Home | Community | Message Board

Cannabis Seeds - Original Sensible Seeds
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: PhytoExtractum Kratom Powder for Sale, Maeng Da Thai Kratom Leaf Powder   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals, CBD Concentrates

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | Next >  [ show all ]
Invisiblebirdeatingspider
Stranger in Paradise
 User Gallery


Registered: 12/18/14
Posts: 2,986
Loc: so many roads
Suicidal? * 5
    #28537461 - 11/10/23 04:42 PM (2 months, 16 days ago)

Edit- In the light of day I am wondering if this should be moved to the suggestions for site sub*

I understand there is a subthread for suicide prevention, but it doesn't get used.. 2 years and no one has needed help? A couple of the names in that thread were prominent posters who are suddenly gone.

In honor of Max, who had great aspirations when creating, stickying the thread might be of better outreach:

A new and disoriented, intoxicated, and/or desperate shroomerite could find it when seconds count, and more people would know this even exists and be encouraged to participate.


--------------------

From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.


Edited by birdeatingspider (11/11/23 01:17 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OnlineGenesisCorruptedS
Taoist, Writer, Student, Artist
Male Unread Journal User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/01/23
Posts: 7,180
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 6 seconds
Re: Suicidal? [Re: birdeatingspider] * 1
    #28542052 - 11/13/23 09:42 PM (2 months, 13 days ago)

I agree that it should be stickied.


--------------------

Wanna Play? I offer free
Dream Interpretation, Therapy &
GC’s Perfect Day Ayahuasca Recipe
Shroomery Manual? Click here.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineskOsH
Functionally dysfunctional
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/03/19
Posts: 1,372
Loc: the PNW
Last seen: 1 day, 7 hours
Re: Suicidal? [Re: GenesisCorrupted] * 1
    #28548741 - 11/19/23 05:16 AM (2 months, 8 days ago)

I'm definitely suicidal. Pretty much every day. I don't know how to stop it, I've been on every psychiatric medication under the sun, I've seen therapists, and I just know what they're going to say, before they say it, so that doesn't help.

I don't really know what to do. I don't really have friends. The ones I used to have, were kinda shitty friends, who just used me, and one of them tried strangling me to death. That one, for some reason, keeps trying to get a hold of me to "Hang out"

Fuck no, that guy wanted to kill me!

I had a different guy who wanted to kill me. He could have blown my brains out, or killed me in any number of ways. I was scared, probably could have beat him up, but that's if he wasn't armed. Some pathetic 40 something picking on a 19yo at the time. Well...that guy certifiably ruined my life. I really hope he's dead, or that he feels horrible about that incident, every...single...day. no one came to help me.

I believe in forgiveness for most things, but I'll never forgive this guy. He traumatized me in front of his 8yo son at the time. So appropriate.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleAsante
Mage
Male User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,795
Re: Suicidal? [Re: skOsH] * 2
    #28548786 - 11/19/23 06:55 AM (2 months, 8 days ago)

Quote:

skOsH said:

I don't really know what to do.




What helped me, in boundless misery, was God. Not from a book or from other people, but from my innermost self, out to me.

You have that too. Part of you is the Almighty, connect and your cup will be filled from within.





This is a contract that God cast into the world through me, a selfexplanatory way in which you can awake the Highest in you to connect with you consciously.

Its an inner connection, i can't stress this enough.

I think it will help you.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineskOsH
Functionally dysfunctional
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/03/19
Posts: 1,372
Loc: the PNW
Last seen: 1 day, 7 hours
Re: Suicidal? [Re: Asante]
    #28549134 - 11/19/23 12:19 PM (2 months, 8 days ago)

Quote:

Asante said:
Quote:

skOsH said:

I don't really know what to do.




What helped me, in boundless misery, was God. Not from a book or from other people, but from my innermost self, out to me.

You have that too. Part of you is the Almighty, connect and your cup will be filled from within.





This is a contract that God cast into the world through me, a selfexplanatory way in which you can awake the Highest in you to connect with you consciously.

Its an inner connection, i can't stress this enough.

I think it will help you.




I think I am too scared of the past trauma to even do anything right now. I keep trying to do exposure based therapy, but it is not producing the results I would like


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OnlineGenesisCorruptedS
Taoist, Writer, Student, Artist
Male Unread Journal User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/01/23
Posts: 7,180
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 6 seconds
Re: Suicidal? [Re: skOsH] * 1
    #28549138 - 11/19/23 12:26 PM (2 months, 8 days ago)

It can seem overwhelming. Just make small goals for yourself that can be realized.
Once you realize that these things can change. Once you start feeling that change. Your momentum will start building.

Now you are on this site.
Have you tried using psychedelics with the intention of getting rid of trauma?

Because I know that DMT in particular. Has the ability to allow us to objectively view a trauma. And without all of our memories and associations attached. It’s much easier to let go of some of these traumatic events that have happened in our lives.

Ego death is an incredibly therapeutic experience. You would just have to be extra careful to experience it. Because you’re in a particularly vulnerable position.
But the potential for therapy Is enormous.


--------------------

Wanna Play? I offer free
Dream Interpretation, Therapy &
GC’s Perfect Day Ayahuasca Recipe
Shroomery Manual? Click here.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblebirdeatingspider
Stranger in Paradise
 User Gallery


Registered: 12/18/14
Posts: 2,986
Loc: so many roads
Re: Suicidal? [Re: skOsH] * 1
    #28549176 - 11/19/23 01:18 PM (2 months, 7 days ago)

Quote:

skOsH said:
I'm definitely suicidal. Pretty much every day. I don't know how to stop it, I've been on every psychiatric medication under the sun, I've seen therapists, and I just know what they're going to say, before they say it, so that doesn't help.

I don't really know what to do...





Just going to focus on this for now.
Re read what you've written a few times before answering:

Do you want to stop it(being suicidal)?
Not something you need to share, just be real with yourself.

As far as not knowing what to do, don't worry about any of that- to the most that life allows, right now, today. Thats just stuff that quite frankly, is not the same value as you.

Just really think and decide, if nothing else was wrong in my life, would I still want to not be here?

And if PTSD walls are protecting you with that layer of stuff plaguing your mind, than stop. Because that is simply where I highly feel EMDR could help.

Psychedelics can be the answer, but truly feel a therapist should be in the mix when it comes to unresolved PTSD. At least to start out.

Would you be open to journaling?


--------------------

From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleGray Hound
Trash
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/24/21
Posts: 161
Re: Suicidal? [Re: birdeatingspider]
    #28550571 - 11/20/23 04:54 PM (2 months, 6 days ago)

Suicide would be cool.

But unlike alot of other people.

I havnt been able to pull the trigger. ( few times something showed up and turned things around when i was sure i was going to )

I wish there was a safe space i could talk about it more.

As the saying goes. What doesnt kill me. Makes me stronger?
Feel like that all im here for. Is suffering and pain.
For what. Hate towards life, humanity, and all its inhabitant existence. 

I also hate hearing all this talk about "standing up for one another"
"care for your fellow beings"
I dont see that shit a day in the light of my actual life.
Im pretty sure the saying is squeeze the shit out of your comrades and associates until it just bleeds out.
I've exhausted over 30 or so jobs. and it just felt like a war between me and the world. Aint nobody lookin out for me out there. and if there is, i am already damned. Damned in my actions and my doings. Ive tried it all. Honestly, lieing, Cheating, Stealing, Over-extending, under-extending, Loving, Excelling, Being better, Being less, Surrender, Fighting, Every fucking thing i do, Is sure to end up as a failure.


Do you want to stop it(being suicidal)?
Not something you need to share, just be real with yourself.

Its like something deep inside me believes i need to suffer and go through pain. but i am doing everything i can to fight that void, that evil, and that belief. but its like that inside void shows up on the surface of the world, and in other people. already 2 steps ahead of me.

Pretty sure ive tried everything, and none of it is working. the only thing that is working. is working against me. thats the only thing that works.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OnlineGenesisCorruptedS
Taoist, Writer, Student, Artist
Male Unread Journal User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/01/23
Posts: 7,180
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 6 seconds
Re: Suicidal? [Re: Gray Hound]
    #28550574 - 11/20/23 05:01 PM (2 months, 6 days ago)

We can talk in my office if you’re comfortable. If you don’t want anything written down. We can go through PM.

I would need more details, of course.

But this applies to anyone in this thread.


--------------------

Wanna Play? I offer free
Dream Interpretation, Therapy &
GC’s Perfect Day Ayahuasca Recipe
Shroomery Manual? Click here.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleGray Hound
Trash
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/24/21
Posts: 161
Re: Suicidal? [Re: GenesisCorrupted]
    #28550605 - 11/20/23 05:34 PM (2 months, 6 days ago)

No offense. I just dont do good with kindness. I feel totally blocked off to it. I feel blocked off to most everything anyways... so its really no bias.
Kinda wild to write a Pitty story about me and deny kindness? isnt it?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OnlineGenesisCorruptedS
Taoist, Writer, Student, Artist
Male Unread Journal User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/01/23
Posts: 7,180
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 6 seconds
Re: Suicidal? [Re: Gray Hound]
    #28550611 - 11/20/23 05:37 PM (2 months, 6 days ago)

We could just talk.

I just wanted to offer it.


Edited by GenesisCorrupted (11/23/23 11:24 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: Suicidal? [Re: Gray Hound] * 1
    #28550632 - 11/20/23 05:49 PM (2 months, 6 days ago)

Keep talking
Im listening


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: Suicidal? [Re: skOsH] * 1
    #28550635 - 11/20/23 05:51 PM (2 months, 6 days ago)

Quote:

skOsH said:
I'm definitely suicidal. Pretty much every day. I don't know how to stop it, I've been on every psychiatric medication under the sun, I've seen therapists, and I just know what they're going to say, before they say it, so that doesn't help.

I don't really know what to do. I don't really have friends. The ones I used to have, were kinda shitty friends, who just used me, and one of them tried strangling me to death. That one, for some reason, keeps trying to get a hold of me to "Hang out"

Fuck no, that guy wanted to kill me!

I had a different guy who wanted to kill me. He could have blown my brains out, or killed me in any number of ways. I was scared, probably could have beat him up, but that's if he wasn't armed. Some pathetic 40 something picking on a 19yo at the time. Well...that guy certifiably ruined my life. I really hope he's dead, or that he feels horrible about that incident, every...single...day. no one came to help me.

I believe in forgiveness for most things, but I'll never forgive this guy. He traumatized me in front of his 8yo son at the time. So appropriate.



Im listening


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 1 day, 5 hours
Re: Suicidal? [Re: Gray Hound] * 2
    #28551062 - 11/21/23 04:52 AM (2 months, 6 days ago)

Quote:

Gray Hound said:

Feel like that all im here for. Is suffering and pain.

... it just felt like a war between me and the world.

... i am already damned. Damned in my actions and my doings.

... Every fucking thing i do, Is sure to end up as a failure.

... Its like something deep inside me believes i need to suffer and go through pain

... the only thing that is working. is working against me.




Can you see how angry, aggressive, and violent you feel towards your self?  It can be challenging to practice self compassion. If the term "self compassion" sounds stupid to you, that's simply a symptom of self loathing - one of the most common forms of human suffering.  Take care of yourself.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblefeeversM
Male


Registered: 12/28/10
Posts: 8,546
Loc: Flag
Re: Suicidal? [Re: birdeatingspider] * 1
    #28554347 - 11/23/23 07:26 PM (2 months, 3 days ago)

Quote:

birdeatingspider said:
In honor of Max, who had great aspirations when creating, stickying the thread might be of better outreach:

A new and disoriented, intoxicated, and/or desperate shroomerite could find it when seconds count, and more people would know this even exists and be encouraged to participate.




I really like this idea, my only hesitation is with JSB's wording of his OP in the thread-


Quote:

A place where Shroomery members can seek council and get talked down from the ledge




Suicidal ideation is often an acute crisis, this site and more particularly this specific subforum just don't have the traffic to respond to these situations consistently in real time... not to mention the training or expertise to do so effectively.

I do really like the idea of the JSB thread being the one that's stickied, but I'm not sure it can ever serve the purpose an alternative to a suicide hotline or crisis textline. The last thing I would want if I was in that state of mind is to post something to a thread and then see no one respond to it for hours on end while I continue to spiral

I do think it could serve a purpose as a support thread for people with suicidal thoughts, but on a less acute and more longer-term community support level. That would probably require an edit of his OP. Anyone have any thoughts on how to update the OP to better summarize the goal of the thread?

He already posted the # for the suicide hotline in the second post in the thread, I was thinking of just editing the second post with the crisis textline number as well and to say something along the lines of call/text this number if you are at imminent risk and have a plan to harm yourself or attempt suicide within the next 24 hours


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineKryptos
Stranger
 User Gallery
Registered: 11/01/14
Posts: 12,258
Last seen: 1 day, 1 hour
Re: Suicidal? [Re: feevers] * 1
    #28554473 - 11/23/23 09:49 PM (2 months, 3 days ago)

Maybe having like a discord or something. Something that is more actively monitored by the community would help more.

Problem is, as you said, one of training. I've participated in a few threads when I felt like my input could be helpful, but there are times where I don't think my input would be helpful. Even though that's probably not true, from an acute suicidal ideation standpoint, where just having someone, anyone, respond would probably be better than nothing.

I think you could reasonably expect a number of people to pass by the thread within a 24 hour period. If a few of them are...for lack of better term, given permission to respond to all such cases, even if they don't feel like they could contribute positively at the time, that would probably help. But you also need the right people. I wouldn't want to say something that makes it worse.

Otherwise, I'd add the basics. Stuff like removing weapons from your home, erecting obstacles to carrying out a plan. I've definitely had moments where the five minute drive to the store to buy the right chemicals was all I needed to stop myself.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblebirdeatingspider
Stranger in Paradise
 User Gallery


Registered: 12/18/14
Posts: 2,986
Loc: so many roads
Re: Suicidal? [Re: feevers] * 2
    #28554480 - 11/23/23 10:05 PM (2 months, 3 days ago)

Totally agree,  feevers-
Tbh, I've found myself hovering over my phone much more since reviving this, in concern of a crisis.

So was thinking a post kinda defining different states of being suicidal.

There is ideation, which is a broad term in itself: you have thoughts of killing yourself. The majority do not act on it, can span decades, a lifetime. And that's who is welcomed, supporting another with more chronic of state.

Sometimes, just commiserating and having others to lean on in tough times makes a world of difference.
As well as the benefits mentioned in my OP.

Those who are feeling this way for the first time would be encouraged to vent/join in, but be made aware that this is not a site dedicate to suicide prevention, and unless otherwise asserted,  the responses will not be from trained professionals.
If someone is 'on the ledge', they must seek help.

Is it possible to code a banner in with the hotline?
Or a disclaimer like in WCA but more prominent.

Long term feelings of wanting to move on, for a variety of reasons- leaves a person feeling pretty destitute and empty. Company that experience and understand eases that.
There is a wisdom that could potentially comfort someone feeling suicidal as a new burden.

If an acute situation were to arise, the emergency information should be in red, front and center with a message to call.
Otherwise, posting in the sticky will alert a plethora of mindful, sensitive members who would pick it up sooner than if a member created their own thread, would imagine?
I took a step back to see what kind of traffic this got since bumping. My plan was to always check this thread first, and would imagine others would be willing and wanting to help.


--------------------

From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblefeeversM
Male


Registered: 12/28/10
Posts: 8,546
Loc: Flag
Re: Suicidal? [Re: Kryptos] * 1
    #28554505 - 11/23/23 11:03 PM (2 months, 3 days ago)

The discord idea would fill the gap where the forum software lacks, real time/push updates when someone posts. It would be limiting though as many people don't use discord, I personally haven't dabbled much in it. It would also raise the expectation that someone could get real-time assistance or support, when I just don't think that's something that shroomery is designed to provide

I'm a trained crisis counselor and in the past have worked with the crisis textline as well as on an in-person crisis de-escalation teams, one key aspect to both is having some degree of access to a person's personal information (phone number, location, name etc.) should things ecalate and a call to first responders needs to be made. It happens quickly and that's not something we're set up for here, as admins would need to be at the ready with an IP address that likely wouldn't end up being very useful

I like the idea of stickying JSB's thread, with an edit to his OP front and center in red defining the goal of the thread and resources for those who are in acute crisis and need immediate help. Maybe this thread could be used to draft up what that would look like, with strategies along the lines of what Kryptos mentioned as well the contact information for all the relevant resources


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #2

Re: Suicidal? [Re: birdeatingspider] * 1
    #28554519 - 11/23/23 11:24 PM (2 months, 3 days ago)

I was going to post this is another thread but then just decided to add it to my personal notes and delete it... but maybe it can help u idk. It sucks because online u can try help someone and share what helped with u personally but then they try replicate it in their own life and the shit hits the fan.
I don't want you to have brown walls my friend.

---
I can't attribute this to shrooms unfortunately because I did not have access to them when I was younger and "severely depressed". I found something else that was categorized as a psychadelic dissociative at the time. I'm not going to name the substance because I can only view it as a dirty chemical now. Although it was a bad chemical I learned this on, shrooms offers a much cleaner experience identical to this.


You know when you drink too much alcohol and you throw your arms around the toilet and hurl your lungs out? You swear up and down that you'll never touch alcohol again. And you mean it and believe your words...at least for a few hours or a day.

When you are suicidal and want to die its something similar. You THINK you want to die, you BELIEVE you want to die. But I think you just want to escape the situation you feel trapped and stuck in

That's what my depression was always caused by. Finding myself in a situation I couldn't escape from, and surviving in it long enough that u lose all hope of it ever getting better. The fog of war just surrounds the mind and strangles it.

There is something refreshing to me to take a high uncomfortable dose and experience the death of my own soul. Much rather test the waters of death temporarily. Squirm and writhe around on the floor, vomit, cry, get stuck in an endless loop of mental torture, hate ur own existence, beg for mercy, beg for another chance. It gets so bad and then like magic the chemical eases it's grip on ur mind. Just enough that u can be so relieved. So grateful that this awful experience is coming to an end.

I find it so calming coming out of a "bad trip" having faced such horrors of the mind.  It puts things into perspective for me.

If you can safely experience enough of these bad trips over a longer period of time... it can help to drown out some of the pain behind your depression. But first look inwards to find out WHY you are depressed to begin with

When your loved one dies, or if u are sexually assaulted, or if u are in a terrible car accident, or if your mate gets torn a part in front of u. I feel like it hurts so bad because it's such a big trauma. Such a shock of the mind.

There is a benefit to have a lot more of these smaller bad trips to obfuscate the mind a little. Dilute the waters in a safer way. Take a bit of that power away from such shitty memories that may bother u.


And once you no longer fear the 'bad trips', it becomes a lot easier to have good ones.


Some situations that cause depression you can escape from; not earning enough money, not eating healthy, being overweight, being addicted. These are ones that u have control over but u just haven't figured out the way yet

Some situations you can't control, like a death, a rape, a loss of all possessions suddenly, held up at gun point. You can't change these ones, but you CAN change your understanding of them in the greater scheme of things.

But we need to find out why, why are you depressed. Was there ever a time that you WERE happy?

If so what changed?

If you have never been happy, who/what got in the way of that?


---------
PS. If you ever pursue ego death via shrooms it is EXTREMELY important to;

1. Not drink alcohol before during or after your trip.

2. Eat healthy. I'm talking at least 7 different colors of vegetables or a salad as soon as u start coming down. And continue eating these veggies every meal. I'm a big fan of this type of broccoli bacon salad mix from the shop. So good

3. Drink Water only. And not like 3 sips and then say "ah, that'll do" every time u pee ur pee should be water colored. Not yellow or dark
---‐---

Reason; you don't want to be depressed and then have to deal with such mental fatigue the next day. Idk about yall but if I don't take care of my body it can take like 3 days to feel "normal" again as apposed to 1 day when hydrating and eating healthy.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OnlineGenesisCorruptedS
Taoist, Writer, Student, Artist
Male Unread Journal User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/01/23
Posts: 7,180
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 6 seconds
Re: Suicidal? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28554520 - 11/23/23 11:26 PM (2 months, 3 days ago)

I really appreciate you posting this comment.
Sincerely, GC


--------------------

Wanna Play? I offer free
Dream Interpretation, Therapy &
GC’s Perfect Day Ayahuasca Recipe
Shroomery Manual? Click here.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | Next >  [ show all ]

Shop: PhytoExtractum Kratom Powder for Sale, Maeng Da Thai Kratom Leaf Powder   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals, CBD Concentrates


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Psychedelics and suicide Anonymous 124 4 12/13/23 06:03 AM
by Anonymous
* fighting my social anxiety....
( 1 2 all )
shr00m 7,506 28 06/23/03 05:06 PM
by Anonymous
* How to respond to a suicidal person
( 1 2 3 4 5 all )
tomk 41,490 92 03/08/13 12:50 AM
by Grizzlysnizzly
* Contemplating Suicide daba 1,821 7 05/20/03 08:34 PM
by daba
* suicide selfish??
( 1 2 3 4 all )
KristiMidocean 17,927 68 04/11/17 08:45 PM
by Sindyana
* Social Anxiety from HELL
( 1 2 3 4 all )
XUL 8,020 61 08/18/13 01:31 PM
by nhmi
* Suicide
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 all )
Locus 16,102 143 03/28/06 08:07 PM
by Liz
* Suicidal thoughts... *DELETED*
( 1 2 all )
Druginduced 4,952 23 11/20/04 10:12 PM
by Druginduced

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: CherryBom, Rose, mndfreeze, yogabunny, feevers, CookieCrumbs, Northerner
739 topic views. 1 members, 0 guests and 5 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.035 seconds spending 0.01 seconds on 17 queries.