|
EternalDreamer
Stranger
Registered: 02/09/20
Posts: 47
Last seen: 23 days, 22 hours
|
Living Alone Happily
#28458763 - 09/04/23 06:56 PM (4 months, 22 days ago) |
|
|
Since I am unable to find a spouse and seem to be unable to attract anyone, I wanted people's advice, for those who live alone. What are things that you do to feel okay with yourself?
My problem is that it makes me feel really dysfunctional and strange. I feel like a stranger in a strange land being partnerless. I mean, by definition, everyone that exists was a product of two partners (well, technically not, given sperm banks, but you get the point...) Wherever I go, I usually see people with partners or families, and there I am enjoying the movies or Chipotle by myself. Isolating feeling, and it definitely hurts.
I have a lot that I like to do by myself, and am mostly a solitary, introspective person, but I really feel weird not having anyone else in my life. It feels like I'm unwanted.
For those who live alone and are in their 30s and up, what do you do to stay happy? How have you come to terms with your singleness?
|
AspectOfTheCreator
Mastering the Art of Success



Registered: 12/07/22
Posts: 1,264
Last seen: 11 minutes, 14 seconds
|
|
Ive been alone off and on all my life. I feel the opposite from you though. I feel like everyone else is crazy. Most relationships that I actually get to see the inner workings of are super dysfunctional. People so insecure and afraid to be by themselves they stay in these shitty relationships plagued by addiction, codependency, restraining orders, abuse, violence, unfaithfulness, cops always at their house, etc etc.
My sisters been with this bum for several years. Hes in prison now because he stole her car while drunk and struck and killed 2 people with it. He doesnt work and just mooches off her. She has a nice house and is independent. I dont understand it. She chooses to stay with him.
I feel like im single solely because I refuse to accept any of this trash. I could go shack up with some dumpster fire if I really wanted to, and sometimes I do until I just get too fed up with the situation. Sure it gets lonely sometimes but its MUCH better than the alternative.
Im blessed to have children I love though and thats my main motivation in life. Maybe id be worse off without them. But yea, thats how I deal with it.
Women come and go. Im in my 30s as well and ive accepted its impossible to find anyone at this age. These chicks now days are all used up by the time theyre 19. 25 or 30? Forget about it. Focus on your career, amass power and wealth so you can dump your misery on other people.
Edited by AspectOfTheCreator (09/04/23 07:33 PM)
|
Patchouli_Savage


Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 712
Loc: Somewhere between here an...
Last seen: 7 hours, 33 minutes
|
|
I'm a single person in my 30s living alone and while it can be isolating at times, I really value having my own space and would not be open to a nesting partner.
Some things I do...
-Arts and crafts -Taking care of my space -Treating my home like an art project -Exploring my neighborhood -Reading -Listening to music and dancing alone -Gardening -Focusing on self growth (exercise, education, etc) -Cooking and baking- trying new recipes -Self care- exfoliate. Moisturize. Taking care of your skin isn't just for girls -I visit with friends and family -I go places like the beach, hiking, etc -Take myself for coffee -I take friends' dogs for walks -Photography -Go on mini vacations (3-5 hours away)
I know what you mean about how it seems like everyone is partnered. I think that partnership is the expectation and the default, and when I feel down about it I remember that I'm not partnered because I'm not settling for relationships that aren't a good fit for me.
It's not worth it to me to be partnered just for the sake of it, so when I'm feeling like I would rather be partnered I ask myself what I feel like I'm missing that a partner would provide, and I find a way to do that for myself.
Other things I do include having a nice luxurious set of bamboo bed sheets, burning lots of incense, and having a good collection of sex toys. I budget 1 massage per month for myself.
I speak positively to myself and have faith in my abilities. I undertake new projects and challenges.
I accept that I'm not for everyone and I'm truly okay with that.
I practice gratitude.
I am building the life for myself that I've always wanted, that many people imagine they would have once they found their "person" except I'm not waiting to find my person, I am finding myself.
Hope this helps.
-------------------- "You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,325
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 23 minutes
|
|
Patchouli_Savage nailed it! Its all the things I do in my spare time. I would just add the use of psychedelics to the list. Nothing like that Psychedelic Healing.

I cherish my rare moments I have with the ladies, even if brief. Ive come to terms with my long-term singleness.
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏
  Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise   Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 |  Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! Shpongle
     
|
nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,555
Loc: Utah
|
|
I was actually pretty happy when I was between relationships, only started dating again because my family and friends started getting weird about it.
I think the key is to find the joy in living alone. It can be really freeing. You can do whatever you want, you don't have to worry about anyone else, don't have to coordinate your plans with them. You just do whatever you want whenever you want. Try to find the joy in that freedom.
Try rearranging your place however you want it. Buy new furniture. Take up some new hobbies that dominate your living space. Spend money on stuff you like to do. Clean your place and keep it clean.
Honestly, living alone is fucking awesome. I seriously enjoy the shit out of it, we give up a lot when we live with someone else, and it's 100% worth making that trade, but I think it's also worth admitting how amazing it is living alone.
It sounds like you're really feeling down about not dating, so do some dating, too. Also get a good therapist who can help you work through your self confidence issues.
|
Dr. Funtime
Wipes Sideways

Registered: 02/04/13
Posts: 134
Last seen: 5 days, 21 hours
|
Re: Living Alone Happily [Re: nooneman] 1
#28458987 - 09/04/23 10:34 PM (4 months, 21 days ago) |
|
|
You are better off alone. Everyone will disappoint, upset, and betray you eventually if given the chance. Keep your guard up and learn to love solitude.
|
jack_straw2208
Doctor



Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 3,115
Loc: Earth
|
|
Get involved in your community!
-------------------- If you can’t tell what you desperately need, it’s probably sleep.
Edited by jack_straw2208 (09/15/23 11:14 PM)
|
thizzlemaniac
राम राम



Registered: 03/27/12
Posts: 2,240
|
|
I read a lot and meditate. Also I have been getting back into writing stand up style comedy. I have 2 cats and I'm hoping to be sober soon. Living alone the silence gets loud sometimes and it's hard to stay sober. Most of the time though I enjoy the silence. Most of the time when I'm around people I can't wait to be alone again. Psychedelics have made me more comfortable with this lifestyle I'm too unique or different to mix with most beyond friendly basic interactions. I'm also super introverted and socially awkward after my time with Psychedelics.
-------------------- Hi how are you? How high are you?
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
And if you get lonely and horny, theres always expensive sex toys.
|
Anonymous #2
|
|
They're called hookers
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Escorts are another option.
|
ManianFH
living in perverty



Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,741
Last seen: 22 hours, 29 minutes
|
|
Quote:
EternalDreamer said: Since I am unable to find a spouse and seem to be unable to attract anyone, I wanted people's advice, for those who live alone. What are things that you do to feel okay with yourself?
My problem is that it makes me feel really dysfunctional and strange. I feel like a stranger in a strange land being partnerless. I mean, by definition, everyone that exists was a product of two partners (well, technically not, given sperm banks, but you get the point...) Wherever I go, I usually see people with partners or families, and there I am enjoying the movies or Chipotle by myself. Isolating feeling, and it definitely hurts.
I have a lot that I like to do by myself, and am mostly a solitary, introspective person, but I really feel weird not having anyone else in my life. It feels like I'm unwanted.
For those who live alone and are in their 30s and up, what do you do to stay happy? How have you come to terms with your singleness?
dude if i were you no joke i would get one of those crazy expensive sex dolls, like the 15K one that talks back and shit. and just slam the shit out of that fake pussy 
IMO you grew up in the perfect time to be single permanently if thats what you want. You can even hook that plastic bitch up to a VR set and fuck her in a different reality. The future my friend, is NOW
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
|
ManianFH
living in perverty



Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,741
Last seen: 22 hours, 29 minutes
|
Re: Living Alone Happily [Re: ManianFH] 1
#28471740 - 09/16/23 10:49 PM (4 months, 9 days ago) |
|
|
Oh also, for the like non-sex lonliness part, just find a group of friends that you hang out with regularly. find some common interest shit and start building upon that. For instance i play magic the gathering with my friends every sunday. one of our friends has been single for the 20+ years ive known him. He seems super happy, i dont really question his love life and just figure hes not interested in one. All of us couldnt care less what he does with his love life so long as hes happy with it, really its none of our fucking business.
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
|
Whyterye



Registered: 02/23/18
Posts: 1,218
Loc: Colorado
|
Re: Living Alone Happily [Re: ManianFH] 1
#28471747 - 09/16/23 11:00 PM (4 months, 9 days ago) |
|
|
A period of isolation is extremely beneficial for growth on all levels if you use it wisely.
Edited by Whyterye (11/12/23 10:46 PM)
|
seldom seen
April Fool



Registered: 11/03/07
Posts: 1,032
|
Re: Living Alone Happily [Re: Whyterye] 2
#28473772 - 09/18/23 01:23 PM (4 months, 8 days ago) |
|
|
Everything everyone else said...and hammer out some tubs while no one is around to fuck it up.
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,325
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 23 minutes
|
|
Great advice in this thread.
The best part of being single is having full-freedom. You can come and go whenever you want! Thats a precious freedom to have.
I find getting deep into hobbies is where its at for the single life. Grow some shrooms, make some art, craft something, create something, travel and learn something interesting. Lots of ways to find happiness outside of loving another person.
And as Manian said, it really helps to have a supportive group of friends.
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏
  Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise   Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 |  Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! Shpongle
     
|
Kryptos
Stranger

Registered: 11/01/14
Posts: 12,262
Last seen: 20 minutes, 4 seconds
|
|
Older I get, the more I relate to those Eminem lyrics:
Bitches they come they go, Saturday through Sunday Monday, Monday through Sunday, yo.
|
Pastywhyte
Say hello to my little friend



Registered: 09/15/12
Posts: 37,808
Loc: Canada
|
Re: Living Alone Happily [Re: Kryptos] 3
#28476803 - 09/20/23 05:57 PM (4 months, 6 days ago) |
|
|
When you can sing along to superman and mean it
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,685
Loc: Raccoon City
|
|
Excellent self care, except go outside enough to get sunburned.
|
theRealrollforever
I DID-DENT



Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,736
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 2 days, 58 minutes
|
|
Living alone happily does not happen to the majority of people, we have evolved to be social creatures in spite of any personality or introverted traits you may feel you have. Denile is not just a river in Egypt.
--------------------
sunshine said: The order has to be secret and no one is sure.
|
|