|
tric
Stranger

Registered: 04/11/23
Posts: 33
Last seen: 9 months, 12 days
|
Trying to be part of my daughter's life 1
#28273839 - 04/12/23 02:48 AM (9 months, 12 days ago) |
|
|
Hello shroomery community. First off, I'm a recovering drug addict. I've been one of my whole life. That's actually how me and the ex met. We were both lost and attempted to make a life together. I fought so hard to get her clean. The disappearing act got old and I car surfed more than once on the hood of the car trying to get her to not use drugs. Eventually, she got clean and had my daughter. Everything was okay for close to 10 years, but I just couldn't stay clean and she had enough of it and got rid of me.
She offered me joint custody in the very beginning. I was so heartbroken that I was out of my mind. I didn't believe the papers were real and they called the cops on me, because I threaten suicide to her lawyer. ( I'll never do that again..) I got papers in the mail soon afterwards and it stated that if I see a psychiatrist and past drug tests that I get joint custody of my daughter.
I never wanted to take it to that level and I gave up after repeatedly trying to see her and something always got in the way or buying her stuff and it disappearing. I stopped calling and I know it hurt my daughter. I figured maybe she was better without me. I would only complicate the situation.
A few years had passed and I couldn't take the pain anymore. I was so addicted to so many different drugs. Opiates, crack, meth. You name it. I was doing drugs just to numb the pain at that point. I had been to the mental ward countless times for suicide attempts and I wasn't doing good.
That's when I stumbled upon mushrooms and I knew I had to grow them. You guys were the ones who taught me how to grow my medicine. I believe that the mushrooms played a big role in helping me heal. Helping me get clean and helping me find love. Helping my heart mend itself back together.
I really do feel like a different person and I clean from drugs, the only thing is the pain from being separated from my daughter is still there. I have been talking to my baby mama and showing her all the good that I've been doing. I found an awesome woman, I moved out of my dad's house, I'm helping so many people, including her son with bullies. I'm helping her friends Sons who are on the verge of fucking their life up. Showing interest in drugs. That's something I have experience with and that I have been talking to them and being a good influence around them. Playing basketball everyday with them. Healthy living.
Everything is looking good and my baby mama is sending me pictures and letting me talk to her, but here is the Dilemma. She's making it about her and she's hurting. I feel so bad and I don't know what to do. I do not want to ruin her marriage and I don't want to complicate things, but I don't want my daughter to miss out on her father. I've already raised her son. I got him when he was 7 years old and he's 23 years old now. He lives with me right now. He stays up all night playing video games and he's still a work in progress, but he's a good kid and he's mine.
Anyways I I've been texting her telling her what I've been up to and this is what she starts to send me and this is how it went..




I'm hurting. I don't know what to do. She's still talking to me and acts like she didn't say all that. I'm solid. I'm going to stay solid. Thank you for listening to me
Edited by tric (04/12/23 02:49 AM)
|
koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,670
|
Re: Trying to be part of my daughter's life [Re: tric] 1
#28273854 - 04/12/23 03:45 AM (9 months, 12 days ago) |
|
|
Maybe not flirt with her? Perhaps that's not what you intend to do, but it's how it comes across with me and I have a feeling she sees it the same way. You said she's married, you're with another woman now too, so that's that for now, isn't it? Perhaps leave that part as it is. Let her go in that sense; 'baby mama' is maybe something of the past and she's just the mother of your kid now - more neutral; another adult you can interface with in a more friendly, less romantic way. She's evidently hurt that you didn't manage to clean up your act earlier (I can imagine; while I see your side of the story as well) and I suspect it doesn't help her any if you're looking to rekindle some kind of emotional attachment between the two of you. Let her come to grips with the new you and your new partner. Don't pile up too much on the woman; she's probably had a darn hard time the past decade trying to make it on her own while taking care of your daughter.
Btw, much respect for cleaning up your act and getting your shit together. That takes some serious discipline, stubbornness and persistence. Can't and shouldn't be underestimated. I hope you keep it up; good luck & Godspeed.
|
tric
Stranger

Registered: 04/11/23
Posts: 33
Last seen: 9 months, 12 days
|
Re: Trying to be part of my daughter's life [Re: koraks]
#28273863 - 04/12/23 04:03 AM (9 months, 12 days ago) |
|
|
You are right and if I was flirting I was doing it's subconsciously. Honestly, IDK what I want. Everything was going perfect and I just wanted my daughter to be part of it. To have the father she deserves, see me at my best.
Thank you for your kind words it means a lot. I guess I have a lot of thinking to do and I will not fuck this up.
|
tric
Stranger

Registered: 04/11/23
Posts: 33
Last seen: 9 months, 12 days
|
Re: Trying to be part of my daughter's life [Re: tric]
#28273871 - 04/12/23 04:08 AM (9 months, 12 days ago) |
|
|
And yes. She remarried less than a year ago and I have started a relationship with someone and I've got attached to their kids. I wish there was some way we could just be a big happy family..
Also, my girlfriend has been helping me send the text to her and it's partially her idea as well. I don't think it's me flirting.
I already know what it is and I can't sleep thinking about it.
Edited by tric (04/12/23 04:14 AM)
|
tric
Stranger

Registered: 04/11/23
Posts: 33
Last seen: 9 months, 12 days
|
Re: Trying to be part of my daughter's life [Re: tric] 1
#28273908 - 04/12/23 05:01 AM (9 months, 12 days ago) |
|
|
I can't turn my mind off. Last message this morning.
I just want to be her friend and be part of her life as a friend. It seems that's not possible, for the time being. I am going to treat her as a neutral adult that takes care of my daughter. I can't get greedy. I have pictures now and I get to talk to her.
|
Roflspammer
Strangest



Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 1,901
Loc: New Hampshire
Last seen: 10 hours, 44 minutes
|
Re: Trying to be part of my daughter's life [Re: tric]
#28273962 - 04/12/23 06:09 AM (9 months, 12 days ago) |
|
|
Good luck tric, I appreciate the work you have done. Every "mistake" is another opportunity to learn and grow.
|
tric
Stranger

Registered: 04/11/23
Posts: 33
Last seen: 9 months, 12 days
|
Re: Trying to be part of my daughter's life [Re: Roflspammer]
#28273964 - 04/12/23 06:12 AM (9 months, 12 days ago) |
|
|
Thank you. I agree. It's hard to keep priorities where they belong. I wish you well.
|
Abombs
Chaotic Neutral



Registered: 08/17/21
Posts: 884
Last seen: 5 months, 22 days
|
Re: Trying to be part of my daughter's life [Re: tric]
#28275098 - 04/12/23 09:23 PM (9 months, 11 days ago) |
|
|
It will take time. Be patient
Try not to brag or rub it in that your doing so good. My ex takes everything as an insult or makes things about her.
She was an alcoholic then we were alcoholics. Then I told her not to come home till she quit drinking.
She quit That day and came home about a week later. But her resentment was always near the surface.
We don't communicate socially. Just the required information about the kids. 🤮
|
Furrychocolate
Trich

Registered: 04/12/23
Posts: 15
Last seen: 9 months, 10 days
|
Re: Trying to be part of my daughter's life [Re: Abombs]
#28276868 - 04/14/23 05:44 AM (9 months, 10 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Abombs said: It will take time. Be patient
Try not to brag or rub it in that your doing so good. My ex takes everything as an insult or makes things about her.
She was an alcoholic then we were alcoholics. Then I told her not to come home till she quit drinking.
She quit That day and came home about a week later. But her resentment was always near the surface.
We don't communicate socially. Just the required information about the kids. 🤮
This is very good advice. He should listen to this. Good luck buddy
|
SpencerPhillips



Registered: 08/18/12
Posts: 656
Loc: ON, Canada
Last seen: 3 days, 23 hours
|
Re: Trying to be part of my daughter's life [Re: Furrychocolate]
#28280934 - 04/16/23 05:51 PM (9 months, 8 days ago) |
|
|
Good read. Thx tric
|
|