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GenesisCorrupted
Taoist, Writer, Student, Artist




Registered: 08/01/23
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Bad Father’s (Therapy) 1
#28525945 - 11/01/23 09:42 PM (2 months, 25 days ago) |
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https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/28496228#28496228
I have talked about him a bit on this site.
But I don’t understand how somebody can be that bad.
I think this could be incredibly therapeutic if we discuss what these people have done. Maybe we could stop trying to justify forgiving them. Maybe even decide to cut these toxic people out of our lives in certain cases. Hopefully we can learn how to fogive.
Feel free to share. This is probably going to get pretty dark. So before anyone reads too far, just know that there are fathers out there that are absolutely monstrous.
Sincerely, Genesiscorrupted
Edited by GenesisCorrupted (11/25/23 08:12 PM)
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ReynardTheFox
Stranger



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True that. I'm not even gonna say what my dad has done cuz like...I literally can't lol. Good thread though
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thirdeyewild



Registered: 11/01/13
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Had a complete literal psychopath as a father. One time he sat on me and smashed my face into the floor repeatedly until I was unconscious, I woke up in a pool of my own blood and he was still smashing my face into the floor screaming at me. Eventually made me homeless as a child for smoking pot. It was the only thing that made life bearable. He taught marketing at a university, his students dubbed him the sociopath of marketing because he was such a fucking underhanded piece of shit. So many memories of being thrown to the floor and kicked in the stomach until I puked then having my face smashed into my own vomit. Would watch over all home work and if I made a mistake he would tear up my work and make me start over, even if I could fix it without spoiling the paper. If I protested he would beat the living shit out of me. Then would whip me with a belt for making him angry enough to beat me. Cause you know , his anger issues were my fault apparently. If I didn't get a B average I was whipped and socially isolated. To this day I feel like I can't do anything good enough even though I know it was his toxic shit that made me feel that way. I'm tortured by self doubt. He tried to get my kids taken away because I wouldn't let him near them. He lives fat while I struggle and he judges me for it. I dedicate my time to helping people because it makes my life feel meaningful. I'm fine with being poor, unsuccessful in his eyes. I make a difference in people's lives and I'm not filled with hate.
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GenesisCorrupted
Taoist, Writer, Student, Artist




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It sounds like you’ve done a great job trying to survive the abuses you suffered. You managed to make children that aren’t going to be like him. You succeeded. Keep doing your best and I’m sure your kids are gonna be a lot better off than you ever were. I appreciate your response. You should never let him see those children. He can’t do anything but hurt them. Sincerely, Genesiscorrupted
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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,797
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When I was 7 I was given a letter to sign that acknowledged my misbehaviour was what led to him leaving for another country.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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GenesisCorrupted
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Re: Worst dad contest (Therapy) [Re: sudly] 1
#28526677 - 11/02/23 02:23 PM (2 months, 25 days ago) |
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It isn’t funny what they did to you.
It is funny that they think any document being signed by a seven year old will hold any water legally speaking.
Any jury on earth that looks at a piece of paper that was signed by a seven year old will probably wonder who made them sign it. Of course that totally depends on what court you’re in. They probably just made you sign that to try and brainwash you into thinking they had some piece of paper they could hold over you.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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this thread ties into the previous generation having a problem with "what is a real man" I might blame advertising for getting it wrong. but it is all of history. especially colonial history.
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GenesisCorrupted
Taoist, Writer, Student, Artist




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Edit: Bo K
Edited by GenesisCorrupted (11/26/23 02:52 AM)
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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,797
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What can I say, he said he'd turn the car around if my brother and I argued again.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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fake information, is not, by nature, truth. ignore away.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,797
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My dad still popped in every now and then throughout my teens and we visited a lot of places around the world, he wanted to teach my some kind of system of making agreements with people to form relationships but it got overly complicated from my view and I ended up leading good communication through my own relationship experiences. No need for the 6 As of acknowledge, accept, agree and 3 other A words.
The biggest thing that ever really stuck was the world experience for one, like seeing third world places first hand, and the idea that others don't make me angry, and that I can choose how to respond, e.g. laughing or crying at an attempted insult.
Some dad's do bad things or aren't there, my dad made some errors, failed businesses etc, learnt from them got back out there and chose to put himself before his relationship that didn't work out.
I know he's better off now, and although I missed having a dad growing up, I had a loving mother who raised us well.
On fathers day I was told not to call him a dad because he wasn't one, throughout it all he's at least been honest with me. But I don't think he's shaped my views or beliefs to a significant amount.
I'm not a reflection of my father or influenced by him. He's just a guy that was in my life sporadicly through my life.
There's comes a point where I can't say he had any influence in my life because he couldn't.
The letter thing was for him to feel better about his decisions.
I think that therapy is someone being open to a third party able to acknowledge or understand specific hardships and to be able to suggest potential future outcomes or takeaways that don't have the personal emotions that may make something a traumatic experience.
In not a therapist, I doubt your a therapist, and I don't think it's the job if a therapist to assume things about people, just to be a neutral place for well rounded feedback.
Toxic masculinity is a real issue many face, not sure what issue you have with rgv related to it, I haven't read the thread you linked originally but I might eventually and see where it goes from there.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: Worst dad contest (Therapy) [Re: sudly] 2
#28527349 - 11/03/23 01:05 AM (2 months, 24 days ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said:...
I think that therapy is someone being open to a third party able to acknowledge or understand specific hardships and to be able to suggest potential future outcomes or takeaways that don't have the personal emotions that may make something a traumatic experience.
In not a therapist, I doubt your a therapist, and I don't think it's the job if a therapist to assume things about people, just to be a neutral place for well rounded feedback.
Toxic masculinity is a real issue many face, not sure what issue you have with rgv related to it, I haven't read the thread you linked originally but I might eventually and see where it goes from there.
I think you have a good grasp of this issue. we should bear in mind that fathers are people too, just like mothers, they screw up occasionally without ill intent. Often they suffer remorse for imperfections that we imagine we might be free from.
Nobody is free of their own ideas of imperfection, and often that is unrealistic. In any case, things turn out as they do from all influences, not just the fathers or the mothers or any other specific kernel of unsatisfactoriness or imperfection.
If we can hold up undistorted mirrors for ourselves and for each other that is best, and that means plain light can reflect and we can share what is in the light according to our viewpoints.
It does not mean we project our favorite theories onto each other and then get frustrated by others' positions. We have to expect others to have different positions and different views.
@GenesisCorrupted This forum is for discussion of views. Start as many threads as you think makes sense, but once it is started, the thread belongs to the forum, not to the OP. The forum has its own rules - it is not a monopoly game, it can continue after you die, after you quit, or after you change your mind about the whole thing.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,797
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How do you say goodbye to your kids after breaking up with their mother after what could have become assualt, but became an accidental self injury instead.
Is there any good way to do it? How do you handle it? How do you tell them you want to leave the country for good? I think he figured out his own way of doing things. I was too young to understand what it meant, my brother always resented it.
I think that does influence the shape of someone growing up, but that there's so much more else to shaping it than that experience alone. What didn't happen doesn't haunt me anymore.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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GenesisCorrupted
Taoist, Writer, Student, Artist




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Re: Bad Father’s (Therapy) [Re: sudly]
#28527655 - 11/03/23 09:38 AM (2 months, 24 days ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: How do you say goodbye to your kids after breaking up with their mother after what could have become assualt, but became an accidental self injury instead.
Just let them know you’re going on holiday. That you want to see them again soon once you’re able to. You need to go spend some time on yourself.
That’s just my suggestion.
Edited by GenesisCorrupted (11/26/23 02:54 AM)
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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You presume incorrectly that my dream was fake, but probably also presume incorrectly that you know how to interpret dreams.
maybe you are good with your own dreams for your own purposes, but I see the makings of a charlattan, and I am not happy to see that going on.
anyway I do not try to undermine you, and I support you when I can, but generally you take yourself too seriously. C'mon, you know that. This is not about me.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,797
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It can be fun to try and interpret dreams, but I think it's like if someone is doing a ritual or spell, and it's more relatable to say they enjoy the ritual, but don't actually expect the effects to realise.
I don't think the complexity of a dream state can adequately be found through verbal means.
I'm rather aware of what cold reading is, and I'm not convinced that dream interpretations are necessarily different.
The interpretations can be relevant in happenstance, but are not expected to be.
I don't know much detail about earth Taoism, but the Tao in warhammer 40k believe in the concept of the greater good, and although they mean well, they are still sometimes tricked by the whims of those like the durakai.
In the end I think some users recognise fluffy interpretations and have less patience in expressing their disagreement. You can try and succeed so many times, but sometimes we just want to sit back and have a giggle.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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GenesisCorrupted
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My work and studies. [Re: sudly]
#28528019 - 11/03/23 03:11 PM (2 months, 23 days ago) |
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The link to Taoism is on my profile. First thing.
The difference between my dream interpretations and cold reading is the psychology and dream interpretation I have studied. RGV can disagree with my education if he wants. But I have done real work in my life to understand the human psyche and dreams people have. They are my personal iterpretations and everyone won’t all agree. Please don’t dismiss my studies as spells again. I take it as an offense. Sincerely, GC
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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,797
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You've studied the psychology of dream interpretation?
I think people can be respected but not that ideas should be.
A personal interpretation of someone else's dream sounds like it discounts the personal interpretation of the individual who had the dream, given their own life history and experience as a background context.
Like I have my own interpretation of last night's dream, but what is yours?
I went to hospital and my mum tried to pick me up to carry me to a room but I said my kidney or lower back hurt, so I walked there myself. I went to hospital because I was talking to a doctor and wasn't able to cognitively perform at a level that is considered independent.
I know what this means to me, so what is your interpretation?
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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GenesisCorrupted
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Re: My work and studies. [Re: sudly]
#28528068 - 11/03/23 03:52 PM (2 months, 23 days ago) |
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This is my interpretation. https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/28528063#28528063 I do ask for more detatils if it seems difficult to understand.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,797
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Dream interpretation might be a personal endeavour, but not something you can assume about someone else.
If you had all the information of their life experience you could maybe have more hits, but the cold reading nature of your approach is apparent to me.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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