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Anonymous #1

Friends with Benefits, do I dare? * 1
    #28277668 - 04/14/23 03:53 PM (9 months, 10 days ago)

Yesterday someone messaged me, and we were talking and they asked if I would be interested in friends with benefits.
I have never had a friend with benefits. I have always been married or I was dating. And I have always been more attracted to a persons personality and intelligence before physical appearance.
I am not attracted to him. He is cool and all. We live different lives, he is wilder than I am. And I don't find him attractive.
BUT
I would like some sex... LOL That sounds awful, I am aware. I don't want sex, I want good, satisfying sex.
I am.... confused.
I don't know if I could do it.. even though my hormones are dying for it


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Offlinepslyke
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28277770 - 04/14/23 05:22 PM (9 months, 10 days ago)

It doesn't sound awful it sounds tittilating.

In this case, orgasm may bring clarity.

You know that saying about going out with a loaded gun... It's always easier to make good decisions about the sanity of engaging with a new sexual partner if you don't have an extreme level of pent up sexual frustration.


--------------------
"What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein

"The conservatives of 70 years ago would be outraged at what has come to pass. It embodies everything they took up arms for to defeat"Asante


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Onlineoursoulsinmotion
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28277849 - 04/14/23 06:20 PM (9 months, 10 days ago)

YOLO
try it !


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OfflineKryptos
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: oursoulsinmotion] * 1
    #28277856 - 04/14/23 06:24 PM (9 months, 10 days ago)

No offense OP, but I have the distinct feeling that if you do go through with it, it will be mediocre sex at best and you'll need to finish yourself off.

Not saying that's a bad outcome, just something to prepare for.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Kryptos]
    #28278017 - 04/14/23 08:30 PM (9 months, 9 days ago)

He is my next door neighbor.
He and his daughter came over tonight. I'm just not super attracted to him. But I'm not disgusted.
He has bad teeth which grosses me out.
I started considering it when he said were both older and both have needs.
I'm all but fucking the couch lately, im super busy, I have little no free time.
I hate being no sexual
After awhile i stop feeling like a woman
I HATE it


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Anonymous #2

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28278358 - 04/15/23 04:54 AM (9 months, 9 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Yesterday someone messaged me, and we were talking and they asked if I would be interested in friends with benefits.
I have never had a friend with benefits. I have always been married or I was dating. And I have always been more attracted to a persons personality and intelligence before physical appearance.
I am not attracted to him. He is cool and all. We live different lives, he is wilder than I am. And I don't find him attractive.
BUT
I would like some sex... LOL That sounds awful, I am aware. I don't want sex, I want good, satisfying sex.
I am.... confused.
I don't know if I could do it.. even though my hormones are dying for it



Are you the person who posted about how to find a lover a couple months ago?
You are, aren't you?
Anyway. Do it.
Actually, caveat.
Bring up drugs. And if he's still down THEN do it.


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Onlineoursoulsinmotion
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28278370 - 04/15/23 05:02 AM (9 months, 9 days ago)

If yr already sketched out then id say its a no go
Tell him yu already have a few side dudes but thanks anyways
(In this situation yr in its Ok to lie if yu feel weirded out by his asking))


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Anonymous #3

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28278439 - 04/15/23 06:08 AM (9 months, 9 days ago)

Let me put it this way. Do you think you could have an orgasm with him despite your problems with his appearance? Would the sex still be worth it without an orgasm?


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Onlineoursoulsinmotion
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28278467 - 04/15/23 06:42 AM (9 months, 9 days ago)

BLUE Anything is sooo unsafe
Dont do itt
He sounds like 1 of those old dudes tht doesnt wear rubbers🤮🤢


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #28278961 - 04/15/23 01:02 PM (9 months, 9 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:
Let me put it this way. Do you think you could have an orgasm with him despite your problems with his appearance? Would the sex still be worth it without an orgasm?



If there was no orgasm... not worth it. I have no desire to have sex without an orgasm.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: oursoulsinmotion]
    #28278963 - 04/15/23 01:03 PM (9 months, 9 days ago)

Quote:

oursoulsinmotion said:
BLUE Anything is sooo unsafe
Dont do itt
He sounds like 1 of those old dudes tht doesnt wear rubbers🤮🤢




Hes not old, but he looks older than me. But he lives a harder life than I have lived.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28278966 - 04/15/23 01:03 PM (9 months, 9 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Yesterday someone messaged me, and we were talking and they asked if I would be interested in friends with benefits.
I have never had a friend with benefits. I have always been married or I was dating. And I have always been more attracted to a persons personality and intelligence before physical appearance.
I am not attracted to him. He is cool and all. We live different lives, he is wilder than I am. And I don't find him attractive.
BUT
I would like some sex... LOL That sounds awful, I am aware. I don't want sex, I want good, satisfying sex.
I am.... confused.
I don't know if I could do it.. even though my hormones are dying for it



Are you the person who posted about how to find a lover a couple months ago?
You are, aren't you?
Anyway. Do it.
Actually, caveat.
Bring up drugs. And if he's still down THEN do it.




yes I am


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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28279144 - 04/15/23 03:30 PM (9 months, 9 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:He has bad teeth which grosses me out.





That would be a deal breaker for me.
I can't kiss someone who has bad teeth.  "Bad" meaning unhealthy.  I don't care if they're just crooked, as long as they're healthy.


--------------------
:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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Onlineoursoulsinmotion
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28281738 - 04/17/23 08:24 AM (9 months, 7 days ago)

Yea bad teeth& toe nail fungus Major turn off🤮🤮


--------------------


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28282070 - 04/17/23 01:10 PM (9 months, 7 days ago)

meth mouth I am assuming


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Anonymous #2

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28282452 - 04/17/23 05:14 PM (9 months, 7 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Yesterday someone messaged me, and we were talking and they asked if I would be interested in friends with benefits.
I have never had a friend with benefits. I have always been married or I was dating. And I have always been more attracted to a persons personality and intelligence before physical appearance.
I am not attracted to him. He is cool and all. We live different lives, he is wilder than I am. And I don't find him attractive.
BUT
I would like some sex... LOL That sounds awful, I am aware. I don't want sex, I want good, satisfying sex.
I am.... confused.
I don't know if I could do it.. even though my hormones are dying for it



Are you the person who posted about how to find a lover a couple months ago?
You are, aren't you?
Anyway. Do it.
Actually, caveat.
Bring up drugs. And if he's still down THEN do it.




yes I am



Honestly give it a go. I feel like you're looking for reasons not to do it than reason to do it. Which means you kinda want it more than you don't.


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Invisiblesudly
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Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #28282935 - 04/17/23 11:45 PM (9 months, 6 days ago)

Yeah fwb is good. I've been single 4 months now and figured I just wanted something casual. I was open about it and met a cool lady who's fun and I don't have to be commited to.

I think it can be hard though because it's taken me a while to be able to come to terms with jealousy and handling it but I think that now I find it easier to reconcile my jealousy if there's any rather quickly with my personal independence.

I like being independent right now and jealousy doesn't serve any beneficial purposes in that. I think I really realised it when I was shown her tiktok with her other partners and I didn't feel jealousy.

I felt a bit surprised seeing it, and it took a moment to sink in, but it wasn't jealousy, I was just content to see them happy and to be happy myself too.

I think it comes down to what you want, do you want a friend that is genuine and you can hang out with without only having sex, or do you just want a fuck buddy to call over for some cheek clapping only to see them out the door afterwards.

I can be rather affectionate but I can also recognise a separation between sex and emotions. Which is a point that has taken a lot of life experience to come to.

Honestly I didn't know about my own hard and soft boundaries until recently and how important enthustic consent is with effective communication regarding my sexuality. Also that I'm open to being with a transman who's feminine enough. I haven't met anyone like that yet but the idea doesn't rub me the wrong way.


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28283060 - 04/18/23 02:06 AM (9 months, 6 days ago)

Thats a tough one because for me at least, physical attraction is really important for like a ongoing sexual experience.

But Ive known some women who are really "open-minded" about who they find attractive. For them, I am thankful 🙏


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Offlinemaudeads
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #28283102 - 04/18/23 03:38 AM (9 months, 6 days ago)

I don't see anything wrong with that. People choose who they are for each other, don't they?



Edited by maudeads (04/20/23 03:52 AM)


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Invisiblesudly
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Registered: 01/05/15
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: maudeads]
    #28283105 - 04/18/23 03:40 AM (9 months, 6 days ago)

If someone isn't attracted to someone they want to sleep with.. then is that want to sleep with them not reducable to wanting any form of sexual relation or intimacy?


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #28284683 - 04/18/23 11:23 PM (9 months, 5 days ago)

I did it once, it was great! Would fully recommend.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28285228 - 04/19/23 11:51 AM (9 months, 5 days ago)

I decided no


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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28285229 - 04/19/23 11:52 AM (9 months, 5 days ago)

You made the right choice. 
Don't settle.
You deserve a good person you're attracted to.


--------------------
:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28285231 - 04/19/23 11:53 AM (9 months, 5 days ago)

I think so too.
And... Acting desperate is not attractive. And I feel I was acting kinda desperate.
desperate/horny...
whatever.
I am smarter than that.


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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28285232 - 04/19/23 11:54 AM (9 months, 5 days ago)

Just masturbate instead lol.


--------------------
:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28285245 - 04/19/23 12:05 PM (9 months, 5 days ago)

LOL
I know...
I miss the real deal... a lot


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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28285261 - 04/19/23 12:17 PM (9 months, 5 days ago)

I just met this girl two days ago for the first time (met online first).  She's cute, little chubby, but I don't mind that.  More cushion for the pushin'.
We did the deed. 
it's super casual. 
We'll probably meet again soon.
You'll find someone soon if you keep lookin' and take care of yourself


--------------------
:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
    #28285364 - 04/19/23 01:13 PM (9 months, 5 days ago)

In addition to the other concerns OP had, when she mentioned it was a neighbor I couldn't help but think this was a deal breaker unless she was looking to move soon...

I've had bad neighbors in the past, and I've never had to deal with one that I was previously screwing.


--------------------
"What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein

"The conservatives of 70 years ago would be outraged at what has come to pass. It embodies everything they took up arms for to defeat"Asante


:kratom:


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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: pslyke]
    #28285693 - 04/19/23 04:25 PM (9 months, 5 days ago)

That's a fair point.
Things can get weird if the neighbor ends up being a total creep.


--------------------
:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: pslyke]
    #28285838 - 04/19/23 06:03 PM (9 months, 5 days ago)

Quote:

pslyke said:
In addition to the other concerns OP had, when she mentioned it was a neighbor I couldn't help but think this was a deal breaker unless she was looking to move soon...

I've had bad neighbors in the past, and I've never had to deal with one that I was previously screwing.




Yeah... that was a concern also.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28285844 - 04/19/23 06:08 PM (9 months, 5 days ago)

I do take care of myself.For my small town I am considered attractive, but that's also dependent on the person looking. Right?
I just dont meet people and I can't "meet" people to date, in my field.
I had an experience yesterday. I met a guy and he kept flirting with me and it was SO awkward. I kept kind of avoiding him. He was attractive, very attractive. But in conversation he mentioned his girlfriend. Deal Breaker
I got kinda sad that my reaction was to be uncomfortable. That bothered me. That it has been so long that I am uncomfortable and how will I meet someone let alone have sex again.....But it is also something I can work on.
It was an eye opener


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Anonymous #3

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 3
    #28286330 - 04/20/23 04:17 AM (9 months, 4 days ago)

You got uncomfortable and the guy was taken. Not weird at all.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28286841 - 04/20/23 02:05 PM (9 months, 4 days ago)

I think I felt offended that he was flirting with me and has a girlfriend. I dont think he meant to mention her. It was only once, in reference.
I think it was like feeling offended... I would never be the other woman.. ever.. fuck no.. no no no


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Invisiblesudly
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28286858 - 04/20/23 02:24 PM (9 months, 4 days ago)

I was in a 5 year relationship and I never once entertained the idea of flirting with another woman. But that's just me because I was commited and happily so. Until I began becoming more independent and growing apart from her, and when I became more distant and realised it would only hurt her more to continue.


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Anonymous #2

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28286907 - 04/20/23 03:06 PM (9 months, 4 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I think I felt offended that he was flirting with me and has a girlfriend. I dont think he meant to mention her. It was only once, in reference.
I think it was like feeling offended... I would never be the other woman.. ever.. fuck no.. no no no



There's a non-zero chance he was playing an angle. In some demographics trying to do the whole "--well why don't you steal me" play is fairly popular and even effective so he very well might've been single and thrown that in in order to garner more interest.
Which ain't a good basis for a relationship anyway but y'know.


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Invisiblesudly
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28286912 - 04/20/23 03:09 PM (9 months, 4 days ago)

We all got a type I suppose.


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28286935 - 04/20/23 03:25 PM (9 months, 4 days ago)

Definitely, some dudes have an "affair fetish", like on the site Ashley Madison.

Naughty naughty :nonono:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friends with Benefits, do I dare? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28287064 - 04/20/23 04:56 PM (9 months, 4 days ago)

I have been on Ashley Madison. LOL I had an open relationship
I am not into being the other woman at all.
He was a super good looking guy and ... I dont want to offend any males by coming stereotype. He was that super attractive guy that wants you to chase him.


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