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OfflineJacquesCousteau
Being.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,825
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 5 months, 29 days
My latest musical creation..
    #2852374 - 07/02/04 08:39 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

This is a work in progress.. it's a prototype I put together of a new song. It is the opening two verses.. I've yet to write the chorus. :P

Any criticism, comments, compliments, suggestions welcome.

http://shade.swoo.net/junk/Shade_-_thats_a_stone_groove.mp3

Lyrics, for those that like to read along:

I know,
You celebrate.
you celebrate,
the silence.
as quiet goes.

I'm prone,
to hesitate.
and lay to waste,
my chances.
oh how we've grown..

up so tall..
so ironically,
the gravity,
pulls me down.

A final stall..
as you search for me,
underneath the sea,
and we drown.

--

Why go,
and smother it..
and cover this,
with violins..
and little bows.

I know,
you celebrate.
you celebrate,
the silence.
As quiet goes.

not for song..
but for pageantry,
and the quantity,
gets me down.

Perhaps I'm wrong..
but the vanity,
makes my sanity,
hit the ground.


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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: My latest musical creation.. [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #2852402 - 07/02/04 08:59 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Thats awsome man, hearing you live was even better
you should get a band together or something

never been in this forum before. me takes stroll through MAL


--------------------


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Invisiblespores
haploid
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Registered: 02/19/99
Posts: 2,483
Loc: Washington
Re: My latest musical creation.. [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #2852409 - 07/02/04 09:04 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

cool man, nice stuff, I dig, I dig

I like how the lyrics go 2 sets of 5 lines followed by 2 sets of 4, gives it a kind of off-kilter feel, not so straight ahead.

I wish I could sing, my voice is way low and my range is like 1 octave :lol:, it's pretty sad

violins and little bows, hehe

DH


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,825
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 5 months, 29 days
Re: My latest musical creation.. [Re: spores]
    #2852529 - 07/02/04 10:17 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Thanks guys..

DH- Just in the last like.. 6 months I've learned a lot about singing, and discovered that I was doing it all wrong before.. now I constantly struggle to sing "properly".. sometimes it sounds really good, sometimes it sounds pretty bad. But atleast it's better than before, when it always sounded bad. :laugh:

I can't wait to get ahold of a personal vocal coach.


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OfflineBlastrid
e l e m e n t al i t y
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Registered: 01/14/02
Posts: 3,323
Loc: The Desert
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: My latest musical creation.. [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #2852682 - 07/03/04 12:00 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I like your progression, and your lyrical pattern; it's quite unique.

You're a talented dude, I hope you get to do more with this song, it sort of begs to be finished...

the Melody is as unique as the rhyming pattern and stuff, you did a great job setting all that up...


--------------------
Blas'?trid (bl?s tr?d)
    n.  3rd generation derivitave of a combination of 'bastard' and 'blasted'.  Used as both an insult or an expletive.
    ex.  Blastrid!

Stereopattern  <--My music.


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InvisibleRipple
Ripple
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 21,014
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
Re: My latest musical creation.. [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #2853411 - 07/03/04 07:56 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Very Very nice.........

What was that song I really liked that you did.....well they were all good but the one in the back of your songbook with those really excellent lyrics, that I made you play for us?


--------------------
The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!



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OfflineJacquesCousteau
Being.
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Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,825
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 5 months, 29 days
Re: My latest musical creation.. [Re: Ripple]
    #2853459 - 07/03/04 08:24 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Reveille perhaps.. not sure though.


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
Being.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,825
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 5 months, 29 days
Re: My latest musical creation.. [Re: Blastrid]
    #2853461 - 07/03/04 08:25 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

"it sort of begs to be finished..."

I hope something pops into my head for a chorus soon, on that note.. ;p


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