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Pinkerton
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Registered: 02/26/19
Posts: 3,127
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: redgreenvines]
#28350952 - 06/07/23 02:02 PM (7 months, 18 days ago) |
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It is all inside my brain.
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Pinkerton
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Registered: 02/26/19
Posts: 3,127
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28352089 - 06/08/23 12:47 PM (7 months, 17 days ago) |
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Not much happiness today. The evil thoughts were symptomatic and for some moments they started bursting out.
And, guess what!? My counting and breathing seemed to counter them.
RGVs if you are the solution to all of this, I certainly take my hat off.
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28352108 - 06/08/23 01:01 PM (7 months, 17 days ago) |
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There is no good reason to label any type of thoughts "evil"
“What you resist not only persists - but will grow in size.”
Carl Jung
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Pinkerton
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Registered: 02/26/19
Posts: 3,127
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#28352116 - 06/08/23 01:11 PM (7 months, 17 days ago) |
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There is no good reason to label any type of thoughts "evil"
If my thoughts are profoundly immoral and wicked they are evil.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28352124 - 06/08/23 01:23 PM (7 months, 17 days ago) |
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a little bit of evil is ok, sometimes when you see it you want to go the other way, sometimes it is just debris and you can drive right over it.
@Pinky, you can count on me for somethings, but the work is up to you. good work.
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28352125 - 06/08/23 01:23 PM (7 months, 17 days ago) |
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Sounds like a symptom of self-loathing.
(disgust with oneself and the feeling that one is detestable)
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Pinkerton
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Registered: 02/26/19
Posts: 3,127
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: redgreenvines]
#28352136 - 06/08/23 01:31 PM (7 months, 17 days ago) |
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: a little bit of evil is ok, sometimes when you see it you want to go the other way, sometimes it is just debris and you can drive right over it.
@Pinky, you can count on me for somethings, but the work is up to you. good work.
I have no idea how i might take over the world without power-ups. It is like I am a mere particle in a giant ocean.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28352222 - 06/08/23 02:33 PM (7 months, 17 days ago) |
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see if you can download some Pinky and the Brain it comes with Animaniacs they do it every day and every night "take over the world"

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Pinkerton
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Posts: 3,127
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: redgreenvines]
#28353223 - 06/09/23 12:29 PM (7 months, 16 days ago) |
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Oh boy, today was bad. 
Most of the time I could not fully stay calm enough to count and breathe. And if I did start it felt like it was working against me and made moi more anxious (feeling in stomach). Like you wrote RGVs, it is not always easy in regards to meditation. Here is the thing: I am pretty certain the counting and breathing has helped the other days.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28353228 - 06/09/23 12:40 PM (7 months, 16 days ago) |
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It is a fair way to engage the mind, which otherwise reflexes in habituated ways. You can do a lot with it, building calm and building patience as well, then it gets deeper, and provides more confidence, etc.
so, good work pinky.
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Pinkerton
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Registered: 02/26/19
Posts: 3,127
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: redgreenvines]
#28353233 - 06/09/23 12:48 PM (7 months, 16 days ago) |
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Thank you, Sir. 
What you are saying is to keep counting and breathing while having bad intrusive/racing thoughts? Or should I stop if it is overwhelming.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton] 1
#28353244 - 06/09/23 01:03 PM (7 months, 16 days ago) |
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try to keep up the practice, if overwhelmed by distraction, slowly get up and gently go and wash your face with cool water, then dry off and return to your practice. or, slowly get up and walk around the room then resume the practice, do not judge yourself. the strength that you are resisting is your own strength, something that you have developed and can be proud of but when it works against your meditation, you are a formidable opponent to yourself. remain calm, and tolerant and non-judgemental of yourself.
how do you calm down a stallion that is rearing, persistence, gentleness, confidence, patience.
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Pinkerton
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Registered: 02/26/19
Posts: 3,127
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: redgreenvines]
#28357045 - 06/12/23 12:37 PM (7 months, 13 days ago) |
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Thanks for your suggestions. I had some intrusive/racing thoughts today but I countered them with the counting and breathing.
It is like I am building a wall in my stomach and it seems to get stronger and stronger. I get less jumpy. And I like to think the stewdent is ready when my stomach is a solid wall.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28357155 - 06/12/23 02:15 PM (7 months, 13 days ago) |
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Walls can be useful, gentle awareness is useful. In the mean time the breath is very useful.
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