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Anonymous #1

Resigned from job after bizarre boss encounter * 1
    #28329976 - 05/22/23 01:12 PM (8 months, 3 days ago)

So just thought to share this as it was oddly pretty traumatic (as dramatic as that sounds).

I worked for a tiny company for 4 months, who's boss was a total control freak and a narcissist, while being often charming, caring and friendly. Constant decision reversals and credit-taking every single day, as well as an obsession with cleanliness and tidiness, despite being a clutz himself. A real daily headfuck and actually made me pretty ill (I have pretty bad anxiety and clinical depression already, which he knew about.)


Anyway he called me up to his office, and told me about a dream he'd had that night and why it meant he was changing the latest strategy, while I frantically and nervously took notes. So I was already on edge and pretty jumpy by this point.
After I thought he'd finished, i got up to be told SIT! (like a fucking dog).

He then sat down, and proceeded to tell me, directly, that I STINK. That's right. 'Literally?', I laughed, thinking he meant my work(?). My work is just fine, he said, but you STINK. You REEK, right now. I know full well I don't at all, but he continued for the next 15-20 minutes, one-to-one, breaking me apart, and going into horrifying detail. He asked me how often I shower, he asked me if i had been rough sleeping, how often I change my underwear etc. He said he knew everywhere Id been because of the trail of stench I left behind. He said its like I have an 'aura of bacteria', and he was concerned i was dirtying the 'expensive' office chairs and carpets.

'But your work is great, we value you, and you have a promising and long future here at 'X'', along with a gentle pat on the leg, and shoulder when i finally got up to leave his office.

I sat, absolutely mortified, insulted and angry/upset inside, and totally humiliated when i had to tell the story to my bewildered colleagues when they asked why i hadn't spoken or eaten or drank the entire rest of the afternoon. My line manager sent me home early, where I immediately put my entire wardrobe through a hot wash and hoovered my whole house. I felt fucking tiny, and dirty.

Now, you are probably thinking wow this guy must really stink or have a hygiene problem. I'm 35 and never in my entire life have i ever been 'the smelly guy' (we all know one). Period. Even after I've camped 3 days without showering or run a 10k in the sun. That's what makes it bizarre. So bizzare I've even seriously thought I'd gone mad and imagined the whole thing, then resigned. Derealization I think its called, a symptom of chronic anxiety.

My only explanation is that maybe it's because I don't comb my hair and I drive an old campervan, like he's built his perception of me up as some kind of dirty hippy scum.

I know it shouldn't, but its really fucked my already rather fucked, depressive, chronically anxious brain.

Anyway, I resigned the very next day, and I'm now unemployed, depressed, and slightly traumatised by the last 4 months then the above, which isnt a good place to be.

I realise this is probably just a vent post, just interested to hear thoughts. What would you have done?


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Anonymous #2

Re: Resigned from job after bizarre boss encounter [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28330024 - 05/22/23 01:57 PM (8 months, 3 days ago)

I'd tell him he's a dumb POS who literally doesn't know anything about humanity, and that rudeness isn't how you help people.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Resigned from job after bizarre boss encounter [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28330040 - 05/22/23 02:10 PM (8 months, 3 days ago)

Seems like a bit much to have to take from a boss. 

I,  too, quit a job after seeing bosses character and taking note to how be effecting my life.  I am broke from money of job.  Other things can be doing.

Best of luck finding a better boss to work for.


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Anonymous #4

Re: Resigned from job after bizarre boss encounter [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28330722 - 05/23/23 03:03 AM (8 months, 2 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
So just thought to share this as it was oddly pretty traumatic (as dramatic as that sounds).

I worked for a tiny company for 4 months, who's boss was a total control freak and a narcissist, while being often charming, caring and friendly. Constant decision reversals and credit-taking every single day, as well as an obsession with cleanliness and tidiness, despite being a clutz himself. A real daily headfuck and actually made me pretty ill (I have pretty bad anxiety and clinical depression already, which he knew about.)


Anyway he called me up to his office, and told me about a dream he'd had that night and why it meant he was changing the latest strategy, while I frantically and nervously took notes. So I was already on edge and pretty jumpy by this point.
After I thought he'd finished, i got up to be told SIT! (like a fucking dog).

He then sat down, and proceeded to tell me, directly, that I STINK. That's right. 'Literally?', I laughed, thinking he meant my work(?). My work is just fine, he said, but you STINK. You REEK, right now. I know full well I don't at all, but he continued for the next 15-20 minutes, one-to-one, breaking me apart, and going into horrifying detail. He asked me how often I shower, he asked me if i had been rough sleeping, how often I change my underwear etc. He said he knew everywhere Id been because of the trail of stench I left behind. He said its like I have an 'aura of bacteria', and he was concerned i was dirtying the 'expensive' office chairs and carpets.

'But your work is great, we value you, and you have a promising and long future here at 'X'', along with a gentle pat on the leg, and shoulder when i finally got up to leave his office.

I sat, absolutely mortified, insulted and angry/upset inside, and totally humiliated when i had to tell the story to my bewildered colleagues when they asked why i hadn't spoken or eaten or drank the entire rest of the afternoon. My line manager sent me home early, where I immediately put my entire wardrobe through a hot wash and hoovered my whole house. I felt fucking tiny, and dirty.

Now, you are probably thinking wow this guy must really stink or have a hygiene problem. I'm 35 and never in my entire life have i ever been 'the smelly guy' (we all know one). Period. Even after I've camped 3 days without showering or run a 10k in the sun. That's what makes it bizarre. So bizzare I've even seriously thought I'd gone mad and imagined the whole thing, then resigned. Derealization I think its called, a symptom of chronic anxiety.

My only explanation is that maybe it's because I don't comb my hair and I drive an old campervan, like he's built his perception of me up as some kind of dirty hippy scum.

I know it shouldn't, but its really fucked my already rather fucked, depressive, chronically anxious brain.

Anyway, I resigned the very next day, and I'm now unemployed, depressed, and slightly traumatised by the last 4 months then the above, which isnt a good place to be.

I realise this is probably just a vent post, just interested to hear thoughts. What would you have done?






you totally got taken for a ride by a stereotypical serial abuser.

Maybe he did it so you'd quit, maybe ke hoped he could kick your self esteem in so he could keep you down by maintenance abuse.

I have suffered this fate.

its good you quit.

If your next employer asks, tell him exactly what happened and how predatorial it felt, bosses are more likely to know this type because its more common in management.


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Anonymous #5

Re: Resigned from job after bizarre boss encounter [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #28330805 - 05/23/23 05:33 AM (8 months, 2 days ago)

I would have roasted the guy so hard. Why quit so quickly anyway? You could have made his life miserable for a few weeks while looking for a new job. I would at least call him up and tell him what I think of him. Lmao


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Anonymous #1

Re: Resigned from job after bizarre boss encounter [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #28330842 - 05/23/23 06:49 AM (8 months, 2 days ago)

Consider that the previous 4 months working for him had been hell and I was already in a bad place. I didn’t have the energy to stay in the job and ‘stick it to him’.
Being a c**t aside, he was sharp as a razor. Not worth it imo.


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Anonymous #6

Re: Resigned from job after bizarre boss encounter [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28335875 - 05/26/23 05:16 PM (7 months, 30 days ago)

He secretly wants to fuck you - he's into stinky people - turns him on :smirk:

TBH that is the impression I got..!

Weirdo.

Good luck at your new job etc! 👍:super:


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