funny thing about acid and insanity..... you can live your whole life completely fucking insane and never realize it and just think that evryone else is an asshole who picked on you or called you names your whole life.... then when you take acid, you start to see that all your friends were imaginary... and the people made fun of you because youre a weirdo who talks to yourself. and your friends start to say what youre thinking because they are you and just figments of your immagination, then you get scared, so as a defense mechanisim, you have the friends deny ever saying it. and now that the cold truth has set in, nothing is real. you can keep denying it and beleive the life you once had is real... but it isnt easy is it? the worst part is when the immaginary friends start making fun of you too, calling you crazy, messed up. etc. acid opens the door to the truth that our fragile minds cant see. ill bet you got some issues or strange things in your past that you are afraid to face. you can deny it to me, but denying to yourself will only bring the crazies full force. heres a tip, dont be afraid to be crazy, worry more about your self-image. love yourself, be positive and honest.
evrybody is fucked up in someway. some people act all aloof and waterproof, but fact is they go home and masturbate with screwdrivers and barbies in their ass and hump their dog and burn things and talk to themselves about people they want to kill, and peek in their neighbors windows, and fight compulsive thoughts and repressed memories, ponder philosophy, cross-dress, rock back and forth laughing, get spontaineosly angry, secretly become alcoholics, contemplate or attempt suicide and become aroused in the process, kill small animals in creative ways, consistantly derail or sabotage their own success to appear victimized, take aggrssions out on loved ones, punch holes in the wall and brad about thir broken knuckle later, cary knives around for protection when they have no enemies, walk around counting each step, being careful to step an even number of times, commit crimes for attention or just pleasure, stalk ex-girlfriends and not realizing it, some people even jump out of planes hmm, now that i think of it, im sitting here thinking of crazy things that people do in the privacy of their own home. IN MY OWN HOME NO LESS. i can think up some doozies if i try. heck, im still grappling with the concept of possibly being god and i stack one hobby after another on myself to keep my mind occupied so i dont think about. i stay indoors most of the time because i dont like the people in this town. and sometimes the TV talks to me. sometimes i cant get up in the mornings because it all just seems fake and pointless.
so as i say EVRYONE is loony-tunes and if they think they arent, the soon will be. because pride breeds grandure. once you notice one of your beleifs isnt widely accepted, or you realize people frown upon your actions, youve got a secret to hide, and it will eat at your consious. and you will become more insane then the people who openly admit their weirdness.
good luck with your brain.id say maybe you shoudl stay off acid, but as youve probably noticed its a little late now, your walls of ignorance have been pulled away and you can see yourself clearly.... few people are ever the same when they truly see themselves for who they are. look at you, you punched a man , struck him because you loved being the victim so much how dare he be a victim around you.
you arent in a mental institution, that beleif is a delusion, meaning maybe you should be in a mental institution, youve already prooved you are irritable and violent. this is not normal, this is problem behavior. they got medicine for you, it will take away the detachment and the aggresion. thats for your safety and the safety of others, coping with your demons however is up to you and your counsellor. or maybe you just need to seem tough so you lied and said you gave a guy a black eye when really you just immagined it and the lie seem harmless and made you look like a bad boy... is that why you take drugs? to be a badboy? doesnt sound like you enjoy them much. certaily doesnt look like you ought to be doing them. but if you dont get over your neurosis soon, your paranoia will develop so that evrytime you hear a strange sound, evrytime something unusual happens evrytime you feel deja vu or a bizzare coincedance happens. you will pannick and go nuts, ive seen it and it aint pretty. all i can sayy thats useful is ger off your crazy ass and go to a doctor, they are their to help and they wont hurt you. :) and if you need to spend a little time in the funny farm for relaxation and to calm down and come back to the world, then thats fine, its really the same as staying in the hospital for the flu. you do get better. and you go on to lead a normal life. good luck
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