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InvisibleAsante
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Genesis Redux (with the safety off) * 1
    #28439590 - 08/19/23 05:10 PM (5 months, 6 days ago)

GENESIS REDUX

God was lonely after creating the heavens and the earth, so he made a man out of the fertile dark soil of Africa, gave him life, and they played for years and years in East African Eden. Everything was perfect, but one day Adam asked that, since he was God's playmate, if God could make him a playmate he could play with like God played with him. "You little entitled b*tch!" God said, "i make you paradise and yourself and you play with GOD and now you ask GOD to make you a playmate that is less like GOD than even you are?!" "Yes please?" said Adam. "ohhkidokie Adam, so if I got it straight you want a smaller model that is a bigger b*tch than you are with a double helping of entitlement and dependency on you?" "Hold on God, if you say it like that it sounds bad.. All I wanted was.." "Tits and ass, Adam."  God said mercifully, knocked Adam under general anesthesia, took DNA from the marrow of his rib, made a second Adam called Eve beside him and performed gender assignment surgery on them both, giving one an outward gender and the other an inward one.

When the Man and Womb-Man woke up they were so enthralled by and into each other that the now friendzoned God and the serpent devised a plan under the tree of Wisdom to make the lovebirds get a room.

(strong apologies if anyone feels offended, we all an find comfort in the holy books for the final word on what happened.)


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Genesis Redux (with the safety off) [Re: Asante]
    #28439635 - 08/19/23 05:56 PM (5 months, 6 days ago)

God said that he wrote this satire for several reasons.

One of them is that while it was his plan, the emerging of multiple people meant the love of the people became increasingly divided between the people as opposed to solely devoted to God.

That is a step back to God personally, a personal sacrifice towards the greater good, by God.

This is one of the reasons God asked celibacy of devoted officials of the Roman Catholic faith, to have them be devoted to God entirely in the way Adam was.

Since corruption of the Clergy increases, as foretold, a lot of church officials perverted the creation story horrendously to patch their lack of devotion with the molestation of children.

This is a failure of the offender, but also of the Church to instil proper devotion, selet proper candidates and separate the chaff from the wheat if offenses occurred.

For this reason, RC might loosen the requirement of celibacy in our lifetime.



God also wants to emphasize Adam was gendered towards Eve at the time Eve was gendered to Adam, that before this Adam and God were a same-gender (ungendered) relationship which was not carnal, as Adam was in the flesh and God was in spirit.


Obviously, the heinous sexism of the satire makes obvious that the creation process is unequal and, therefore there is a natural compensatory mechanism to equalize the genders. In a heterosexual life-bearing relationship, the female body is equipped to create life, and the male body is equipped to sustain it.

This does not mention nor invalidate other gender configurations.


clarification.


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