And no with Twain's sense of humor he just thought, when bored, to write these fake quotes to famous people at the time which makes me laugh.
All great writers upon health and morals, both ancient and modern, have struggled with this stately subject ; this shows its dignity and importance. Some of these writers have taken one side, some the other.
Homer, in the second book of the Iliad, says with fine enthusiasm, “Give me masturbation or give me death!”
Caesar, in his Commentaries, says, “To the lonely it is company; to the forsaken it is a friend; to the aged and impotent it is a benefactor; they that be penniless are yet rich, in that they still have this majestic diversion.”
Another Caesar said, from a book I read. I usually prefer sodomy but at times..". lol.
[…]
Robinson Crusoe says, “I cannot describe what I owe to this gentle art.”
Queen Elizabeth said, “It is the bulwark of virginity.”
Cetewayo, the Zulu hero, remarked that, “A jerk in the hand is worth two in the bush.”
The immortal Franklin has said, “Masturbation is the mother of invention.” He also said, “Masturbation is the best policy.”
Michelangelo and all the other Old Masters — Old Masters, I will remark, is an abbreviation, a contraction — have used similar language. Michelangelo said to Pope Julius II, “Self-negation is noble, self-culture is beneficent, self-possession is manly, but to the truly great and inspiring soul they are poor and tame compared to self-abuse.”
Twain makes me laugh. Life stories and some fo his writings. "He became more of a biting witty person in his olding age".
No shit. One gets tired of the bullshit and puritan shit he had to write for a living most of his life to make a living.
Shit cracked me up. Really his life story is amazing because he had that early on in his years in life. And fucked with a newspaper in the early, right before press release for his local newspaper and got fired for it, but was tired of the phonyness of if. His life was interesting. And I got why he took the last name Twain to measure depths but never could use it in the mighty Mississip, and do your own research for those that are interested.
Think last published in 1976. History, learn. Our heroes were actually human beings.
|