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ilus
Bred in Captivity



Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 3,152
Loc: Around the bend.
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Re: Got a reluctant acceptance to asking coworker out [Re: sudly] 1
#28393942 - 07/12/23 09:23 PM (6 months, 13 days ago) |
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Just remember that rejection honestly isn't a bad thing and might not even have much to do with you. If it doesn't work then it doesn't work and the whole energy balance would be uneven and doomed from the start. I also think you're just now finding out the very beginnings of why you should never date your coworkers. It definitely can get worse.
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,014
Loc: USA
Last seen: 3 hours, 20 minutes
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Re: Got a reluctant acceptance to asking coworker out [Re: Icon]
#28394292 - 07/13/23 10:10 AM (6 months, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icon said:
Doesn't that contradict all of the men in monogamous relationships? Or you just mean single men shouldn't focus only on one? Cuz I've heard men are most attractive when they're off the market and in a committed relationship.
Considering the OP's topic, I was addressing getting a date as set of courtship behaviors. If a woman concludes she is the only option you have, this often makes you less desirable. A man with only one option for a mate is a low value male. High value males have options. We see this phenomenon everywhere. Females implement a lot of discrimination when choosing a mate. As they should. They risk more than men.
Married men might attract many females because these men have demonstrated they have options. When a female marries a male, she is advertising to other females that she has judged her husband to be high value. Single men in clubs are sometimes seen by females as less attractive than a man with a woman on his arm. Women can be quite suspicious of single men.
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Glacia



Registered: 02/28/19
Posts: 224
Loc: The Winterless North
Last seen: 1 day, 13 hours
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Re: Got a reluctant acceptance to asking coworker out [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#28394543 - 07/13/23 03:46 PM (6 months, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
Icon said:
Doesn't that contradict all of the men in monogamous relationships? Or you just mean single men shouldn't focus only on one? Cuz I've heard men are most attractive when they're off the market and in a committed relationship.
Considering the OP's topic, I was addressing getting a date as set of courtship behaviors. If a woman concludes she is the only option you have, this often makes you less desirable. A man with only one option for a mate is a low value male. High value males have options. We see this phenomenon everywhere. Females implement a lot of discrimination when choosing a mate. As they should. They risk more than men.
Married men might attract many females because these men have demonstrated they have options. When a female marries a male, she is advertising to other females that she has judged her husband to be high value. Single men in clubs are sometimes seen by females as less attractive than a man with a woman on his arm. Women can be quite suspicious of single men.
Good point, I agree.
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Joh.Ke
Stranger
Registered: 07/03/23
Posts: 353
Last seen: 31 minutes, 15 seconds
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Re: Got a reluctant acceptance to asking coworker out [Re: Glacia]
#28421705 - 08/05/23 11:05 AM (5 months, 21 days ago) |
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I'd say she's not interested, however she doesn't want to come right out and say that to your face, because she has to work with you. She's already turned you down a few times before, right? Or came up with some kind of excuses. That right there tells me she doesn't like you that way.
And the stuff you mentioned like weird tension...it should be further proof of her lack of interest. When there is attraction on her part, she should be happy to spend time with you and to talk to you. Time spent together shouldn't be awkward like that.
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