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OfflineNFLProof
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: Lithop] * 2
    #28470411 - 09/15/23 07:20 PM (4 months, 10 days ago)

Quote:

Lithop said:
So far ITT:
  • Honest positivity is a choice and not always an easy one.
  • It requires commitment and effort to really get used to.
  • Often brought on by our connection to others and the desire to do right by them via deciding to do right for ourself.
  • Can be amplified & becomes successive/self applicaple more readily once it's noticed & appreciated outside of ourselves.
  • A comfort zone and a rut can be the same thing.
  • Positivity doesn't have to exist as the exclusive state, we can try again to reapply it whenever we need. Even on a minute to minute basis.
  • Johnny the kid shreds.

Personally, I choose to try and enact positivity because I find life more managable & rewarding that way- like that old thing of framing as challenges instead of problems- but am also aware of applying it improperly, cheapening its value and lessening its overall effect.
Objective positivity or discerning compassion seems to be more appropriate and sustainable.

Anyway, nice one NFLProof, rockin thread.





A routine can totally be a rut. I've explained that to my wife many times. I explain that routines are comfortable but what has that routine achieved?

I encourage her to have a routine and doing something different. Instead of coming home and vegging out on depressing Netflix for 3 hours veg out in different way. Watch 1 sad episode, 1 sitcom and mix in some music.

I am more compassionate towards myself these days and I do think it's because I'm making a concerted effort to be that way towards others. Not that I didn't value others in the past but making a more intentional effort.


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Yeah, yeah.


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OfflineNFLProof
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: NFLProof] * 2
    #28478020 - 09/21/23 06:57 PM (4 months, 4 days ago)

Yesterday was a struggle but like every other day I'm better off today than I was yesterday and I'll be better tomorrow than I was today.


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Yeah, yeah.


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InvisibleBeano
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Registered: 11/11/06
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: NFLProof] * 2
    #28497462 - 10/09/23 10:26 AM (3 months, 18 days ago)

Checking in.
Hope the past couple of weeks were bearable for you pal


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OfflineNFLProof
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: Beano]
    #28515482 - 10/23/23 04:36 PM (3 months, 3 days ago)

Ty. It's been a real struggle of late. Processing a lot currently.


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Yeah, yeah.


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OfflineNFLProof
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: Beano]
    #28516459 - 10/24/23 11:10 AM (3 months, 3 days ago)

Quote:

Beano said:
Checking in.
Hope the past couple of weeks were bearable for you pal





Sorry I wanted to respond more yesterday but I had logged is mid trip. I had a sudden close family member pass the first of the month. It's been really difficult but some folks are helping me process the information.

I will say I made it a point to find Johnny the Kid from previous posts. It took a few weeks to find him. I know where to find him now which is nice. We spoke again last week. I appreciate you checking in.


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Yeah, yeah.


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Registered: 05/25/20
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: NFLProof] * 1
    #28516589 - 10/24/23 01:27 PM (3 months, 3 days ago)

I love this thread :smile:


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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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OfflineNFLProof
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: loladoreen] * 6
    #28517979 - 10/25/23 05:30 PM (3 months, 1 day ago)

I’d like to actually mention that my biggest help has come from a special few from here. YOU ALL know you who you are and are quite frankly amazing people. This community is rather special. I’ll forever be in debt to many many of you.

So, although I’m not where I was a few weeks in terms of overall happiness , I am happier than I was yesterday.

A reminder, if you’re struggling and want a different view ask me. A lot of you know I’m happy to share my opinion lol.


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Yeah, yeah.


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OfflineNFLProof
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: NFLProof] * 4
    #28532139 - 11/06/23 06:45 PM (2 months, 20 days ago)

Really been working on my self confidence this past week. Grew some today. Had some pretty positive work interactions. Staying busier this past week too. I realized I’m a work list person. I can’t fly by the seat of my pants. I’ve put together a pretty regimented schedule the next 2 weeks.

Hope everyone is well. Thanks for listening folks.


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Yeah, yeah.


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OfflineNFLProof
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: NFLProof] * 1
    #28555271 - 11/24/23 05:19 PM (2 months, 2 days ago)

Despite a lot of loss and depression the past year I have a tremendous amount to be thankful for. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Surprisingly yesterday was quite nice. Each day I am better than the next. I have a lot to be excited for.


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Yeah, yeah.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Proof Positive [Re: NFLProof] * 1
    #28555436 - 11/24/23 08:11 PM (2 months, 2 days ago)

I didn’t do anything at all yesterday.
It’s hard, pretending that’s fine.
Because it’s not fine.
I’m lonely.
And it seems like it’s going to be a struggle to do anything about it.
It’s been hard just trying to carry-on. But I think this website has really helped.
Being able to grow things again like when I was younger has really made me feel a lot better.
Really looking forward to getting my second attempt going. Couple more days.
I also applied for an education loan. Really looking forward to going back into school.
But it is a really hard time of the year for people that don’t have a good relationship with most of their family.
This a great thread.
It’s nice to just be invisible and throw all your pain against the wall and watch it shatter sometimes you know…
(metaphorically.)


Edited by Anonymous (11/24/23 08:16 PM)


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28555529 - 11/24/23 11:06 PM (2 months, 2 days ago)

If you pretend you carry it.
School will be fun. You'll be growing a person and challenged. I hope you go.
Do FAFSA before taking a student loan. Every eligible person gets enough for a bachelor's unless you have dorm or starting over etc on a degree. Take the free money!
Im glad this site fills a void.
It does for many.
Happy you're here.


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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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Anonymous #1

Re: Proof Positive [Re: loladoreen]
    #28555536 - 11/24/23 11:20 PM (2 months, 2 days ago)

I did because our some good advice I got. 😉


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OfflineNFLProof
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28555661 - 11/25/23 06:01 AM (2 months, 2 days ago)

Thank you for sharing. We really appreciate you being here. It’s funny you mentioned being able to grow again, I hope you can see the growth in yourself as well. For me personally I’ve become more and more selective with who I surround myself over the years. I realize now during those big family get together, often retreated and avoided the family drama. There are people that I’ve however, I can still find value, smaller, more caring, setting. Thank you for participating.


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Yeah, yeah.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Proof Positive [Re: NFLProof] * 2
    #28557737 - 11/26/23 08:09 PM (2 months, 16 hours ago)

This has been the hardest year of my life.

I’ve experienced great loss in the literal sense, and in terms of my friendships and long term relationship failing apart… I’ve been waking up filled with anxiety and living every day in survival mode, frantically clawing toward whatever I think will make it stop. All the while under increasing pressure to meet expectations in my career, relationships, and in life as a whole.

During this time I bottled the emotions from my first real struggle with my mental health, never asking for help until it all boiled over. Fought like hell to tough it out for a couple years, not wanting to burden others, and in doing so unknowingly shut out and neglected everything and everyone that mattered most to me. I feel totally fucking lost, like I just need a break, yet I wouldn’t know what to do if I had one. I can’t relax, and I’m filled with shame and guilt that I let everything get to this point.

She’s gone, the close friendships I once had are gone. I’ve seriously damaged my personal relationship with my employer, and am failing at was once my dream job. In a matter of like 1-2 years I have become that distant, isolated and unreliable person in what feels like all of my roles and relationships.

I put in a lot of work to maintain the illusion that I have my shit together, but the people closest to me are starting to see through my disguise. It’s really amazing how fast it can all fall apart. From the outside it would seem like I have it made, but it couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Sorry to hijack, but needed to vent and took the invitation.


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: NFLProof] * 1
    #28557741 - 11/26/23 08:12 PM (2 months, 16 hours ago)

Can you take some time off?
Can you go to therapy?
Can you continue to vent on here?
Is your job flexible?


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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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OfflineNFLProof
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: Anonymous #2] * 2
    #28557762 - 11/26/23 08:45 PM (2 months, 16 hours ago)

It sounds like you’re hurting a lot in silence and i hurt for you. I can relate to a lot of what you said.

Does your employer offer FMLA by any chance? It was beneficial for me at one time.

I bet a lot of the people in your life are waiting for you to ask for help or would be upset if they found out you didn’t.

You’re not alone.


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Yeah, yeah.


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28557765 - 11/26/23 08:50 PM (2 months, 16 hours ago)

keep talking


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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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OfflineNFLProof
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: loladoreen] * 2
    #28560335 - 11/29/23 05:44 AM (1 month, 29 days ago)

Hey, if you’re reading this right now, I need you to know that your special and cared about. Please keep fighting. Please keep your chin up and always looking forward. Whatever you’re struggling with just know that someone else has also. You can use this community as support, please reach out to us or anyone else. You’re worthy and I see you.


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Yeah, yeah.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Proof Positive [Re: NFLProof] * 1
    #28560525 - 11/29/23 09:43 AM (1 month, 29 days ago)

Quoted my initial comment in the suicidal thread also, and ended up poasting this in response. Same applies though, I didnt really know how to reply or what I was looking for from doing so, but appreciated your kind responses.

Happy to chat in here and continue to discuss, but don’t feel right taking up space over there in a place for folks at high risk.

Quote:

Thanks for replying to my post. I tried more than once to respond thoughtfully, but couldn’t figure out exactly what I was trying to convey. 

Not used to simply venting/asking for help just to do it, without some calculated reason or expectation attached to it. If that even makes sense. Probably somewhat of an imposter thing, in that I don’t think my situation necessarily warrants taking up space in a thread of this nature.

I was in a particularly bad space when I typed out that post but, with a clear head, I don’t feel I’m realistically at risk.

I greatly appreciate having been able to get some shit off my chest when I needed to, and be met with your kind responses. I’ll keep an eye on this thread, and will happily contribute in the future if I feel I’m able to help.

:heart:




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OfflineNFLProof
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Re: Proof Positive [Re: Anonymous #2] * 1
    #28560675 - 11/29/23 12:15 PM (1 month, 29 days ago)

I can tell you I don’t you posting anything you want in here. I don’t think you would’ve affected another thread negatively but you’re welcome here for sure.

I’m glad you’re here and are willing to share. Talking about the little things can help you or even the goal I think of this thread originally is to help others.

Anyone may think what they have to say is trivial but I assure it is not. Share your ups and downs and in betweens.

I’m not a therapist or counselor but I have decent listening skills. Just show yourself some compassion.


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Yeah, yeah.


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