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Offlineellamush
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Labels and sexuality * 2
    #28515700 - 10/23/23 06:55 PM (3 months, 4 days ago)

Hi
The more I understand about the world, from meditation, being generally happier, taking mushrooms and expanding my mind, and my own sexual exploration, the more I'm beginning to believe that labels regarding sexuality and preferences are not entirely useful.

This is of course my opinion only, and understand that others find labels extremely helpful in a. Navigating the world and b. Understanding their own identity.

But for me, labels seem to be meaningless as I understand the world as really something that cannot be understood at all. We don't understand what the hell the point of life is do we? And in that sense there are endless possibilities of sexuality. This extends to people's gender too but I do understand that it is useful for most to identify as something. For me I do identify as a female but I also think I could happily live in a world (which is never likely) that does away with the concept of gender in a descriptive social sense. (As a nurse though there is a need and use for describing the genetic and physical sex of a person for health reasons).

Regarding sexuality, I suppose I believe in consensual sex and that is it. I don't really believe in describing something as a "kink" rather than just a preference. Who's to say what's normal or not, as a kink is usually something that is just described as a sexual preference that is not mainstream.

I'd be happy to hear your thoughts.
Please though, try to stay respectful to all people. I like this subgroup of Shroomery but have seen various discussions devolve into bigotry. I respect your opinion if you comment along the lines of "non-hetero relationships goes against my views" or "everyone should accept all forms of sexuality" (IE both sides of the spectrum of argument) and welcome that refrain. But please do so respectfully and with the intention to add the conversation.

Love to you all.


Edited by ellamush (10/23/23 06:57 PM)


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OfflineJewstress
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Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: ellamush] * 1
    #28515905 - 10/23/23 08:44 PM (3 months, 3 days ago)

God is Love

Love is an action.

Verb. Not a noun.

Not a label.


--------------------


πŸ˜‡


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,339
Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: ellamush] * 1
    #28516598 - 10/24/23 01:39 PM (3 months, 3 days ago)

I completely agree.
The older I get I lean towards I don't give a shit what you do as long as it is consensual, of age and you feel respected.
Life is on a spectrum.
I just don't care as long as everyone is respected and happy.
Orgasams for all!!


--------------------
β€œOne doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,670
Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: ellamush] * 1
    #28517298 - 10/25/23 01:23 AM (3 months, 2 days ago)

Quote:

ellamush said:
Regarding sexuality, I suppose I believe in consensual sex and that is it. I don't really believe in describing something as a "kink" rather than just a preference. Who's to say what's normal or not, as a kink is usually something that is just described as a sexual preference that is not mainstream.




I think I recognize that line of reasoning, or that epiphany, if you will, but it's been a while since I was at that point - probably some 15 years ago or so. It's an essential step on the way to actually not giving a f*** whether some people find certain sexual traits, behaviors and preferences 'normal'. It really doesn't matter. When it comes to this, you only have to answer to yourself and the people you engage in sexual/kink/whatever behaviors with.

If you feel that you're being judged on the basis of your sexuality, then I'd suggest the following:

1: determine if you're really being judged by others, or if you're actually battling some deeply embedded values in yourself that you may need to get rid of. Sure, there's always someone else who may find that what you're doing/desiring isn't normal, but is it really the other people who bother you, or is it the conflict in yourself? A classic one with women is the conflict between the good girl and the inner slut, with many women finding it liberating to release the latter. But doing so tends to bring out this conflict and it tends to take some (sometimes lots) time to deal with that.

2: if it's really others who judge and it bothers you, seek out other people to associate with who are not judgmental. Fortunately, there's no shortage of sexual weirdos out there and the internet has made it possible to seek them out. Platforms like FetLife really play an essential part in this.

Both processes can be frustrating and challenging, but they can also be lots of fun. Try to seek out the latter and minimize the former.

There's LOTS more I could say on the matter, but let's keep it concise for a change...don't hesitate to reach out with questions etc.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: ellamush]
    #28518318 - 10/25/23 10:02 PM (3 months, 1 day ago)

I think labels are important for understanding someone else's unique, specific sexual preferences. For example, furries like to dress up in expensive, complex animal costumes. Its a very unique sexuality. Not labelling it in some manner seems silly to me because its far beyond a "preference". On the other side of the spectrum is calling someone "vanilla" for liking basic, simple sex. Could be offensive to be called vanilla but I think it also helps describe a person's sexual preferences in a convenient way. Labels are a necessary evil to better understand the people around us. As long as its respectful, Im Ok with labeling.


--------------------
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Offlineellamush
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Registered: 07/31/22
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Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #28518427 - 10/26/23 01:58 AM (3 months, 1 day ago)

Thanks for everyone's input.
It's a really interesting discussion

To reply to Chaos, I agree that it is really up to the individual to embrace labels or not.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: ellamush]
    #28522918 - 10/29/23 11:13 PM (2 months, 28 days ago)

Quote:

ellamush said:
Hi
The more I understand about the world, from meditation, being generally happier, taking mushrooms and expanding my mind, and my own sexual exploration, the more I'm beginning to believe that labels regarding sexuality and preferences are not entirely useful.

This is of course my opinion only, and understand that others find labels extremely helpful in a. Navigating the world and b. Understanding their own identity.

But for me, labels seem to be meaningless as I understand the world as really something that cannot be understood at all. We don't understand what the hell the point of life is do we? And in that sense there are endless possibilities of sexuality. This extends to people's gender too but I do understand that it is useful for most to identify as something. For me I do identify as a female but I also think I could happily live in a world (which is never likely) that does away with the concept of gender in a descriptive social sense. (As a nurse though there is a need and use for describing the genetic and physical sex of a person for health reasons).

Regarding sexuality, I suppose I believe in consensual sex and that is it. I don't really believe in describing something as a "kink" rather than just a preference. Who's to say what's normal or not, as a kink is usually something that is just described as a sexual preference that is not mainstream.

I'd be happy to hear your thoughts.
Please though, try to stay respectful to all people. I like this subgroup of Shroomery but have seen various discussions devolve into bigotry. I respect your opinion if you comment along the lines of "non-hetero relationships goes against my views" or "everyone should accept all forms of sexuality" (IE both sides of the spectrum of argument) and welcome that refrain. But please do so respectfully and with the intention to add the conversation.

Love to you all.




Labels are terrible

To each their own


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Offlineellamush
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Registered: 07/31/22
Posts: 435
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Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28522932 - 10/29/23 11:39 PM (2 months, 28 days ago)

I agree.

For instance, in labelling my current relationship and sexual situation it's easier for me just to describe it than to label it. Firstly because it's fluid, secondly because I actually don't know what it's called, and thirdly if I don't know how the hell would anyone else know.

It's easier just to say "it's complicated" to people not involved and to those involved with me to go into specific detail to ensure they're not confused by certain situations


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OfflineJewstress
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Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: ellamush] * 2
    #28523112 - 10/30/23 07:34 AM (2 months, 28 days ago)

I still don’t understand why people are so concerned with who is fucking who and how they are fucking them and why they put that part of their lives out so publically as a way to say

β€œOmg I can’t tell you how I use my sexual organs to blast an o so you’re attacking me”

β€œOmg you’re the reason I can’t express myself. You all judge me and my choices of blasting how I get instant gratification”

β€œYour infringing on my rights cause I can’t push how gay I am down your throat”

How about.

We just.

All mind our damn business.

And focus on community needs and the fact we all have the same expectations under The Bill of Rights, Constitution, and Declaration of Independence and get our heads back on straight (har har see what I did there).

Shit; everyone has freak fetishes just fucking find a partner that vibes and live your happy lives. If you don’t research cities wirh communities more aligned with your beliefs. You’ll find it


--------------------


πŸ˜‡


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,339
Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #28523191 - 10/30/23 09:33 AM (2 months, 28 days ago)

Quote:

LogicaL Chaos said:
I think labels are important for understanding someone else's unique, specific sexual preferences. For example, furries like to dress up in expensive, complex animal costumes. Its a very unique sexuality. Not labelling it in some manner seems silly to me because its far beyond a "preference". On the other side of the spectrum is calling someone "vanilla" for liking basic, simple sex. Could be offensive to be called vanilla but I think it also helps describe a person's sexual preferences in a convenient way. Labels are a necessary evil to better understand the people around us. As long as its respectful, Im Ok with labeling.



I understand that. But, I also think that is something they can choose to disclose when they are ready.
As opposed to others labeling them.
It just feels very private and intimate to me. I would feel uncomfortable if others discussed me in that way without my knowledge or consent.
But, I am sure they do. :smile:
I don't even know what my label would be honestly.
Not furrie.. but who knows, I have not tried it :smile:


--------------------
β€œOne doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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OfflineBeefSupremeJr
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Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: loladoreen] * 2
    #28524086 - 10/30/23 10:57 PM (2 months, 27 days ago)

intrinsic values are a cheap illusion and gender is meaningless. Nothing actually matters.  the world is caught in a collective feverish nightmare and everyone agrees on what "normal" is because most people cant see past their own nose.

do whatever the fuck you want just dont hurt anybody.


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: BeefSupremeJr]
    #28524421 - 10/31/23 09:42 AM (2 months, 27 days ago)

Quote:

BeefSupremeJr said:
intrinsic values are a cheap illusion and gender is meaningless. Nothing actually matters.  the world is caught in a collective feverish nightmare and everyone agrees on what "normal" is because most people cant see past their own nose.

do whatever the fuck you want just dont hurt anybody.




YES
Completely agree.
I would only add having consent and of age is important.


--------------------
β€œOne doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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OfflineBeefSupremeJr
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Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: loladoreen] * 2
    #28524456 - 10/31/23 10:30 AM (2 months, 27 days ago)

kinda falls under dont hurt anybody


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: BeefSupremeJr]
    #28524463 - 10/31/23 10:35 AM (2 months, 27 days ago)

Quote:

BeefSupremeJr said:
kinda falls under dont hurt anybody




I must of read to fast and missed that.

Agree

but I feel it needs to be said. Many pedophiles have sex with toddlers and justify their actions.

I read to fast, my apologies :smile:


--------------------
β€œOne doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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OfflineBeefSupremeJr
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Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: loladoreen] * 1
    #28524474 - 10/31/23 10:43 AM (2 months, 27 days ago)

I have friends who were those very toddlers.  The long term hurt that it causes cannot be understated.


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: BeefSupremeJr] * 1
    #28524501 - 10/31/23 11:10 AM (2 months, 27 days ago)

I have worked with sex offenders and listening to them justify it... wow

It is lifelong damaging. The trauma extreme.


--------------------
β€œOne doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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OfflineBeefSupremeJr
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Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: loladoreen]
    #28524606 - 10/31/23 01:07 PM (2 months, 27 days ago)

Quote:

loladoreen said:
I have worked with sex offenders and listening to them justify it... wow

It is lifelong damaging. The trauma extreme.




they dont even deserve life. if i could press a botton and they all be magicall rubbed out of existence, id do it and laugh about it.


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: BeefSupremeJr] * 1
    #28525413 - 11/01/23 11:21 AM (2 months, 26 days ago)

I would agree.
I was absolutely horrified and shocked when I learned many have the sex offender title but do not have sex crimes.
It was a tool the prosecutors used. It blew my mind. I would say I was very naive when it came to the legal system.
For example,
man and women up for days, I don't remember how long I just recall it was long.. like over 7 days up on meth.
Get in a fight, she leaves, comes back, they make up, have sex, then get in a fight again. This time physical fight. He does not allow her to leave. She calls 911. Not once did she claim rape or sexual assault.
They arrest him on charges of not allowing her to leave, assault.
Offer him a plea deal, no time if he takes a sex offense charge.
Even with her saying it was consensual. I was flabbergasted. Until I inquired and told it was something they do.
They wanted him off the streets due to the distribution of meth he did.
This was early 2000's.
I had more like that then actual sex offenders.
Mainly because the sex offenders reoffended often. All the time.


--------------------
β€œOne doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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OfflineGenesisCorruptedS
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Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: ellamush] * 1
    #28535009 - 11/09/23 12:48 AM (2 months, 18 days ago)

My label is man,
Sexuality sounds good.☺️
But in all seriousness. I don’t think intimacy needs labels.


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: Labels and sexuality [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #28569426 - 12/05/23 07:45 AM (1 month, 23 days ago)

Quote:

LogicaL Chaos said:

I think labels are important for understanding someone else's unique, specific sexual preferences.




40 years ago, most viewed sexual preference in a fairly causal manner. Nothing to be proud of. But now many people view it as a lifelong commitment - a critical aspect of themselves that never changes.  For example gay people insist they were born gay and will die gay.  Especially when children embrace the "gay" identity, it seems like they are making a lifelong commitment to never consider having an intimate relationship with the other gender. It often feels aggressive.


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