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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate


Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 6 hours
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Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor?
#28474770 - 09/19/23 09:59 AM (4 months, 7 days ago) |
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Life has been so unpredictable and strange the past four years for me. And now I'm looking around and totally overwhelmed by the huge changes that have happened. I feel that somehow I'm being obliged to live on a path I intuited would be good for me but which is actually way too much for my capabilities. And living in a way that seems it might in many ways be the exact opposite of what I'd choose today if given a fresh start.
Life has never been more complicated, an insane level of complexity and novelty to deal with on a daily basis, compounded by kundalini/post-traumatic stress madness and insomnia.
It often feels like being torn to pieces by cosmic energy when I'm lying in bed. Last night I felt like some kind of ancient dragon was eating me and like I was being crushed by the entire weight of human suffering, with nowhere to turn to escape. I didn't sleep and this morning I felt as totally defeated by life as I've ever felt. It just seems like we have to go through so much pain and misery, again and again, and it's so hard to learn anything that would help avoid any of it, if avoiding it is even possible.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: Lion] 3
#28474814 - 09/19/23 10:33 AM (4 months, 7 days ago) |
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every breath is a new beginning Take refuge in that
no need to resist any energy or dragons, mental contents keep arising (10 times per second) and fading away (usually in 1/3 second) unless we try to grasp it or push it away which makes it recycle.
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Rahz
Alive Again



Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,229
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: Lion] 3
#28474828 - 09/19/23 10:46 AM (4 months, 7 days ago) |
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I've felt that way at times.
Locking down as much predictability as possible can help with the changes and unpredictability.
Clean living quarters, healthy diet, daily exercise, 8 hours of sleep.
It may not seem to address the issue but those things can do a lot to alleviate difficulties in the rest of a day.
Kundalini issues - don't do drugs, belly breathing meditation if meditating, stretching exercises at night before bed, and again; diet, exercise, sleep.
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: Lion] 2
#28474868 - 09/19/23 11:19 AM (4 months, 7 days ago) |
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Life is hard. Get stronger in body & mind to make it seem easier? Next time maybe just let the dream dragon eat you? Imho&e: It's so much simpler & more easily dealt with that way. Not to mention that things tend to go down a lot more smoothly for said metaphorical (or actual hallucination of) dragon.
...while we're at it...
I once (actually, many a time) dreamt that I was literally being chased & then eaten by a large Tyrannosaurus rex, and, one time - mid-act of sinking those hyuge gnarly teeth into my dream body whilst thinking something like: "after all, it's only nature being natural, naturally; plus, I do much the same thing on a daily basis only wrt other species" (or something to that efx) - by then I'd essentially capitulated my own resistance to 'the struggle'.
And, just like that ~ the Trex instantaneously transformed from that of giant, abhorrent, and frighteningly hungry mortal enemy ~ into that of an ally, friend, or loved one ~ which then began talking to me in such unexpectedly different yet friendly, calm way so drastically different to moments before, and, that was doing so in such an extraordinarily ordinary manner that I couldn't help but begin completely laughing my ass off at the absolute absurdity of the entire situation overall...and...in response to my laughter... my then 'newfound dream dino buddy' began to laugh its ass off too - Lmao!  Not one, not two, straight ahead lies the way! 
That experiential switch transformed the entire vibe not to mention natural course or direction of the flow of things. Almost as if like I'd played an Uno-game reversal-card, and, it was super effective!
Moreover, with that, as if after experiencing a diaphanous flash, everything at the time became relatively clear & un-befuddled, too. Then, naturally it dawned that what was seemingly appearing to be happening, was in fact not actually happening at all really besides in an illusory, delusory, and dream-like kinda way - and luckily, that kind of stuff seems to tend to naturally resolve itself anyways.
As weird as that all may or may not sound, truthfully speaking, that is what I find helps when faced with a similar situation containing things unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or frightening, and potentially unexpectedly weird/bizzare in nature.
Especially as it pertains completely natural, more or less ordinary, & relatively healthy hallucinatory phenomena associated with the times shortly before, during, and shortly after that of sleeping/dreaming.
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Ferdinando


Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 3,664
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: redgreenvines] 1
#28474895 - 09/19/23 11:29 AM (4 months, 7 days ago) |
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: every breath is a new beginning Take refuge in that
WOW! so very very good an obviously good time !
-------------------- with our love with our love we could save the world
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Rahz
Alive Again



Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,229
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: Lion] 2
#28474919 - 09/19/23 11:41 AM (4 months, 7 days ago) |
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I once corrected a sleep disorder in a couple days. It can be a rough few days, not recommending, just food for thought.
Set sleep and wakeup times. In bed with lights off at sleep time, no exceptions. No getting out of bed except for bathroom. Out of bed at wakeup time, no exceptions.
I think I got about 2 hours sleep the first couple nights. By day 4 I was falling asleep quickly and getting 8 hours of sleep.
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate


Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 6 hours
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: Rahz] 1
#28475452 - 09/19/23 06:33 PM (4 months, 6 days ago) |
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Replies like these must be why I still come to the Shroomery despite no longer posting frequently. Many thanks to all.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,795
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: Lion]
#28477551 - 09/21/23 10:59 AM (4 months, 5 days ago) |
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Lion, the world is changing, and that includes change within each of us and around each of us.
My guide made this one through me, feel it.
now try to hold onto the peace of the song of the birth of a star, as visually, that star rips peoples worlds apart.
I an tell that whatever DSM-V fits you, the Sared title of Visionary also befits you. you, like me, bear more of the spirit burden of the transformation.
You and I are dolphins trying to expel the plastic bag of other peoples greed from our respiratory system.
My guide alls it "graveyard shift", spiritual cleanup after the war.
Live it but try not to get caught up
Fear is most of your pain.
I use 3mg Melatonin nightly as a sleep aid and nootropic life extension supplement. N-AcO-5-MeO-Tryptamine. totally legal. Pineal gland hormone.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: Asante]
#28479324 - 09/22/23 11:03 PM (4 months, 3 days ago) |
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I stay pinned. Love me some pinnage.
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,797
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: Asante]
#28479398 - 09/23/23 01:47 AM (4 months, 3 days ago) |
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You don't lose effectiveness from the melatonin with consistent use? Is it homeopathic?
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Cory Duchesne
tabernacle


Registered: 10/05/16
Posts: 915
Loc: Nova Scotia
Last seen: 2 days, 20 hours
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: Lion]
#28489988 - 10/02/23 01:16 PM (3 months, 25 days ago) |
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I found ever since 2019 something changed in the social fabric and life became unbearably difficult. Buzz words, cliches and platitudes cover over dysfunctional and unjust social dynamics. I got angry, expressed my anger, and had the police come and take me to the hospital three times since 2019. I was hospitalized for a month for getting angry at the micromanaging approach to guiding and ruling others, (e.g., landlords guiding tenants). I'm at my wits end when it comes to cost of living and keeping any consistent work. So glad I have no children, and yet, the lack of family and work structure is largely part of the pain.
-------------------- C.G. Jung: "Please remember, it is what you are that heals, not what you know." "I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud." - Carl Jung Krishna, as his friends called him, freely admitted his compulsive lying. He blamed it on simple fear of having his deceptions detected." NOTES OF A FRINGE-WATCHER MARTIN GARDNER on J Krishnamurti "All your questions are born out of the answers you already have. Any answer anybody gives should put an end to your questions. But it does not." [UG-K]
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: Cory Duchesne]
#28490011 - 10/02/23 01:51 PM (3 months, 25 days ago) |
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so from this set of comments the takeaway can be that lots of people suffer incredibly deeply and personally.
some are dealing more conformantly than others.
it is as if how we say what we mean is much more engagingly useful than what we say. "The medium is the message" (-Herbert Marshall McLuhan), and that is not just a contemporary problem of conformity and uniqueness.
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate


Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 6 hours
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: Cory Duchesne]
#28490615 - 10/03/23 06:24 AM (3 months, 24 days ago) |
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Quote:
Cory Duchesne said: I found ever since 2019 something changed in the social fabric and life became unbearably difficult. Buzz words, cliches and platitudes cover over dysfunctional and unjust social dynamics. I got angry, expressed my anger, and had the police come and take me to the hospital three times since 2019. I was hospitalized for a month for getting angry at the micromanaging approach to guiding and ruling others, (e.g., landlords guiding tenants). I'm at my wits end when it comes to cost of living and keeping any consistent work. So glad I have no children, and yet, the lack of family and work structure is largely part of the pain.
The people who rule the world are insane and evil in equal measure, and many people are willing and happy to help them obscure their crimes with the vacuous language of progress and dynamism. We have all been reduced to mere commodities but some of us have to be given the illusion of being 'citizens' with 'rights' for reasons of historical circumstance. The illusion won't need to be upheld once the memory of how things were before is dead. It's a just cause for anger.
The preference I affirm to myself is to live a simple life close to 'nature' or at least to the 'outdoors' (subjugated nature), and to retire from the dramas of relationships and intense involvement in society. But life seems to be taking me in totally the opposite direction so I conclude I'm not really in control.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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Cory Duchesne
tabernacle


Registered: 10/05/16
Posts: 915
Loc: Nova Scotia
Last seen: 2 days, 20 hours
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: Lion] 1
#28490796 - 10/03/23 09:34 AM (3 months, 24 days ago) |
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I've got a long walk ahead of me. I do a lot of walking to make ends meet. I once shared a vehicle and drove into work or school everyday to work full time hours. I could use the car to go to restaurants and movies. The freedom I had in my earlier days of life is staggering in contrast to the narrow and constrained options that are now before me. It seems in old age I've gradually lost access to a car and what's left is just my feet and pockets. Right now I'm about to walk over to the pharmacy to get some sleeping medication and then I'll be walking 20 or so minutes up to the Employment office to look for work. I definitely have depression caused by too much stimulation in my younger days. An earlier life of supernormal stimulus extinguished / withdrawn and replaced by a crushing isolation and lets face it; poverty.
-------------------- C.G. Jung: "Please remember, it is what you are that heals, not what you know." "I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud." - Carl Jung Krishna, as his friends called him, freely admitted his compulsive lying. He blamed it on simple fear of having his deceptions detected." NOTES OF A FRINGE-WATCHER MARTIN GARDNER on J Krishnamurti "All your questions are born out of the answers you already have. Any answer anybody gives should put an end to your questions. But it does not." [UG-K]
Edited by Cory Duchesne (10/03/23 09:35 AM)
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: Cory Duchesne]
#28490876 - 10/03/23 10:58 AM (3 months, 24 days ago) |
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well at least you got in more than 6000 steps today
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jack_straw2208
Doctor



Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 3,115
Loc: Earth
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: redgreenvines] 1
#28491273 - 10/03/23 05:41 PM (3 months, 23 days ago) |
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I really think that crushing dragon feeling is an intrinsic part of the human experience, maybe even consciousness in general. Could be PTSD from birth?
There seems to be tried and true methods to shifting ones perspective of those wavelengths but the sustainable ways are more difficult than simply watching the walls close in. No matter how much it doesn't seem like it, you're gonna eventually phoenix your way into a fresh set of challenges. You've already done it more times than you can remember.
Another thing that I heard is when it seems darkest is when you're 3 days from making solid ground. I think it might be like, out brains resetting, moving the furniture around for improved Feng shui, can be worse than gridlock when in the thick of it though.
It's all an illusion anyway.
-------------------- If you can’t tell what you desperately need, it’s probably sleep.
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 3 minutes, 35 seconds
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: jack_straw2208]
#28491389 - 10/03/23 07:14 PM (3 months, 23 days ago) |
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I ponder this sensation of feeling as if I'm being crushed or attacked. Sometimes the way it unfolds makes me suspect it's rooted in self-aggression, and my mind is playing charades with itself, pretending the attack is coming from outside when it's not.
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate


Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 6 hours
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: Cory Duchesne]
#28491680 - 10/04/23 04:29 AM (3 months, 23 days ago) |
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Quote:
Cory Duchesne said: I've got a long walk ahead of me. I do a lot of walking to make ends meet. I once shared a vehicle and drove into work or school everyday to work full time hours. I could use the car to go to restaurants and movies. The freedom I had in my earlier days of life is staggering in contrast to the narrow and constrained options that are now before me. It seems in old age I've gradually lost access to a car and what's left is just my feet and pockets. Right now I'm about to walk over to the pharmacy to get some sleeping medication and then I'll be walking 20 or so minutes up to the Employment office to look for work. I definitely have depression caused by too much stimulation in my younger days. An earlier life of supernormal stimulus extinguished / withdrawn and replaced by a crushing isolation and lets face it; poverty.
That sounds very difficult. I haven't faced such circumstances exactly but I can at least relate to how not having access to a car can shrink your sense of mobility and freedom. And also the heavy weight of isolation, atomization, and loneliness. Hope you'll find work and other connections that will carry you into a better way of living.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate


Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 6 hours
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Re: Does anyone else feel like life is absolutely grappling them to the floor? [Re: jack_straw2208]
#28491906 - 10/04/23 10:22 AM (3 months, 23 days ago) |
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Quote:
jack_straw2208 said: I really think that crushing dragon feeling is an intrinsic part of the human experience, maybe even consciousness in general. Could be PTSD from birth?
There seems to be tried and true methods to shifting ones perspective of those wavelengths but the sustainable ways are more difficult than simply watching the walls close in. No matter how much it doesn't seem like it, you're gonna eventually phoenix your way into a fresh set of challenges. You've already done it more times than you can remember.
Another thing that I heard is when it seems darkest is when you're 3 days from making solid ground. I think it might be like, out brains resetting, moving the furniture around for improved Feng shui, can be worse than gridlock when in the thick of it though.
It's all an illusion anyway.
Good post, Jack Straw.
I once "relived" my birth in a hypnotherapy session. I think we all relive elements of our birth at some level throughout our lives.
Quote:
eventually phoenix your way into a fresh set of challenges
That much seems certain, for as long as I'm here.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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