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Invisiblesudly
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A sense of uncertainty * 1
    #28281550 - 04/17/23 04:56 AM (9 months, 7 days ago)

I'm at a point in my life where I'm independent, still learning a lot about myself and what I do want and don't want from relationships in my life.

I've been single since late last year and have already come to meet a lot of interesting people since.
When I was in a committed relationship I didn't entertain the idea of flirting with other women for 5 years and lovingly commited to doing so. Eventually we grew apart and I realised it would hurt my partner less in the long run to end things now so as not to drag her along in a relationship I was becoming recognisably distant from.

I've had more time to myself, and have been trying to spend it with several new hobbies and generally taking better care of myself and my health. I've managed to lose 9kg in 6 months too by cutting sugars mostly from my diet.

All this said, I'm more confident that I was before, I'm more expressive and comfortable with my sexuality and I don't feel jealousy to a perceptable degree, or atleast whatever I do feel from time to time is far more easily accepted through appreciation and recognition of my own independence.

But what I'm trying to get at is that sometimes I still feel eery on my own, even after pleasant and memorable interactions and experiences, and it's been difficult at times to put into words how I truly feel when I'm reflecting or reminiscing about my day to day.

Today I heard the phrase again of someone having a sense of uncertainty, and it resonated to this moment.

Until now, when I have those moments of not feeling necessarily at ease in resting after a good day, I've thought it could be a form of boredom, then maybe curiosity, but not necessarily anxiety, and now, I think that a sense of uncertainty is a more fitting term.

Because although things often pan out well, there's still sometimes that underlying uncertainty of how things will be the next day, or the day after that.

For some reason the idea that I experience a sense of uncertainty from time to time is somewhat comforting and I wanted to explore that more in this thread.

When have you found comfort in a sense of uncertainty? Or at least recognising that you may be going through or experiencing a sense of uncertainty? Because it's not necessarily a positive or a negative emotional state/feeling, but I think it can be a prominent one.

I think I'm just hoping to find a little more clarity on what it is to have a sense of uncertainty.



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InvisibleRahz
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: sudly]
    #28281595 - 04/17/23 06:05 AM (9 months, 7 days ago)

Considering uncertainty a bad thing is a negative feedback loop. It's better than unexamined certainty but hopefully something that will be further examined and resolved to whatever extent is possible. I don't find comfort in it but do see ambivalence as an opportunity for introspection and growth.


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rahz

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"You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: sudly]
    #28281597 - 04/17/23 06:06 AM (9 months, 7 days ago)

maybe this verges on Derrida and Undecideability

for me it is allowing things to be in more than one category or state at the same time, to have an aspect of known as well as unknown, and still be ok with that.

otherwise I would tend to close down or bite through a problem or issue, but if it is undecided, it is still standing as it was when I leave the room as when I entered.

no doubt, in some way it changes each time I do enter the room, but it is more of a room on its own if I leave it unmolested.

perhaps it is about unmolestedness.


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InvisibleFerdinando
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: redgreenvines]
    #28281820 - 04/17/23 09:29 AM (9 months, 7 days ago)

maybe meditation is beneficial that way because mind molests itself less when one sits like that


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: Ferdinando]
    #28281903 - 04/17/23 10:33 AM (9 months, 7 days ago)

Quote:

Ferdinando said:
maybe meditation is beneficial that way because mind molests itself less when one sits like that



that is a good way to describe it!


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OfflineBuster_Brown
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: redgreenvines]
    #28282259 - 04/17/23 03:35 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

"would tend to close down or bite through a problem"

Ergo authoritarianism is tantamount to molestation.


Edited by Buster_Brown (04/17/23 03:36 PM)


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OfflineBuster_Brown
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: Buster_Brown]
    #28282266 - 04/17/23 03:40 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

Quote:

Buster_Brown said:
"would tend to close down or bite through a problem"

Ergo authoritarianism is tantamount to molestation.




Is that a Socratic approach?


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: Buster_Brown]
    #28282269 - 04/17/23 03:41 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

pretty much


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: sudly]
    #28282274 - 04/17/23 03:47 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

Quote:

sudly said:

When have you found comfort in a sense of uncertainty?




I've recognized the value in accepting (and embracing) the wisdom of insecurity since reading the book by Alan Watts many moons ago.  I see some equivalence in the feelings of insecurity and uncertainty.  Embracing insecurity is freedom.

I'm interested in how I feel uncertain during some periods of time and feel more certain at other times.  Although a cancer diagnosis can trigger such feelings, I might live for another 20 years with cancer while my healthy 18-year-old neighbor dies tomorrow in a car crash.

Due to covid and the political hysteria the last few years, I've heard a lot of people passionately declare, "We are living in uncertain times!"  I question this.  Every moment of every day is uncertain.  Does how we choose to perceive the world play a factor?  BTW, how can we quantify uncertainty?


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OfflineBuster_Brown
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: redgreenvines]
    #28282319 - 04/17/23 04:15 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

The possibility of authority ultimately being molestation then is a matter for greater minds to pursue.


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: Buster_Brown]
    #28282430 - 04/17/23 05:00 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

dhow great must your mind be to abhor slavery


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: redgreenvines]
    #28282866 - 04/17/23 10:19 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

I dunno guys. :confused:

I don't know what will happen but I have a personality and develop intentions which can be nice.


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Invisiblejack_straw2208
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: sudly]
    #28282870 - 04/17/23 10:25 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

Certainty's never enjoyed!


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If you can’t tell what you desperately need, it’s probably sleep.


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: jack_straw2208]
    #28282873 - 04/17/23 10:28 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

I like having a good idea of whether I'm gonna clap those cheeks or not.


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Invisiblejack_straw2208
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: sudly]
    #28282886 - 04/17/23 10:37 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

These cheeks? You get the green light, just make sure your head isn't anywhere near my mandibles when you're done!


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If you can’t tell what you desperately need, it’s probably sleep.


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: jack_straw2208]
    #28282892 - 04/17/23 10:47 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

Aren't we at the same house?


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Invisiblejack_straw2208
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: sudly] * 1
    #28282913 - 04/17/23 11:12 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

I think so but I am not so much sure!


--------------------
If you can’t tell what you desperately need, it’s probably sleep.


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: jack_straw2208]
    #28282921 - 04/17/23 11:22 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

I've been tasting some of my cats wet food recently and the duck pate has some nice pieces of meat but the sauce leaves a lingering savoury aftertaste that is a bit grey.

The mince beef stuff has no flavour or texture though other than some light gravy flavour. Skibby does enjoy a lot of the food I eat too though, there's usually a bit of pork to go around.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Invisiblejack_straw2208
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: sudly]
    #28282933 - 04/17/23 11:41 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

I am almost certain that all ya need is a dash of lemon zest, a squirt of juice, a pinch of ajinomoto (msg), and chopped parsley garnish to transform that cat food to people food.


--------------------
If you can’t tell what you desperately need, it’s probably sleep.


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: jack_straw2208]
    #28282948 - 04/17/23 11:54 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

I've heard they had to make some pet foods edible because less fortunate elderly people were turning to it for cheap food.

Plus the little furry bastard can be a bit picky sometimes so I'd like to know if there's any merrit to his meows of better meals.

I have found out he's a lot less picky when I give him less kibble so maybe we can work on our communication a bit more and I can cater to his needs more effectively too.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Invisiblejack_straw2208
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: sudly]
    #28282950 - 04/17/23 11:57 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

You'd get the same funny looks even if you hired him a personal chef but you shouldn't let that stop you


--------------------
If you can’t tell what you desperately need, it’s probably sleep.


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: jack_straw2208]
    #28282970 - 04/18/23 12:14 AM (9 months, 6 days ago)

Someones got to take care of the 15 year old more or less blind little one.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Invisiblejack_straw2208
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: sudly]
    #28282989 - 04/18/23 12:35 AM (9 months, 6 days ago)

Meow blind cat man do!


--------------------
If you can’t tell what you desperately need, it’s probably sleep.


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OfflineMAIA
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: sudly] * 1
    #28283690 - 04/18/23 12:30 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

I guess I feel comfortable with uncertainty as long as there is hope of a positive outcome out of such uncertainty.


--------------------
Spiritual being, living a human experience ... The Shroomery Mandala



Use, do not abuse; neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy.
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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: MAIA]
    #28283889 - 04/18/23 02:40 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

Quote:

MAIA said:
I guess I feel comfortable with uncertainty as long as there is hope of a positive outcome out of such uncertainty.




That's well put, thanks.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: MAIA]
    #28285382 - 04/19/23 01:19 PM (9 months, 5 days ago)

Quote:

MAIA said:

I guess I feel comfortable with uncertainty as long as there is hope of a positive outcome out of such uncertainty.




Isn't the hope for a positive outcome a form of suffering?

Doesn't the hope for a particular outcome fuel disappointment & resentment?


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #28285390 - 04/19/23 01:23 PM (9 months, 5 days ago)

I don't think hope for something good to come out of it has to have expectations.

Expecting good things might lead to premeditated resentments, but hoping for them and being okay with whatever outcomes happen is different I think.

The ol C'est la vie.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: sudly] * 1
    #28285429 - 04/19/23 01:39 PM (9 months, 5 days ago)

Hoping for a positive outcome is better than expecting a negative one.

I frequently engage in that cognitive behavior.


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: RJ Tubs 202] * 1
    #28285444 - 04/19/23 01:47 PM (9 months, 5 days ago)

outcomes are overrated.
uncertainty is of value in itself.
the more comfortable we can be with uncertainty, the less unnecessary suffering exists altogether.

certainty itself is never more than some measure of familiarity,
and uncertainty itself is just some aspect of not yet known/clear/familiar


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: redgreenvines]
    #28285453 - 04/19/23 01:51 PM (9 months, 5 days ago)

This famous quote really bothers me.  It annoys me so much I'm fascinated by it.

“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”

Oscar Wilde


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #28285492 - 04/19/23 02:14 PM (9 months, 5 days ago)

the emptiness and "uncertainty" of after-getting


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OfflineMAIA
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #28311341 - 05/08/23 12:06 PM (8 months, 17 days ago)

Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:

Isn't the hope for a positive outcome a form of suffering?

Doesn't the hope for a particular outcome fuel disappointment & resentment?




Yes, it is a form of suffering but I guess it's more bearable than a negative one. But then ... is it really ? You make a good point referring to disappointment & resentment. I guess it all depends the point in time you knowingly accept an outcome plus the time you need you go thru disappointment & resentment.


--------------------
Spiritual being, living a human experience ... The Shroomery Mandala



Use, do not abuse; neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy.
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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: MAIA]
    #28311744 - 05/08/23 05:48 PM (8 months, 16 days ago)

After a recent outcome I realised it may not have been uncertainty I thought I experienced, but neutrality. And it took a bit of time for the reality of how neutrally I reacted to such intimate experiences to sink in.

But it makes sense in my personal degree because I'm at a point in my life of walking towards the casual.


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OfflineBrendanFlock
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: sudly]
    #28312006 - 05/08/23 09:40 PM (8 months, 16 days ago)

The ideas of curiosity, mystery and uncertainty are all intertwined..

Curiosity is looking for something new.

Mystery is an element of surprise and soothsaying fact-finding.

Uncertainty means a lack of (perfect) knowledge to a certain degree.. or knowledge through chaos.


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: BrendanFlock] * 1
    #28312175 - 05/09/23 03:54 AM (8 months, 16 days ago)

I think curiosity is the pursuit of connections from an interesting observation or experience.
(like exploring which includes play and "how does this feel" types of activities)

Uncertainty is more of a lack of familiarity, or of confidence in the current perceived meanings of events.

Mystery relates to hidden aspects of the situation.


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InvisiblePinkerton
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: redgreenvines]
    #28312197 - 05/09/23 04:31 AM (8 months, 16 days ago)

I even know quite a lot about uncertainty!


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: redgreenvines]
    #28314536 - 05/10/23 04:18 PM (8 months, 14 days ago)

Maybe it's the uncertainty of being unable to recognise my own feelings in regard to certain interactions or triggers.

Because I think I felt uncertainty until I recognised neutrality.

I think I felt uncertainty until I recognised fomo.

And I think that recognising how I react to certain triggers is a good first step to becoming more comfortable in a variety of situations.


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: sudly]
    #28314589 - 05/10/23 04:59 PM (8 months, 14 days ago)

to shy away from uncertainty is not an honest approach, uncertainty is a turn on, it is exciting to recognize that you are facing the unknown, or a partially unknown known.
most of the world is unknown.


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: redgreenvines]
    #28314632 - 05/10/23 05:33 PM (8 months, 14 days ago)

I'm not shying away from uncertainty, but trying to recognise what it may represent.

Sometimes I think we can reach a point of lifting the fog around a particular uncertainty to gain some greater clarity.


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: sudly]
    #28314650 - 05/10/23 05:47 PM (8 months, 14 days ago)

sure, sometimes getting to know the unknown or at least see far enough to drive, is satisfactory.

I meant that there is more going on than fogs and driving, both within the body, and all around.

sure if you are driving we don't mean to distract you from the task, but if you are not on a task, every angle you look at is a new universe - full of things one could not be certain of in advance, and much of which you will never even know you were uncertain about.


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
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Re: A sense of uncertainty [Re: redgreenvines]
    #28314655 - 05/10/23 05:53 PM (8 months, 14 days ago)

When it comes to clapping cheeks, I certainly understand there are to be some uncertainties, but I hope to reminisce on less of them as uncertainties over time.


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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