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Offlinesaintdextro
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Registered: 01/03/15
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Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer.
    #28323603 - 05/17/23 04:54 PM (8 months, 7 days ago)

I hear voice's inside my head and inside my ears, I can see these character's inside my mind and they over the past few years it seems to be like 90% of them look like monsters, demons, satanist, etc.

But my question is about a nice day while I waited for a Bus 3 years ago, I had about 3 or 4 hours before the Bus would leave so I sat Indian style against the building, reading a familiar book by Eckhart Tolle called "the Power of Now!". And often took breaks to meditate, I was also inebriated on a good size dose of Adderall mixed with good size dose of Gabapentin, my favorite combo. But I was awake and passively alert, highly mindful and bursting on ecstatic peace! I was hearing and seeing in my mind what looked and sounded like the popular european Jesus were all so familiar with. But scary-like and confusing as your worst nightmare, he kept saying I was going to hell and I was evil. He didn't say many worded sentences, but it was consistent narration with the theme "I hate you!". But I was Equanimously Ecstatic just absorbed into a bigger view of the world and life. as I meditated it brought me to a higher state of Consciousness. The schizo voice's I hear in my perception I saw were insignificant and seemingly empty of reality, even my own thoughts I recognized as a very small part of my mind and whatever I was viewing at the time. Consciousness was bigger than the so-called Jesus, however, he continuously harangued me all along on the one of the best meditation sessions I've ever had! For the record, I didn't reach Samadhi and though I glowed with joy for a while after and for long time I could just remember that state of being above thought and schizo-voices and I would become calm and fearless, actually it's even better, thinking about that experience always makes me Optimistic and Hopeful,,, My question to your God (or you if you want to answer some of it, Asante. In fact, the whole Shroomery is invited to help or question or complain at your freedom here! :grin:) My memories are getting harder and harder to remember the older I get, and I still occasionally hear a random, angry voice shout something like "You failed! go to Hell!", I know the answer and I think is right, and that's practice Meditation again! you used to to do it all day, everyday. Now you only did a couple Pranayama's over the past few months, get back on that horse, boy! And in fact it was my best quality, I was a Meditator!

But I got to ask, Asante, and to your God that is, Why was I hearing Jesus say I'm going to Hell and various other threats about crushing a life-long Hope for Heaven?


--------------------
"He who finds peace and joy
And radiance within himself
That man becomes one with God
And vanishes into God's bliss."

-Bhagavad Gita, 5.24
One 21 - Building Better Bombs
One 21 - Pacified
One 21 - Two Sides Is Fine
"Respectability is a cloak for the hypocrite" - Jiddu Krishnamurti


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OfflineBuster_Brown
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Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: saintdextro]
    #28323630 - 05/17/23 05:13 PM (8 months, 7 days ago)

Guilt complex

"Carry the Cross of My Shame” -U2

What do you feel guilty for? Let's hear it.


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Offlinesaintdextro
Entheogen psychonaut
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Registered: 01/03/15
Posts: 584
Last seen: 7 months, 9 days
Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: Buster_Brown]
    #28323669 - 05/17/23 05:42 PM (8 months, 7 days ago)

wtf! that's a good interpretation, I do feel guilty. I do feel guilty about all sorts of things from all over my life, killing spiders for fun as a kid and putting salt on slugs (I was worst than Hitler). my sexual exploration as a kid hitting puberty, I wanted to fuck everything! or my only Girlfriend I had in this life when I was 19, who I neglected and probably scared because I became schizo a week or two into our love experience. life sucks because I suck. :crazy:


--------------------
"He who finds peace and joy
And radiance within himself
That man becomes one with God
And vanishes into God's bliss."

-Bhagavad Gita, 5.24
One 21 - Building Better Bombs
One 21 - Pacified
One 21 - Two Sides Is Fine
"Respectability is a cloak for the hypocrite" - Jiddu Krishnamurti


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OfflineBuster_Brown
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Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: saintdextro]
    #28323701 - 05/17/23 06:00 PM (8 months, 7 days ago)

Jesus as an analogy of being nailed to your cross of shame, and the confessional as contrition in depth (if you can find a priest who will listen) might be worth serious thought.


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InvisibleAsante
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,793
Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: saintdextro]
    #28326596 - 05/19/23 05:26 PM (8 months, 5 days ago)

Quote:

saintdextro said:
I hear voice's inside my head and inside my ears, I can see these character's inside my mind and they over the past few years it seems to be like 90% of them look like monsters, demons, satanist, etc.

But my question is about a nice day while I waited for a Bus 3 years ago, I had about 3 or 4 hours before the Bus would leave so I sat Indian style against the building, reading a familiar book by Eckhart Tolle called "the Power of Now!". And often took breaks to meditate, I was also inebriated on a good size dose of Adderall mixed with good size dose of Gabapentin, my favorite combo. But I was awake and passively alert, highly mindful and bursting on ecstatic peace! I was hearing and seeing in my mind what looked and sounded like the popular european Jesus were all so familiar with. But scary-like and confusing as your worst nightmare, he kept saying I was going to hell and I was evil. He didn't say many worded sentences, but it was consistent narration with the theme "I hate you!". But I was Equanimously Ecstatic just absorbed into a bigger view of the world and life. as I meditated it brought me to a higher state of Consciousness. The schizo voice's I hear in my perception I saw were insignificant and seemingly empty of reality, even my own thoughts I recognized as a very small part of my mind and whatever I was viewing at the time. Consciousness was bigger than the so-called Jesus, however, he continuously harangued me all along on the one of the best meditation sessions I've ever had! For the record, I didn't reach Samadhi and though I glowed with joy for a while after and for long time I could just remember that state of being above thought and schizo-voices and I would become calm and fearless, actually it's even better, thinking about that experience always makes me Optimistic and Hopeful,,, My question to your God (or you if you want to answer some of it, Asante. In fact, the whole Shroomery is invited to help or question or complain at your freedom here! :grin:) My memories are getting harder and harder to remember the older I get, and I still occasionally hear a random, angry voice shout something like "You failed! go to Hell!", I know the answer and I think is right, and that's practice Meditation again! you used to to do it all day, everyday. Now you only did a couple Pranayama's over the past few months, get back on that horse, boy! And in fact it was my best quality, I was a Meditator!

But I got to ask, Asante, and to your God that is, Why was I hearing Jesus say I'm going to Hell and various other threats about crushing a life-long Hope for Heaven?





according to upstairs: "That wasn't Jesus, that was your fear masquerading as a false Jesus, which you recognized. Iesus is about love and forgiveness. Adderal anmd gabapentin are potent diostorters of inner voices."


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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Offlinesaintdextro
Entheogen psychonaut
Male


Registered: 01/03/15
Posts: 584
Last seen: 7 months, 9 days
Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: Asante]
    #28327139 - 05/20/23 05:34 AM (8 months, 5 days ago)

thank's for asking! while addies and gabs do change perception/conciousness (addies even are taught to psychologist not to give to schizophrenics, it makes it  worse.) I think it helps my schizo stuff, less voices less confusion and less pain. it's the adictive part that's hard for me. (I could be defensive and you all probably offensive against there use, which I respect, I need people like that in my life. I am trying to quit, unless I had a script again. I only go on a binge once a month nowadays.)


--------------------
"He who finds peace and joy
And radiance within himself
That man becomes one with God
And vanishes into God's bliss."

-Bhagavad Gita, 5.24
One 21 - Building Better Bombs
One 21 - Pacified
One 21 - Two Sides Is Fine
"Respectability is a cloak for the hypocrite" - Jiddu Krishnamurti


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InvisibleAsante
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,793
Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: saintdextro]
    #28327947 - 05/20/23 06:44 PM (8 months, 4 days ago)

according to the big guy:

Quote:

I would have never seduced Asante into drugs and Shroomery adminship if I weren't an explicit proponent of responsible use of medicinal substances, drugs. Several religions ban certain intocicants, but these are rules imposed by God on the devotees to become stronger in their faith and selfdiscipline.

For the degree adderal and gabapentin add to the quality of your life, they are welcome, but excessive use is very harmful.

Addiction must be prevented and cut short at the soonest convenience.

The God of All Things is also the God of Drugs and Pharmacology, that aims to turn toxins in the environment into medicines.




--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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Onlinesyncro
Registered: 01/14/15
Posts: 2,696
Last seen: 7 minutes, 1 second
Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: Asante]
    #28327965 - 05/20/23 06:55 PM (8 months, 4 days ago)

The body seems to have a life of its own around addictions.


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Onlinesyncro
Registered: 01/14/15
Posts: 2,696
Last seen: 7 minutes, 1 second
Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: syncro]
    #28327971 - 05/20/23 07:00 PM (8 months, 4 days ago)

Nisargadatta apparently never kicked tobacco saying it's a habit of the body. Meat as well I think too which is unusual for an advaitin teacher in India. Great influence though.


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Onlinesyncro
Registered: 01/14/15
Posts: 2,696
Last seen: 7 minutes, 1 second
Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: syncro]
    #28328813 - 05/21/23 01:23 PM (8 months, 3 days ago)

One question related that was sent - inquiry has been going on about it and here offered.

"Where is the Will to make the body without addictions?"

That coming back as we don't believe in our offerings, ourselves, the good and high thoughts that we have and better those intentional ways of remembrance that are assured to be eternal, now.

"you have no idea how great the strength that goes with you" "its might, so great it reaches past the stars and to the universe that lies beyond them" (acim)


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Offlinesaintdextro
Entheogen psychonaut
Male


Registered: 01/03/15
Posts: 584
Last seen: 7 months, 9 days
Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: syncro]
    #28332784 - 05/24/23 03:02 PM (8 months, 17 hours ago)

Thanks everyone that responded! Especially you Asante! and your "God" I think I'm supposed to thank. lol :grin:

It's most likely a Fear, Guilt, Test I went through,,, there's evidence in my past personal experiences that the Voice's I heard that day were nothing to fear, Previously to that day I remember waiting on a buddy of mine and the Jesus character told me "if your friend shows up, than I'm the real Jesus". My friend didn't show up. it was several weeks later that I saw my friend. what does that tell ya? Ever since than the Voice has been sometimes nice and giving me hope in my self or the exact opposite... in the end it was kind of a dumb question to even ask you all about this Voice, I just get so confused with all the crap in my head that I don't think rationally, thanks for the advice, and thanks for caring! :smile:

(to be fair for my part, the voice's have predicted a couple things that came true that just couldn't be done by anyone I know. Thus the problem with schizophrenia, some of it's true, some of it's not, in my experience.)


--------------------
"He who finds peace and joy
And radiance within himself
That man becomes one with God
And vanishes into God's bliss."

-Bhagavad Gita, 5.24
One 21 - Building Better Bombs
One 21 - Pacified
One 21 - Two Sides Is Fine
"Respectability is a cloak for the hypocrite" - Jiddu Krishnamurti


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OfflineFishOilTheKid
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Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: saintdextro]
    #28332879 - 05/24/23 03:47 PM (8 months, 16 hours ago)

Self acceptance could be pivotal here...  I too am diagnosed with schizophrenia and have found that if I block certain things that I'm not acknowledging they are stared away from me then turn into autonomous voices.  If I force self acceptance the voice reveals itself to originate with what I am blocking.  Maybe this helps?


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Offlinesaintdextro
Entheogen psychonaut
Male


Registered: 01/03/15
Posts: 584
Last seen: 7 months, 9 days
Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: FishOilTheKid]
    #28333126 - 05/24/23 06:53 PM (8 months, 13 hours ago)

Interesting! I've struggled on a medication I was on a few years ago, it made me crazier than ever. Malicious voice's/forces attempting to control my thoughts, they would inspire things like "God is evil!" or "I hate Jesus!" but I wouldn't finish there sentences, partly you have to understand was because it was using my ability to think, whatever faculty that's called the evil hijacked it and tried making me think thoughts that were not mine, but I had greater control. And than it got worse when they made me say "I do!" to blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I don't think Jesus will hold me accountable for that, if you could read my mind at the time or even as I remember how it happened nowadays, you all would probably agree I'm at least innocent of that sin (although no doubt I offended God in my thoughts more than several times down the line of my life.) But it was torture, mental torture is probably less painful than physical torture, when God made me he must of asked which I prefer less of, because I got it, and I got it bad!

But my point in relation to resisting thoughts is that they come up again and again, even if you stop and face the unwanted thought, practice acceptance and all that, didn't work, I don't even remember the name of the medication that seemed to give more capabilities to the normal voice's, I know it was an anti-depressant that was big in the 90's,,, Paxil, maybe? but I have to look the word up again but not long ago I came across a word for the in-between states of falling asleep or waking up, and it's true about that state, your fear's or resistance's will manifest during that time, I would finally seem to be asleep from being tormented by thought controllers, and I'll see a dream like vision of a man telling another man "I Blaspheme the Holy Ghost!", and it seemed startling real enough, and so very relatable to my struggle, you wake strait up questioning if you might of accidentally blasphemed the Holy Spirit, this went on for months before I discovered it was the anti-depressant, I Noticed when my doc lowered the dose I was taking, the Mind/Thought control lessened, so I quit it than and there. Got better near immediately, maybe a few weeks without it, I was back to normal schizo level,,, the anti-depressant did help with my mood though, but Demon possession isn't worth it. lol.


--------------------
"He who finds peace and joy
And radiance within himself
That man becomes one with God
And vanishes into God's bliss."

-Bhagavad Gita, 5.24
One 21 - Building Better Bombs
One 21 - Pacified
One 21 - Two Sides Is Fine
"Respectability is a cloak for the hypocrite" - Jiddu Krishnamurti


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: FishOilTheKid]
    #28333153 - 05/24/23 07:17 PM (8 months, 12 hours ago)

Quote:

FishOilTheKid said:
Self acceptance could be pivotal here...  I too am diagnosed with schizophrenia and have found that if I block certain things that I'm not acknowledging they are stared away from me then turn into autonomous voices.  If I force self acceptance the voice reveals itself to originate with what I am blocking.  Maybe this helps?






this will be highly relatable.

its genuine.

Ren was bit by a tick, suffered brain dame resulting in psychosis resulting in a ten year tug of war.

Performed together with his voice, in one take.



--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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OfflineFishOilTheKid
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Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: saintdextro]
    #28333272 - 05/24/23 08:22 PM (8 months, 11 hours ago)

I've felt the same way on certain anitpsychotics...  Like they make it all worse.  Invega is the only thing that I've found that doesn't fog my brain, make me gain weight, or make it worse.  It seems like anything that really bogs you down...  That is really more sedating is just handing over power.  I too feel controlled, and like I'm going through possession at times.  I deal with voices constantly.  Lately, its as if they are in fact people whereas before it might have been like surfing the barrier of the collective mind...  They experience me, people it seems, up above them and they have been latching onto my energy body.  They pull on the back of my head constantly and try to climb up over me.  Its all very overwhelming at times.  They are heard very clearly!  They think that I'm up in their Heaven, etc.  And, they try to pull me down to get up and around me.  I wish you the best, peace.


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OfflineFishOilTheKid
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Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: Asante]
    #28333283 - 05/24/23 08:27 PM (8 months, 11 hours ago)

Quote:

Asante said:
Quote:

FishOilTheKid said:
Self acceptance could be pivotal here...  I too am diagnosed with schizophrenia and have found that if I block certain things that I'm not acknowledging they are stared away from me then turn into autonomous voices.  If I force self acceptance the voice reveals itself to originate with what I am blocking.  Maybe this helps?






this will be highly relatable.

its genuine.

Ren was bit by a tick, suffered brain dame resulting in psychosis resulting in a ten year tug of war.

Performed together with his voice, in one take.






I saw this on fb not too long ago...!!  LOVE IT!!  Thanks for posting.


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Invisibledurian_2008
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Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: saintdextro]
    #28353184 - 06/09/23 11:40 AM (7 months, 15 days ago)

Quote:

saintdextro said:
I was hearing and seeing in my mind what looked and sounded like the popular european Jesus were all so familiar with. But scary-like and confusing as your worst nightmare, he kept saying I was going to hell and I was evil. He didn't say many worded sentences, but it was consistent narration with the theme "I hate you!"...



Quote:

2 Corinthians 11 said:
...for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.




for reference --
https://www.bibleinfo.com/en/questions/how-can-one-recognize-false-christ


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Onlinesyncro
Registered: 01/14/15
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Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: durian_2008]
    #28354211 - 06/10/23 08:21 AM (7 months, 14 days ago)

That's happened in my mind from time to time. I was walking at a park that was adjacent to a farm with older structures, over grown and dilapidated. A ghost got projected or was there. The guy had major anger in the vibrational, a demonic type of feeling, and he looked just like Jesus, harassing me. Granted with long hair and a beard your average pilgrim can look like Jesus. It's happened other times internally, forms of Jesus or other holy ones coming across as demonic.

The psyop shit happens when we are convinced we can't trust ourselves, and I suppose at times we can get that vibe, religious, other paranoia. What a convenient political tool.


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Invisibledurian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant
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Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: syncro]
    #28354231 - 06/10/23 08:50 AM (7 months, 14 days ago)

Quote:

1 John 4 said:
Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world.




It is believed that spirits inform people who have the gift of prophecy,  or who are somewhat schizoid, or drug addled.

Some spirits come, bearing gifts, opening doors, and granting status.

Quote:

Harold Camping was an American Christian radio broadcaster and evangelist born on July 19, 1921, in Boulder, Colorado.02 He earned a degree in civil engineering from the University of California, Berkeley, in 1942. Camping served as president of Family Radio, a California-based radio station group that, at its peak, broadcasted to more than 150 markets in the United States. Camping's brimstone-ridden sermons stoked an international media frenzy in 2011 after his Armageddon prophecies coursed through the Internet and social media.2 He died on December 15, 2013, at his home in Alameda, California, at the age of 92. Camping's brimstone-ridden sermons stirred consternation, ecstasy, complaints to the Federal Communications Commission, and widespread ridicule by repeatedly prophesying the end of the world twice in 2011. Camping retired from his radio work when the October prediction did not come true.




Not all of these ministries turn out like the Branch Davidians.

Quote:

Construction on the new headquarters / broadcast facility was completed in January 2020.




Maybe, you were more perceptive than so many cult leaders, who didn't perceive their spirit guide muttering strange, blasphemous things out of the corner of his mouth. :shrug:


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Onlinesyncro
Registered: 01/14/15
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Last seen: 7 minutes, 1 second
Re: Hey Asante! I got a personal question for your God to answer. [Re: durian_2008]
    #28354266 - 06/10/23 09:26 AM (7 months, 14 days ago)

How do we test the spirit if we hold a universal view spiritually, get a form of Krishna or Buddha to confess Christ? I've been through some of that, the knots we can get ourselves into, therefore the usefulness of grading qualities. Then the handlers say you can't trust your own bliss or peace.

It seems often there are not solutions to these modes of thought, therefore the contextual purification, of bodies, the witness, etc.


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