me. She was genuinely quite upset with me, so I was quite pleased to see that I had successfully resolved that issue and was now back on track. And she was spot on, by the way. Since making the exact changes she recommended, I immediately felt as though I had leveled up as a human being. Just so we don’t get too far off track in this article, in an upcoming article, I’ll explain exactly why the mushroom was so furious with me during that previous session and I’ll also describe the absolutely masterful way in which she was able to show me exactly how to fix that part of my life. What happened next can only be described as quite a shocking revelation… While in the office, the mushroom revealed to me that in this realm, we have absolutely every imaginable tool at our disposal to heal any imaginable pathology, and that we also had access to all the information, knowledge, truth, understanding, and wisdom one could ever wish for. The mushroom said, “If you want to learn the complete and full truth, the meaning of life, we can get into it here. In this realm we can do anything you can possibly imagine.” Now, as a lifelong learner, and someone who’s always obsessed over the meaning of life, this was music to my ears. I was like a kid in a candy store, knowing that everything I’ve ever wanted, all the knowledge, insight, and wisdom I’ve always longed for was right here, completely unguarded, and accessible at any time via a handful of psychoactive mushrooms. The psychedelic realm reminds me somewhat of Narnia. Behind the wardrobe is an expansive, magical realm of mystery and wonder. Behind the mushroom also lies a realm of untold mystery and endless possibilities. Feeling quite relieved that the mushroom was satisfied I was on the right track in life, it also told me, “If you’re serious about embarking on this psychedelic journey, you and I are going to become intimately familiar with one another over the coming months.” The mushroom explained to me that combined, our powers could do a lot of good in the world. Now, I’m not a huge fan of marriage conceptually, but at that point in the trip, the mushroom and I genuinely discussed forming some sort of sacred communion with one another, a lifelong partnership in which we had vowed to support each other for eternity. At first it felt kind of like marriage, but ended up feeling much more like friendship. Oddly enough, despite the mushroom being a feminine being, I experienced intense feelings of brotherly love, along with appreciation, respect, and adoration. As the mushroom and I were professing our appreciation for one another, what happened next was something I’ll never forget. All of a sudden, the song “What’s The Difference” by Dr Dre (featuring Eminem and Xzibit) started playing from the Bluetooth speaker that was next to my bathtub… The following Eminem lyrics rang out… Stop the beat a minute, I got something to say… I don’t know if I ever told you this But I love you dog, I got your motherfuckin’ back, just know this shit. To which Dre responds, Slim, I don’t know if you noticed it, but I’ve had your back from day one, ni**a, let’s blow this bitch! And finally, Em says, I mean it, dog—you ever need somebody offed: “Whose throat is it?” I sat there in the bathtub with my jaw wide open, this time out of sheer astonishment. The mushroom was no longer communicating telepathically, but had broken the fourth wall, so to speak, and was quite literally speaking to me in the regular, three dimensional realm, through the lyrics of a gangster rap song. Now, I’ve experienced the mushroom communicating with me using dialog in the past, and honestly quite often through the words of a song, but never did the lyrics match up so perfectly with the exact sentiment being exchanged between the mushroom and I. Like what are the odds of that song coming on at the exact moment that the mushroom is expressing to me how much it values my friendship!? Truly a magical moment, and one that I’ll cherish forever. Since the mushroom was satisfied that there was nothing major to be ‘fixed’ about my behavior on this occasion, and since my only real intention for this trip was to make it through my first heroic dose unscathed, we decided to take the rest of the day off, so to speak, so we could get better acquainted with one another. Just moments ago I mentioned how the mood was overwhelmingly masculine when the voices of Eminem and Dre helped the mushroom and I consummate our newfound friendship, but the mushroom very quickly reverted to her default feminine state, only this time she brought with her an intense sexual energy. Erotic would be an understatement… this was a very horny mushroom. The beautiful, feminal mushroom was, at this point, quite literally foisting herself upon me as I lay there in the bathtub. Before you ask, I couldn’t exactly ‘see’ what she was or wasn’t wearing. This experience was also somehow non-visual, unfortunately, but there was a very overwhelming feeling of being intimate with someone. Intimate, not as in doing the deed, but more just being extremely close to and vulnerable and connected with one another. But before long, visual imagery did begin coming through… What I saw was like a highlight reel of all the beautiful women I’ve ever met in my life, each flaunting the sexiest aspects of their bodies, getting right up in my face, just like a lap dance. At this point I was still in the bathtub, still pretending to be a contortionist, my mouth still wide open… But now I’m moaning… and reasonably loudly too… Only they weren’t my moans, they were feminine moans, belonging to the women that were flashing through my visual field. I seriously have to install a surveillance camera in my bathroom before next week’s session, as this would simultaneously be the funniest and most horrifying thing to have on film! Patreon, anybody? Again I started howling. This time my laughs came out in a distorted, deep, slow motion voice. I honestly wonder if I’d allow myself to act this way in the presence of a trip sitter. I fucking hope I’d have the sense to… not do that. Again, all of this body movement was completely voluntary, but if I had to restrain myself so as not to alarm the trip sitter, I can’t be sure things would have gone as well as they did. After… whatever that was… Internally, I was still hanging out in the office which at this point was definitely more of a library environment than an office, but I got to experience first hand the feeling of winning the lottery. Imagine someone called you up right now and said, “sir, you’ve got the winning lottery ticket to last night’s $100m draw. Congratulations!” Can you imagine the sheer elation, the rapture, the ecstasy, the shock? I can, because that’s EXACTLY what happened to me. But it was actually a lot better than you’d think… Because, not only had I won $100m, but I had ALSO: married the most beautiful woman in the world, hit the game winning 3 in a game 7 of the NBA finals, become a New York Times Best Seller, and lead the Haka as the captain of the All Blacks during the Rugby World Cup grand final… ALL AT THE SAME TIME! I was simultaneously experiencing every possible peak experience all at the same time. All of my hopes and dreams were coming true right in front of me. Not only was I seeing this visually, but I could feel my system being flooded with the exact cocktail of hormones and neurotransmitters you’d receive when actually doing these things for real. Looking back on this part of the trip, it’s important to mention, I don’t think of these as memories or as thoughts or dreams, but rather real experiences that I have actually had, completely indistinguishable from the other real experiences I’ve had in my lifetime, you know, in regular, waking life. This might be why with every high dose mushroom trip I embark on, I feel as though I’m not just witnessing a whole lifetime of experiences but that I actually lived out those experiences and they belong to me just as much as anyone else. This, ladies and gentlemen, might be psilocybin’s superpower: to allow us to cross our own paths, with the paths walked by others. To not only access, but harness the collective consciousness of all human beings. Now, at this point, this is nothing more than a hunch, but it’s an idea I’ll be looking to explore more over the coming trips. So there I am, still wiggling around in the bathtub, but now I’m experiencing an extreme state of ecstasy. MDMA has a good wrap for making you able to feel ecstatic and blissful, but even the strongest most euphoric Molly high simply wouldn’t even register in comparison to the pure rapture I was feeling on this heroic dose mushroom trip. I said to myself, “This is what heaven feels like.” And then I realized time had disappeared completely – I was now in heaven for all of eternity. Not a bad set of circumstances to find yourself in, I might add. I can vividly remember repeating to myself, “It’s soooo perfect.” I would alternate between laughing in disbelief and repeating this phrase for what felt like an hour or 90 minutes. At this point, I had the overwhelming sense of a healing energy washing over my body and I’ve experienced this exact sensation on previous trips, too. It feels like bathing in this energy for just a few seconds would be enough to cure cancer. It feels as though it would be completely impossible for anything negative to survive due to the sheer proximity of a healing energy that powerful. It’s this flood of euphoria that I believe the psychedelic psychotherapists of the world are now starting to harness as they’re learning how to heal peoples’ deepest and most ingrained traumas using psilocybin. Luckily for me I feel very healthy both physically and mentally, so I haven’t had to do much in the way of healing just yet, but it’s incredibly reassuring knowing that this place exists when I require healing of my own. I transitioned from the bathtub to the shower and my ‘peak’ of pure bliss continued on and on and on. Every moment that went by reassured me that everything in the universe was exactly as it should be, that life was utterly perfect exactly as it was, and that everything would be taken care of forever. This, I guess, is what omniscience feels like: complete and total understanding of everything. I had all the answers. I had what can only be described as having completed the game of life. That’s what it felt like with the whole ‘winning of the lottery’ thing: it was as though I had crossed some sort of a finish line, but at the same time it felt not like reaching the end of something, but rather moving on to a new stage, like a great transitory period. Probably something to do with the cycle of death and birth, in hindsight. Gaining a truer metaphysical understanding of death is quite a common motif I’ve noticed in all of my mushroom trips. In one way or another, large amounts of mushrooms seem to always bring us right to the brink of death and will even hang us over that edge just a little bit. Getting a glimpse into the seemingly real mechanics of death is very exciting, because death is, after all, one of life’s great mysteries. However, on a heroic dose mushroom trip, death doesn’t seem particularly mysterious at all. The curtain is often pulled right back. I’ll be writing a separate article explaining how psychedelics have informed my current position on the significance of death, but I won’t get into it today. At this point in the trip, I had fully transitioned into what I call the ‘God state’, which is where you come to realize your true form, which is that of God. It was revealed to me on a previous trip that I was in fact God, so none of this was exactly news to me. I remember being in a deep state of shock when I first discovered this on one of my earlier trips, but that’s a story also to be told another day. When you’re in the God state, which is when you’re able to see and know everything, there’s an incredible sense of power. I remember ‘power’ and ‘control’ were the two words rattling around my head during this stage of the trip. I felt exactly like a Super Saiyan as I stood there in my shower. Unfortunately, even with my power level over 9,000 this wasn’t enough to permanently grant me the luscious locks of a Saiyan, but it’s not as though receding hairlines really matter all that much when you’re God anyway! In an earlier mushroom trip (4 grams), I managed to reach almost the same level of intensity that was felt in this 5g trip, but the difference between 5g and 4g was mainly the duration in which I stayed in that God state for. This time round, just when I thought things were due to start wrapping up, it continued on longer and longer. I can’t describe exactly what I’m seeing while in this God state because it’s completely unlanguagable, to use the words of Terence McKenna. But I’ll try… It was somewhat like being a super advanced cosmic supercomputer AGI, simultaneously downloading and processing every piece of data that ever existed in the universe, testing and simulating every possible combination of every possible reality, and digesting all the knowledge and wisdom of the cosmos in a single moment. The sheer processing power of the human-mushroom brain when in this God state is incomprehensible. In a single word, omniscience really is the only way to put it. You really, truly, know and understand everything. There are no more mysteries, at all. Learning, the thing I love to do the most, became completely synonymous with knowing. You see, the entire concept of learning seemed to lose all meaning, because as a God you already know everything, and so there is… nothing left to learn. When you know everything, there’s really no need to think either. This state of non-thinking created a great sense of calmness in my mind, it was by all means a meditative state. My mind, which hasn’t taken a day off since the day I was born, could finally be completely still. As I was looking for words to describe this feeling, I wasn’t sure whether to pick ‘enlightenment’ or ‘nirvana’, and so I found the following definitions very helpful: Enlightenment is something to work towards in the world of existence, nirvana is when the process is done, and one ceases to be. Enlightenment is a process and nirvana is the result. Nothing I’ve ever read has resonated with me more than that. I was unquestionably in a state of nirvana… that’s exactly what it was. The power, wisdom, and truth that lies just a few dried grams away from our everyday waking consciousness is absolutely outrageous, in my opinion, and deserves to be studied carefully. There is without question an abundant, seemingly untapped world full of literal miracles just waiting for us to explore it. As Terence once said, “I don’t see how they keep the lid on this thing!” Well, my mission here is to hopefully rip that lid off and show people that real magic exists in this world, and that we can improve the lives of those around us by harnessing it thoughtfully. Over the next weeks and months, I’ll be venturing back into the psychedelic realm many more times, each time bringing with me more and more curiosity. My tentative plan for the next trip is to spend more time exploring the office, or rather the library, and I’ll try to make this an interactive trip for all of you, by asking the mushroom your questions, and setting your intentions going into it. So if there’s a particular question you want me to ask the mushroom, or a subject you want me to explore further in the psychedelic realm, I encourage you to subscribe to my email newsletter, and simply reply to the welcome email with your thoughts. YouTube subscribers are also welcome to leave suggestions in the comments, but I will prioritize my email subscribers. The plan is to consume magic mushrooms every week, nothing less than a heroic dose of course, and to document the learnings I receive from the mushroom along the way. Depending on how busy life gets, every week will probably end up being more like every 7-10 days or so, but I will essentially be taking drugs and writing about it full time. At the end of my shower, after literally hours of rolling around in the bathtub, I knew I had burnt an absurd amount of calories on this trip. At about 5pm, just 4 hours after the trip began, the mushroom told me to go and eat the grilled chicken and mango salsa I had waiting for me in the fridge. I was very much still tripping at this stage, though definitely on the way down from the peak. As I got out of the shower, I had never felt so incredibly hungry in my life. I had also done a brutal leg workout at the gym some hours before the trip, so you could say it had been a pretty big day. That meal I ate was the most heavenly meal I’ve ever had. I was eating and dancing around my living room, just as I was at the beginning of my trip, absolutely beaming from the incredible experiences I’d just had. I’m absolutely shocked I didn’t get sick while doing this, because I was eating like an absolute pig. After eating, I cleaned the kitchen and got my clothes out ready for the next day. I thought it was a lovely gesture that, even though very intoxicated, I was still looking out for my future self. I prepared for bed and spent the evening winding down, feasting again at 7pm before chilling out and getting to bed nice and early. After that experience, I thought I would need a full 2-3 days of rest as I felt like my central nervous system, not to mention my entire body, ought to be absolutely exhausted. Surprisingly, it wasn’t. I woke up early the next day full of energy and began scribbling down this account immediately. I am extremely surprised at how easy it has been to recall the details of the trip. I think I have the Avery’s Albino strain to thank, at least in part, for this. It was definitely more gentle than the Golden Teachers and Blue Meanies I have used in the past, with a much lesser body high. Overall an absolutely delightful experience and I literally could not have scripted this thing any better had I tried. This is exactly what I wanted from my first of many documented heroic dose mushroom trips. Again, if you’re interested coming along with me on my next journey into the psychedelic realm, and if you want to learn everything I’m learning from the mushroom without the inconvenience of actually having to go through the experience yourself, make sure you subscribe to the newsletter so that you don’t miss any of the lessons the mushroom has to teach! -------------------- Every week I discuss the experiences, life lessons, and ideas I’ve been presented with while interacting with entities found in the psychedelic realm. Feel free to subscribe to my newsletter to receive summaries of everything I’m learning…
| |||||||
|
irregular verb Registered: 04/08/04 Posts: 37,528 |
| ||||||
|
I agree with your "approach is usually to just enter the trip with no agenda whatsoever, completely open minded, and not try to steer the ship in any particular direction."
In your report, much valuable detail was shared, and the enthusiasm even carries it to an extreme. The introductory chapters might not be necessary but letting us know this stuff about you, which largely fits as a description for much of the population of psychonauts Quote: using these explanations Quote: (strangely I also suffer when any cartoon puppy is separated from his loved ones. but I think the beach is really not getting the respect from you it deserves, although perhaps you dislike beach abuse in movies, and how people turn the beach into the suburbs by crowding them) establishes a kind of context for social psychonautical connection. You should take up the beach and waves in general with Miss Octotouch, just on a flotsam and jetsam level perhaps. At least the bathtub is your beach substitute (mine mostly too) and I think you had a whale of a time in that tiny puddle. Energetic dancing is a great way to reconnect to the body, but also it is a bit pyrotechnic rather than calming, and the drug is somewhat euphoric on its own, but really it is great to move the bones around and pour vigor and vitality into your mind this way. The perception of the octopus connecting to the innards of the mind is really quite a amazing way of interpreting the tentacular touches and changes of sensation and ideas in an entheogenically altered state, [each tentacle touch lasting long enough to persist on the stage of awareness as eight other contacts and memories are accessed] which I usually describe much more dry-ly as frame stacking. (overlapping moments of experiencing) To me that part of the octopus's union with your being was the most revealing part of the trip. Mentally, or spiritually speaking; otherwise this report is quite a carnival travelogue, even though you say Quote: thanks for the long read, enjoy! and more thanks for the introduction to Miss Octotouch. meet you on the beach! (or some other puddle of stars)
| |||||||
|
Registered: 05/24/23 Posts: 11 |
| ||||||
|
What an amazing account of an exceptionally well perceived trip. Thanks for the great read and good luck on the heroic adventures to come.
| |||||||
| |||||||
|
| Similar Threads | Poster | Views | Replies | Last post | ||
![]() |
Heroic Dose? | 2,039 | 3 | 08/29/01 05:53 PM by TheMagicalMushi | ||
![]() |
Need advice for higher dose trips | 2,149 | 13 | 02/09/22 11:57 PM by Phx13 | ||
![]() |
bAD TRIPS DUDE | 998 | 1 | 08/29/01 10:35 AM by HB | ||
![]() |
To trip or not to trip?? | 1,005 | 8 | 11/20/02 03:24 AM by Strumpling | ||
![]() |
Tripping for the 1st time.. | 1,420 | 10 | 10/29/01 05:46 PM by copeman25 | ||
![]() |
14g trip report requested in cult. forum | 2,224 | 8 | 07/11/03 04:36 AM by metrix | ||
![]() |
First trip idea? ( |
2,382 | 30 | 09/11/03 02:19 PM by domite | ||
![]() |
about to trip 10 hits of acid...will update ( |
3,234 | 20 | 10/04/03 09:39 AM by Rebirtha |
| Extra information | ||
| You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled Moderator: psilocybinjunkie 706 topic views. 0 members, 2 guests and 3 web crawlers are browsing this forum. [ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ] | ||



Every week I discuss the experiences, life lessons, and ideas I’ve been presented with while interacting with entities found in the psychedelic realm.
_ 


