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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,328
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Quote:
Blue_Lux said: I have seen something very similar. I have seen patterns forming all over my naked body, and I saw how my body was evolved. I saw the 'imperfections,' but they weren't conceived that way. My husband and I have been around each other naked so much that it does in fact turn into something different. There is a maturity about it that develops. I've tripped naked with him too and that is a very interesting experience. Reality is much more interesting. Hard to manage however.
I am more comfortable being naked. Especially if under the influence. I wasn't until after 45. I had these misconceptions in my head and had to gain my own confidence. I had a relationship with a man who made me feel sexy and that helped. It was really something I did on my own.
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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής


Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,151
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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Psychedelics decondition me at least to see the absurdity of the mental chains. I think the suffering associated with recognizing subsequently that there are so many illusions and facades of conditioning is like Prometheus constantly having his liver eaten. The psychedelics dissolve 'conditioning' so much that I actually see conditioning, which I mean by constantly trod pathways of heuristics and repeated associations, and open things to what they really are, accompanied by so many perceptions that they are hard to keep track of. The brain wants to tie them together but cannot until the experience is over. Having this happen completely is how I see ego death, because the self consists of associations of knowledge that remain in a constant line through the progression of time. I think the puritanical views about the human body are real hallucinations not merely of sight but of mentality itself. The psychedelics are not so much hallucinatory to me, but undoing of hallucination. That is how I see sexual neuroses, as for instance someone finding themselves in a bathroom seeking sex. That whole situation, with the walls around one, is a hallucination.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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When I did coke in the late 80's
I always had to strip
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής


Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,151
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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Must have been some great coke. I used to do cocaine as it made me very sociable. and I vowed never again because of cardiotoxicity. I sat rocking in the fetal position, arms wrapped around my knees, for an hour or two the last time I did it. It makes me very talkative; on it I can sit and listen very well without my usual eccentric mannerisms, but actually I tried to have sex on cocaine a time or two before the rocking back and forth on the floor (I hope this isn't TMI), and I had the worst erectile dysfunction I have ever had.
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής


Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,151
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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that was incredibly embarrassing
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Freedom
Pigment of your imagination



Registered: 05/26/05
Posts: 5,850
Last seen: 33 minutes, 15 seconds
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i bet a lot of sex taboos come from the impacts of overpopulation. with exponential population growth you can easily grow way to big for the resources available.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Quote:
Blue_Lux said: ... and listen very well without my usual eccentric mannerisms...
are we talking about tourettes in your case? quite a few super intelligent people have a form of tourettes.
My GF at the time could consume twice as much coke as I could and we just played cards forever and smoked crappy cigarettes. several months of purgatory like that.
got a new GF and stopped accepting coke session invites that I had to pay for anyway.
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής


Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,151
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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I have this weird thing I have had since childhood that I am frankly too embarrassed to describe. This is actually the first time I have said it to anyone besides my h. It has to do with animals, and it comes out when I'm around my husband. I have considered maybe I have some form of tourettes, and spoken with hubub about it. Maybe yes.
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής


Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,151
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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I would express it a lot more openly in early childhood. I can't even describe it if I wanted to, but He understands and thinks it is just part of my personality when I open up.
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής


Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,151
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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Okay, I lied. I could describe it, but it is too weird.
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής


Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,151
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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Weirdly enough, I can't find anything about this thing of mine. I am reading people have animals in order to stop it from happening. This happens to me in the presence of animals, so mine is literally the opposite of all this stuff.
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής


Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,151
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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I am highly reluctant to post this, and I may delete this. Have you heard anything like this?
Oh wow! I just read something profound. Dogs respond to gibberish more than actual words. The thing is... And this will sound fantastic... I actually did this gibberish tourettes thing to dogs and cats as early as I can remember, in their presence. My siblings thought I was nuts. Maybe it isn't so nuts afterall. I don't know. I still won't give you a full example. It is truly insane sounding. At the age of 6 or 7 I told my sister I could talk to our dog, and our dog before that one whom was mauled by a womeriner, a little Yorkshire terrier, who would cause the most ridiculous constructions of gibberish. I can give you an example okay. One example. Don't laugh. For some reason I would call the dog "deedenz" "the deedenz" "my deedenz" and this was accompanied by the most indescribable feeling as if I was putting into words the actual movements and being of the dog itself. There are many other gibberish words I have come up with in this state, especially with cats, but for sure with dogs, rats, and hamsters. Again this is the most I have told anyone about this other than you know. And he has seen me do it to this day. Perhaps this is related to some of my eccentricities in social settings. I could analyze this a bit, but this is too long at this point.
Edited by Blue_Lux (12/05/23 01:03 PM)
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Blue_Lux
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Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,151
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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I have seen my life like a science experiment / case study since I realized Christianity was bogus at the age of 12 or 13. This is how I can bear to lay bare some of these intimate details about myself.
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Blue_Lux
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Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,151
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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I am aware some people talk baby words to dogs and do the whole googoogaga thing. That is not what I am talking about. There are more details, but I cannot bring myself to make myself seem so insane. It isn't googoogaga. I have yet to hear of anyone else doing this. I was convinced as a child that animals could pick up on when I did this, and I had very strong feelings for animals. I still do. I have kept this to myself for long enough. Think what you will, but I'd like to know what you think. and the only person that has ever caused this in me is my husband, and I have transformed it into a plethora of inside jokes. If someone heard us, pretty often they would think us totally insane or on drugs.
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Blue_Lux
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Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,151
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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It is like glossolalia. This is part of the reason psychedelics fascinated me so much after the first time I tried one. They caused these sound/words in my head that related to images, and they were very quick. There is one I remember vividly but it is so absolutely hysterical to me and sexual that I cannot say it. Other ones during that first trip made me feel a bit weird. But psychedelics absolutely cause something similar in me, but I don't vocalize it.
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Freedom
Pigment of your imagination



Registered: 05/26/05
Posts: 5,850
Last seen: 33 minutes, 15 seconds
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do you meow? I had a girlfriend that would spontaneiously meow around me
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Blue_Lux
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Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,151
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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definitely not
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής


Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,151
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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I may delete all that just because you asked me that. But I want Red Green Vines to respond first.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Quote:
Freedom said: do you meow? I had a girlfriend that would spontaneiously meow around me
this sounds like it could be really fun
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής


Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,151
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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Perhaps it doesn't conform with academic dogma concerning language formation. Hmm. Maybe I will keep it all up.
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