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OnlineGenesisCorruptedS
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The flawless grave. (NDE List) consolidated for the sake of middleman. * 1
    #28444839 - 08/24/23 09:30 AM (5 months, 2 days ago)

This was the first time. I was 4. I don’t think there were any times before this. Hopefully…
This one would’ve left no trace for at least eight months.

Once a night in the evening. After the Arizona sun had finally set over the desert. My mother would take me on a walk around the property we lived. My grandfather ran a horse farm in the center. This was framed by a second square of orchard. He grew citrus. Outside of that was the final square around this property. This was a small dirt path that lead around the entire property. Used mostly for a four wheeler, and just to check on the trees and lay down lines for fertilizer & such.

This is actually one of the best parts of the day. I was an anxious, angry child. Someone had already hurt me. So I had completely repressed that memory at the time and wanted to run forward. It is worth noting that irrigation channels existed over this property, and were usually incredibly visible. You could even jump down into it and run along the side and jump to the other side and run along. It would be like you were running across walls. Pretty fun actually.

Well, there’s something called a mixing channel. It’s not just the regular little concrete Valley. It would lead to a very large round room. Where there would be three doors. That way you can control the flow of water. You could irrigate certain sections of the property without doing others. There is only about three of these, but they were at the corners of this property…

The very property that I was now running around.

It was spring. A very special time in Arizona where everything comes to life for a couple of months. The rain pours down plentifully in heavy drops. Thick as a pinky finger. This would form floods.

Arizona’s actually quite well known for its many deadly ghost towns. People with no knowledge of the seasons many dangers. Wander into these ghost towns, and are trapped by monsoons. Sometimes for days. Were they they would starve to death. A current problem.

Well, we’d had one of those monsoons a couple of days ago. It had made the walk, particularly beautiful.

As I turned the corner. My mother was, I would say a good, 300 feet behind me. She’d be there in maybe two minutes. While I stepped onto the mixing room….

You’ve heard how I described it. It may be 15 feet down into this large round room. Due to the monsoon it was completely level with the ground around it. A light sprinkling of leaves. To camouflage it completely. It was filled with incredibly soft thick mud….

This swallowed me up with incredible speed. I am so lucky that I was not sprinting at that moment. Or I would be dead. The only reason I’m not dead. Is because I turned 180 and grabbed the edge as it sunk me past my calves. I clung to the edge of that quick sand pit.

For two minutes while I yelled.
I guess I was a loud child. Because I was ignored until she turned the corner and saw that I was moments away from literally having mud close above my head. Then I’d have vanished for eight months. Until the monsoon season came again. Where I would have been dragged from my grave. Then sent floating into the field.

I Looked back on it.
The earth had closed perfectly, you couldn’t even see the spot that I almost slid into. The flawless grave…

Then I had a lot to contemplate on the walk.
While I dried.

Unfortunately, I think my take away was.
Everything was meaningless.


The broken reading lamp bulb.(NDE2)

This is a story of my past. I will keep it short and sweet. I was maybe six so is my cousin. My older cousin Trevor is about three years older than us. He wanders off to go and do whatever he does. I sit with my precious game boy. I was completely addicted to this thing. I was playing Pokémon yellow. The best one. Pikachu was completely under powered compared to the actual representation of this character on the television show. I suffered with this super weak unevolved Pokémon for the entire game because I was in character.

While I’m doing that, I don’t even know how. My cousin Elise manages to smash the lightbulb out of the bedside lamp. My cousins come to visit once a weekend. Yet they always manage to impose her will over everything we wanted to do.

Which is fine. I did not care.
I just asked that she unplug the lamp because she did break it. I was going to go get a lightbulb. I knew where they were.

So I return to the room and it is completely empty. At least the glass is gone. So I sit, and I grab the light bulb to unscrew it. Lightning flows down my arm. It locks every muscle in my entire body. I realize in that moment while six years old. “This could be it.”
I could die right now. I decided instead of panicking to completely try to control my body. I calm down, and then I tried to exert every single shred of energy into my left hand to force it to open. It took at least a minute. While I was fighting lightning. I did let go of it. I screamed at Elise and then I ran out into the orchards to sit and contemplate life.

My grandpa yelled at her. I found that out after the fact.

I had the will to live. Many people, especially children would’ve been dead in that situation. I refused. It’s my body and it will do what I want, lightning or

Takeaways
Don’t ever trust anyone else. With your life.


The bear on the river. (NDE3?)

I didn’t even count this. Someone needs to show me this picture. Because it exists somewhere in the world right now.

I was probably about eight.
My grandfather, having been a successful doctor. Took the children of his children on a fishing trip to Alaska. We had to take two different planes to get here. But it was worth it. It was some of the most breathtaking land I’ve ever seen. Every single thing about it was just magnificent. We were learning to fly fish. The only thing to be concerned about was the Bears. We had to watch three educational videos about them. We had to learn how these very large gates worked. Human from large tree trunks that were all formed into self closing gates. You needed to have thumbs to walk around here. For very good reason. The outsides of these gates had very large, deep scrape marks, where it looked like somebody had used a sauzaw to tear into it. That was the bear…

Well, I would say we were doing quite well. We had all caught fish some more than others. I was looking up the river. Because there was this small little chunk of the river that widened and was shallow. That when we saw it earlier that day. It was shining like red blood gold. Then all of it swam away. That was just how many sockeye salmon were under the surface. To this day is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I desperately wanted to see it again. I never would.

As I was gazing up this river, I heard of clamor from behind me. I heard pictures being taken I would not find out what the subject was until later.

It was me. Evidently, as I gazed up the river. I was leaning out to the left of the canoe to try and get a side view. There were some people sitting in front of me after all. As it turns out, there was a bear on the shore of the river. He had been fishing.

I didn’t move or change my posture at all. The bear found me quite fascinating. I was within 2 feet of that bear because of the way I was leaning. He could’ve just touched me by just holding his hand out in front of his stomach. Instead, kind of like what a person would’ve done. He just turned his head to look at me below him. And then slowly watched me roll by on the river. This picture is apparently incredible. It brought my grandfather so much joy, he had it framed and hidden somewhere in his house. As his secret pleasure. I have never seen this picture. My mother became absolutely furious when she saw how close…
Indeed, I could have received a bear hug. If I hadn’t noticed, I would’ve been quite differently positioned. As it was, though it became a legend in our family. This legendary picture of Taylor at one with nature within a foot of a bear. I think I could’ve died easily in that photo though. Luckily, the bear had caught quite a lot of fish and just found me interesting.

Takeaways

My grandpa thought it was funny and knew I was in no danger at all. Enough so that he comfortably took a very amazing picture I have yet to see. I like to think he’s where I got my best aspects of humor. Such a brilliant man.

My mother loves me very much.
She was incredibly angry.

The cow fence, and the flooded wash. (NDE4)

It was a lovely summers day. Easily 90° me and my helmet on a four wheeler. I was visiting my grandpa who lived on a small farm in the mountains beside the San Pedro river. A particularly remarkable river that flows up a mountain one of the only two rivers in the world that makes such a marvelous journey. As a road through the desert and enjoy the scenery. I wanted to feel the wind. So I went fast. Full well knowing the risks involved…

This is farmland. My grandpa had horses. Neighbors had cows. Some had ostrich. Lots of fences. In particular wire. As I was writing. There is certain things called washes that we’re really familiar with. Allow me to explain to any city folk. When the monsoons come, the sand is so soft and filled with sand already that it just flows. Landscape can you change dramatically over the course of a monsoon season. Roads need to be rebuilt in some cases. Soil erosion, perhaps. So as I rode, I noticed a wire dangling in my path. In such a way that even if I were to try and lay down on this four wheeler, it would hit me in the face.

“No problem”
Or so I thought…

Turns out that this particular four wheeler chose today to have its brakes fail. They had worked fine last time I was there. No one had warned me or told me anything about it. So as I thought I had two choices.

You have to make decisions in a snap judgment, so I had less than a second to make it.
First choice. The one that was going to happen.
I could take my chances with the death wire, which was unacceptable and not an option at all

Second choice
I could jump off the four wheeler. But I was easily going 45. I know the role technique. But the soil is rough. Filled with rough stone & cacti.
I considered it as the Mersh option.
(Mid quality weed term)
Not great. But not terrible.

Third choice
Crash into a tree. It’s pretty far away. You’ll have time for these pathetic failing breaks to at least slow you down. It’s better than the death wire…

I chose option three. Got a little whiplash. But didn’t get any cactus up the ass. As I got off the four wheeler, I looked at the wire. Sitting there literally waiting to kill people. I went home.

Got on the other four wheeler.
Put a note about the brakes on the one I just left.
Grabbed the wire cutters, returned.

Cut the wire.

It wasn’t my grandfathers. Quite honestly I don’t care who’s it was.

Takeaways
Thank goodness, I use my corrective lenses all the time.
Otherwise I would not have been able to see that wire.

Thank goodness I can decide quickly. And make a snap decisions when I need to. Slamming into the tree was definitely the correct decision.


The best peppermint bark, ever. (NDE5)

I have to go and pick up my lock from my former place of business. I will be back to finish writing this.

(post lock recovery)
This one’s actually very simple story.

I was hanging out with my friend Kris Keene.
An interesting fellow, we were on very similar brain wave lengths. We understood each other’s humor. We were enjoying a very good game of resident evil five. We were discussing how the treasure seemed almost racist because they were in Africa. But Chris can reminded us that they have always been dropping treasure. It just is in a more trouble than place this time. Which I respect. It’s not wrong to be in Africa picking up treasure. It’s wrong to have murdered people in Africa to pick up treasure. You need to pick up the treasure to get better guns to kill zombies to save Africa.

So as we’re finishing that discussion, I wanted to go downstairs and get peppermint bark. I offered to get a some. They had the finest quality peppermint bark in this very nice large house. It was the kind you get at like a Whole Foods in the small plastic tub where it’s just large rectangles a good half inch thick, peppermint bark. The highest quality.

I went downstairs and do his darkened home. I went to the kitchen, grab that little tub of bark. Then I went back upstairs. We finish the night.

I didn’t find out the application of that journey for several weeks….

Kris told me. Maybe a month later. That his father thought there was an intruder in the home. Had gotten his shotgun. Had hidden in the kitchen and aimed to shoot the intruder. Me.
Luckily, he exercised restraint.
He watched me get the bark. He watched me go up the stairs. He followed me up the stairs, and then noticed that his sons friends were over. Something that Kris should have told him….

I was almost shot in the face getting that peppermint bark.

I wish I could say it wasn’t worth it.
But it was excellent peppermint bark…

Takeaways
Always introduce yourself to the person who is hosting you.
It is a privilege to be there. They deserve to know that their home looks or feels so nice. This will also cut down on any tension. Or accidentally getting shot in the face.

The ABS light. (NDE6)

Ayahuasca must help with memory or something. Either that or my ego was just letting me repress all of this. No more.

So this one was just because I was poor. I was driving the lemon. We’re just gonna call it that. The lemon was a very good vehicle. When it was working. But it never did that though. I used it to move. The reason I was able to get out of the desert. It was also the last thing given to me by my grandfather after his passing. It’s the vehicle I learned to drive in. It also is basically an ant. It was just over 5000 pounds“you’re driving a 2 ton bullet. “
Officer Hayyes the coked out cop
But it could tow 5000 pounds. Incredible.

But due to its rarity for the make & model. All the parts were Mopar. They all were from Italy. They all need to be sent from overseas….

One time I had to wait eight months for an O-ring. Because there is only one man on earth that could make it. It was a tiny eighty-year-old Italian man. I am not  joking by the way! I looked him up.

He already had so many work orders he was behind on. Because he needed to use a tiny little hammer and chisel. To carve them out by hand.

Let that sink in.

So when the ABS light went off in this thing. I said to myself quite literally.

“Who gives a shit, this thing has worse problems to fix right now. My brakes work just fine. When I have the money, I will fix this It though”

I thought to myself. I didn’t know how much money it would be. I was concerned to find out. The anxiety of it almost made it impossible to want to go see. So here I am on the 509 driving to try and get on the 405. If you don’t know what those numbers mean. You are blessed.

So as you try to get onto the 405 from the 509. People become the biggest douche bags on earth. They think they are untouchable. No one will ever know anything they’re doing. Because they’re in a car.

So you’re waiting in line like a human being right?
Somebody will come flying up going 75 mph.
They will then slam on the brakes beside you and “spike” in.
This is a term I invented for when somebody forcefully turns in front of you. When they don’t really have enough space to merge. But now you don’t have a choice but to let them in. Or you will cause a car accident.
“They spiked you.”
This almost exclusively happens on highways. Because they guarantee themselves. Or at least they tell themselves.

“I have enough room! This person is a Cunt! We are going slow enough! So I will just force my way in there whether you like it or not!”

This attitude is so prevalent when you’re trying to get onto the 405 from the 509. That it puts you on edge. So I’m driving to get there. I’m about to just slow down and get into the left lane. You have to merge into the right lane. But it’s actually quite busy because it’s directly connected to another highway. Which I needed to get onto to use the 405.

Out of fucking nowhere!

This dude comes flying on me going 70 so as any reasonable person would.
I pushed the brake. It had rained this morning…..

The ABS failed. In the most amazing and horrifying way imaginable. It completely locked up the brakes pounding against me vigorously. As it completely lost all traction. I had fine tires to. So I proceeded to then spin three times to the left of me. Or 1080 degrees. I felt like Captain Tom.

“ I think my spaceship knows which way to go.”
I made my peace in that moment. Said goodbye. I thought I was going to die.

Then, as if some angel intervened. No traffic at all. Then pushed me all the way. I was slowly sliding to a stop up against the embankment, wall.
I was going to be parallel, parked against it. It didn’t even look like it was going to touch the side of the Wall. Then the first car.
Somebody looking directly into my eyes mind you.

A very concerned and scared couple. I don’t blame them at all. They slow down and went to the left as well. As they should. Right?

Well, here’s the issue they bumped the front of my Lemon. No damage was done at all. But they called the police.

The police wanted me to pay a ticket for losing control of my vehicle. So the money that I was going to spend to fix the ABS instead had to pay this man. Who was supposed to be here to help me. He left immediately afterwards.

I then had to wait for somebody to actually come and help me. That man had cones and a truck that’s it. He coned off two lanes. He asked if the vehicle could still drive. Which it could. I got to turn it completely around. Because I was facing into oncoming traffic. Completely parallel parked. Safely. The vehicle wasn’t any more damaged at all.

I drove home. I paid the goddamn ticket.

Then I got my ABS fixed.

Takeaways
My ABS car fixed. I treated my vehicle with more respect. I always try to get repairs done as quickly as I could on it from that point on. I Wasted a ton of money on that lemon.

You cannot expect a policeman that shows up when you’re in distress to help you.
That was the other take away.

Do I have a guardian spirit?
That was the other take away.
Because that shit was ridiculous.

The ovens wire. (NDE7)

I am a card-carrying electrician. I am also very cautious. The building I was working with so old it was riddled with asbestos. So much so that I purposely avoided getting my asbestos certification for the entire time I work there almost.

So as I was working in a unit on electricity. I would shut off everything in the entire unit. Better safe than sorry.

So I was working away trying to replace a switch for an oven that had gone out. It’s called an infinity switch.

So I ended up getting that ready to go. I had a brand new one that I was trying to bolt in. I need to turn it 90° to the right to get it to actually be sitting properly in the housing so I could screw it in. As I turned it. It exploded!
All the lights in the entire building went out. Not just the unit that I shut off. I looked at what I was holding in my hand, which I was luckily holding buy the plastic handle. I was still being safe even at that moment otherwise I would’ve hit that.
Turns out that for no reason arbitrarily. That oven was directly wired to the big fuse box outside of the entire building that shuts off the buildings entire power. I don’t know why it had that no one does. But because of that. I wasn’t able to continue doing that job. I didn’t feel safe.

Takeaways
It’s a good thing I was holding it in such a way that showed. I was quite literally scared of being electrocuted to death. It saved my life. Always treat every electrical object that you’re working on the wiring up as if it can kill you. It might be able to. Especially the oven & the heater.

Weed store across from Fred Meyer’s. (Death8)

2023 February Sunday 2:36PM
(Time of death… 2:40pm. Alive again. 2:40pm)

I was super jazzed. It was my last day off. I had just finished my weed, but I still had enough cash that I would be able to get some food later. While I also had just picked up some particularly amazing looking dank.
Brand is called plaid jacket. Destroyer had just been harvested. The perfect pair.

It was in a fine cardboard sleeve with a top of solid black. Because they understand that even light can destroy the flavor. Something that people just don’t appreciate. I treat my weed like wine. Savoring it. I only smoke a pipe typically.

Because sometimes at the very end. All you taste is the Turpines. The ultimate actual exchange of flavor. Something you can only experience in a pipe in my opinion.

So as I’m sitting there, I decide after just leaving the store.

“I want a new pipe”

I think to myself
“man I’ve really been working on a lot of stuff lately. Been really trying to be better. I love marijuana. I feel like I deserve a new pipe.”
So I go across to the other side and go into the smoke shop. They don’t have very good pipes admittedly. But it’s not their fault. People just make trashier pipes than they used to. In particular, I find the silver and gold fuming to be lacking.
It doesn’t go all the way to the end of the pipe anymore. So I looked into the artist case that they’re supporting. The local people making pipes. I decide they’re too expensive, but I would want one in the future.

So I decide on a straight.
At least that’s what I call it.
It’s a regular pipe except the carb is on the end of it. It’s usually shaped like a square or a rounded tube. May be a pickle.
So I picked the small green square one. Got a nice streak down it. It’s nice. Reminds me of an old bong I used to have.
(I didn’t realize at the time that it was actually a terrible pipe. It would burn you if you actually wanted to smoke weed properly in it. I would later throw it away.)

After that.
I get out of there, I went over to the intersection. I’m facing the Fred Meyer’s. Got my helmet on. (Otherwise I would be dead….)
I’m wearing the outfit I got for Christmas. I am particularly fond of the coat. It’s soft, fluffy interior. These pants have so many lovely pockets. This shirt in particular is fantastic. It’s a mittled dark red pattern. It looks like the static you see on the insides of your eyelids when you look at a light.

I push the button to wait, so I can ride across the street. Once across the street and passed the Fred Meyer‘s. All the danger was past. It has always been the most busy part of this entire street. I always pay extra care when I’m here. So I wait. Then when the light turns white. The little man tells me I can walk.
I begin to cross
(fade to Black…..)

I wake up in the back of an ambulance. They tell me I’ve been hit by a car. They tell me I can’t move…..

I think I might be paralyzed.

Maybe I’ll never be able to walk again.
Maybe I can’t smell flowers anymore.
Maybe.
They could’ve elaborated that I wasn’t gonna be able to move because they strapped me to a gurney.
Instead of making me think I was crippled.
Then it dawns on me…

Like a bath of ice poured down on you from the heavens.

I can’t afford a goddamn ambulance!That pipe was $20. I had 40 more for food. That was going to last me for a week. I began to cry. This lead me to my journey with  ayahuasca…

Just for the sake of closure. I was taken to a hospital for people that might not have insurance. I actually did have Insurance they just didn’t know. Luckily I was not charged for my admitance. The coat was fine for a couple more months then a button fell off. The pants still have a small hole to the upper left where I made initial contact with the street. I think it makes it look a little more cool. It has a story attached to it. Unfortunately, the shirt was cut in half when I was admitted. RIP red mottled long sleeve shirt.

Takeaways
It was time to change my life.

I decided to use psychedelics to help me do it.

Because all of the methods I had employed up to this point had not worked. I was also going to seek out therapy.

Much more vigorously than I had been at that point. Despite the ridiculous cost.

Became a better man

Continued in psychedelic experience.

A lasting sense of empathy and connectedness.

Better memory.

More willing to put yourself out there to create.

Much more forgiving

Anger is ebbing away

The environment I keep is very inviting now.

Much more thankful.



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Edited by GenesisCorrupted (08/25/23 03:39 PM)


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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
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Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
Re: The flawless grave [Re: GenesisCorrupted]
    #28444846 - 08/24/23 09:35 AM (5 months, 2 days ago)

wow!


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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InvisibleFerdinando
Male

Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 3,664
Re: The flawless grave [Re: redgreenvines]
    #28446055 - 08/25/23 05:17 AM (5 months, 1 day ago)

incredible
thanks


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with our love with our love we could save the world


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