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Anonymous #1

Breaking up with my girl who has severe social anxiety disorder and depression
    #28375548 - 06/26/23 04:38 PM (6 months, 30 days ago)

Hello shroomers,

I have posted about my relationship in the past, we met during our drug-use years... i was using shrooms mdma and acid she was a cocain slut. I tried to pull her out of it and with success, but she wasnt really fond of psychoactives... So we both ended up giving up our drugs of choice, in order to live a compatible life...

The problem was that when the great hangover washed away, she was left with severe social anxiety disorder, to the point that never attended social gatherings, situations etc. we never had common friends or friends at all, she generally avoided humans as much as possible, which in turn made me avoid all the above as well... I got so used to this life style that i can barely see if breaking up with her is something i should be happy about of freak out about. My family and friends feel sorry about me having to deal with this difficult relationship, i enjoy her company and our sex. Things stared to take a darker tone in teh last few years between us, she has alot of anxiety depression and anger going on, recently (2 months ago) she started taking fluoxetine to help her with her condition, she didnt feel much different tho, but the anger outbursts got a bit more frequent imo. She gets extremelly offended when i answer to her anger using words that characterize her personality, even tho they might be said during a verbal argument.    Now we broke up once again, but i am feeling like a wreck and so hopelessly addicted to this relationship....can't find the courage to get my life rolling as single again...  :frown:


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InvisibleCreonAntigone
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Registered: 05/30/21
Posts: 2,875
Re: Breaking up with my girl who has severe social anxiety disorder and depression [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #28375566 - 06/26/23 04:53 PM (6 months, 30 days ago)

You were living different lives anyhow. You wanted to be free and out there, and she didn't support you in that. Now that you've broken up, time to invest in yourself, in your friends and all the stuff you couldn't do.

I am sympathetic to mental health concerns, but it's someone's responsibility to get to a point where they're not negatively impacting others. If she was healthier, she could've let you have your life and let you live as you want. But it sounds like she would want to drag you to whatever socially anxious place she was in. That's not healthy.

Healthy relationships can involve people mutually reinforcing and supporting each other's faults, helping when they are down. But it sounds like she wasn't able to support the things you needed to make YOU healthy. That's not just an anxiety thing, it sounds like a selfishness thing.

It will take time to feel better, but you sound like you're in a better spot now. You can hope she gets healthier and even stay in occasional contact, but just don't let her drag you down with her.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Breaking up with my girl who has severe social anxiety disorder and depression [Re: CreonAntigone]
    #28376151 - 06/27/23 06:39 AM (6 months, 29 days ago)

Thanks for your words, they really resonate with what is going on in my life right now and i deeply apreciate your advice. :happyheart:


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OfflinePandaskis
Eating Bamboo
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Registered: 03/14/23
Posts: 1,869
Last seen: 1 month, 1 day
Re: Breaking up with my girl who has severe social anxiety disorder and depression [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #28377484 - 06/28/23 08:19 AM (6 months, 28 days ago)

Sounded kinda co-dependent, i would watch for that with future partners (or with her if you decide to get back together), im not going to tell you whats the wrong or right thing to do, just an observation.

If your partner has social anxiety and doesn't want to interact with people, that shouldnt stop you from doing it, draw a boundary between who you are and who they are. Often leading by example is the best way to go in those situations, you can be compassionate and understanding about her situation, but you have to also make it clear that you won't allow them to drag you down with them, rather you'd much rather pull them up if at all possible.


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