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hTx
(:



Registered: 03/27/13
Posts: 5,724
Loc: Space-time
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton] 1
#28317902 - 05/13/23 12:33 AM (8 months, 12 days ago) |
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I’ve given up drugs (including weed) and alcohol completely sober for the past 6 months and it’s been awesome.
I didn’t want to but also wanted to see if I could do it because it was time for a change. “Even my momma thinks that my mind is gone”
-------------------- zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes Light up the darkness.
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Pinkerton
Ultrasentient

Registered: 02/26/19
Posts: 3,127
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28335636 - 05/26/23 02:06 PM (7 months, 30 days ago) |
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Quote:
Pinkerton said: It feels like I get less and less of this sucky feeling in the stomach - like when one get frightened and/or humiliated. It is like my stomach turns into a wall.
That feeling or less of a feeling in my belly feels like it is getting stronger by the day.
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Rahz
Alive Again



Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,229
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28335732 - 05/26/23 03:15 PM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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That's good (less of that feeling is getting stronger) if that's what you mean. Keep practicing self patience and being okay with where you are. The more you see improvement the easier it gets even when you have bad days.
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28336202 - 05/26/23 09:51 PM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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Quote:
Pinkerton said:
Quote:
Pinkerton said: It feels like I get less and less of this sucky feeling in the stomach - like when one get frightened and/or humiliated. It is like my stomach turns into a wall.
That feeling or less of a feeling in my belly feels like it is getting stronger by the day.
you are obsessing. your relief is possible via getting into the moment, as previously, and laborously described to you. Otherwise your obsession becomes consolidation of your obsession.
your poor guts need relief from all that fractal obsessing. I agree, it a royally fucked situation.
If it were possible to establish and practice patience etc. as mentioned by Rahz, I would support his recommendation, but all I can safely say is to go into the moment and watch mental contents shifting at 1/10th of a second while following the breathing in and out.
Patience can come out of it as a by product. in the same way you cannot practice happiness by smiling, but that too may come out of this as a by product.
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Rahz
Alive Again



Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,229
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: redgreenvines]
#28336300 - 05/26/23 10:48 PM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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Suffering is one thing. Being upset about it is another. If staying in the moment and breathing ends the feedback loop of being upset adding to the suffering I would suggest that is patience.
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Rahz] 1
#28336348 - 05/26/23 11:41 PM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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Quote:
Rahz said: Suffering is one thing. Being upset about it is another. If staying in the moment and breathing ends the feedback loop of being upset adding to the suffering I would suggest that is patience.
then we agree but speak different languages for me patience involves waiting, while the practice of observing mental contents is immediacy to the greatest extent, not waiting.
note, mental contents may include words, but most of it is fragments of sensation on all channels and fragmentary bits of feeling - torrents, very immediate, one has to relax into the torrent.
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Pinkerton
Ultrasentient

Registered: 02/26/19
Posts: 3,127
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: redgreenvines]
#28336407 - 05/27/23 01:49 AM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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Quote:
redgreenvines said:
Quote:
Pinkerton said:
Quote:
Pinkerton said: It feels like I get less and less of this sucky feeling in the stomach - like when one get frightened and/or humiliated. It is like my stomach turns into a wall.
That feeling or less of a feeling in my belly feels like it is getting stronger by the day.
you are obsessing. your relief is possible via getting into the moment, as previously, and laborously described to you. Otherwise your obsession becomes consolidation of your obsession.
your poor guts need relief from all that fractal obsessing. I agree, it a royally fucked situation.
If it were possible to establish and practice patience etc. as mentioned by Rahz, I would support his recommendation, but all I can safely say is to go into the moment and watch mental contents shifting at 1/10th of a second while following the breathing in and out.
Patience can come out of it as a by product. in the same way you cannot practice happiness by smiling, but that too may come out of this as a by product.
Less of that sucky feeling getting stronger (like Rahz put it) is a good thing I believe.
Yes, my situation is royally fucked. 
I still have no idea how to get in the moment...
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,555
Loc: Utah
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28336420 - 05/27/23 02:05 AM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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Every drug I ever gave up, part of me wanted to keep using. That's part of why I gave them up.
Part of being an adult is wanting something and giving it up.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28336439 - 05/27/23 02:30 AM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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Quote:
Pinkerton said:
Quote:
redgreenvines said:
Quote:
Pinkerton said:
Quote:
Pinkerton said: It feels like I get less and less of this sucky feeling in the stomach - like when one get frightened and/or humiliated. It is like my stomach turns into a wall.
That feeling or less of a feeling in my belly feels like it is getting stronger by the day.
you are obsessing. your relief is possible via getting into the moment, as previously, and laborously described to you. Otherwise your obsession becomes consolidation of your obsession.
your poor guts need relief from all that fractal obsessing. I agree, it a royally fucked situation.
If it were possible to establish and practice patience etc. as mentioned by Rahz, I would support his recommendation, but all I can safely say is to go into the moment and watch mental contents shifting at 1/10th of a second while following the breathing in and out.
Patience can come out of it as a by product. in the same way you cannot practice happiness by smiling, but that too may come out of this as a by product.
Less of that sucky feeling getting stronger (like Rahz put it) is a good thing I believe.
Yes, my situation is royally fucked. 
I still have no idea how to get in the moment...
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/28113771#28113771 and more like that in that thread you seemed to catch on for a while but maybe you were faking to suck me in.
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Pinkerton
Ultrasentient

Registered: 02/26/19
Posts: 3,127
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: redgreenvines]
#28336518 - 05/27/23 05:08 AM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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It is so frustrating. I have no clue what you were writing about.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28336578 - 05/27/23 07:05 AM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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At least you humoured me
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Pinkerton
Ultrasentient

Registered: 02/26/19
Posts: 3,127
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: redgreenvines]
#28336607 - 05/27/23 07:36 AM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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I am so fucking tired of this whole God-thing.
It takes forever and I am suffering.
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Rahz
Alive Again



Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,229
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28336678 - 05/27/23 09:05 AM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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Wanting to become God is a suffering.
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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Pinkerton
Ultrasentient

Registered: 02/26/19
Posts: 3,127
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Rahz] 1
#28336892 - 05/27/23 12:10 PM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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I lost most of my twenties and early thirties on this God-thing and I see no ending to this madness, so I do not want to be God.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28336910 - 05/27/23 12:23 PM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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go back to your teens then
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Pinkerton
Ultrasentient

Registered: 02/26/19
Posts: 3,127
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: redgreenvines]
#28336919 - 05/27/23 12:27 PM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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Nah, I was bullied as a teen just like I am now.
How do I not become God and instead start a "normal" life?
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Pinkerton
Ultrasentient

Registered: 02/26/19
Posts: 3,127
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28337023 - 05/27/23 01:43 PM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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I would kill to trip on Mescaline and some MDMA. Ketamine sigh... Amphetamines, some opiates and benzos, yes please.
But of course not, I am locked inside a prison which is my mind and if I consume just a minor bit I get straight up lunatic and starts harming people or myself even if I do not want to.
I DO NOT WANT TO BE GOD.
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WhoManBeing
PsychedelicYogi



Registered: 09/01/13
Posts: 3,773
Loc: Oregon
Last seen: 2 days, 22 hours
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28337033 - 05/27/23 01:49 PM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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You've got some issues.
What's the trouble to taking a drug and making pleasant experience to the use? Isn't that why one takes drugs? For pleasure?
Change, man, change. Being of change is of great presence.
So, you take a little of any drug, a little as to not make an uncontrollable reaction causing whatever lose of self will does to you in such set and setting, you take a little bit of any drug and you turn on a little, Woo Hoo, what's the trouble?
-------------------- Hip, hip... WhoRAy!!! Eye was thinking the other day... ahh, thinking never done me no good.
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Pinkerton
Ultrasentient

Registered: 02/26/19
Posts: 3,127
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: WhoManBeing]
#28337036 - 05/27/23 01:51 PM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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You have no clue what you are writing about.
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WhoManBeing
PsychedelicYogi



Registered: 09/01/13
Posts: 3,773
Loc: Oregon
Last seen: 2 days, 22 hours
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Re: I can never consume drugs again... [Re: Pinkerton]
#28337049 - 05/27/23 01:57 PM (7 months, 29 days ago) |
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All the clues you've written here are read clears as light. Am I missing something?
-------------------- Hip, hip... WhoRAy!!! Eye was thinking the other day... ahh, thinking never done me no good.
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