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OfflineRache2020
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Shrooms for anxiety or no?
    #28419839 - 08/03/23 11:17 PM (5 months, 22 days ago)

I get anxiety now after a bereavement last year and taking shrooms-I know you're not supposed to take them in a bad state of mind but I didn't see myself ever feeling better so I took a medium dose (20-30 libs) a couple times around 3 months after the loss.

I didn't really enjoy the trips-had some fractals but nothing "magical" or even interesting, so that added to the depression of being on them expecting something amazing to happen and sod all did! I also freaked out a a bit at one point because I felt vaguely nauseous and hot so my brain naturally went "you're gonna end up calling an ambulance"-I guess fear of losing control is a BIG issue of mine, and that's where the anxiety stems from. It's funny because I've never had a lot of pain to deal with, or even been in hospital (I've been really lucky so far) so I have no reason to believe I will end up horribly unwell or go crazy in my everyday life.

But since then I can panic at the slightest thing-if I get heartburn I think I'll end up having to call an ambulance. It's like any slight deviance from my bassline makes me panic that I'm going to end up in pain or go crazy...so my idea was to take shrooms and get used to a "different" state of being so I don't panic so much the rest of the time. But I don't know if it's the shrooms that caused this anxiety and existential dread in the first place or not...I can't really pinpoint when it happened exactly but sometime in the last year I guess.

I just don't want to fuck up my fragile mental state even worse, plus there's psychosis in the family...although I've never lost contact with reality myself, I'm just worried it'll lead to that eventually if I freak myself out enough.

It's getting towards that time of year again and I don't know whether to risk it or not. It's just that atm it feels like life is a trip I can't handle...


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OfflineRache2020
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Re: Shrooms for anxiety or no? [Re: newaccounts]
    #28421129 - 08/04/23 09:30 PM (5 months, 21 days ago)

Quote:

butterflydawn said:
Quote:

Rache2020 said:
I just don't want to fuck up my fragile mental state even worse, plus there's psychosis in the family...





The thing is it's not a good idea to take psychedelics regarding your situation with the family health history. Even though classic psychedelics might help with anxiety, I think in your case and in most cases you should take them with a professional therapist if you are looking for a medicinal benefit.

Just my 2 cents though.




Yeh that's why I've always stayed away from pot because we think that's what triggered my brothers psychosis so I believe there is a predisposition there. Good idea about the professional therapist though-I hadn't thought of it in that context. I'm still deciding on whether to get a therapist or not anyway-did I mention it takes me ages to make decisions as well...

Quote:

redgreenvines said:
@ rache2020,

last year I remember writing to you about shifting your attention to breathing
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/28043002#28043002

you probably want to schedule some breath awareness every day for at least a week before letting chemistry do its thing as you just react to the universe. which is how everyone exists in this society - we become automatons reacting to hunger, stimulation, advertising, temptations... react react react.

doing some breath awareness (any kind that is relaxing) breaks the chain.

this small push back (breath awareness effort) is like magic.




Oh yes thank you for the reminder, I probably already made at least 2 other similar type threads on depression and anxiety. I'll go look back over them. Is it a form of meditation just focused on breathing? I've been meaning to meditate more anyway.


Quote:

Socrateshroom said:
The idea you have is sound: “Do something that challenges your comfort”.

But shrooms might not be the way. Yes they are great at making one face themselves and learn how to handle discomfort. But because they also can make you lose touch with reality temporarily, there can be unintended consequences.

I’d say do something else to remove yourself from your comfort zone. Or, if you must, just take a smaller dose.




Yeh exactly-get used to being out of my comfort zone physically type thing. I think I would definitely take smaller amounts next time and build up so I get used to the feeling. I really waited too long to take them, should've done all this when I was 20 and in a better state of mind.

I actually took morning glory seeds around that age and puked my guts up and don't remember panicking back then. That's probably the last time I was sick as well so I know I have a strong stomach but the fear of throwing up is real now. Would it be cheating to rely on having some benzos handy or some anti-nausea meds?

Quote:

Soul Flight said:
Maybe microdosing would work for anxiety. And when I say microdosing I mean unnoticeable and undetectable levels. I think around 0.25 grams every other day and maybe take a week break in between.

I know for sure around 3 to 8 grams causes extreme anxiety for 3 to 6 hours and full blown panic attacks. I am able to ride it out but I am white knuckling and begging the universe to let me survive. Over 3 grams causes extreme agitation and restlessness. Eyes are darting. Body cannot stop moving any muscle or limb or appendage. Constant wiggling and pacing and wriggling. Thoughts are scattered. There is no comfort in any song or media. I cannot bear my eyes open or closed. Everything is a hallucination. Heart is racing. Chest is squeezed.

I also feel my anxiety is possibly increasing with age or maybe just with psychedelic usage. I suspect I lived in an atheist materialist reductionist fantasy world prior to psychedelics. I now live in a wonderful integrated magical cosmic world but it is a very vulnerable world. The psychedelics reveal an uncertain chaotic world. But I find peace in truth and reality. I had a false peace with all my old dogmas and paradigms.

Be well :smile:




What would be the equivalent in numbers of libs? I know it varies because of size etc. but generally? Yeh I don't think I could handle a stronger trip  right now at all. That sounds pretty scary what you've been through, but worth it if you're strong enough mentally.

Quote:

newaccounts said:
I recommend ice bath three times a week. I think it has benefits that will also improve the chance of you having positive experiences with psychedelics.

That and breath work.




Oh god that sounds horrible! I'll look into it though. I know an ice bath is good for the muscles, didn't know it had other potential effects.

Quote:

And all that pacing etc. is an attempt at self soothing kicking in reflexively in re-triggered loops because of persistent discomforts that really would have just been tiny little bothers, i.e. had they not been made to last 3 seconds each (and then loop incessantly) instead of just 1/4 second (with no loop)...




That's kind of how I feel about life in general, I get hyper focused on a slight pain, heartburn, panicked feeling etc. and then instead of waiting for it to pass I panic that it'll get worse. I feel SO vulnerable in this world, if I'm in pain no one is gonna know or care or experience what I'm experiencing. They will just stand around watching me losing it. It's just terrifying, and I know we're all in the same boat obviously I'm just hyper aware of it all the time. Gotta love that existential depression!


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OfflineRache2020
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Re: Shrooms for anxiety or no? [Re: CreonAntigone]
    #28422458 - 08/05/23 10:00 PM (5 months, 20 days ago)

Quote:

ShiroiTora said:
Mushrooms work at any dose for depression, but high doses are the only ones that work for anxiety. Psilohuasca I've actually found to be most helpful with anxiety, but that is a rough and extended duration trip, not for everyone.

OP if you are concerned about the family history and such, ashwagandha is more effective than any mushrooms I've ever taken for anxiety, 100%. Just keep taking it till it works(about 10 days for me) and don't stop abruptly. It also goes really nicely with tripping if you feel ready having taken the ashwagandha for a few weeks.




Oh thank you I'll look into ashwaganha-I think I can get hold of that. I've not heard of Psilohuasca-I assume it's not legal though?! I have trouble getting hold of anything other than liberty caps since they grow in the UK, unfortunately I don't have any "connections" for anything else. I'd also love to go to some retreat or shaman and have a spiritual experience, I don't know how feasible that is though.

@CreonAntigone

Wow that was insightful! I didn't even mention I have OCD as well since that's like the least of my worries (or so I thought) but yeh now you mention it, could all be connected. I only really do excessive hand washing, and I like things lined up straight. It was worse when I was a kid constantly checking things and counting but I don't really do that anymore. I didn't think about it being anything to do with my anxiety-food for thought! Thank you for the tips as well they are so helpful.

@Soul Flight yes liberty caps sorry! I have taken 30 at the most, they were pretty small though. I know weighing is more accurate-maybe I'll get a decent scale next time for a better idea of how much I'm taking. I don't think I could handle anxiety on top of the anxiety I get as it is when not even high-but maybe after trying some of the tips and advice the good people of this forum have given me I'll be in a better frame of mind later on.


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OfflineRache2020
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Re: Shrooms for anxiety or no? [Re: CreonAntigone]
    #28422468 - 08/05/23 10:02 PM (5 months, 20 days ago)

I should add I've never officially been diagnosed with OCD I'm just pretty sure I have it.


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OfflineRache2020
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Re: Shrooms for anxiety or no? [Re: ShiroiTora]
    #28422596 - 08/05/23 11:43 PM (5 months, 20 days ago)

Quote:


Here is a link to a guy that does it legally in the Netherlands. Apparently truffles and Syrian rue are completely legal there, but mushrooms and normal ayahuasca are illegal. This guy sounds pretty legit, I agree with his philosophies and stuff, perhaps you might want to look into a guided trip.




Thank you, I'll check that link out later. Just on the ashwagandha-I looked into it a little bit and seems it has an effect on dreaming as well? I'm super interested in lucid dreaming so if it helps with that (or vivid dreams) that will be an absolute bonus. Did you happen to notice any difference in your dream recall? I'm defo gonna order some now anyway.


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OfflineRache2020
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Re: Shrooms for anxiety or no? [Re: Sub-Easy]
    #28424780 - 08/07/23 07:07 PM (5 months, 18 days ago)

Quote:

Sub-Easy said:
I got anxiety after I did them.

First time really feeling anxiety in that sort of way,  but I think it just manifest itself in other ways before shrooms. Ways that I was used to my whole life and they just seemed like normal like how it is for everyone I assumed.

I understand why I was getting anxiety,  and understood that it was a good thing.

And I was right, and it worked out wonderfully for me in the end.

But I really had to think hard about how that all was working psychologically, before I understood what was happening, and I had to really pay attention to exactly what I was experiencing.

I also had an experience that kicked my anxiety into overdrive. But I had been feeling it after the shrooms,  and before my experience made it much worse.

I understood what the processes were that was causing it, and I knew it was something that was good for me.

So try to understand what your mind is doing,  and also keep looking for other causes that are also contributing.

The SSRI's that they put in cigarettes was part of the problem, for example.

It's going to take a year or two to process any really bad things that happen in your life also,  so it takes time before you find relief.

But it's something you should put your mind to understanding,  and working and growing through.

It's a process.

Also, I'm sure all that nice, free healthcare over there doesn't hurt,  govvv-na!

We don't call the ambulance in the US, unless we are missing a body part,  because they are doing to charge you an arm and a leg,  and you might live,  but you will wish you were dead.




Glad you were able to figure out what was causing your anxiety and how to deal with it, that's promising. It just feels like now I know what anxiety feels like it's just going to keep happening. I can never go back to the carefree days I used to have or be like I used to. Good advice though, something to explore in therapy maybe.

Yeh we're lucky to have the NHS although it's not great right now-crazy waiting lists etc. also my anxiety is kind of NHS related with two of my family members refusing to ever go into the local hospital again after some bad experiences. That meant they would die at home which was not an experience I was prepared for-you can't really prepare for it. I've accepted death I just didn't expect to have to watch it that up close. I never would've been put in that position if the hospital had taken better care of my family members. Sometimes it feels like life is one long guilt trip. I'm sure everyone must have regrets when a family member dies, I seem to have more than most. A lot of blame and guilt, and now anxiety as well-fun times!

Quote:

Now that you mention it, there was a time I was having pretty wild and far-out dreams, but I figured it was just because my stress was reduced(probably works that way), I didn't realize it was a lucid dreaming aid. That being said it is orders of magnitude weaker than Silene capensis for dreams, if you want lucid dreams that is my root of choice.




Very interesting thanks! I can't wait to try it for two reasons now, surprised I haven't come across it before. Silene Capensis yeh that's on my list as well-I took something a few years ago but I think that was Calea something  which I don't remember doing anything much for dream recall. Although maybe I didn't take it enough times as it was so bitter tasting. I must've tried almost everything else at this point! I wonder if I couldn't get hold of Silene Capensis before or if I have in fact tried it at some point, hmm I'll have another look for it.


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OfflineRache2020
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Re: Shrooms for anxiety or no? [Re: CreonAntigone]
    #28426071 - 08/08/23 05:42 PM (5 months, 17 days ago)

Ah that's great! Can't wait to get some and try it out for myself now.


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