When I lived somewhere that was warm/hot for most of the year, I was a HEALTH NUT. I worked out all the time, I loved going outside. I ate lots of healthy food constantly.
After living somewhere that is cold for most of the year, my body is beginning to slowly commit suicide.
I no longer have the desire, energy, or motivation to exercise or even eat. I can only feel any sense of "happiness" by using some kind of drug. If I try to exercise, I become extremely depressed to the point that I have suicidal thoughts that I can only get rid of by using meth. If I try to eat a lot of healthy food, it just translates into more energy put toward worrying, panicking, etc.
My body is no longer trying to grow, and it no longer wants to be alive. My body is slowly losing hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have made a promise to myself today that I absolutely will save 15 euros per week, no questions asked, in the belief that after about maybe a year or something like that, I will have enough money for a plane ticket to leave.
This is my only hope to escape this REAL, ACTUAL, LIVING NIGHTMARE that I cannot escape from. It is literally worse than being in a prison. I was homeless before I came here, and I thought that there was no possible way that living in Ireland could be any worse than being homeless in Alabama, but I was dead wrong. I am literally begging every single person I know to help me leave Ireland, but no one seems to care. They can't understand just how much I'm suffering and how badly I need to leave. Suffering is on another goddamn level here. I don't even want to hang myself or overdose on pills. That would be giving up and letting the idiots win. I'm not going to let the idiots win and I'm not going to let Ireland kill me. No human being could ever go through what I've been through, let alone willingly, and come out as good as I have. I have been through literal years of non-stop suffering, pain, and agony, but that cannot do anything to me because of how strong I am. Other people may mentally and physically break after years, but not me. I am not even mentally affected. I am still physically strong.
I have not even slightly lost my grip on reality, and what is right and wrong. My strength protects my mentality, therefore I will only improve mentally. The cold may cause me relentless absolute complete pain, which may decrease my dopamine, that is where meth comes in. Before I had meth, I had to work out a lot, and eat a lot, but I just slowly lost the will to continue working out because of the cold. There are an unlimited number of things in this world that are much dumber than the problem I am dealing with. There are innocent people dying for nothing. Innocent children. Innocent women. For nothing. I don't place the blame for this on myself. I think it is pathetic that an entire planet of people can manage to fund wars, a drug war, and tons of other nonsense, but it seems that every person I ask for help somehow loses the ability to reply to me anymore. They don't care if I kill myself. Why is it that people cannot do for me what I would do for them. Before, things like this usually boiled down to people judging me, thinking negative things about me that weren't true, etc. It's sad that people are so detached from reality that they cannot see that I am a living angel. I am just stuck in Hell. Apparently, they are demons, full of ignorance that appears as evil. I don't think that anyone is actually dumb, ignorant, or evil. I think they lack dopamine. I think they lack any ability to be aware. I think they only have the ability to be rude to others. That's the only thing they ever learned, because like I said, their possibilities are limited, they are evil/ignorant. Socializing would not exist in a society full of people who are completely aware. Because there would be no possibility of depression or anger.
Normally, what people naturally gravitate toward doing is socializing as a way to relieve the stress caused by the cold. In warm weather, this does not happen. There is no stress. You can simply just live life... the way it should be... not suffering silently with no hope of escape, and no way to make life any better. Since I didn't grow up here, I can't use socializing as an activity to stimulate dopamine, because people here have destroyed minds and aren't aware of it. This is why they are behind on drug laws. Any country that has made drugs illegal consists of ignorant/unaware people as the majority. It doesn't matter if the country has the highest... SAT scores or... national scores in mathematics or some other bullshit. Being able to memorize a bunch of complicated and unnatural bullshit doesn't mean they are more intelligent, it means they are more easily used as tools.
It means they have had their natural humanity ripped from their bodies and replaced with some programming code, ever since they were born. From the moment they were born, they began to learn something that was wrong. From the first sound that they heard, the first thing or person that they saw. It was wrong. It seems that humanity has problems that, if solved, would prove the majority of humanity wrong in everything that it does and thinks. This is why artificial intelligence will fail. It will be taught to "think" a certain way. But this is wrong from the very beginning. The correct way to think cannot be taught. We are all born with correctly functioning brains and perceptions that reflect evolution, DNA, etc. An animal's body functions as if it can instantly complete any task the very instant that it has created this task as to be completed mentally. This is because an animal's body is so very strong, that even a small animal should atleast be able to complete one or two single tasks against a much larger, stronger animal. Although once the task has completed, the animal that which has had a task completed against it may react instantly in any way it wishes. Tasks that are completed by animals in nature occur instantly similar to chemical reactions.
If the blueprints/code of reality can be manipulated by something that does not exist, this will create a problem which will be solved by a non-existent answer, cancelling itself out. Anything that which may slow or delay the completion of any necessary and/or logical task should be removed. Anything that does not exist that which may cause something that does exist to become non-existent should be removed, or evolution will cease to exist, and all forms of life that operate within the boundaries of the immediate reality will self-destruct/commit natural suicide in random, unpredictable ways that may have never happened at any point in time previously.
The problems created through these actions are unnatural and cannot be solved with natural methods. This ultimately means that the problem must be tolerated or eliminated. Lack of a solution incase of any unforeseen results arising due to attempts to tolerate or eliminate will cause problems vastly outweighing anything previously. Failure to interpret this as a possibility in future circumstances guarantees the problem being unsolvable. My failure to previously use foresight to visualize my current situation as a possibility in the future has led to the problem being nearly an unending, unsolvable problem. The failure of humanity has led to a massive problem, completely detaching humanity from reality. It's not to assume that all technology is bad, or anything of the sort. It's not to say that we should have stayed in the jungle. It's not to say that we should not have invented anything. It is to say that, if the average person could correctly perceive reality while being aware of it, the possibility of inhabiting space and increasing the lifespan of the species of humans to infinite would be entirely possible.
The possibility of generating infinite resources for all of humanity's needs would be entirely possible, and it would not take too much effort. The effort required would be less of a problem than anything we're currently dealing with. The possibility of quite literally guaranteeing an entire galaxy of anything that person desires, to each and every person would not only be possible, but we would already be looking at many more evolutions of ideas beyond this one, as literally anything that the human mind could produce would be entirely possible, and a reality.
I was thinking about that guy that stole a sign in North (or south?) Korea and was imprisoned for some ridiculous amount of time there, and the Usa was trying to get him sent back home, but it was too late by the time he arrived back in the Usa.
It was assumed by many people that he was tortured horribly by either the guards or the other inmates. Even Trump said that the guy was "tortured beyond belief"... but what I think happened, is that he was completely deprived of all methods of dopamine stimulation. Socializing... anything entertaining... nothing sexual... and the food was probably garbage. He probably wasn't allowed to exercise, or he just didn't want to. It's possible that they didn't physically torture him at all. The body will attempt to commit suicide without dopamine, due to levels of anger/depression outweighing any ability to maintain control of oneself, or even attempt to have any sanity. The health issues that he displayed were determined by the environment, atmosphere, temperature, amount of nutrition consumed, amount of sunlight exposed to, basically all external factors, though these issues were perceived to be a result of physical torture. One would question why ANY sane or SOMEWHAT logically-thinking human being or living thing could be aware of such a thing happening to someone and not do something to stop it. This points to what I was saying previously about people who can speak other languages, memorize lots of unnatural shit in order to be used as tools, they lack humanity, etc. The fact that that happened to him points to not only the staff/officers at that prison being completely out of their minds, but infact points to a larger part of the population also having similar insane characteristics. They have shielded themselves from reality completely. They do not exist. They do not exist because their evolution does not exist. With a good person, who has a purely good mind, with no possibility of ever being something that could create pain for anything or anyone, possibilities are infinite. The euphoria is infinite. The different kinds of euphoria and the different kinds of feelings are infinite. The different and new thoughts are infinite. The new ideas are infinite. And so, space is infinite. Those that are evil, those that wish to harm others, or wish to produce complex methods of creating problems for other people, are limited in their possibilities, as they are unaware of reality. But evil defined is 100% pure ignorance and unawareness.
Awareness of reality would open a window to absolute happiness, a literal never-ending euphoria that is eternally gradually increasing and never decreasing, every thought deeply thought of and based totally on reality, and never delusional or unrealistic. All thought is based completely on reality. Reality is the only thing that exists. Everything else is imaginary.
Edited by Anonymous (11/10/23 09:55 AM)
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