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starvinghooker
Voyager



Registered: 04/16/23
Posts: 533
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Fear of change 2
#28562929 - 11/30/23 08:39 PM (1 month, 27 days ago) |
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Hey, all. Thanks for reading as I'm not really posting expecting a response; I suppose I just need to release this somehow and I'm in the cultivation forum a lot, so I'll drop a dime on myself here with your permission.
In short, I'm afraid to trip. I've only a handful of mild to moderate trips so far, my first ever being in March. Im certainly not posting to spill but, in short, I have to say that I've reached a point in my life where great decisions have to be made, some of which will change the direction of the rest of my years. Because of this, I'm afraid of what I might learn by opening up that doorway again, so I've avoided consuming for maybe e months at this point.
I'm not afraid of having a bad experience as my trips have always been a mix of peace and hilarity...very enjoyable. However, I also know the capability of these experiences when it comes to being a wonderful and so.etimes stern teacher. I suppose my fear stems from finding out that I'm wrong about what I believe I have to do, or (worse yet) find out that I'm right and that there is no other way but than to succumb to what I've already told myself has to happen but now with the added force of the spirits telling me to do so.
All this being said, I am without question going to dose this weekend. I have to hear an outside (maybe inside?) voice that will help guide me or at least tell me that I'll be OK.
I guess if I have any question for you guys it would be this: do any of you guys use your experiences as a way to learn or get guidance about things going on? Is it selfish for me to hope to use my experience in such a self-centered mindset, or are reasons like mine actually what the mushrooms are there for? Am I ok to do this free of guilt associated with asking for help, or will I be scolded for approaching things in this manner?
I began using mushrooms because I needed help but now that I'm ready to dive in and get the help I need, I'm almost too ashamed to ask for it. I think this says more about me than I'm prepared to admit.
Sorry so long, and if you made it this far thank you all so much for reading.
-------------------- Grab life by the balls and yank on 'em til everything you want comes gushing out in thick, creamy ribbons Noob like me? Start here! Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery
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Eclipse3130
Servant of the Fungi



Registered: 10/06/13
Posts: 6,220
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 8 minutes, 1 second
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Well the good news is you'll know very shortly and you don't have to think about it 
If you don't feel like you're overstaying your welcome you're probably not, 100% of the time we don't take the mushrooms, the mushrooms decide when to take us.
-------------------- "In The Material World One seeks retirement and grows Old In The Magical World One seeks Enlightenment and grows Wiser In The Miraculous World One seeks nothing and grows Lighter As we all tread the Homeward Path we will explore many Realms And one day... we will all Realize that all experiences are Simply Different ways in which The All-That Is Perceives Itself"
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wolf8312
Pennywise


Registered: 10/01/12
Posts: 2,356
Last seen: 3 days, 1 hour
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Quote:
starvinghooker said: Hey, all. Thanks for reading as I'm not really posting expecting a response; I suppose I just need to release this somehow and I'm in the cultivation forum a lot, so I'll drop a dime on myself here with your permission.
In short, I'm afraid to trip. I've only a handful of mild to moderate trips so far, my first ever being in March. Im certainly not posting to spill but, in short, I have to say that I've reached a point in my life where great decisions have to be made, some of which will change the direction of the rest of my years. Because of this, I'm afraid of what I might learn by opening up that doorway again, so I've avoided consuming for maybe e months at this point.
I'm not afraid of having a bad experience as my trips have always been a mix of peace and hilarity...very enjoyable. However, I also know the capability of these experiences when it comes to being a wonderful and so.etimes stern teacher. I suppose my fear stems from finding out that I'm wrong about what I believe I have to do, or (worse yet) find out that I'm right and that there is no other way but than to succumb to what I've already told myself has to happen but now with the added force of the spirits telling me to do so.
All this being said, I am without question going to dose this weekend. I have to hear an outside (maybe inside?) voice that will help guide me or at least tell me that I'll be OK.
I guess if I have any question for you guys it would be this: do any of you guys use your experiences as a way to learn or get guidance about things going on? Is it selfish for me to hope to use my experience in such a self-centered mindset, or are reasons like mine actually what the mushrooms are there for? Am I ok to do this free of guilt associated with asking for help, or will I be scolded for approaching things in this manner?
The 'mushroom' isn't a teacher in the literal sense whereby one must follow its rules and moral pronouncements or else receive a bollocking! Any guilt will emanate from you yourself not some mushroom God or deity.
The only real lesson that the tryptamine headspace imparts is essentially a Buddhist one: surrender.
I don't honestly believe it has any morality or it will judge a person if that person is behaving in a certain manner (you drank alcohol and disrespected the mush-Gods, etc...) it disapproves of, though if you yourself believe such things then that's a different matter.
Just let the experience flow wherever it will flow and if you get into difficulties concentrate only upon your own breathing. Good luck!
-------------------- "I'm every nightmare you ever had. I am your worst dreams come true. I am everything you ever were afraid of." Pennywise the dancing clown
Edited by wolf8312 (12/01/23 12:51 AM)
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LewDoja
mad $cientist, ganjacologist


Registered: 09/18/09
Posts: 974
Loc: A fictional tale, in fictional...
Last seen: 1 day, 18 hours
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Re: Fear of change [Re: wolf8312] 1
#28563049 - 11/30/23 10:26 PM (1 month, 27 days ago) |
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They help you (well me) see past MY OWN bullshit. If that makes any sense or helps.
I do wish you the best outcome in the journey- but don't focus on the things that weigh heavy in your heart, for those will likely hold you down.
Sounds like you already know what is best for you.
If you doubts that it is the right decision, ask someone (honest) you trust for unbiased opinion.
Back to the title of OP...
it's natural to have anxiety/reluctance to change.
For this I can assure you, the Universe WILL make change and that is not usually the way we want it or have a say in the direction of change. Knowing this truth, will allow you to accept that it is for the best (at least you got to choose) or at least "it is what it is" .
So if you've been Stuck - there is nothing wrong with asking the mushroom for a little motivation. Just might not get the answers one is hoping for, if any at all.
Mush Love
-------------------- a wise man said: "Bad drugs tell you, that you want more; Good drugs tell you, that you've had enough" Trades pending: if we have any pending trades or you never received anything that you were expecting send a PM with details. I've had a lot going on, and may have overlooked something as well as USPS snafu's.
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Entheogens
generated by a.i



Registered: 03/03/22
Posts: 95
Loc: super position
Last seen: 1 month, 25 days
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Quote:
wolf8312 said:
The 'mushroom' isn't a teacher in the literal sense whereby one must follow its rules and moral pronouncements or else receive a bollocking! Any guilt will emanate from you yourself not some mushroom God or deity.
I don't honestly believe it has any morality or it will judge a person if that person is behaving in a certain manner (you drank alcohol and disrespected the mush-Gods, etc...) it disproves of, though if you yourself believe such things then that's a different matter.
Strongly second this, Psychedelics only amplify states of our being (mind) that already exist, it's not going to "give" you anything that you didn't already have inside of yourself. Personifying these substances as beings that possess something that's outside of ourselves imo is a very slippery slope.
I'm definitely not saying there is no benefit to taking these substances to help. But to me the real healing happens because we're able to see our circumstances from a different perspective which allows us to make more informed decisions as to what makes most sense moving forward. I wouldn't let this trip be the final straw before you have to make some life changing decision, let yourself have the experience, see what comes up and then reflect on it deeply when you've come back to earth.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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after your trip you can change your life path informed by a different perspective, one that has a wider range of insight.
during the trip is the wrong time to assume meaningful answers to critical life questions, even though everything seems more meaningful.
I am not in favor of relegating serious matters to inebriated consciousness, but I do like using that consciousness as a lens towards everything, and later let myself do the figuring out what happened or what it means to me.
Many people here think you should state your goal or purpose in some ceremony prior to tripping. That is a bit too religious for me. I do not consider mushrooms to be that kind of spirit. it is more of an overall teacher, capable of helping open awareness, but not able to provide solutions responsibly.
All this with no clue what your issue really is, and I do not need to, good luck on your little shroom journey, and on the next big reorientation you anticipate as well.
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_ 🧠 _
Edited by redgreenvines (12/01/23 05:02 AM)
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GenesisCorrupted
Taoist, Writer, Student, Artist




Registered: 08/01/23
Posts: 7,184
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 8 minutes, 48 seconds
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I think working on yourself is an excellent way to use these. That is a great intention to have when entering a trip. It’s been very helpful in dealing with trauma. You can learn things about yourself on these compounds. Really get to see what makes you happiest. You can use that knowledge for the rest of your life.
I really hope you have a great weekend. I also hope I don’t have to look at your avatar anytime soon. It’s hard not to stare.
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Skropi
Stranger

Registered: 11/01/23
Posts: 190
Loc: Greece
Last seen: 41 minutes, 8 seconds
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I agrre with everyone here, even though I am the least experienced psychonaut here. The usual cliche, that psilocybin is just a tool, holds true in my opinion. Tools dont give answers, and they solve nothing by themselves. It is the mind that controls the hand that is using them that is doing all the work. In my case, they really helped me, in ways that I am still contemplating. But their help was to just open my mind and get me unstuck, the actual work is something I will have to do, and it isnt easy.
-------------------- Ἄνδρα μοι ἔννεπε, Μοῦσα, πολύτροπον
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starvinghooker
Voyager



Registered: 04/16/23
Posts: 533
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Re: Fear of change [Re: Skropi] 2
#28563583 - 12/01/23 10:31 AM (1 month, 27 days ago) |
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Thanks to everyone for their responses.
One person mentioned seeing past their own BS. This sums up a lot of what I hope to do. I've allowed too many outside influences to disturb my path as of late and I need to let go of a lot of that, as well.
Another poster mentioned not putting too much stock in what happens during the trip itself, but rather placing things in their proper order afterwards. This is a great reminder for me as I've done this so far with my experiences. I would hope to never put to much emphasis on something that I "learned" during a trip; I have great respect for the abilities and power of this substance but I also understand the missteps associated with trying to adhere to inebriated thought.
I'm sure that things are going to be different after this weekend. I've reached a point where things must change, with or without the use of mushrooms. My hope in using is that I'm able to gain more insight that I might not have otherwise.
Thank you all again, and I'll see ya on the other side.
-------------------- Grab life by the balls and yank on 'em til everything you want comes gushing out in thick, creamy ribbons Noob like me? Start here! Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,328
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Quote:
starvinghooker said: Hey, all. Thanks for reading as I'm not really posting expecting a response; I suppose I just need to release this somehow and I'm in the cultivation forum a lot, so I'll drop a dime on myself here with your permission.
In short, I'm afraid to trip. I've only a handful of mild to moderate trips so far, my first ever being in March. Im certainly not posting to spill but, in short, I have to say that I've reached a point in my life where great decisions have to be made, some of which will change the direction of the rest of my years. Because of this, I'm afraid of what I might learn by opening up that doorway again, so I've avoided consuming for maybe e months at this point.
I'm not afraid of having a bad experience as my trips have always been a mix of peace and hilarity...very enjoyable. However, I also know the capability of these experiences when it comes to being a wonderful and so.etimes stern teacher. I suppose my fear stems from finding out that I'm wrong about what I believe I have to do, or (worse yet) find out that I'm right and that there is no other way but than to succumb to what I've already told myself has to happen but now with the added force of the spirits telling me to do so.
All this being said, I am without question going to dose this weekend. I have to hear an outside (maybe inside?) voice that will help guide me or at least tell me that I'll be OK.
I guess if I have any question for you guys it would be this: do any of you guys use your experiences as a way to learn or get guidance about things going on? Is it selfish for me to hope to use my experience in such a self-centered mindset, or are reasons like mine actually what the mushrooms are there for? Am I ok to do this free of guilt associated with asking for help, or will I be scolded for approaching things in this manner?
I began using mushrooms because I needed help but now that I'm ready to dive in and get the help I need, I'm almost too ashamed to ask for it. I think this says more about me than I'm prepared to admit.
Sorry so long, and if you made it this far thank you all so much for reading.
What is your fear?
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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,328
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I just re-read it. You can choose to view it differently. Shrooms assists you with self exploration. And how exciting to learn new things, and explore new areas of yourself and your beliefs. Challenging our own beliefs is how we grow as people. It does suck when you learn you were wrong. It is also how we become better people, open minded, and grow. It only sucks when we allow our egos to lead the way. I think you are smarter than you may realize because you are open minded and mature enough to already recognize it before it has occurred. I hope you have fun and enjoy your trip. Share your experience afterwards
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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
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elasticaltiger
Like Tigers in Coitus




Registered: 06/24/13
Posts: 8,046
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You may very well see and feel those things that you don't want to see and feel.
All I can say is that I've never regretted it. My first trip was 3.5 grams of cyanescens and I was completely removed from reality. It was so unpleasant in the moment. However when the peak came down I felt as though I had been purged of sin. I had never been so happy and grateful to inhabit the body I had.
I will meet the cyanescens again when I"m ready.
It's going to be OK. You will be OK.
-------------------- First time growing cakes? DON'T make a Shotgun Fruiting Chamber The Shmuvbox. - The Old TC's Like it Afraid to Start Growing From Your Own Prints? Drop it Like a Tiger! No Pouring. No Syringes. No Cutting. No flaming. No Contamination. No Bullshit. "The best thing to do while your waiting is to start more stuff. I usually got so much happening that I have tossed projects simply because I didn't have time for them. -Pastywhite QFT Pastywhite's Easy Agar Tek (PastyPlates) Tiger Drop Video Demos By munchauzen Van Gogh would’ve sold more than one painting if he’d put tigers in them.―Bill Watterson EZEKIEL 23:20
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BasicTek
Psychonaut


Registered: 01/05/23
Posts: 52
Last seen: 17 hours, 24 minutes
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I trip pretty much for pure enjoyment, I watch movies, listen to music, smoke cigars, and just have a blast about once a week at really high doses.
That being said, things are always revealed to me regardless. Tripping gets you honest with yourself. It can reveal denial, it can reveal your deepest desires, and it can reveal what you need to do to pursue them.
I hope you come back to this thread and tell us what you found out. The experiences that others share are so unique to them and their situations, it's always interesting to see what comes of it.
Also to note I don't always listen to the trip because I'm stubborn and mostly just want to have fun, but it always plants seeds, many of which have amounted to really good changes in my life.
Happy tripping!!!
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Skropi
Stranger

Registered: 11/01/23
Posts: 190
Loc: Greece
Last seen: 41 minutes, 8 seconds
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Re: Fear of change [Re: BasicTek]
#28564567 - 12/01/23 11:01 PM (1 month, 26 days ago) |
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Reading through all those, well thought out and mature responses, makes me really happy to have found this place.
-------------------- Ἄνδρα μοι ἔννεπε, Μοῦσα, πολύτροπον
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Heroic Dosage
Psychonaut Storyteller



Registered: 11/30/23
Posts: 30
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 1 month, 6 days
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Hey bud,
Quote:
starvinghooker said: I suppose my fear stems from finding out that I'm wrong about what I believe I have to do, or (worse yet)
Isn't this precisely the outcome you want? Finding out you're wrong about what you have to do, and instead doing the correct thing, is much better than potentially making a big mistake.
Quote:
find out that I'm right and that there is no other way but than to succumb to what I've already told myself has to happen but now with the added force of the spirits telling me to do so.
I don't quite understand what you're saying here... Do you mean you simply have to make a tough decision?
Life's full of em!
Quote:
All this being said, I am without question going to dose this weekend. I have to hear an outside (maybe inside?) voice that will help guide me or at least tell me that I'll be OK.
Good on you. You'll absolutely be okay.
Quote:
I guess if I have any question for you guys it would be this: do any of you guys use your experiences as a way to learn or get guidance about things going on?
That is precisely, and exclusively, what I use these experiences for.
Quote:
Is it selfish for me to hope to use my experience in such a self-centered mindset, or are reasons like mine actually what the mushrooms are there for?
Am I ok to do this free of guilt associated with asking for help, or will I be scolded for approaching things in this manner?
It's my experience that the mushroom cares about your betterment as a human being.
I think the mushroom would jump at the chance to give you guidance on the matter.
And no, there's really nothing selfish about this. Shit if it makes you feel better, just ask the mushroom for permission to discuss the subject.
Worst case it says no and you let IT set the agenda for the rest of the trip - it's not going to drag you through the mud for simply asking for a little guidance.
It's like when people say farmer's abuse their sheep dogs by 'forcing' them to work with them all day long. The reality is the dogs absolutely fking LIVE to do this work - the farmer couldn't give their dog a 'day off' even if they tried.
If the mushroom spirit LIVES for anything, it's precisely to help you with this.
Quote:
I began using mushrooms because I needed help but now that I'm ready to dive in and get the help I need, I'm almost too ashamed to ask for it. I think this says more about me than I'm prepared to admit.
I think it tells a lot about you too.
The mushroom likes people like you. You have a pure heart and are will intentioned. That's why you've had positive experiences every time.
Just relax a little and stick your chest out some more man.
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