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Invisibleloladoreen
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Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,339
Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: thelanzii]
    #28306706 - 05/04/23 04:53 PM (8 months, 21 days ago)

Quote:

thelanzii said:
Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:

thelanzii said:

I have been reading about dating, game and that area lately and have noticed many of my flawed actions as well as it bringing some clarity to my situation.




:thumbup:

I'm amazed how many WRONG ideas I've had about women, being attractive, and the art of seduction.  It's one thing to be clueless and ignorant, but I had embraced some very wrong and distorted ideas that have fueled a myriad of missed connections during my lifetime.



one thing I don't get is the asshole attraction thing. I understand teasing its fun.  I don't understand why being an asshole has women responding well to it.


Not sure what the concept of nice guy means - I hear it thrown around all the time and there's always multiple definitions




I have never understood the asshole attraction.
I love nice guys. I love the boyscout. that can be dirty for me
I like bad guys too.. but they are temporary fun.
The nice guy... is who you want.


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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: loladoreen]
    #28306717 - 05/04/23 05:11 PM (8 months, 21 days ago)

The guy who's confident in himself, has his own sense of independence, and understands how to respect a lady in the street, and be mean in the sheets. A respectful tease.

A 'nice guy' is usually a pushover who is probably too frigid to make the first move, let alone to show actual interest.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Invisibleloladoreen
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Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,339
Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: sudly]
    #28306738 - 05/04/23 05:26 PM (8 months, 21 days ago)

I think everyones interpretation is different. What you described to me is a nice guy. A guy who's not going to beat your ass, disrespect me, etc
But is a gentleman
god I miss gentleman.. real gentleman.


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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: loladoreen]
    #28306759 - 05/04/23 05:43 PM (8 months, 21 days ago)

The guy who smacks your but in private, and well centred for oomf

Haha even that's a bit weird though. Some people are spontaneous, some more reactive.

Takes time getting to know how someone handles themselves, but talking about it and asking is usually a pretty good way.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



Edited by sudly (05/04/23 06:09 PM)


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Posts: 5,339
Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: thelanzii]
    #28306988 - 05/04/23 09:15 PM (8 months, 20 days ago)

Completely agree
I grew up with 6 brothers and my dad is a gentleman. I watched my dad and mom dance and make out and my dad give her flowers and open the door for her.
My brothers are the same.
I have never had a man treat me like my dad or brothers.
I was lucky that I had such a great father and my brothers are really good guys.
I have struggled with ideas of what I think things should be. And I accept that not everyone is the same. Not everyone was raised like I was.
I married man who had no idea about things I thought were basic. He didnt know to walk on the outside on the sidewalk for example or to check the oil and fluids before a trip. Things I took for granted.
His dad was abusive and drunk
my dad took me on my first date .. I am certain to set a bar that others needed to try to reach. NO one has reached it ever.
sorry.. got on a tangent.
anyhow. when I was younger I struggle with it. I love gentleman. I am ok not being with one. Because I have not found one..
but.. its also ok.


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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: loladoreen]
    #28307037 - 05/04/23 09:46 PM (8 months, 20 days ago)

I think some women expect chivalry too. I can be romantic if I'm in a commited relationship, heck even in a casual fling I suppose the dinners could be considered romantic, but they're just fun for me.

But like pulling chairs out at dinner, excitedly greeting waiters, putting my coat over her in light rain, or my jumper in the cold, almost wanting me to feign wonder at an idea I don't agree with, wanting white lies etc.

Like if people have these expectations that's fine, but I'm not the kind of guy that will always meet them, and I've found that my ex at least had these expectations then said she didn't, but only resolved the issue when I apologised for not meeting the expectations she didn't have :stoned:


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Invisibleloladoreen
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Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: thelanzii]
    #28307042 - 05/04/23 09:52 PM (8 months, 20 days ago)

I certainly had them for a long time. I had to get out in the world and grow as a person more. Before I realized everyone is different.
Its not a personal defect when someone is different then I desire or was taught to expect.
I really had a thought in my mind that if man was not a gentleman.. he was not a good man. I am almost 50 now and talking about how I was in my teen to 23ish.
It was little things for me, not opening doors, being polite. A guy honking his horn and expects me to run out of the house.
thing like that
I wouldn't expect my chair to be pulled out
NOW.. present day I rarely ever see men like this.. never.
Unless they are older


--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: thelanzii]
    #28307043 - 05/04/23 09:52 PM (8 months, 20 days ago)

And just to be fair
I rarely see women I consider ladies.
Things have changed and for the good.


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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: loladoreen] * 2
    #28307069 - 05/04/23 10:49 PM (8 months, 20 days ago)

I had my ex bring up that I didn't pay for her coffee on one of our dates 2 years later. Like the comparisons to the friends was something that took be aback often.

Recently been seeing a lady and on first date went went to pay at counter, I told waitress well split the check, my date said, 'I'm not one of those women who expects the man to pay on the first date', I said I was only going to pay for myself, but she said she'd pay for it and that I could get it next time.

It was refreshing to hear.

Man or women, decent respect and treating with dignity is a minimum.

Dignity has been blurred with intimacy for me at times as I've matured. Hasn't always been clear what's okay and what's not, and everyone's different again.

I filter people in life I get close top who I feel have similar views about some foundational aspects of the world, and although there are less people I associate with, those I do I feel I'm more compatible with.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Invisibleloladoreen
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Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: sudly]
    #28307076 - 05/04/23 11:01 PM (8 months, 20 days ago)

Quote:

sudly said:
I had my ex bring up that I didn't pay for her coffee on one of our dates 2 years later. Like the comparisons to the friends was something that took be aback often.

Recently been seeing a lady and on first date went went to pay at counter, I told waitress well split the check, my date said, 'I'm not one of those women who expects the man to pay on the first date', I said I was only going to pay for myself, but she said she'd pay for it and that I could get it next time.

It was refreshing to hear.

Man or women, decent respect and treating with dignity is a minimum.

Dignity has been blurred with intimacy for me at times as I've matured. Hasn't always been clear what's okay and what's not, and everyone's different again.

I filter people in life I get close top who I feel have similar views about some foundational aspects of the world, and although there are less people I associate with, those I do I feel I'm more compatible with.




Its nice when you dont have expectations.. you know?
I dont expect anyone to pay for me meal, etc. I dont expect much form anyone . And then when it's done, whatever it is.. what a nice thoughtful gesture. I appreciate it more.


--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: loladoreen]
    #28307085 - 05/04/23 11:19 PM (8 months, 20 days ago)

Oh I know :wink:

I think it's because when we have expectations they can become premeditated resentments, but when I don't have expectations, even the little things can be pleasant surprises. And if nothing happens, nothing changes :shrug: and that's okay.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Invisibleloladoreen
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Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: thelanzii]
    #28307086 - 05/04/23 11:21 PM (8 months, 20 days ago)

YES!!!!!!


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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: loladoreen]
    #28307087 - 05/04/23 11:26 PM (8 months, 20 days ago)



--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Invisiblethelanzii

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 5,434
Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: sudly] * 1
    #28308226 - 05/05/23 08:11 PM (8 months, 19 days ago)

We got the job!!!!!!!!



Edited by thelanzii (05/06/23 03:03 AM)


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: loladoreen]
    #28310079 - 05/07/23 09:47 AM (8 months, 18 days ago)

Quote:

loladoreen said:

The nice guy... is who you want.




One common issue with nice guys is they often lack the ability to be dangerous.  Being dangerous is not equivalent to being violent.  Being dangerous means that one has the ability to engage in violence if necessary.

A man who is unwilling to engage in violence if necessary is handicapped and is viewed by many women as weak.  Some situations call for being able to defend our loved ones.  Sometimes that requires violence.

But now we're drowning in lamentations of "toxic masculinity"


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #28310088 - 05/07/23 10:12 AM (8 months, 18 days ago)

And that's a red flag! I've never been in a fight before.

Seems a pretty good skill to be able to keep a calm head even during controntrational situations, and to be able to simply not engage with people who are aggressive. One punch can kill and violence can easily destroy lives.

There is no violence required to defend loved ones, the only situation where violence is a necessity is in self defense, but for the most part it's relatively easy to avoid putting oneself in such a situation.

Other than a robber in a house what example are you thinking of? Some drunk guy trying to hit on your gf in a bar? If the womans worth being with she'd be able to reject his advances imo.

And if I was in such a situation and he tried to belittle me? It'd be weird to engage aggressively, easy to laugh off in my experience.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Invisibleloladoreen
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Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: thelanzii]
    #28310711 - 05/07/23 08:04 PM (8 months, 17 days ago)

But I agree on the toxic masculinity


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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: loladoreen]
    #28310733 - 05/07/23 08:38 PM (8 months, 17 days ago)

The, "I don't hit men because touching men is gay" kinda thing that gives the sense of someone's masculinity being 'changed' from the hug of another man.

I think there is a difference between the approach that says, 'treat them mean, keep them keen', and the one of, 'respect them in the streets, be mean in the sheets.'


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Invisiblethelanzii

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 5,434
Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: sudly] * 1
    #28311306 - 05/08/23 11:30 AM (8 months, 17 days ago)



think the next step for me before I move for my new job is quitting porn and nicotine

the video above really opened my eyes


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Re: Women talk to me about their pain then fuck other guys [Re: thelanzii] * 1
    #28311574 - 05/08/23 03:01 PM (8 months, 17 days ago)

Believe it or not majority of the young men I work with tell me they dont watch porn because it is disrespectful to women and ruins intimacy in their relationships.
young men=age 25-15
In the beginning I was surprised. Now.... I think this generation is amazing.


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