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OfflineShiroiTora
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My first real Amanita experience * 1
    #28435612 - 08/15/23 11:30 PM (5 months, 10 days ago)

This is a cross post with my journal, I'm not so well versed with cross posting so I just think I need to disclose it, not sure how it works.

Holy shit!! I dosed 1.2g this time wanting a more immersive amanita experience, and I was not disappointed in the least.

Right off the bat I got stimulation instead of sedation, I was hyper and pacing around back and forth for probably 2-3 hours(the dose is still not high enough to make me want to dance, but I can feel it has the potential). After that I ate something, had a shower and off to bed I went.

The DREAMS my dude.. Holy shit it was intense. For the most of the night I was a bit more unsettled than the previous two nights, not quite sleeping so soundly, but after about 1am(T+7h) the dreams started to kick in(probably the ibo converting to muscimol around this time). I felt like I was being guided through my dreams by the mushroom, like lucid dreaming but not really having a say in what happens, though I was very very lucid indeed.

Before every dream, my body would warm up intensely and I intuitively felt that I could choose to continue with the dream sequence, as it would be triggering for me, and the mushroom would not continue without my consent. I accepted each of the "challenges" except the last one, by which I was fairly tired. I was taken through situations and brought to people in my life that have evoked rage in my heart in over the last year or so. Throughout the dreams I was made to understand that the mushroom cures anxiety, and that anxiety left to fester too long often turns into rage, I was in an unfavorable position, as I intentionally (though unconsciously) left it that way without confronting or dealing with my problems.

I was taken to a birthday party scene of mine. For over two years now I have wanted to throw a big birthday party as I've never really had one and never really bothered with them as I was never very popular as a kid or an adult(go figure:smirk:). Things went awry though as the only people who showed up was my ex(a cause of extreme rage, I eventually left her due to actual health concerns about my blood pressure, or that I might get physical during one of our fights etc.), and my paternal grandmother, who made me feel like an outsider to the family before and during my grandfather's funeral because "I never post to the family chat group" on WhatsApp. Things were extremely awkward, and it really made me think of such situations happening in real life, made me reconsider the value of peace between me and the people in my life. Both my grandmother and my ex were clearly sneering at me, looking like they literally wished me dead so they wouldn't have to attend another one of these awkward parties. At first I thought "I too can play this game" and started singing the happy birthday song, even stopping after the second line saying "come on we can do better than this". At which time my ex stood up and left. I was positively seething, I felt my rage boiling through my chest, it felt like a rage that if left unchecked would consume me, the pure steaming hatred would eventually transcend my body and take on a life of its own, causing more hate and destruction in it's wake and sowing its seeds, eventually taking over the world.

For the first time in my life I thought "what if I genuinely am too weak to contain this rage?", " what if it really transcends me and the limitations of my body and really takes over the world, and I could have stopped it when it was small and weak?". Then the mushroom granted me lucidity. I remember my practice of bhakti yoga and that all beings were in fact me in other forms, I realized I had just been using it as a prop to feel good about myself and bolster my ego, thinking I was the epicenter or love for the universe, yet when it came to doing "the work", the hard work, I was no better than the rest. The mushroom helped my realize I can stop that bullshit if I genuinely wanted to, though it would not be easy, but also that it was not some act of incredible philanthropy that people will remember me for, that it was just a tactic to, at best, survive the rage that had been quietly simmering inside me and plotting " it's escape" for years.

The next dream I remember was of being at a festival. My friend J was there. J and I have a difficult relationship. We both have autism and we seem to be very close to each other on the spectrum, she can understand my pain better than anyone else can and vice versa, we have had incredibly deep conversations and bonding experiences, both tripping and not, that has made her boyfriend visibly jealous of me whenever I am around. This has led over the last year or so, to situations where I try and arrange a hike or other activity(like we always used to do before said bf for jealous) where they would cancel on the day it was scheduled and I would feel very hurt(and later angry) since I genuinely look forward to seeing my friend J, not even because I am interested in her but because no one understands me like she does, and I really like talking to her. Recently I met a girl I am genuinely interested in though, and she was in the dream too. I felt how the way J and I talked made me feel self-conscious about how candid I was and how uncomfortable it made me to talk like we usually do in front of someone I had a genuine love interest in. I felt how uncomfortable I must have made J, not during, but afterward when she had to confront her jealous bf(as they had obviously had fights about me before). I saw that it was just human how she and her bf reacted to my presence, and how I should just let them be, without letting it upset me in the process, and also that it was maybe not a good idea to be hanging around with her while dating someone I cared about a lot, at least for the time being anyway.

These are the only two dreams "PC" enough to talk about on the shroomery I think.

Really amazing stuff these amanitas. It is for sure an old and wise spirit, conditioned in the ways of symbiosis and relationship in general, with oneself and others. I am eternally grateful that I got to experience this mushroom for myself finally.


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: My first real Amanita experience [Re: ShiroiTora]
    #28437247 - 08/17/23 02:31 PM (5 months, 8 days ago)

that's pretty good,
I have been avoiding amanita since severe poisoning can occur with as little as 5 to 7 mg of amanita toxin, an amount that can be present in a single mushroom.


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OfflineShiroiTora
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I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/16/21
Posts: 616
Loc: South Africa Flag
Last seen: 2 days, 10 hours
Re: My first real Amanita experience [Re: ShiroiTora]
    #28437577 - 08/17/23 08:17 PM (5 months, 8 days ago)

Amanita toxin isn't a thing. The two main psychoactives are muscimol and ibotenic acid. Ibotenic acid is the (more) toxic one. You might be confusing it with alpha-amanitin, found in Phalloides, not in Muscaria in any amounts. Sorry I should have probably clarified, guess I thought the icon would be enough:lol:

But you say you've BEEN avoiding amanita? Are your friends trying to force feed you? lol..


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InvisibleFerdinando
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Re: My first real Amanita experience [Re: ShiroiTora]
    #28437778 - 08/18/23 02:30 AM (5 months, 8 days ago)

cool
i would definitely go with cubensis instead
since it is not poisonous
i think it's better too
and more awesome


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OfflineShiroiTora
LBM
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/16/21
Posts: 616
Loc: South Africa Flag
Last seen: 2 days, 10 hours
Re: My first real Amanita experience [Re: Ferdinando]
    #28438730 - 08/18/23 10:20 PM (5 months, 7 days ago)

Please link me the studies proving it is poisonous as I've not found any yet.

Also imagine life if you had to choose only one plant and never even try any others because it is "better and more awesome" than all the rest, it is way too sad to think about for me:sad:


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: My first real Amanita experience [Re: ShiroiTora]
    #28438889 - 08/19/23 06:02 AM (5 months, 7 days ago)

if it works and is not hurting, it is great.


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OfflineShiroiTora
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I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/16/21
Posts: 616
Loc: South Africa Flag
Last seen: 2 days, 10 hours
Re: My first real Amanita experience [Re: ShiroiTora]
    #28440100 - 08/20/23 03:59 AM (5 months, 6 days ago)

I mean I'm not dead yet:shrug:


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OfflineNeurotech
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Re: My first real Amanita experience [Re: ShiroiTora]
    #28453354 - 08/31/23 09:15 AM (4 months, 26 days ago)



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OfflineShiroiTora
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I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/16/21
Posts: 616
Loc: South Africa Flag
Last seen: 2 days, 10 hours
Re: My first real Amanita experience [Re: Neurotech]
    #28454450 - 09/01/23 02:55 AM (4 months, 25 days ago)

Those are cute little anecdotal reports, however I usually require some real science to change my mind.

In the first report, the really fatal case(case 1), they don't even know what the dose was. In the introduction they say 4 to 5 and in the actual case report they say 6 to 10 mushrooms, which is a pretty fucking massive difference, you know, as in the Venn diagrams wouldn't even touch. If you would just dead ass believe a person with holes in his story this size, you should indeed stay away from any amanitas, or just psychoactives in general.

Also:

Quote:

Conclusion

Toxicity from Amanita mushrooms that contain ibotenic acid and muscimol is generally considered low-risk; however, our cases and a review of the literature demonstrated that severe outcomes do occur. Central nervous system excitation followed by CNS depression with complete resolution of symptoms within 24 h is typical, but the possibility of more deleterious effects, including seizure and respiratory depression, should be anticipated and patients should be monitored closely until symptoms have completely resolved. An understanding of the main neuroactive chemicals is necessary to understanding the resultant toxidrome and anticipating symptoms. The number of mushrooms consumed, how the mushrooms were prepared, and when and where the mushrooms were picked, can potentially affect the resultant toxicity.




The quoted text in bold highlights the main problem with research surrounding A. muscaria at the moment. All these factors play a role in the toxic properties that will be observed following ingestion, although the Japanese papers which supposedly "prove" ibotenic acid to be a neurotoxin used isolated ibotenic acid injected straight into the brains of rats which disregards all these factors mentioned. I dunno about you but injecting something straight into my brain has never been a very big desire of mine, mostly because finding something that's NOT neurotoxic with that ROA is pretty fucking hard.

I guess I just wish there was actual research about these mushrooms.. I am double majoring in microbiology and biochemistry so maybe I should join in on that front. I'll bump this thread again in like 10 years with my findings:wink:


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