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Anonymous #1

TIP don't be the good guy.
    #28507204 - 10/16/23 05:46 PM (3 months, 10 days ago)

So I go see a friend first time in years. She is married and very well off.
Lets just say as I pull too the house this half naked woman hugs me and then starts showing off her farm. spend the whole day, her hubby gets home we kick it off well.

I leave was a great day, but she seemed like she was on coke whole time.

She hits me up about 4 days later with some pretty BIG stories. I spend the next 3 nights with her. She has full blown schizophrenia hasen't slept in days. Her family thinks she is on drugs and can't understand it's just her head. I try too tip her in the right directions and she has nothing too do with it. Got so bad I had too take a night off and now I think she is gone. like MIA no one knows.

Here is what my post is really about I hate being the good guy. This whole time I could have been doing a lot more than just hanging out. Not only did I really respect her man as a person but this is not the girl I knew this is in no way shape or form the girl I would have thrown my self at last time I saw her. Honestly think one reason she is now mia cause nothing happened that fucked her mind up. This is a beautiful 106lb cow girl how could anyone shut her down. I just can't be that guy.


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Anonymous #2

Re: TIP don't be the good guy. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28507814 - 10/17/23 07:57 AM (3 months, 10 days ago)

For a start, if someone is unwell unfortunately there's often nothing much you can do for them. If they're really in such a bad state that they're a danger, you can get them evaluated for 72 hours. But beyond that, there's not much else you can do about the situation.

I would be curious to hear what the husband has to say about it, and if he can get her help. It's possible there might be some abuse behind the scenes that triggered this psychosis; or it's possible that's just the way she was. He might be just as interested in her well-being as you, and you might've been able to work with him on getting her treatment. Sad story all around.

However, this part of your post is a a bit baffling...

Quote:

Here is what my post is really about I hate being the good guy. This whole time I could have been doing a lot more than just hanging out. Not only did I really respect her man as a person but this is not the girl I knew this is in no way shape or form the girl I would have thrown my self at last time I saw her.




Your friend seems to be deeply mentally unwell, but your main concern seems to be that you didn't try to have sex with her and you're a 'good guy' for that? Your dick's wetness matters more than your friend's well-being, eh?

Please correct me if I'm wrong, I'm hoping I had the wrong idea. But it reads to me like you wish she wasn't unwell so you could have sex with her. Or are you saying you wish you'd had sex with her anyway, even knowing she is unwell? Because it would most certainly be rape to have sex with someone if you know they're psychotic and not able to give informed consent.


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Anonymous #3

Re: TIP don't be the good guy. [Re: Anonymous #2] * 1
    #28507822 - 10/17/23 08:10 AM (3 months, 10 days ago)

I think OP was trying to say that he turned down her advances at some point, and that fucked her up somehow and contributed to her mental issues.

And that he's kicking himself for not taking the chance when she wasn't in her current state.

OP, she didn't go off the rails because of you. Brain chemistry is complex.

And while you're kicking yourself now, you don't know what the other path in this choose-your-own-adventure novel would have looked like. Maybe it would have blown up in your face. Maybe it would have been the perfect sweet-spot downlow action, until she flipped out and yelled "I'm fucking him" to her husband while you were in the room. Maybe it would have worked out fine, including an open blessing from her husband, and now that she's MIA and off the rails, you'd be heartbroken.

Regardless, given the current situation, you wouldn't be doing anything with her RIGHT NOW. So you'd have some memory of a thing that happened, and the knowledge that it will probably never happen again. Not really all that different from remembering a thing that ALMOST happened. Except that in this version, your conscience is still clean and you're not caught up in anything too crazy.


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Anonymous #4

Re: TIP don't be the good guy. [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #28510411 - 10/19/23 11:12 AM (3 months, 8 days ago)

I understand that polite society expects me to use mattress tags, booster seats, consent forms, virtue signals, and victimhood narratives. 

Quote:

This whole time I could have been doing a lot more than just hanging out




What has disturbed me, several times, in my own life, is the realization that I was being set up as that 'bad' guy by someone who knew (his/her) place, who liked it that way, and who consciously wanted me to take advantage, when it would have been grossly, socially inappropriate.


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Anonymous #1

Re: TIP don't be the good guy. [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #28510691 - 10/19/23 03:03 PM (3 months, 8 days ago)

I'm 100% only worried that by not taking part in what she was wanting to have, I pushed her further out. I'm a lover not a one time fucker.

A lot more has gone down, she is currently being held some where for mental health assesment.
I should have fucking never took that day off, it was bad, lucky they didn't spray the car with bullets bad. But on the same coin she needs the help she is about too get.


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Anonymous #4

Re: TIP don't be the good guy. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28510731 - 10/19/23 03:35 PM (3 months, 8 days ago)

Quote:


I'm 100% only worried that by not taking part in what she was wanting to have, I pushed her further out. I'm a lover not a one time fucker.




Then, what was supposed to happen, after that one time.

I see that you want to be humane, but you can't rescue them all.


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Anonymous #5

Re: TIP don't be the good guy. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28524119 - 10/30/23 11:26 PM (2 months, 27 days ago)

Based off your title, I’m gonna disagree.

There is a degree to which women like an aggressive man.
But that’s about being assertive. Not about being actually aggressive.
When engaged in physical activities…
Women do want somebody who is assertive typically.
But nobody wants to deal with an aggressive asshole.
Negging does not work. It’s emotional abuse.
You will get a relationship using this. But it will be an unhealthy, toxic relationship.

Relationships should be built on love and trust.

Not based off of not being nice.



Edited by Anonymous (10/31/23 12:36 PM)


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Anonymous #4

Re: TIP don't be the good guy. [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #28524369 - 10/31/23 08:43 AM (2 months, 27 days ago)

I've had a B-type threaten suicide.

I don't have any problems just flatly saying what I want, in a pragmatic, non-heated way.

For all intents and purposes, it should be flattering to me to have someone that invested in pleasing me, if i wanted to be macho about this. That is someone desperate for my attention.

Except, the way this turns out, is they threaten self harm, to get their way.


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Anonymous #6

Re: TIP don't be the good guy. [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #28524479 - 10/31/23 10:47 AM (2 months, 27 days ago)

#1 and #2 seem very familiar

:puppet:


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Anonymous #7

Re: TIP don't be the good guy. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28524506 - 10/31/23 11:16 AM (2 months, 27 days ago)

That is a challenging situation.
I understand your stance.
I hope someone helps her or you get in a position or a situation arises that you or someone else can guide her to seek help.
There is a part of me that questions if she is safe, and her spouse is supporting her. Is she ok? Medications are rough. Hospitalization and medication can be just as traumatizing as not seeking help.
I feel for you, it is difficult being in that position. But your empathy shows. :smile:


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Anonymous #1

Re: TIP don't be the good guy. [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #28541094 - 11/13/23 04:23 AM (2 months, 14 days ago)

She is ok living in a hotel. Hubby filed for full custudy of kids and got it. I'm at the point I can't take it so stepped out. I'm here if she needs me, But this isn't going too end well. She had random homless ppl chilling with her. Sad shit, I've seen meth heads land softer than her. She will end up hurt and abused by someone if she ain't careful.


Edited by Anonymous (11/13/23 04:26 AM)


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