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Anonymous #1

Putting my dog down * 1
    #28404578 - 07/22/23 10:16 PM (6 months, 3 days ago)

I have a 14 year old pit bull.  Gotti bluenose original pure bred. He was a wonderful hunting dog, a great gaurd dog and in last 6 years was a wonderful ptsd companion,  barking at me whenever I forgot to do something and loving me unconditionally whenever I got to feeling low.



I'm struggling with the end of his life because it is upon me.

He has some degenerative muscular condition that is either caused by infection or cancer. Due to his age and my financial situation I haven't had him diagnosed by the vet in over a year.

I believe he was either intentionally poisoned or got into something on accident about five years ago as he quit eating and shriveled up to almost nothing.  I took him to the vet when it happened and at first they wanted to run 2k worth of diagnostics on him. My response was very curt and plain. I told the vet that I wouldn't take a needle stick to save my own life but I love this dog more than any human I know and if you can convince me that he will benefit from these test I will go into debt to have them done. She (the vet) sighed heavily and said "hold on a minute". She left the room and returned momentarily with some food on a small plate and said, let's see if he will eat this, and he did. She told me that it was basically boiled chicken with rice as a filler and that I should feed him that and try to ween him back onto dog food and also gave me a script of antibiotics to give him. He got better fairly quickly.


Fast forward to now. He has become largely incontinent and regularly urinates while he sleeps. He has trouble getting up the steps from the street to the house and I often need to carry him. He can walk around the block but often he will fall down and need me to help him up. He still wags his tail and responds to my coming in the house when I have been gone for a time.

He has at least a thousand word vocabulary and his mental faculties seem to still be functioning.

About three weeks ago he was sitting in his spot on the opposite side of our duel recliner and whining a little bit. I leaned over and kissed him on the nose and he just laid there, I ask him if he was ready to be put down and he licked my nose immediately, I ask him if he was sure and he licked my nose again. I started crying and just let the tears flow for a couple minutes. Then I had a few drinks and went to sleep.

I got up the next day and when he started whining I gave him some coconut cannabis butter that I make to use for edibles. Worth mentioning I have been feeding him fried beef fat, fried chicken fat, boiled chicken breast and rice, Campbell's chicken soup and puppy chow for about the last three months.

After getting dosed with the cannabutter he slept and then became much more active when he woke, he was running (well trotting) and didn't really whine at all for about ten days to two weeks, he has let me know whenever the canbabutter wears off because he starts barking and whining until he gets another dose. His tolerance is increasing quite a bit and this last dose I tripled his normal dose as it went from once a day to twice a day and then it didn't seem to be helping.

On the tripled does he is passed all the way out, he is still breathing but has soiled himself in urine again.

I had to get a new bed recently because of all the pissing in the bed he has done. I have slept with him every night for at least the last 7 years. I had him trained to sleep at the foot of the bed on the floor in a doggy bed but an ex-girlfriend insisted on letting him in the bed and when we separated I couldn't tell him no because he was used to it and to be very honest I enjoyed cuddling with him. Whenever I would roll over in my sleep he always would get up and readjust himself into the small spoon position.

There is much more I could say about what a great dog he is. I always wanted a dog like this and was blessed to have him.

But I believe the time has come. He is the last of all the doggies that any of my friends had that was even close to his age. All the other dogs that were close to his age are gone, most of them younger than him, as many of my friends saw what a great dog he was and how much I enjoyed him and went out and got a dog of their own, and he made friends with every single one of them, however all those dogs are gone.


Without trying to give identifiable details, this dog saved my life more than once. And we have been on many a good adventure.  Although I do not hunt because meat is plentiful in my region , I took him on several faux hunts and he performed like a purebred bloodhound,  tracking and chasing game towards me, he would spit a flock of geese and cause half the flock to fly tight over my head and then a minute or two later run the other half right over my head and then come back and look at me like I could have at least killed one for him to eat. He caught squirrels while he was on a leash because he was just that crafty and loved to eat fresh wild game.


I don't really know where I am going with this post other than documenting how mush I love this dog.

Truth being told I am probably looking for some type of validation or encouragement that I must put him down.  I feel like I am being selfish to keep him alive because I have no other living thing that loves me as much as he does and when he is gone I know my life will be empty.

I have been cooking him high end beef fat that a friend who is a butcher has been pulling to the side for us. He hardly even has any interest in it but can't resist filling his belly when I put it out.


What am I going to do? I know what needs to be done but can't bring myself to do it.


Somebody help me. Please.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Putting my dog down [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28404620 - 07/22/23 11:03 PM (6 months, 3 days ago)

You know it is time. He's suffering and all you do is you prolong it because you can't let him go.

This may sound harsh, but I know what you're going through as I have been in a very similar situation about three years ago. My dogs health started to decline. Initially she started to get epileptic fits and it got worse and worse till one day she hid away in the garage. Her hind legs didn't want to work anymore.
We brought her to the vet and she got the injection. She basically died in my arms. Let me tell you it was one of the toughest things to do in my life so far and it hit me pretty hard initially. But at the same time I knew it was the right thing to do because it's unfair to try and keep them alive, when it's time for them to go. Your dog knows this and I think you do too... and I know it's fucking hard to do.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Putting my dog down [Re: Anonymous #2] * 3
    #28404661 - 07/23/23 12:25 AM (6 months, 3 days ago)

Man, that post brought tears to my eyes.  I'm so sorry.

You know what needs to be done, and how much it's going to hurt to say goodbye, but your friend needs you to be strong.  The last gifts of love you can bestow on him are peace and remembrance.

:sadyes:


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Anonymous #4

Re: Putting my dog down [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28404856 - 07/23/23 06:05 AM (6 months, 3 days ago)

I'm 61 years old and have been through this many times.It never gets any easier, after all, they're not like family, they ARE family.

I think he has told you that it's time. The only regrets I've ever had are knowing that I waited too long and prolonged their suffering because I couldn't let go. I think you know what needs to be done. Hold tight to the memories of him. Those memories will always be there for you, so in a way he will always be there for you.

I have to stop now, I'm bawling like a baby.


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Anonymous #5

Re: Putting my dog down [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #28405920 - 07/24/23 03:30 AM (6 months, 2 days ago)

Yeah I've had to do the same with my dog. You have 3 choices:

1. Take care of the dog until it dies naturally.

2. Release the dog into the wild to fend for itself.

3. Put the dog down.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Putting my dog down [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #28406000 - 07/24/23 06:32 AM (6 months, 2 days ago)

Another friend has a dog he is putting down this week due to cancer. We met at the park a couple hours ago and let them play together for the last time.

I am coming to grips with the reality of what must be done in the best interest of my best friend.

It is very sad but it is the reality of life.


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Anonymous #6

Re: Putting my dog down [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #28406039 - 07/24/23 07:44 AM (6 months, 2 days ago)

He's 14, I think the reality is that he just reached the end of his genetically determined lifespan.

Quote:

Anonymous #5 said:
Yeah I've had to do the same with my dog. You have 3 choices:

1. Take care of the dog until it dies naturally.

2. Release the dog into the wild to fend for itself.

3. Put the dog down.




The last time I had to deal with this situation/decision, I got some sort of Schrodinger's cat answer from the vet about whether my dog was in any pain. He had lymphoma, and the progression mainly involved sleeping more and gradually losing his faculties. There wasn't a lot happening with him towards the end. He'd get up and walk around in a circle when he had to go to the bathroom. I'd pick him up and put him outside, then retrieve him a bit later after he'd laid back down (mild weather, remote shady/wooded location) I was trying to make the decision, reading up on how to do it myself, etc. Then I let him out one morning and ended up passing out myself. When I went to go bring him back in, he was gone. To this day, I don't really understand how.

My grandmother passed away a few years ago. She was in her early 90's. She'd had several strokes, and the last one involved falling in the shower and hitting her head. She was comatose in the hospital by the time we realized that she'd gotten her ducks in a row and filed a DNR order. Sharp woman.

I hope I have the same presence of mind if and when that time comes for me. And loved ones who would pull the plug, or more, when my life as I knew it is obviously over.

That is the last, and hardest, solid you can do for your dog.

Sorry for your loss.


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Anonymous #7

Re: Putting my dog down [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #28411871 - 07/28/23 05:29 PM (5 months, 28 days ago)

It is this the hardest thing about having a pet partner.  But you have to do the right thing, brother.  Put him down, be there with him, pet him.  Then cry, grieve, remember when he was fun and silly - laugh if you can.  Hang in there, but don't make him suffer.  And when it is time, bring another one into your pack.

mush love.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Putting my dog down [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #28414932 - 07/31/23 10:24 AM (5 months, 26 days ago)

[quote

That is the last, and hardest, solid you can do for your dog.







Thank you for this. It is my obligation as a good doggy daddy not to let my best friend suffer. I need his emotional support. I know he would live another hundred years if he could, all the while in tremendous pain, if for one moment it would lessen my load.

Goodnight my sweet little puppy doggie,  daddy loves you so much. ❤️


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Anonymous #8

Re: Putting my dog down [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28416429 - 08/01/23 04:04 PM (5 months, 25 days ago)

I had a 14 year old Springer who had a long life full of adventures but who slowed down in his last few years.

Then, he suddenly started losing all strength in his legs, to point that he could no longer jump on my bed.

I lowered it.

Eventually, he would only get his front paws on the lowered bed and had to ask for help.

Later still, he would fall on his way to the bed without being completely picked up.

He was originally upset, and cried to be helped off the bed, where we would sleep.

He later just acted very defeated over his incontinence, when I put the puppy potty training pad down, because I could no longer make it in time or carry him to the door every 2ish hrs. 

I hadn't slept in 3 or 4 months.

Sometimes, I have suffered apneas and woke up in a panic. And, my dog was starting to do that, too.

I am philosophically against euthanasia but did it anyways to save him the panic of suffocation.

And, I still regret doing it.

The animal is put to sleep. Then, something is given to stop breathing, which was the same basic kind of upset I was trying to spare him from.


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Anonymous #8

Re: Putting my dog down [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #28416490 - 08/01/23 04:53 PM (5 months, 25 days ago)

One of my family was too poor, even to put the dog down, but some people prefer to complete it at home.

I had asked my breeder whether the euthanasia potion was available at the ranch store, as were other injections, but he said I was crazy; there is a narcotic.

I have been present for several animals being put down. I see myself being gruesome, but they never seem to get the ratio just perfect.

Quote:


Yeah I've had to do the same with my dog. You have 3 choices:

1. Take care of the dog until it dies naturally.

2. Release the dog into the wild to fend for itself.

3. Put the dog down.



Quote:

His tolerance is increasing quite a bit and this last dose I tripled his normal dose as it went from once a day to twice a day and then it didn't seem to be helping.

On the tripled does he is passed all the way out, he is still breathing but has soiled himself in urine again.




So far as you can judge, without being in his head, it's possible to keep the dog out of discomfort, at different levels of consciousness, using your own drugs.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Putting my dog down [Re: Anonymous #8] * 2
    #28416916 - 08/02/23 12:08 AM (5 months, 24 days ago)

He has went to the happy hunting ground in the sky, or into oblivion, or ceased to be; depending on whatever you believe in.

He was deteriorating quickly. The medication would wear off and he would bark and wine until he got another dose, he didn't really like it tho, and he would take it kind of begrudgingly, he couldn't hardly walk without the medication, the last few times he went outside he tried his best to run away, although he couldn't move very fast. I suspect that he wanted to go away alone to die as animals will do.

I realized almost as soon as he was gone that he had been soiling himself for over a year, and also the reason I didn't take him to the vet wasn't money, that was the excuse i was using,  it was because i didn't want to hear what they were going to tell me, because they would have told me what one of my close friends tried to tell me several times in the last six months, that it was his time. It almost didn't seem like that big of a deal to do all the extra laundry and clean him because I had taken care of my grandmother the last two years of her life and towards the end I had to wash her and change her bedclothes two, sometimes three times a day, until she passed at the end of 2019. So it just seemed kind of normal that you would do something like that for someone you love.

I gave him a bath and then took him around to say goodbye to all the people that knew him well. I took him to several of his favorite parks, one of which I gathered his funeral/grave rocks at. I took him for a little swim in a creek he used to like to jump and play in, I bought him a good steak taco, some peppered beef jerky and let him eat almost a whole pack of cheese slices in one setting, he seemed happy and although he didn't eat all of the cheese slices he did eat most of them, it was almost like he knew it was his last.


I offered him a beer but he didn't want any, we used to drink beer and sometimes brandy together years ago, until I got too tipsy one night and let him drink too much, he got drunk and fell over and after that he wouldn't touch alcohol. He always liked to get high but I didn't get him stoned very often because once he got stoned he turned into a fiend. Pawing at the stash and barking at me every fifteen minutes because he wanted to smoke more.

He was such a good dog, he never chewed up anything he wasn't supposed to and he never got into any groceries or food he wasn't allowed to have. I could leave him in the car with the groceries or any kind of takeout food while I went into another store or made a quick stop and he never would get into anything. He always ask before he would get on furniture at other people's house.  Like I said he saved my life more than once.

I want to thank you guys for helping me through this. I don't know what else to say or do. I feel alone and empty now. I've had a lot of loss in my life so I already know that it's just going take a little time before I feel any better.

As much as it hurts me I know that he was only hanging on as long as he did because he knew that I would be sad and lonely without him, that doesn't comfort me any but I'm just trying to remind myself that even if he could have hung on for another year he would have been miserable. He didn't want his squeak toys or his rope and he had no interest in chasing cats or squirrels anymore. He would fall down when he tried to poop and would need help getting up. Somehow none of this is helping me right now. I could go on and write a few more pages about how sad I am but that won't help me or you any.


I'm going to try and make an effort to be happy and make the most out of the time I have left, i know that's what he would probably want because that is what is best for me. One of my close friends told me not to worry, because he will be waiting for me on the other side of the rainbow bridge, I don't know how true that may be but I like to think there is that possibility.

Thank you guys so much for helping me get through this. You have certainly helped me ease his passing and for that I'm very grateful.  You guys are all some good people and I am blessed to have your words in my life.

Much appreciation and love my brothers.


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