|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,297
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 3 hours, 6 minutes
|
Women and Dressing Up 2
#28259534 - 04/02/23 05:33 PM (9 months, 21 days ago) |
|
|
So last Friday, i had a revelation. Theres this young woman at my new workplace. She works on the same shift but in a different department. The only feae there. At the first, i could tell there was some mutual attraction.
During the week, she wears frumpy, baggie clothes. Comfy but not sexy.
But on Friday, we had a shift pizza party and she wore this all black school girl outfit with white boots. She looked absolutely stunning. Its like she gave herself a make-over. Then i realized, she was probably wearing it for me.
I wear black pants everyday. I think it looks nice on me. I only have one pair of this material and type. I cant help but think her fashion statement was a nod to my pants.
In the past, i never made the connection. But now its so obvious: some women will dress up sexy for a specific person but not tell them they did. Its all non-verbal. Subjective. Ambigious. The most subtle version of flirting in my opinion.
It was a great revelation into how women think and flirt.
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏
  Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise   Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 |  Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! Shpongle
     
|
CapSlinger


Registered: 05/17/11
Posts: 982
Loc: Colorado rocky mountain high
|
|
|
RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 24 minutes
|
|
Will you make an attempt to confirm your suspicion, or is it more fun to not?
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Classic men thinking women are doing things for them specifically.
|
RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 24 minutes
|
|
Don't condemn men for hoping women are interested in them.
Men are increasingly maligned & smeared these days.
Or is that my toxic masculinity talking again?
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
I didn't condemn him.
|
RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 24 minutes
|
|
Just reacting to the never-ending negative male stereotypes that are thrown around these days. So often by people who claim they oppose gender roles and gender stereotypes. You don't think "Classic men thinking women are doing things for them specifically" is a generalized condemnation of men? Or at least ridicule?
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
She likely didn't dress up for him specifically. Inexperienced (e.g. young) women are unaware that men think like this. Experienced women dressing like this are doing it for their own social advantage. Classically, men think it's for them specifically when it is not; unless of course there is already a well established courting going on.
I don't think it's condemning at all. I think its healthy to call it out as a phenomenon; too many women get harassed because men think that they are being enticed by a woman who is dressing for social purposes. Generally speaking, women are very upfront with who they are interested in. Women who play hard to get may be interested by proxy, which makes their flirting with men more about themselves than it makes it about the man. Indirectness is a sign of insecurity, and insecurity that is misinterpreted by men is a recipe for harassment.
To Logical Chaos' point, I think a lot of flirting can be ambiguous; but in the modern age, the array of "ambiguous flirtatious actions one can take" has narrowed significantly. We live in an age with the internet; every action you take has social ramifications; ambiguity doesn't exist in the 1st world dating scene. If you want to date someone, you should ask them out because if you fuck up, you can easily get a charge. If you are wrong, you incur significant long-lasting social damage i.e. be known as "the guy who thinks all women are flirting with him specifically". Gone are the days you can flirt with someone in a bar in New York then move to San Francisco and start over; I suspect the days where you can become a true expat are also disappearing due to increased surveillance technology.
In some ways, this is probably a good thing. The best way to prevent rape and robbery is by being well known in your community. If the world is now a known entity, it's harder to get away with crime. The unintended consequences to this is that there is "less magic"; i.e. you can't bullshit. I think men and women aren't entirely sure how to bring primal instincts into congruence with the modern situation. And if ancient china's legalist dynasties are historical precedent, then restricting human freedom to an ever increasing degree can result in societal collapse due to malaise and loss of creativity with inevitable unrest as the human spirit becomes tamed to a degree that provokes unrest.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk I didn't expect to go off in S&R.
Also, final note: to me, toxic masculinity is more about men not feeling free to talk about their feelings then it is about flirting. Being a sole provider is not a problem; feeling like you must be the sole provider or else you are a failure could be a problem, especially if it leads you down a road of failure because no one is actually a sole provider in such an interconnected world. Toxic masculinity leads men to suffer in silence because "sole providers (men) don't need help from others" and hence a downward spiral which is not being addressed by society's perverse expectations of men.
Edited by Anonymous (04/04/23 08:40 AM)
|
theRealrollforever
I DID-DENT



Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,736
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 1 day, 2 hours
|
|
I think someone has been reading too many pronoun articles...
The world will have less crime because of the internet and surveillance?

You absolutely can go to a bar in NYC, and if you move to SF, people will definitely not be familiar with whatever you did. Barring a heinous crime maybe. Are you even LISHTENING to yourself?
Edited by theRealrollforever (04/04/23 09:02 AM)
|
RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 24 minutes
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous #2 said:
...to me, toxic masculinity is more about men not feeling free to talk about their feelings then it is about flirting.
Yesterday my brother was scolded by two business partners for the "tone" he used during a business meeting. He simply stated how he felt. He said he was frustrated by some things that had gone on.
He was scolded by two other men for being honest about his feelings. He said nothing mean and was not angry. He simply explained why he was frustrated. They told him he used the "wrong tone."
It appears men are attempting to castrate other men.
All in the name of being "progressive"!
We are really going down the shit hole . . .
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
|
Ppl in general are too whiney/soft.. They cannot stand to admit being wrong Men and women alike collide on a weird competitive capitalist fuckry, where nobody should tell them things they don't like or that differ from their idea or opinion. In the wrong tone? Bahahja sounds like my wife.
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: ashfiken] 1
#28262251 - 04/04/23 03:05 PM (9 months, 19 days ago) |
|
|
Society is becoming progressively feminized; love it or hate it, more women are taking on roles of power and attaining higher levels of education. I think it's generally a good thing for society; globalization will not work with a conqueror cowboyish attitude.
If any of you have stepped foot on a college campus recently you'll see that the more socialized and domesticated the young man, the more successful he tends to be with women. Those college educated youth are the ones who get the job running the companies and the institutions that make society work. Tone does in fact matter. If you don't have control over your tone, what else are you unable to control? Your attitude is important just as much as what you're saying. In reality, the distinction between form and function is probably an illusion.
Earnest Hemmingway would not thrive in the modern world. He barely survived in his own time.
Edited by Anonymous (04/04/23 03:08 PM)
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
|
Ernest* was a top man's man for sure. See the thing as I see it is, feminised isn't even the way its going because women are being stripped of all the feminine qualities they once had bc of the incentives gained in our society(money,Independence,achievement) Without all the complexities females being naturally feminine and able to do feminine things is a primally attractive thing, as well as a beneficial thing, for both genders. There's plenty of more historical societies instances where women played a vital decision making role, were seen as equals and capable, yet were still women, doing female hominid things. It can easily be a nice harmony. Imo. But if you trade subsistence for a 1st world civilized capitalist 🥕, with other incentives, and drives and directions us monkeys can barely comprehend and understand by the time we are exposed to them.. And powerful and intelligent, driven and successful women are great. Women athletes many are badasses at what they do. Thats lovely and let them do it. But designing generations for both male and female to paper chase, leads for inept or barely there parenting in many cases. Among other very interesting, to me, factors, like how wages have never kept up with inflation and have stagnated, largely to me in what is just a simple macroeconomic shift. Men were making enough for a whole American family to live decent. This is BLUE collar. Not anymore.. Macroecon(how I sees it) Supply and demand jobs in (usa) male to female ratio 50/50 (in usa at pre womens equality movement)for sake of whatever
Men are only workforce pre 196X All jobs went to men 100% of jobs 0~% to women Supply of workers is lowest here(pop too) Demand must maintain these workers, esp with unionization, wages could maybe rise as the years pass
Men and women are workforce 2020 60?% of jobs goto men, 40?% to women Now there is 2x as many Potential workers figuring 50/50 ratio Now 40%is of Men are "giving jobs up" to women. Plenty of supply of workers here. Men work "best jobs" get paid more, if lucky. Women work and can be successful, There will always be a stopgap of enemployed potential workers. Demand is nothing, companies rule the labor market and economic landscape. Burden falls on worker to "maintain" Wages never increase properly But then leaves also much more burden on all of society just beginning with these few reasons.
For alotta reasons I think the "conservative" style really served us better as emotional creatures than this mess. I guess I don't buy the socialized domesticated yadda. A man can be a man's man and a woman's man. If a dude wants to be a girly guy cool whatever, I guess not my thing. But we need Men. And we need WOMEN. Hell look at the birth rate wonder why that's down? Women should be given more credence than they even are now in a equal govenernance kinda way, it would just be cool If they were outta the workforce. And I think women being women brings value. On a wider scale than individual success(s)
Women are becoming more (centrist?) In their gender roles and so are men and it's and interesting and possibly troubling thing to me. But I guess if we ain't birthing many children atleast we won't be conserving any population to carry on the economic fuxkry the US is all built off of.
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
|
I read the first few posts on this. I was interested because I dress up for work. And I love dressing up. I don't dress up as much as I used to. I used to wear a dress or pant suit almost everyday. I still do but I am a little more relaxed. BUT I never dressed up for anyone else. I wondered if some of the advances I got from men was because they misinterpreted it and thought it was for them. This kind of confirms that thought. Interesting to me.
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,297
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 3 hours, 6 minutes
|
|
So my signs were #1, the first potluck we had, she was giving me "The Look". The Look is a lusty gaze that non-verbally says "If we were alone, i would make-out with you".
My 2nd sign was i wear black, including pants, hoodie and boots, everyday while she wears more softer pastel colors.
Third sign was the most important. Theres these tables in the breakroom with little cell phone stands. Usually she sits forward but this time, she pointed the cell phone stand directly toward me and sat on her leg semi-cross-legged. And i could see her glancing over her phone directly at me.
Sadly, she has a guy friend (he may have feelings for her but hasnt made his move perhaps) who is now my lead so making a move on her could make it awkward for my work life and such. So right now, im hanging back from afar and just enjoying her subtly.
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏
  Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise   Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 |  Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! Shpongle
     
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,297
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 3 hours, 6 minutes
|
|
And i have Joyanima from YT to thank for explaining the subtle signs of flirting that women use. Shes been a God send for demystifying female behaviour.
Now when i interact with a woman, i look for at least 2 out of the 19 signs of flirting to confirm that shes interested in me. If theres only 1 sign, then i leave as a "maybe", especially the dressing up one since that one is very context-dependent.
|
BeeZee
Nunya



Registered: 06/08/20
Posts: 2,462
Loc: 321
|
|
Honestly from my point of view you seem creepy...
|
Abombs
Chaotic Neutral



Registered: 08/17/21
Posts: 884
Last seen: 5 months, 21 days
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: BeeZee]
#28263116 - 04/05/23 07:38 AM (9 months, 18 days ago) |
|
|
My physio therapist booked me for an evening appointment and she wore heals and and a red dress. She said she had a thing after the appointment but her physio clinic was in her basement. Sooo? Fuck I'm bad at reading people.
|
RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 24 minutes
|
|
Quote:
LogicaL Chaos said:
So my signs were #1, the first potluck we had, she was giving me "The Look". The Look is a lusty gaze that non-verbally says "If we were alone, i would make-out with you".
The feminist movement describes the "male gaze" as objectifying, sexualizing, and diminishing women. When men view women as sexual passive objects that exist for the pleasure of males.
They claim the male hyper-sexualization of women thwarts a man's castration anxiety via practices of voyeurism-sadism and fetishization of the female body. Fueled by patriarchy and socio-political inequality.
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
|
Jesus christ what happened to looking at women bc the are beautiful creatures. This over sexualization shit is insane. I gaze at women I find attractive, same as I gaze at a tree or a hawk. Wtf. Jus bc we can make sex nobody is being objectified,or diminished. What's wrong with sheer appreciation.
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
theRealrollforever
I DID-DENT



Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,736
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 1 day, 2 hours
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: ashfiken]
#28263167 - 04/05/23 08:17 AM (9 months, 18 days ago) |
|
|
I feel like that's a train of thought that would likely lead to a lot of oversexualization and misogyny in the form of unwanted gazes in public, careful where you spread that mutiny.
---a concerned millenial
--------------------
sunshine said: The order has to be secret and no one is sure.
|
RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 24 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: ashfiken]
#28263176 - 04/05/23 08:20 AM (9 months, 18 days ago) |
|
|
In general, I agree with you. Men are being demonized these days and this is just one of the demeaning avenues. Recently it's become popular to believe that men and women are the same (once you remove cultural gender roles & stereotypes) yet men have to deal with 10 to 20 times the testosterone levels as women. That's a huge difference!
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
|
What is this "unwanted gazes" nobody is being a weirdo or a staring while stroking perv here.. An attentive glance is all it takes, there is no need to be overt or egregious with how one notices beauty.. Or are we as humans just not supposed to look at each other? I mean come on. Is the hawk mad and flying away bc I am appreciative in my eye casting? It only leads to oversexualization if you are a rude, inept, and possibly sex starved, jerk.
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
|
Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said: In general, I agree with you. Men are being demonized these days and this is just one of the demeaning avenues. Recently it's become popular to believe that men and women are the same (once you remove cultural gender roles & stereotypes) yet men have to deal with 10 to 20 times the testosterone levels as women. That's a huge difference!
Yeah we are the same :eyeroll: just as much as a biological woman with a penis is really a biological male. No matter how much test is prescribed the chromosomes are the damn same. I believe in equality to the most, but not full court psuedo-adrogeny or whatever you can call this sillyness
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: ashfiken] 1
#28263256 - 04/05/23 09:00 AM (9 months, 18 days ago) |
|
|
Just because you want to look at women doesn't mean women want to be looked at. The female experience is confusing.
You're 6 years old and get to play with all your male friends without a shirt, then you turn 14 and suddenly people are treating you different and you're segregated. Then you turn 18 and men give you things for no reason at all. Then you turn 21 and you realize you can have anything you want in the world. Then you turn 25 and you realize that men have been manipulating you for their own sexual gains and you now have some scars because of it; all you really want is someone to care about your inner world; your experience. Then you have a child and realize they too will learn all of that as well. Then you turn 35 and men who said "you're beautiful" were really just saying "you're hot" while continuing to say "I like looking at you because you're beautiful." Yet here you still are; should you say fuck the system? Should you play it for your own benefit? Dress in high heels and put your ass on the gram? It's a difficult dichotomy to balance, one where you don't want to be objectified yet playing the game gives you an edge that is undeniable. Both are true. Its a dangerous game, and for this reason we should protect women from predatory men by calling men out. Women can play the game for their own benefit. How a woman dresses is not for men.
A grandmother is beautiful. A child is beautiful. Women and men are beautiful. People are beautiful. Spend time with beauty. Lustful gaze is toward hotness.
Edited by Anonymous (04/05/23 09:06 AM)
|
RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 24 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: ashfiken] 3
#28263257 - 04/05/23 09:00 AM (9 months, 18 days ago) |
|
|
BTW, I assume trans people don't embrace the belief males & females are the same. I assume a prerequisite for believing you were born in the wrong body is to believe males & females are different. On the other hand, maybe the non-binary crowd believes males & females are the same.
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
|
Anon 2: women absolutely have it tough, in a sociological sense it is def more confusing for a female. But men don't just have it easy or anything either. Social/sexual manipulation is not moral period. I don't think a glance of appreciation translates to that. If a woman doesn't wanna be looked at then maybe stay home? If a man doesn't wanna be looked at he should do the same? I mean we all have eyes, ppl are going to be aware of things around them.. This should not be immediately offensive to any party. Women should absolutely be protected from veritable predators. An appreciative and natural glance, in a far from rude way, may have some sense of lust, but doesn't equate a lustful gaze. I think the biggest difference here is the wantoness to cut and dry separate, value of beauty, and lustful objectivization/sexualization. This shit gets harder as time goes on, bc ppl are so FUCKED.
RJTubs That Is a very well thought out line of thinking. And you are absolutely right if I thought they were the same why would I want to be the other or feel I'm the "wrong" one. Nice capstone with the nonbinary folks 👌 I'd hope they know they are different and just feel like they are their own share of both.. or their own neither nor? Things are very muddled nowadays, and somehow men that just wanna be men, kind, yet gender role classical, are looked at as some kind of foreign beast. I first started noticing the difference being widened when dudes started wearing jeans with bedazzles on the back pockets
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
Edited by ashfiken (04/05/23 09:59 AM)
|
theRealrollforever
I DID-DENT



Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,736
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 1 day, 2 hours
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: ashfiken]
#28263389 - 04/05/23 10:30 AM (9 months, 18 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
ashfiken said: What is this "unwanted gazes" nobody is being a weirdo or a staring while stroking perv here.. An attentive glance is all it takes, there is no need to be overt or egregious with how one notices beauty.. Or are we as humans just not supposed to look at each other? I mean come on. Is the hawk mad and flying away bc I am appreciative in my eye casting? It only leads to oversexualization if you are a rude, inept, and possibly sex starved, jerk.
I was being facetious
We haven't interacted much or you'd know I'm pretty much on the same page as you. as long as that page uses my proper pronouns /s
--------------------
sunshine said: The order has to be secret and no one is sure.
|
myc_ousin_vinny
Keeping_It_Real



Registered: 04/29/20
Posts: 1,415
|
|
Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
LogicaL Chaos said:
So my signs were #1, the first potluck we had, she was giving me "The Look". The Look is a lusty gaze that non-verbally says "If we were alone, i would make-out with you".
The feminist movement describes the "male gaze" as objectifying, sexualizing, and diminishing women. When men view women as sexual passive objects that exist for the pleasure of males.
They claim the male hyper-sexualization of women thwarts a man's castration anxiety via practices of voyeurism-sadism and fetishization of the female body. Fueled by patriarchy and socio-political inequality.
The feminist movement is retarded then.
Edited by myc_ousin_vinny (04/05/23 01:20 PM)
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
|
Quote:
theRealrollforever said:
Quote:
ashfiken said: What is this "unwanted gazes" nobody is being a weirdo or a staring while stroking perv here.. An attentive glance is all it takes, there is no need to be overt or egregious with how one notices beauty.. Or are we as humans just not supposed to look at each other? I mean come on. Is the hawk mad and flying away bc I am appreciative in my eye casting? It only leads to oversexualization if you are a rude, inept, and possibly sex starved, jerk.
I was being facetious
We haven't interacted much or you'd know I'm pretty much on the same page as you. as long as that page uses my proper pronouns /s
Lmfao. Thanks you bro. Cheers!
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
Anonymous #2
|
|
This entire discussion is kind of a mess.
OP, you're not wrong, but with this few data points I don't really see much cause to pursue this line of thought. You can ask her out (I'd advise against it as dating colleagues is messy) but if you aren't going to put this whole thing outta your mind and FAST cause it'll only destabilize your mind. I'm already sensing some of that honestly. There's a way for people to write in this overly-analytical faux reasonable manner that tends to belie a certain degree of, in modern parlance, "being schizo".
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
|
Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
LogicaL Chaos said:
So my signs were #1, the first potluck we had, she was giving me "The Look". The Look is a lusty gaze that non-verbally says "If we were alone, i would make-out with you".
The feminist movement describes the "male gaze" as objectifying, sexualizing, and diminishing women. When men view women as sexual passive objects that exist for the pleasure of males.
They claim the male hyper-sexualization of women thwarts a man's castration anxiety via practices of voyeurism-sadism and fetishization of the female body. Fueled by patriarchy and socio-political inequality.
I am apt to agree with that.
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
myc_ousin_vinny
Keeping_It_Real



Registered: 04/29/20
Posts: 1,415
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: loladoreen]
#28265686 - 04/06/23 04:52 PM (9 months, 17 days ago) |
|
|
Men can’t gaze at women. Ok. We’re in upside down world now. 😏
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Quote:
myc_ousin_vinny said: Men can’t gaze at women. Ok. We’re in upside down world now. 😏
Men can gaze at women; just know that it generally makes them uncomfortable and the younger generation knows this as well, hence they are no longer staring at women as much.
It is becoming well known that men gazing at women has sexual undertones, and this world is becoming less tolerant of unwanted sexuality. Gaze at women at your own social risk.
|
myc_ousin_vinny
Keeping_It_Real



Registered: 04/29/20
Posts: 1,415
|
|
What the fuck ever.
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous #2 said:
Quote:
myc_ousin_vinny said: Men can’t gaze at women. Ok. We’re in upside down world now. 😏
Men can gaze at women; just know that it generally makes them uncomfortable and the younger generation knows this as well, hence they are no longer staring at women as much.
It is becoming well known that men gazing at women has sexual undertones, and this world is becoming less tolerant of unwanted sexuality. Gaze at women at your own social risk.
Agree I don't think every man that gazes at me has sexual motives... I don't . But its creepy when a gaze feels like a stare. I have never met a woman that has not been sexually assaulted, stalked, or abused in some way. If you are not that man, then that is awesome!!!! No one is ever saying all men. But... a lot do.. A LOT
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: loladoreen] 2
#28265925 - 04/06/23 06:48 PM (9 months, 17 days ago) |
|
|
Same foolish fucks paying for onlyfans subscriptions. Weak sexually manipulated and prob mostly sex starved and mostly dumb male primates. Females like to have sex too. All this oversexualization shit is nonsense. Rape culture is absolute a thing but Jesus christ this is out there. But acting like males and females are anything but 2 genders of a well developed species of primate, that commonly, like to fuxk(m&f) and is a natural occurrence creating the growth of our species.
I "gaze" at all humans. And while yes usually if a woman is shaped in a way I like, or w/e, yes I will glance at her body, but mostly I look at ppl in the face. I look in their eyes. How is that sexual? I do it to men. I am hetero. Everyone deserves to be recognized as a fucking entity so I look at them. Sometimes I am perceiving a threat, or maybe looking for kindness and humility, or maybe looking for an ill eat your socks off your feet look. All depending upon a mutual interaction between two equals. It's wild to think this is somehow "among the younger gen" fucking taboo. Some woke stupid fucking monkeys the lot
I think also all women should carry guns in America and know how to use them safely and properly.
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 24 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: ashfiken] 2
#28272374 - 04/11/23 07:34 AM (9 months, 12 days ago) |
|
|
As a male, I never feel objectified when a female stares at me. I was once stalked by a girlfriend (for example, she'd park in front of my house spying on me) but I never felt offended or thought of it as assault.
I'm not offended by women who are infatuated with Channing Tatum, Tom Brady, Zac Efron, George Clooney, Liam Hemsworth, or Brad Pitt. I'm not offended if women want to see male strippers during a bachelorette party.
I'm not offended if a female boss at work asks me for oral sex as a condition for a job promotion. I'd feel honored she asked. People are too sensitive these days.
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said: As a male, I never feel objectified when a female stares at me. I was once stalked by a girlfriend (for example, she'd park in front of my house spying on me) but I never felt offended or thought of it as assault.
I'm not offended by women who are infatuated with Channing Tatum, Tom Brady, Zac Efron, George Clooney, Liam Hemsworth, or Brad Pitt. I'm not offended if women want to see male strippers during a bachelorette party.
I'm not offended if a female boss at work asks me for oral sex as a condition for a job promotion. I'd feel honored she asked. People are too sensitive these days.
Key word here: you're a male.
Imagine if you had to suck a dick and swallow cum to earn a promotion, then take it up the asshole into your tight sphincter in order to be appreciated. Now imagine that everyone you walk past would like to bend you over and take your sweet ass, then never talk to you again. Then imagine you may have to raise a child because of this. Now imagine that all the people you are potentially a victim to will come up to you on the daily and offer you things. Imagine how confusing it would be for you to differentiate your own worth vs people who are trying to manipulate you on a daily basis. As a woman, it is damn hard to differentiate a good actor from a bad actor.
Do you see the problem here?
Edited by Anonymous (04/11/23 09:13 AM)
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,297
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 3 hours, 6 minutes
|
|
Annon #2 has a point, thats the male privilage. Several years ago, I was once thoroghly-gazed/flirted with by a gay dude at a bar. That night, i saw a small glimpse of what its like to be a woman. It was a very enlightening, eye-opening experience.
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
|
Do you trust believe/think it is as extreme as, "everyone you walk by just wants to fuck and leave me"? Paraphrase slightly i apologize. If thus is the case I feel sorry for you bc you are even more cynical/jaded than I am, and that is going some distance. Geez. If this was the level we actually were operating on, then you would be the type of woman, or man, that would refuse their spouse, straight friends of the opposite gender. I am sorry you have been so negatively impacted by males or sexuality or whatever it was, truly sorry. And I'm not denying shit is fucked up, out there, but I see it more as a sociological problem, with much deeper roots than sexuality alone. Much less the very specific and hurtful(to all parties) premise that you describe as your own experience. Which sux But goddamn all humans/males aren't rabid sex frothed animals, even if you are 10/10 and everyone wants to have sex with you or w/e. Again I'm sorry for your terrible experiences on this matter that must have brought you to this conclusion
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
Edited by ashfiken (04/11/23 04:19 PM)
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
|
Quote:
LogicaL Chaos said: Annon #2 has a point, thats the male privilage. Several years ago, I was once thoroghly-gazed/flirted with by a gay dude at a bar. That night, i saw a small glimpse of what its like to be a woman. It was a very enlightening, eye-opening experience.
I have been hit on by a gay man, it's not that bad, the few occasions it's happened, either one of these; My facial expression says, I have no interest in you or your ass/cock. If we speak, it's pretty simple and is said; "generic I am hetero statement here" Or I say something or act in a way with no intent, that makes clear to the fellow, that I am not gay. And the human judges for himself where he would stand if he attempted "flirting" any farther.
All this with no meanness
Quote:
LogicaL Chaos said: Annon #2 has a point, thats the male privilage. Several years ago, I was once thoroghly-gazed/flirted with by a gay dude at a bar. That night, i saw a small glimpse of what its like to be a woman. It was a very enlightening, eye-opening experience.
Ime it's never been difficult to dismiss a gay dude, in a variety of ways. To no degree that I've ever felt any kind of way really except unamused, at most.
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
I know very few men that I don't think our pigs and only view women as sexual objects.
|
LocN9ne
ɢᄋᄋd ԲᄋЯ ᄁᄋȚᅢΙᄁɢ ᄂᄋ₩ᄂΙԲᄐ



Registered: 04/17/15
Posts: 7,076
Loc: to the brain
|
|
Women get dressed up for other people, period... If it was for themselves, they would get all dressed up when they planned to stay home by themselves, but they don't... Because they don't. They can say they do it for themselves, and they probably believe themselves when they say it... But it's just simply not true.
--------------------
Q&A US vs. THEM The more I learn, the less I know.
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
Wrong There's housewives everywhere that dress up every day.
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous #4 said: Wrong There's housewives everywhere that dress up every day.
I concur; and even following the "women dress up for men" argument is still women dressing up for themselves because women benefit from men thinking that they are beautiful/sexy/attractive; women gain social benefit for themselves, not for men. Men get secondary benefit from women dressing up for themselves.
|
Lynnch
Strangerer



Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,852
|
|
I just gotta point out here: 'Feminism' encompasses decades long movements and counter movements, and libraries full of academic discourse and theory. Reducing it down to "Wow, so men can't even look at women?!?" is dumb as fuck.
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: Lynnch]
#28275804 - 04/13/23 12:08 PM (9 months, 10 days ago) |
|
|
But that is what was said bruv Zero reduction
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: Lynnch]
#28275805 - 04/13/23 12:10 PM (9 months, 10 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Lynnch said: I just gotta point out here: 'Feminism' encompasses decades long movements and counter movements, and libraries full of academic discourse and theory. Reducing it down to "Wow, so men can't even look at women?!?" is dumb as fuck.
That just means there was disposable time to write about the subject. Reductive doesn't mean wrong and repetition has never made something more legitimate. There's extensive writings about the importance of Catholic theocracy too, but it can be very succinctly shortened to "Land owners who swear fealty to the pope should be in charge cause I said so".
But anyway. That's not really relevant here. Just something that irked me a little. OP sounds very old and very lonely so while I don't think his thinking is healthy I don't wanna lay into him too much.
Edited by Anonymous (04/13/23 12:15 PM)
|
Lynnch
Strangerer



Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,852
|
|
No, it means there are a variety of viewpoints and topics covered. Even the idea of the male gaze- can be reduced down to interpersonal situations, but is really meant to explore societal level issues like female representations in media and beauty standards etc. It irks me when folks remove all nuance from a subject and then go on little rants out of ignorance 
I also think OP should chill out a little, because seeking 'signs' to find out if someone is into you is a quick way to drive yourself insane.
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: Lynnch]
#28277005 - 04/14/23 08:19 AM (9 months, 9 days ago) |
|
|
I dont think this subject was meant to have much nuance, ppl just came to post feminist charged responses and it devolved. Yeah there is alot of relative issues topics and viewpoints. Cool.
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: ashfiken] 1
#28277091 - 04/14/23 09:20 AM (9 months, 9 days ago) |
|
|
I'm going to male gaze at you so you can see how it feels.
You'll be like "what's your problem, bro?" and then I'll be like "feels strange to be objectified huh buddy?" and then you'll realize that I have objectified you and your likelihood of being robbed has just gone up x300%.
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
|
Interesting
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: ashfiken] 1
#28277166 - 04/14/23 10:07 AM (9 months, 9 days ago) |
|
|
Kind of think it would be hot for me to be objectified by a woman. After being taught as a male in the US that you ought to provide, in various ways, to maintain any sort of relationship bc thats what is expected of you. And that provision, to me has always seemed quite lopsided.. What you can do for em, what you can produce, how much money you have to spend, how much can their tender emotional self rely on you. Not much provision for the male side in that arena.. In addition tobow down to everyone above you in the social hierarchy(just a poor hetero white guy,here), man or woman, bc you prefer not be in prison and have to make money to survive. When you are a weirdo and don't have the same drives or values as nearly everyone around you, bc you just want the simple shit, peace, affection, and few creature comforts..
Think itd be nice once in a while for a woman to just bang me or kiss me or engage or whatever me bc I am objectively attractive to them and nothing more. It's unweighted stroking of the ego, and not like that stroke cannot be returned to the other.. seems kinda positive. Think I'd handle the gaze. As an average male, I doubt to ever experience this, and for a woman, it is upsetting and damaging clearly.. And that is def a bug in the system where women have been fuxking traumatized in this world
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: Lynnch]
#28277177 - 04/14/23 10:16 AM (9 months, 9 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Lynnch said: No, it means there are a variety of viewpoints and topics covered. Even the idea of the male gaze- can be reduced down to interpersonal situations, but is really meant to explore societal level issues like female representations in media and beauty standards etc. It irks me when folks remove all nuance from a subject and then go on little rants out of ignorance 
I also think OP should chill out a little, because seeking 'signs' to find out if someone is into you is a quick way to drive yourself insane.
"You're just stupid". Just call me stupid. Come on. You didn't need to say all that. Just say "I think I'm morally and intellectually superior to you". It's not hard.
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: ashfiken]
#28277223 - 04/14/23 10:46 AM (9 months, 9 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
ashfiken said: Kind of think it would be hot for me to be objectified by a woman. After being taught as a male in the US that you ought to provide, in various ways, to maintain any sort of relationship bc thats what is expected of you. And that provision, to me has always seemed quite lopsided.. What you can do for em, what you can produce, how much money you have to spend, how much can their tender emotional self rely on you. Not much provision for the male side in that arena.. In addition tobow down to everyone above you in the social hierarchy(just a poor hetero white guy,here), man or woman, bc you prefer not be in prison and have to make money to survive. When you are a weirdo and don't have the same drives or values as nearly everyone around you, bc you just want the simple shit, peace, affection, and few creature comforts..
Think itd be nice once in a while for a woman to just bang me or kiss me or engage or whatever me bc I am objectively attractive to them and nothing more. It's unweighted stroking of the ego, and not like that stroke cannot be returned to the other.. seems kinda positive. Think I'd handle the gaze. As an average male, I doubt to ever experience this, and for a woman, it is upsetting and damaging clearly.. And that is def a bug in the system where women have been fuxking traumatized in this world
You can easily access this if you try being a bottom for a bit. I understand that is not how sexuality works, but also, nothing bad will happen if you just try it out.
|
LocN9ne
ɢᄋᄋd ԲᄋЯ ᄁᄋȚᅢΙᄁɢ ᄂᄋ₩ᄂΙԲᄐ



Registered: 04/17/15
Posts: 7,076
Loc: to the brain
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous #4 said: Wrong There's housewives everywhere that dress up every day.
No there is not... You will never show up to a woman's house unexpected when she has no plans of going out, and catch her with her makeup to the nines and dressed to the max... That does not happen. And if you do find the one woman in the world who does that, it doesn't count for the majority of the rest of them.
--------------------
Q&A US vs. THEM The more I learn, the less I know.
|
LocN9ne
ɢᄋᄋd ԲᄋЯ ᄁᄋȚᅢΙᄁɢ ᄂᄋ₩ᄂΙԲᄐ



Registered: 04/17/15
Posts: 7,076
Loc: to the brain
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: LocN9ne]
#28277449 - 04/14/23 01:28 PM (9 months, 9 days ago) |
|
|
I apologize in advance for the double post. It's been a while since I've been on here and trying to remember the functions. And I'm on my lunch break. But any man who has ever gone shopping with a woman has been asked. "How does this look?" "Or does this look good on me?" ..." Or does this make me look fat?"
Why would those questions be asked by every woman if she was just dressing up for herself?
--------------------
Q&A US vs. THEM The more I learn, the less I know.
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: LocN9ne]
#28277460 - 04/14/23 01:33 PM (9 months, 9 days ago) |
|
|
Because the gain that she receives is contingent on her appropriately gaming your narcistic belief that "she is dressing up for me specifically."
If you approve then she will in fact receive social benefit. If you tell her that her dressing strategy is ineffective, then she will change her attire so that she can be effective and make social gains.
Its really not hard to understand that women are not dressing up for men.
|
pslyke
fantasmagoric



Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 4,092
Loc:
Last seen: 1 minute, 41 seconds
|
|
It's Friday again! Any more displays of sexiness by the workplace temptress?
-------------------- "What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein "The conservatives of 70 years ago would be outraged at what has come to pass. It embodies everything they took up arms for to defeat"Asante
|
theRealrollforever
I DID-DENT



Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,736
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 1 day, 2 hours
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous #2 said: Because the gain that she receives is contingent on her appropriately gaming your narcistic belief that "she is dressing up for me specifically."
If you approve then she will in fact receive social benefit. If you tell her that her dressing strategy is ineffective, then she will change her attire so that she can be effective and make social gains.
Its really not hard to understand that women are not dressing up for men.
You must be fun at parties and get togethers...
--------------------
sunshine said: The order has to be secret and no one is sure.
|
myc_ousin_vinny
Keeping_It_Real



Registered: 04/29/20
Posts: 1,415
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: pslyke]
#28277531 - 04/14/23 02:28 PM (9 months, 9 days ago) |
|
|
Social gains == men like how they dress….
Derp
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Quote:
theRealrollforever said:
Quote:
Anonymous #2 said: Because the gain that she receives is contingent on her appropriately gaming your narcistic belief that "she is dressing up for me specifically."
If you approve then she will in fact receive social benefit. If you tell her that her dressing strategy is ineffective, then she will change her attire so that she can be effective and make social gains.
Its really not hard to understand that women are not dressing up for men.
You must be fun at parties and get togethers...
I don't go to the kinds of parties you go to fascist!
|
theRealrollforever
I DID-DENT



Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,736
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 1 day, 2 hours
|
|
You oughta know sweetie!
--------------------
sunshine said: The order has to be secret and no one is sure.
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Quote:
myc_ousin_vinny said: Social gains == men like how they dress….
Derp
Men liking how women dress is not the reason why women dress the way the dress. It's because they get benefit from appealing to men.
Your partner may dress S E X Y for you, but that random woman you ran into at the store is not!
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Quote:
theRealrollforever said: You oughta know sweetie!
Don't patronize me Dad!
|
myc_ousin_vinny
Keeping_It_Real



Registered: 04/29/20
Posts: 1,415
|
|
"It's because they get benefit from appealing to men."
What men are you talking about? Their significant others only? You don't make sense.
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: LocN9ne]
#28277659 - 04/14/23 03:49 PM (9 months, 9 days ago) |
|
|
What is your definition to the nines. I have friends that fix their hair and makeup everyday and dress up as much as I do for work. Business professional casual. Some are single, some are married, one is widowed. They have always been that way. My mom, aunts and grandmothers were like that. They actually wore dresses, heels and pearls.
Edited by Anonymous (04/14/23 10:12 PM)
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Quote:
myc_ousin_vinny said: "It's because they get benefit from appealing to men."
What men are you talking about? Their significant others only? You don't make sense.
If you think you are able to court a woman, you will treat her better than if you don't believe that. All men boyo.
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous #2 said:
Quote:
myc_ousin_vinny said: "It's because they get benefit from appealing to men."
What men are you talking about? Their significant others only? You don't make sense.
If you think you are able to court a woman, you will treat her better than if you don't believe that. All men boyo.
wow. I remember being courted and they were gentleman and it was a love affair not a hook up. It was satisfying and fulfilling.
|
myc_ousin_vinny
Keeping_It_Real



Registered: 04/29/20
Posts: 1,415
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous #2 said:
Quote:
myc_ousin_vinny said: "It's because they get benefit from appealing to men."
What men are you talking about? Their significant others only? You don't make sense.
If you think you are able to court a woman, you will treat her better than if you don't believe that. All men boyo.
Exactly my point. Women want attention from most men when they dress up… not their girlfriends or for themselves or whatever.
|
theRealrollforever
I DID-DENT



Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,736
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 1 day, 2 hours
|
|
I'm a feminist
Also me: if you love me stir my eggs will ya?
--------------------
sunshine said: The order has to be secret and no one is sure.
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
I am someone who dresses up a lot. When I was younger I dressed up for my partner, but only because my partner would express that he liked it. I have not been with a man that is like that in over 25 years. I 100% dress up because I like it. I like clothes, I like getting ready, I like the entire process and when it is completed.
|
pslyke
fantasmagoric



Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 4,092
Loc:
Last seen: 1 minute, 41 seconds
|
|
I'm glad to learn that the person I thought might be annon #2 is really annon #4.
-------------------- "What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein "The conservatives of 70 years ago would be outraged at what has come to pass. It embodies everything they took up arms for to defeat"Asante
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: pslyke]
#28278141 - 04/14/23 10:11 PM (9 months, 8 days ago) |
|
|
Why?
|
Anonymous #2
|
|
20 posts since I last checked oh my
|
oursoulsinmotion
🐵🙈🙉🙊


Registered: 10/04/21
Posts: 3,380
Last seen: 1 day, 3 hours
|
|
Yea this🤣
|
myc_ousin_vinny
Keeping_It_Real



Registered: 04/29/20
Posts: 1,415
|
|
A lot of women where I live go around in either yoga pants 24/7 or those swimsuits that crawl up the butt crack (on the beach). I find it to be a nice development in fashion.
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,297
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 3 hours, 6 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: pslyke]
#28279071 - 04/15/23 02:44 PM (9 months, 8 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
pslyke said: It's Friday again! Any more displays of sexiness by the workplace temptress?
Kinda of. Its more of a last Friday of the Month thing when we have a Potluck for the shift.
Its funny you say temptress, im pretty sure she is in some minor way. She did wear this sweater that hung off her shoulder. Pretty sexy. Still baggie jeans thou 
But the best part, she left early (lack of work). I was in the breakroom by myself, and she waved to me! 
I think Im in Love
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏
  Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise   Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 |  Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! Shpongle
     
|
pslyke
fantasmagoric



Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 4,092
Loc:
Last seen: 1 minute, 41 seconds
|
|
Dude, too bad you can't bottle that feeling. More intoxicating than anything you can buy off the self, that's for sure.
-------------------- "What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein "The conservatives of 70 years ago would be outraged at what has come to pass. It embodies everything they took up arms for to defeat"Asante
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,297
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 3 hours, 6 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: pslyke]
#28279619 - 04/15/23 09:04 PM (9 months, 7 days ago) |
|
|
Dude, its a truly rare feeling. I always get excited when something unexpected like that happens.
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
|
Now, I am curious how many men think I flirt with them. I have had some men hit on me with such confidence I wonder if they thought I was flirting. Or Received love poems, one guy expressed his love to me like we were old lovers. I barely knew him. In NO way am I making light of their feelings. I just have always wondered why.. and I am wondering if dressing up, because I love to dress up sends signals I am not intending. I thought I was going to be a fashion designer when I was a kid. I love sewing, clothes, drawing them, etc. I enjoy dressing up. Has nothing to do with another person. This gives me a new perspective to consider. I am not going to stop being my authentic self but it gives me something to think about.
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: loladoreen]
#28280988 - 04/16/23 06:44 PM (9 months, 7 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
loladoreen said: Now, I am curious how many men think I flirt with them. I have had some men hit on me with such confidence I wonder if they thought I was flirting. Or Received love poems, one guy expressed his love to me like we were old lovers. I barely knew him. In NO way am I making light of their feelings. I just have always wondered why.. and I am wondering if dressing up, because I love to dress up sends signals I am not intending. I thought I was going to be a fashion designer when I was a kid. I love sewing, clothes, drawing them, etc. I enjoy dressing up. Has nothing to do with another person. This gives me a new perspective to consider. I am not going to stop being my authentic self but it gives me something to think about.
Its always variable af! Men will hit on you IF they have the confidence , without any prior incentive besides maybe eye contact, others would not have the confidence to do so, others would be so desperate as to do so without any predisposition whatsoever.
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
|
None of it is offense to me. I hope I am not leaving that impression. And I don't get hit on a lot. I am told I am intimidating. Used to hurt my feelings. I am ok with it now. I do kinda wish I got hit on.. doesn't everyone a little. REPHRASE I wish I was flirted with not hit on.
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,297
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 3 hours, 6 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: loladoreen] 1
#28282816 - 04/17/23 09:35 PM (9 months, 5 days ago) |
|
|
Intidating women can be intidating to men for sure.
Its nice to be hit on/flirted with, a boast of confidence. However, it can be awkward for me if Im not attracted to the woman or if they are already taken.
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏
  Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise   Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 |  Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! Shpongle
     
|
LocN9ne
ɢᄋᄋd ԲᄋЯ ᄁᄋȚᅢΙᄁɢ ᄂᄋ₩ᄂΙԲᄐ



Registered: 04/17/15
Posts: 7,076
Loc: to the brain
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous #4 said: I am someone who dresses up a lot. When I was younger I dressed up for my partner, but only because my partner would express that he liked it. I have not been with a man that is like that in over 25 years. I 100% dress up because I like it. I like clothes, I like getting ready, I like the entire process and when it is completed.
There it is... I believe you, and you are right. At a certain age women stop dressing up strictly for male attention, and they begin dressing up in an attempt to hold on to their youth. At that point, her dressing up becomes for herself. But before that, nah.
--------------------
Q&A US vs. THEM The more I learn, the less I know.
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: LocN9ne]
#28285230 - 04/19/23 11:52 AM (9 months, 4 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
LocN9ne said:
Quote:
Anonymous #4 said: I am someone who dresses up a lot. When I was younger I dressed up for my partner, but only because my partner would express that he liked it. I have not been with a man that is like that in over 25 years. I 100% dress up because I like it. I like clothes, I like getting ready, I like the entire process and when it is completed.
There it is... I believe you, and you are right. At a certain age women stop dressing up strictly for male attention, and they begin dressing up in an attempt to hold on to their youth. At that point, her dressing up becomes for herself. But before that, nah.
Completely 100000% YES
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 24 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: loladoreen] 1
#28285344 - 04/19/23 01:03 PM (9 months, 4 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
loladoreen said:
I have had some men hit on me with such confidence I wonder if they thought I was flirting.
When a man is strongly attracted to a woman, it's often an incredibly emotional experience that he feels deeply. I'm skeptical women can understand this experience. I'm unsure words can even approach describing it accurately.
There's a school of thought (rarely discussed) that men are much more romantic than women. That women are quite naive about the male experience, and that men are the true romantics (despite the pervasive myth this is a mostly a female phenomenon)
BTW, notice in this age of so called "progressivism" we're still quite comfortable talking about men "hitting" on women. Isn't this violent language to use considering the actual behavior? Being "hit on" is generally a derogatory term used by females.
I've never ever heard a man complain about being "hit" on
It almost seems that men and women are different.
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
|
Wow.. your post has got me thinking. You are right on the hit on part. The romantic part.. I dont know.. I need to sit on that. I may not see it because I am not looking.
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 24 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: loladoreen] 1
#28287435 - 04/20/23 09:51 PM (9 months, 2 days ago) |
|
|
I've been reading some authors I'm new to, about men's issues, such as the feminization of men (Rollo Tomassi), and the nature of seduction. I'm new to a lot of it - I wish I would have learned this info decades ago. The gal on YouTube who does "The Means of Seduction" channel is fascinating, and her video, "Seduce with Your Eyes" is fantastic!
A couple of things - should we differentiate between romantic feelings and romantic behavior? I feel they might sometimes be different. Maybe when a man feels deep romantic feelings he is triggered by his emotional connection to his mother. When a woman feels deeply romantic for a man, does she cherish him in a deeply emotional fashion? It seems (maybe) women are attracted to other things in a man? Maybe what I'm considering is that romantic feelings in men and women may be very different.
BTW, when you are told you are intimidating, have you ever asked the person to dissect that a bit?
research is fun and interesting
|
myc_ousin_vinny
Keeping_It_Real



Registered: 04/29/20
Posts: 1,415
|
|
|
RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 24 minutes
|
|
Interesting article! I'll watch Hitchcock movies a bit differently now.
Partway through reading, as they talk about a man becoming primally transfixed with "deep, mythological, awed emotion" made me think of the feminist criticism of "the male gaze". And then they discuss exactly that topic a few paragraphs later.
I laughed at the remarks about the "vampiric degree" men have been bashed by feminists for making women objects and how men turn women into "meat". And the promotion of the idea "history is nothing but male oppression and female victimization"
And the article criticized the modern-day PC belief that our sexual identities are socially constructed and that there's nothing at all essentially "male" or "female."
~ it's a breath of fresh air ~
I wonder if women ever become primally transfixed with deep, mythological, awed emotion when it comes to men?
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
|
Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said: I've been reading some authors I'm new to, about men's issues, such as the feminization of men (Rollo Tomassi), and the nature of seduction. I'm new to a lot of it - I wish I would have learned this info decades ago. The gal on YouTube who does "The Means of Seduction" channel is fascinating, and her video, "Seduce with Your Eyes" is fantastic!
A couple of things - should we differentiate between romantic feelings and romantic behavior? I feel they might sometimes be different. Maybe when a man feels deep romantic feelings he is triggered by his emotional connection to his mother. When a woman feels deeply romantic for a man, does she cherish him in a deeply emotional fashion? It seems (maybe) women are attracted to other things in a man? Maybe what I'm considering is that romantic feelings in men and women may be very different.
BTW, when you are told you are intimidating, have you ever asked the person to dissect that a bit?
research is fun and interesting
On my first date with this guy I asked him. And he said you just seem like if someone is to date you they should bring their "A" game. I said... yes.. they should. We actually dated for a few months. First time I asked him out. He said he had wanted to ask me out but I was intimidating
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 24 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: loladoreen]
#28288049 - 04/21/23 11:23 AM (9 months, 2 days ago) |
|
|
So, he interpreted something about you that made him reach the conclusion that you have very high (unrealistic?) expectations.
I wonder what that was. Your body language? The tone of your voice or the way you speak? The types of words you use? Your facial expressions?
Or do you show up to your dates with a clipboard and a long checklist?
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
|
I think it was probably all those things. I knew him from work. He was a colleague.
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
|
He was so much fun. Interesting thing happened with him in particular. I learned a lot about myself from him. He was younger than me. I am turning 50 in a few weeks and I think he was early 30's. He was a new attorney, only 3 years in. Maybe he was barely 30. We both worked out at the gym at work. I saw him there and we worked together in other areas occasionally. His body was... OMG He wasn't a super attractive guy. My friends thought he was nerdy. I was completely into him. I liked him a lot and found him soooooo attractive. First date: I called him and asked him to meet me in a city two hours away and go dancing. That was our first date. I had sooo much fun. One of the funnest nights of my life. He told me he didn't ask me out because I was so intimidating. I asked why, because I had been told that a lot.Thats when he said you seem like you expect someone to bring their A game. I said I do. What I learned about myself from him.. I self sabotaged that relationship. I felt insecure and I am not an insecure person. I have had 3 kids, I was in really really good shape, but I was not the 23 year old body was used to dating. I had 2 adult children and one son that was a senior in high school. He had no children and was an only child. He did NOTHING to make me feel insecure.. I mean nothing. That is what I saw I self sabotaged it. He was moving and asked me to move with him and I said no. It was too fast for me. When I look back I can see where it could have been something more. And I am the one that stopped by making assumptions and being insecure. It was disappointing... really was disappointed in myself. But I learned from it.
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
Anonymous #4
|
|
Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #2 said:
...to me, toxic masculinity is more about men not feeling free to talk about their feelings then it is about flirting.
Yesterday my brother was scolded by two business partners for the "tone" he used during a business meeting. He simply stated how he felt. He said he was frustrated by some things that had gone on.
He was scolded by two other men for being honest about his feelings. He said nothing mean and was not angry. He simply explained why he was frustrated. They told him he used the "wrong tone."
It appears men are attempting to castrate other men.
All in the name of being "progressive"!
We are really going down the shit hole . . .
You sound deranged
|
pslyke
fantasmagoric



Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 4,092
Loc:
Last seen: 1 minute, 41 seconds
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #2 said:
...to me, toxic masculinity is more about men not feeling free to talk about their feelings then it is about flirting.
Yesterday my brother was scolded by two business partners for the "tone" he used during a business meeting. He simply stated how he felt. He said he was frustrated by some things that had gone on.
He was scolded by two other men for being honest about his feelings. He said nothing mean and was not angry. He simply explained why he was frustrated. They told him he used the "wrong tone."
It appears men are attempting to castrate other men.
All in the name of being "progressive"!
We are really going down the shit hole . . .
You sound deranged
Lol, kind of an ironic statement...
-------------------- "What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein "The conservatives of 70 years ago would be outraged at what has come to pass. It embodies everything they took up arms for to defeat"Asante
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,297
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 3 hours, 6 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: pslyke] 1
#28447496 - 08/26/23 02:22 PM (4 months, 30 days ago) |
|
|
In an Ironic Twist of Fate, the raven-haired temptress is back!
Shes back from her Alsakan internship and came back to her old job/position. Really cool 
Yesterday, our work shifts had a potluck in which 3 departments share a lunch together in one of the conference rooms. It was really nice! In an ironic twist of fate, theres a new female employee who is very similar to a previous GF I had back in High School. Shes also transgendered.
This attractive transfemale has my favorite personality too: soft, feminine, gentle, shy but still socialable in the right context (like small groups). So now raven-haired temptress is back but has some new competition! 
Its also ironic that she has the name of a previous female employee I worked with in a previous job. As many of you know, a woman's first name is important to me. That previous female employee temptress with the sexy name was very hot, wearing sexy clothes on almost a daily basis. All the guy employees were simpin' 
Back to the new lady: I have been attracted to a few transgendered females in the past, such as the beautiful Kim Petras, but this is the first time Ive been quite attracted to one in my personal life. When physical head-to-toe beauty and shy but friendly personality come together, its my favorite combo. At the potluck, I got to flirt a little bit with raven-hair temptress, doing some gentle teasing while we were playing Uno. She even laughed at me when I made a mistake about the "+2" card. That was cute. She also wore some slightly-sexy tight long workout shorts. That was nice. She looked really pretty with her short black hair and pierced eyebrows (my favorite piercing for women). I definitely was feeling some feels for her. She actually won Uno so that was fun for her.
Then the potluck ends and I stay behind to clean up the tables and the beautiful transgendered lady stays behind to talk to me. That was nice. I can tell she may like me as well. I definitely felt some good feels for her too.
Its pretty wild having feelings for both a born female and a transitioned female. 2023 has been full of many surprises
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏
  Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise   Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 |  Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! Shpongle
     
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
|
Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said: Will you make an attempt to confirm your suspicion, or is it more fun to not?
Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: Classic men thinking women are doing things for them specifically.
Make a polite request.
|
TheGoblin


Registered: 03/30/23
Posts: 53
Last seen: 1 month, 8 days
|
|
I love how some people here are speaking on behalf of ALL women.
|
RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 24 minutes
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
If any of you have stepped foot on a college campus recently you'll see that the more socialized and domesticated the young man, the more successful he tends to be with women.
In this case, what do you mean by "successful"?
And what defines a "socialized domestic young man"?
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: LocN9ne]
#28454898 - 09/01/23 12:46 PM (4 months, 24 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
LocN9ne said:
Quote:
Anonymous #4 said: I am someone who dresses up a lot. When I was younger I dressed up for my partner, but only because my partner would express that he liked it. I have not been with a man that is like that in over 25 years. I 100% dress up because I like it. I like clothes, I like getting ready, I like the entire process and when it is completed.
There it is... I believe you, and you are right. At a certain age women stop dressing up strictly for male attention, and they begin dressing up in an attempt to hold on to their youth. At that point, her dressing up becomes for herself. But before that, nah.
I completely agree with this statement. For myself this is what is was.
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
shed light
Stranger
Registered: 08/06/23
Posts: 116
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
|
|
Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
If any of you have stepped foot on a college campus recently you'll see that the more socialized and domesticated the young man, the more successful he tends to be with women.
In this case, what do you mean by "successful"?
And what defines a "socialized domestic young man"?
I think he means getting laid/being able to get relationships. And guys who are up with current fashion, clean cut, listen to popular music, you know.
This is absolutely inconsistent with my experience at least. Perhaps just plain wrong across the board. In my experience, girls want someone confident enough to be unique and operate outside the rules or established norms. Not a "socialized domestic young man." In my personal experience at least, playing the game and trying to be cool or whatever resulted in a lot, lot less success than being a bit of a wild man.
-------------------- Love is everything Life is good The opposite of negativity is gratitude Be KIND
|
RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 24 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: shed light]
#28455048 - 09/01/23 03:25 PM (4 months, 24 days ago) |
|
|

That mirrors my opinion shed light
(Women discover if their guy can change diapers, do the dishes, and shop for groceries long after they decide to date him as a boyfriend. Maybe "can" is the wrong word and the term should be "is willing")
|
the_chosen_one
On the Darkslide


Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 2,882
Loc: 1984
|
|
So women, generalized, don't dress up to impress or out do other women?
It sounds like a smart ass question, but it seems to be the portion of this very interesting discussion that is being omitted. Not saying intentionally, but if we are getting to the truth then lets get to it. I'm in a mood today lol.
-------------------- "Luck favors the observant." - Workman
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
|
I do not dress up to impress anyone. I wear it because I like it, I like how it looks or how it feels or it matches my mood.
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
the_chosen_one
On the Darkslide


Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 2,882
Loc: 1984
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: loladoreen]
#28455188 - 09/01/23 05:35 PM (4 months, 24 days ago) |
|
|
So it's purely expression then?
-------------------- "Luck favors the observant." - Workman
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
|
Quote:
the_chosen_one said: So women, generalized, don't dress up to impress or out do other women?
It sounds like a smart ass question, but it seems to be the portion of this very interesting discussion that is being omitted. Not saying intentionally, but if we are getting to the truth then lets get to it. I'm in a mood today lol.

Ime it seems women like to do comparisons of things more than men. Maybe this plays into the dressing "up".. comparing or mildly competing with those "other women" that this one particular women sees value in... I don't see this as some deep thing or fallacy but more how the female monkey group of us interacts in its social environs/"hierarchy".
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: ashfiken]
#28455471 - 09/01/23 09:33 PM (4 months, 23 days ago) |
|
|
Kate Micucci | The Outside | Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities | Ana Lily Amirpour
Besides women dressing up to show status and belonging, I felt that a couple of interesting things about cliques and pecking orders, is they will copy eachother's figures of speech and facial expressions.
Star Trek: The Perfect Mate - Captain Picard speaks with Kamala
Quote:
Kamala is an "empathic metamorph," which means that she is capable of sensing what a man wants in a woman and becomes that woman for him. Such creatures are born only once every seven generations and this makes her a genetic rarity. From birth, she has been prepared to bond with Alrik in hopes to stop the war. Her premature emergence from stasis complicates matters because she begins to "bond" with the next man who will enter the room.
Edited by durian_2008 (09/01/23 09:39 PM)
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
|
Pretty normal social techniques tbh. Hell I find myself often talking more akin to whichever subgroup I spend extended periods of time around. Pretty natural tendency and I'm sure it'd kept me from seeming like a COMPLETE outcast on atleast a couple occasions over the years
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
shed light
Stranger
Registered: 08/06/23
Posts: 116
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: ashfiken] 3
#28455654 - 09/02/23 05:33 AM (4 months, 23 days ago) |
|
|
Its complex, not a simple sound byte of an answer. Women dress up because of social pressure to look good. But also because they enjoy it; they take pride in looking good. But also because it can be fun to explore a look. But also because your dress can have social implications and lets the world know where you 'fit in.' But also to show off to other women, as a competitive statement. But also to attract men or at least garner male attention. I'm sure there are more reasons. Maybe some reasons only apply to some individuals.
I really like cars and have some cool cars I drive around. Why? Because its fun. I enjoy the thrill of speed. But also, its fun to be seen in them. And its kind of a competitive thing with other males/showoff thing for females, if I have to be totally honest. Its validating. Its fun to have something to work on and take pride in. Any girl I've dated will spend time getting ready for a night out. I'll spend time getting the car ready.
We as social creatures really enjoy self-expression, I think any expression of that is inherently multifaceted.
-------------------- Love is everything Life is good The opposite of negativity is gratitude Be KIND
|
Patchouli_Savage


Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 712
Loc: Somewhere between here an...
Last seen: 3 hours, 58 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: shed light] 1
#28455769 - 09/02/23 09:01 AM (4 months, 23 days ago) |
|
|
I wear what I like, what's comfortable, and what I feel good in.
A lot of people might say I'm "dressing up" because I wear lot of dresses / skirts but that's what's most comfortable for me, and doesn't feel like dressing up.
Today I'm choosing a sundress that looks great on me. I paid 3 dollars for it at a garage sale.
It has pockets and it's comfortable.
I'm wearing it because I like it, not to impress men or outdo other women.
-------------------- "You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"
|
RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 24 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: shed light] 1
#28455782 - 09/02/23 09:13 AM (4 months, 23 days ago) |
|
|
I think many people lose weight and dress nicely to "feel attractive."
"feeling attractive" is very important to lots of people
(maybe it helps to combat self-loathing?)
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
|
Anyone on their own agenda is possibly an A-type, setting trends.
|
Patchouli_Savage


Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 712
Loc: Somewhere between here an...
Last seen: 3 hours, 58 minutes
|
|
I think a lot of people loose weight to become healthy and more comfortable in their body with "feeling attractive" as a nice bonus.
I think a lot of people dress nicely so that they like what they see in the mirror Moreso than to be attractive for others.
-------------------- "You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
|
Without accusing you of being aggressive or even assertive, there are lots of voyeurs. Others notice your efforts or basic self discipline. They are competitive and do things to impress you back.
|
Patchouli_Savage


Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 712
Loc: Somewhere between here an...
Last seen: 3 hours, 58 minutes
|
|
I feel like the above distinction is important to make because this assumption that we are dressing for others leads to shitty people using that assumption to justify shitty behavior.
I spent a lot of my younger years intentionally dressing down and intentionally looking as unattractive as possible because I don't like being cat called or followed around stores or stared at or assaulted, which are all things that have happened because these men have an idea that women exist for their enjoyment andbassuming we are "dressing attractively" to "look good for men" feeds that concept.
I don't think that wanting to "feel attractive" for yourself is the same as wanting to "feel attractive" for others.
I think there are also higher standards for women when it comes to being physically attractive and put together that extend beyond being attractive sexually and into the professional realm.
Male doctors I work with wear cahart pants and flannel shirts, or black jeans and wrinkled checkered button downs and we call that professional, but if a female doctor wears that same outfit, she's going to be taken less seriously as a professional.
The same thing goes hair and makeup. I see male doctors and administrators with unkempt hairwho literally look like theyve just rolled out of bed, but women who take less time time to style their hair or who choose not to wear makeup are regarded as slovenly, unprofessional, and not put together.
-------------------- "You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"
|
shed light
Stranger
Registered: 08/06/23
Posts: 116
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
|
|
Quote:
Patchouli_Savage said: I think there are also higher standards for women when it comes to being physically attractive and put together that extend beyond being attractive sexually and into the professional realm.
Male doctors I work with wear cahart pants and flannel shirts, or black jeans and wrinkled checkered button downs and we call that professional, but if a female doctor wears that same outfit, she's going to be taken less seriously as a professional.
The same thing goes hair and makeup. I see male doctors and administrators with unkempt hairwho literally look like theyve just rolled out of bed, but women who take less time time to style their hair or who choose not to wear makeup are regarded as slovenly, unprofessional, and not put together.
Yeah that's true. There's definitely a double standard there. I'd say the opposite is true with men though. Men who are coiffed are seen by many (myself included, I admit that its unfair) as Nancy boys.
I personally enjoy dressing up from time to time for a nice dinner or event. I like the feeling of looking nice, as an alternative to my usual state of jeans and work boots and t shirts. I don't do it for anyone else or to impress anyone, I just occasionally enjoy the feeling of a nice suit and finely-made shoes. I don't think the typical woman's viewpoint is much different than mine, although I do think people of both genders act on different motives. Vanity, trying to impress, competition, etc included. Its just that women have some added social pressure to look good.
You see a lot more gorgeously-dressed and done up women with scruffy guys like me than you do beautifully-dressed and groomed men with simply-dressed women.
-------------------- Love is everything Life is good The opposite of negativity is gratitude Be KIND
|
Patchouli_Savage


Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 712
Loc: Somewhere between here an...
Last seen: 3 hours, 58 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: shed light]
#28456199 - 09/02/23 03:48 PM (4 months, 23 days ago) |
|
|
Ah I don't assume men who are dressed up are "Nancy Boys" (which I asse means feminine?) But I do assume they are white collar.
I would guess that men who like to dress well are drawn to women who habitually dress well also, and it seems like that might have an element of status as well?
-------------------- "You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"
|
shed light
Stranger
Registered: 08/06/23
Posts: 116
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
|
|
Quote:
Patchouli_Savage said: Ah I don't assume men who are dressed up are "Nancy Boys" (which I asse means feminine?) But I do assume they are white collar.
I would guess that men who like to dress well are drawn to women who habitually dress well also, and it seems like that might have an element of status as well?
Yeah, feminine. Not quite as derogatory as pansy, much less so than wimp or pussy. But on the pansy side of neutral in the macho->pussy spectrum . At least in my personal lexicon.
Yeah, I think you're right. People who care about that for themselves also care about that in a partner.
And yeah, I see it that way too with the status, there's definitely a correlation there. But it isn't a hard and fast linear thing. I think that's highly complex relationship. The truly wealthy guys I know are wealthy enough to absolutely not give a fuck and end up wearing jeans, practical footwear, and average shirts. So I don't think the status thing applies after a certain point.
But
Its what I call the upper-middle class of say 100k-500k earners, both men and women, mostly educated professionals, who are concerned with what others think and dress up not as an expression of self, but as an obligate part of their lives/for their social circles and coworkers. Maybe some do it as a genuine expression of self or to show off status, but I think its basically just the standard they feel they have to meet. Much of my social interaction occurs within this group and I can say that many of the people here are very concerned with what others think, perceived status and professionalism, but not what they actually want. In fact, trying to talk my best friend (a specialized Dr.) into a race car project resulted in him replying "yeah that sounds awesome, but what would people think if they saw me doing that? What if a patient or a coworker saw me?" My heart broke a little bit. While my much wealthier friend is building cars and hitting the track every weekend, walking around in a sweat-stained Gander Mountain $30 clearance shirt. I feel that this demographic is image/status-obsessed in everything they do (not through their own desire, but to fit in) and dress is no exception. And frankly its tragic. So much personal freedom lost at the altar of maintaining appearances.
Its the "classes" (I use that term loosely) above and below that bracket that do as they choose.
The wealthy are wealthy enough to dress up if they want to and not care about it if they don't want to. Some of my friends fall into this category and experience true freedom of expression.
And those who aren't in those social circles can choose to dress up for personal reasons if they so desire but don't face social consequences of not dressing up or looking frumpy. Many of my friends fall into this camp and experience freedom of personal expression.
Ultra tangent for sure, sorry everybody. But I feel uniquely qualified to comment on this specific topic of status/dress as I find myself in that social/class/whatever group as an outsider with a highschool education and a lot more freedom of expression than my friends in this group.
Writing that made me feel really grateful for my life actually. I can go and crazy dance to local jam bands. I can drive what I want and wear what I want. I have so much freedom to live the life I want to live, unencumbered by concern about status or the opinions of others. Freedom is worth infinitely more than some kind of perceived status.
-------------------- Love is everything Life is good The opposite of negativity is gratitude Be KIND
|
CreonAntigone
Stranger

Registered: 05/30/21
Posts: 2,875
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: shed light]
#28456304 - 09/02/23 06:01 PM (4 months, 23 days ago) |
|
|
Not to digress the topic, but as shed light mentioned the way professionals of both sexes dress up to show status, I wanted to ask a question regarding suits. Can people really tell a suit costs $5000 dollars? I have heard someone say, 'compared to a well-tailored italian suit, everything looks bad'. Is that true?
I could see a tailored suit being far better than something off the rack, and that being a big distinguishment between the bottom and top earners in dress. But beyond tailoring, what benefits would come if I choose the absurdly expensuive tailor that will charge me $7000, versus lets say the nicest possible in the price range of a low-to-middle earner, a $420 tailored suit. $420 might be outside the range of a large number of americans too but at least should be doable for most of the middle class.
Let's say -
Tier 1, 7000+ custom suit - tier 2, $420 custom suit - tier 3, sub $100 and off the rack.
Will people look that much sharper with a tier 1 as opposed to a tier 3 suit? Will people get jobs they wouldn't otherwise? What about the suit exactly is so obviously worth the money? I assume that it will be obvious to everyone or at least to other rich people that a suit is worth $7000 - but what details in it make it so obvious? It is a status symbol like a fancy car, I suppose. But a suit is so simple, what exactly can money do to mike it that much better? What does adding an extra $6,600 do to improve the already-expensive $400 custom suits?
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
|
I think when you are operating at that level, perception is everything. So yes that tier 1 may be what you need to land that hedge fund position.... For the normals out there perception/dress/impression is a much different and more truly.social ball game Vs the fake smile and suit and tie impressions of those sitting in maybe the top 20%
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
CreonAntigone
Stranger

Registered: 05/30/21
Posts: 2,875
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: ashfiken]
#28456355 - 09/02/23 07:04 PM (4 months, 23 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
ashfiken said: I think when you are operating at that level, perception is everything. So yes that tier 1 may be what you need to land that hedge fund position.... For the normals out there perception/dress/impression is a much different and more truly.social ball game Vs the fake smile and suit and tie impressions of those sitting in maybe the top 20%
You're right, it's kind of like a pass into a special social club showing particularly immense wealth... and so isn't even useful for those that are outside that orbit.
|
ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 2 hours, 42 minutes
|
|
Absolutely agreed. It almost seems alien to a pobre like myself
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
|
Patchouli_Savage


Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 712
Loc: Somewhere between here an...
Last seen: 3 hours, 58 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: shed light]
#28456394 - 09/02/23 07:37 PM (4 months, 23 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
shed light said:
Quote:
Patchouli_Savage said: Ah I don't assume men who are dressed up are "Nancy Boys" (which I asse means feminine?) But I do assume they are white collar.
I would guess that men who like to dress well are drawn to women who habitually dress well also, and it seems like that might have an element of status as well?
Yeah, feminine. Not quite as derogatory as pansy, much less so than wimp or pussy. But on the pansy side of neutral in the macho->pussy spectrum . At least in my personal lexicon.
Yeah, I think you're right. People who care about that for themselves also care about that in a partner.
And yeah, I see it that way too with the status, there's definitely a correlation there. But it isn't a hard and fast linear thing. I think that's highly complex relationship. The truly wealthy guys I know are wealthy enough to absolutely not give a fuck and end up wearing jeans, practical footwear, and average shirts. So I don't think the status thing applies after a certain point.
But
Its what I call the upper-middle class of say 100k-500k earners, both men and women, mostly educated professionals, who are concerned with what others think and dress up not as an expression of self, but as an obligate part of their lives/for their social circles and coworkers. Maybe some do it as a genuine expression of self or to show off status, but I think its basically just the standard they feel they have to meet. Much of my social interaction occurs within this group and I can say that many of the people here are very concerned with what others think, perceived status and professionalism, but not what they actually want. In fact, trying to talk my best friend (a specialized Dr.) into a race car project resulted in him replying "yeah that sounds awesome, but what would people think if they saw me doing that? What if a patient or a coworker saw me?" My heart broke a little bit. While my much wealthier friend is building cars and hitting the track every weekend, walking around in a sweat-stained Gander Mountain $30 clearance shirt. I feel that this demographic is image/status-obsessed in everything they do (not through their own desire, but to fit in) and dress is no exception. And frankly its tragic. So much personal freedom lost at the altar of maintaining appearances.
Its the "classes" (I use that term loosely) above and below that bracket that do as they choose.
The wealthy are wealthy enough to dress up if they want to and not care about it if they don't want to. Some of my friends fall into this category and experience true freedom of expression.
And those who aren't in those social circles can choose to dress up for personal reasons if they so desire but don't face social consequences of not dressing up or looking frumpy. Many of my friends fall into this camp and experience freedom of personal expression.
Ultra tangent for sure, sorry everybody. But I feel uniquely qualified to comment on this specific topic of status/dress as I find myself in that social/class/whatever group as an outsider with a highschool education and a lot more freedom of expression than my friends in this group.
Writing that made me feel really grateful for my life actually. I can go and crazy dance to local jam bands. I can drive what I want and wear what I want. I have so much freedom to live the life I want to live, unencumbered by concern about status or the opinions of others. Freedom is worth infinitely more than some kind of perceived status.
That all makes sense.
I feel like the place I live is rural enough that even wealthier people don't need to dress for status because there's still a need for utilitarianism. They soend their money on nice bikes and extra cabins.
-------------------- "You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"
|
shed light
Stranger
Registered: 08/06/23
Posts: 116
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
|
|
Quote:
CreonAntigone said: Not to digress the topic, but as shed light mentioned the way professionals of both sexes dress up to show status, I wanted to ask a question regarding suits. Can people really tell a suit costs $5000 dollars? I have heard someone say, 'compared to a well-tailored italian suit, everything looks bad'. Is that true?
I could see a tailored suit being far better than something off the rack, and that being a big distinguishment between the bottom and top earners in dress. But beyond tailoring, what benefits would come if I choose the absurdly expensuive tailor that will charge me $7000, versus lets say the nicest possible in the price range of a low-to-middle earner, a $420 tailored suit. $420 might be outside the range of a large number of americans too but at least should be doable for most of the middle class.
Let's say -
Tier 1, 7000+ custom suit - tier 2, $420 custom suit - tier 3, sub $100 and off the rack.
Will people look that much sharper with a tier 1 as opposed to a tier 3 suit? Will people get jobs they wouldn't otherwise? What about the suit exactly is so obviously worth the money? I assume that it will be obvious to everyone or at least to other rich people that a suit is worth $7000 - but what details in it make it so obvious? It is a status symbol like a fancy car, I suppose. But a suit is so simple, what exactly can money do to mike it that much better? What does adding an extra $6,600 do to improve the already-expensive $400 custom suits?
I think suits, like anything else, is a game of diminishing returns. The $420 custom-tailored suit is easily 100% better than the ill-fitting $100 off-the-rack option and even a blue collar, highschool educated schmuck like me can see it. The $700 option may be only 25% better than the $420, but still definitely noticeable in terms of material quality, in my opinion. I think at the $1200 mark (totally arbitrary number) we hit diminishing returns hard. It becomes more about brand name, material, exotic cuts and trims to meet current trends, etc. But that's to my uninitiated eye. I'm sure someone in the know could tell between a $1200 and a $3000 suit.
For what its worth, I wear a maybe $300 suit made of a polyester blend. I got $450 shoes new in box on ebay for $100 shipped. I splurged on a $120 belt and a nice tie to offset it and 'dress up' the inexpensive suit. I figure for ~$550 I've got a setup that looks better than most for any of the weddings I attend. I'd probably look like a complete tool in a metropolitan setting where everyone has truly high end, handmade stuff, but in the mostly rural midwest I think the shoes, belt, and tie dress up the suit nicely and I look great.
I believe around $700 is the mark that suit aficionados call the sweet spot, where you get a nicely made suit with the little touches that make it 'high end' without getting into designer name pissing contests and ultra fine materials etc. Even that is probably much more than 99% of people will ever need.
But yeah, the $100 off-the-rack vs even an ultra cheap $250 tailored job is night and day. Think about all the guys you see in court wearing some baggy, poorly-fitting suit because their attorney told them they needed to wear one. Then think about the average groomsman wearing a cheap polyester, but somewhat decently sized/trimmed suit at the last wedding you attended. That groomsman looks like a million bucks in comparison just by wearing a cheap rental suit that fits halfway decent.
But I wear neon yellow hi-vis t shirts covered in stains and work boots with the steel toe poking through the leather from excessive wear so I'm the last guy to heed for tidbits of fashion wisdom.
-------------------- Love is everything Life is good The opposite of negativity is gratitude Be KIND
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
|
Quote:
CreonAntigone said: Not to digress the topic, but as shed light mentioned the way professionals of both sexes dress up to show status, I wanted to ask a question regarding suits. Can people really tell a suit costs $5000 dollars? I have heard someone say, 'compared to a well-tailored italian suit, everything looks bad'. Is that true?
Technically, the off-the-shelf selection would be ill-fitted, famous brands have their own styles, and desirable colors of the same fabrics from the same factories sell for premium prices.
Identical results can be achieved by small, no-name tailors, given enough time and resources in the Third World.
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
|
I was going to say the exact same thing. What I notice between the two is the more expensive suit is tailored to fit you. You can tailor anything to fit your body. Buy the cheap suit and get it altered.
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: loladoreen]
#28459588 - 09/05/23 02:25 PM (4 months, 20 days ago) |
|
|
If you are clever enough to do the alterations yourself, find fabric remnants in the premium colors, and sew them together in the same shapes used by famous brands.
https://nypost.com/2016/11/14/dead-rodent-sewn-into-womans-new-zara-dress-lawsuit/
But, the Cruella Devilles and Patrick Batemans are going to pretend to find fault, no matter how disciplined the workmanship. That's part of putting on airs.
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
|
The hand..... I thought of the dark crystal...
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: loladoreen]
#28461005 - 09/06/23 08:28 PM (4 months, 19 days ago) |
|
|
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,297
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 3 hours, 6 minutes
|
|
Had a nice interaction with Raven-temptresa tonite.
I go into the breakroom, and its her and my lead (her close friend). They are silent but eventually say something. My lead leaves and its just me and her in the break room. I only had about 10mins but it was so worth it. She was wearing baggy urban jean pants and a semi-tight black t shirt. Not super sexy but still pleasant 'n cool. She slides back into the padded chair-bench, with her left leg bent at the knee and her other leg to the floor. I could see her face, looking at her phone. That posture was so sexy. Love it.
It reminded me that Im in love with her and any little bit of 1-on-1 attention feels like Heaven to me. Definitely a special feeling to experience.
|
Aboom
Stranger
Registered: 11/19/23
Posts: 15
Loc: North Central Arkansas
Last seen: 1 month, 5 days
|
|
So did you flirt with her or continue admiring, keeping it to yourself?
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: shed light]
#28568589 - 12/04/23 05:27 PM (1 month, 23 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
shed light said:
Quote:
Patchouli_Savage said: Ah I don't assume men who are dressed up are "Nancy Boys" (which I asse means feminine?) But I do assume they are white collar.
I would guess that men who like to dress well are drawn to women who habitually dress well also, and it seems like that might have an element of status as well?
Yeah, feminine. Not quite as derogatory as pansy, much less so than wimp or pussy. But on the pansy side of neutral in the macho->pussy spectrum . At least in my personal lexicon.
Yeah, I think you're right. People who care about that for themselves also care about that in a partner.
And yeah, I see it that way too with the status, there's definitely a correlation there. But it isn't a hard and fast linear thing. I think that's highly complex relationship. The truly wealthy guys I know are wealthy enough to absolutely not give a fuck and end up wearing jeans, practical footwear, and average shirts. So I don't think the status thing applies after a certain point.
But
Its what I call the upper-middle class of say 100k-500k earners, both men and women, mostly educated professionals, who are concerned with what others think and dress up not as an expression of self, but as an obligate part of their lives/for their social circles and coworkers. Maybe some do it as a genuine expression of self or to show off status, but I think its basically just the standard they feel they have to meet. Much of my social interaction occurs within this group and I can say that many of the people here are very concerned with what others think, perceived status and professionalism, but not what they actually want. In fact, trying to talk my best friend (a specialized Dr.) into a race car project resulted in him replying "yeah that sounds awesome, but what would people think if they saw me doing that? What if a patient or a coworker saw me?" My heart broke a little bit. While my much wealthier friend is building cars and hitting the track every weekend, walking around in a sweat-stained Gander Mountain $30 clearance shirt. I feel that this demographic is image/status-obsessed in everything they do (not through their own desire, but to fit in) and dress is no exception. And frankly its tragic. So much personal freedom lost at the altar of maintaining appearances.
Its the "classes" (I use that term loosely) above and below that bracket that do as they choose.
The wealthy are wealthy enough to dress up if they want to and not care about it if they don't want to. Some of my friends fall into this category and experience true freedom of expression.
And those who aren't in those social circles can choose to dress up for personal reasons if they so desire but don't face social consequences of not dressing up or looking frumpy. Many of my friends fall into this camp and experience freedom of personal expression.
Ultra tangent for sure, sorry everybody. But I feel uniquely qualified to comment on this specific topic of status/dress as I find myself in that social/class/whatever group as an outsider with a highschool education and a lot more freedom of expression than my friends in this group.
Writing that made me feel really grateful for my life actually. I can go and crazy dance to local jam bands. I can drive what I want and wear what I want. I have so much freedom to live the life I want to live, unencumbered by concern about status or the opinions of others. Freedom is worth infinitely more than some kind of perceived status.
I was engaged to a multi millionaire in the 90's and he wore jeans and t shirts. When he did dress up he got up from a department store like Macys or Penny's and I am sure he did not pay much.
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: loladoreen]
#28568995 - 12/04/23 09:25 PM (1 month, 22 days ago) |
|
|
I get called 'man' and 'dude' and 'bud' in street clothes.
'Sir' in office casual.
While the Cruella Devilles and Patrick Batemans are going to pretend to find fault, no matter how disciplined the workmanship, Joe Dirt doesn't know what is a good make of suit to wear.
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
|
You definitely get treated differently when dressed up. If I wear something more casual I notice a change in how I am treated. Im not mistreated either way. But theres a difference. Especially in a work setting. If I go out dancing and dress different then work or casual clothes. It's definitely different. I impulsively went dancing. Wasn't planned wore a crop top and jeans and was surprised. I didn't think I looked that good and probably got hit on more than when in a dress. Interesting take.
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: loladoreen]
#28569604 - 12/05/23 09:45 AM (1 month, 22 days ago) |
|
|
Whether in rich or poor company, you would have to be just slightly more overdressed, than whomever. Push it too, far, and you will be unrelatable. Make no effort, and no statement.
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
|
True
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
Anonymous #5
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: loladoreen]
#28571351 - 12/06/23 10:33 AM (1 month, 21 days ago) |
|
|
Hella real statement. True to many things in life. You must make an extravagant effort. Do nothing and get nothing. Too much of anything is too much of a statement. Too unrelatable.
No one wants to deal with a living rug that just lays there has made to walk on and says nothing and does nothing. No one wants to deal with a try hard either. Too much ego. Too much greed. Unrelatable.
Always real talk
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
|
It has to be just slightly extravagant, or in bad taste for being pretentious or garish.
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,297
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 3 hours, 6 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: Aboom] 1
#28593266 - 12/21/23 07:31 PM (1 month, 6 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Aboom said: So did you flirt with her or continue admiring, keeping it to yourself?
I kept it to myself. Ive decided not to pursue raven-hair baddie and its because of my shift lead. My shift lead is her best friend. My shift lead also has one of the worst personalities Ive ever come across. Hes the type of person where if you tell him you have a good idea on how to do something, he will say its a bad idea, explain why its a bad idea and then offer no alternative ideas. And he thinks hes being helpful when he does this. Furthermore, he has this annoying deadpan sarcasm way-of-speaking i just cannot stand. Just nope.
So if i tried to date Raven-hair baddie, i would have to be friends with him by association and i pretty much hate his guts.
In conclusion, i will avoid interacting with Raven-baddie for that single reason: to avoid being around him. Its just not worth it....
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
|
It's good you think that through instead of reacting
--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
|
SARAtonin
Violent Dreams


Registered: 09/28/11
Posts: 15,907
Loc: Deutschland
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: loladoreen] 1
#28610278 - 01/05/24 09:19 AM (22 days, 10 hours ago) |
|
|
Imma just leave this here.
But enjoy your delusions y’all. 
-------------------- God kills indiscriminately and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are none so like him as ourselves. Want to join a cult? Click for details…
|
loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: SARAtonin]
#28610312 - 01/05/24 10:16 AM (22 days, 9 hours ago) |
|
|
Quote:
SARAtonin said: Imma just leave this here.
But enjoy your delusions y’all. 

FACTS
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
idk if I personally would This literally is majority of females No Actually When I think of when I change It's because it's not safe for me
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: Just because you want to look at women doesn't mean women want to be looked at. The female experience is confusing.
You're 6 years old and get to play with all your male friends without a shirt, then you turn 14 and suddenly people are treating you different and you're segregated. Then you turn 18 and men give you things for no reason at all. Then you turn 21 and you realize you can have anything you want in the world. Then you turn 25 and you realize that men have been manipulating you for their own sexual gains and you now have some scars because of it; all you really want is someone to care about your inner world; your experience. Then you have a child and realize they too will learn all of that as well. Then you turn 35 and men who said "you're beautiful" were really just saying "you're hot" while continuing to say "I like looking at you because you're beautiful." Yet here you still are; should you say fuck the system? Should you play it for your own benefit? Dress in high heels and put your ass on the gram? It's a difficult dichotomy to balance, one where you don't want to be objectified yet playing the game gives you an edge that is undeniable. Both are true. Its a dangerous game, and for this reason we should protect women from predatory men by calling men out. Women can play the game for their own benefit. How a woman dresses is not for men.
A grandmother is beautiful. A child is beautiful. Women and men are beautiful. People are beautiful. Spend time with beauty. Lustful gaze is toward hotness.
True
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: loladoreen]
#28610391 - 01/05/24 11:26 AM (22 days, 8 hours ago) |
|
|
Quote:
SARAtonin said: Imma just leave this here.
But enjoy your delusions y’all. 

Quote:
loladoreen said: FACTS
 Do we want to see it, or not?
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
😂
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
|
Quote:
Just because you want to look at women doesn't mean women want to be looked at.
Depends on context but, usually, yes.
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
I think I appreciate knowing someone finds me attractive but I don't like creepy looks where they stare and touch themselves kinda thing I also think men interpret things soooooo differently I am not a young woman and when i was i behaved differently I was so insecure when young Without sounding like an asshole I like my appearance and I am confident in it I have learned that's the easy part The inside is always harder I can watch my food, workout, self care But recovering from trauma or learning you are sometimes the problem and you need to change is hard
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,297
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 3 hours, 6 minutes
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: SARAtonin]
#28610755 - 01/05/24 04:27 PM (22 days, 3 hours ago) |
|
|
Quote:
SARAtonin said: Imma just leave this here.
But enjoy your delusions y’all. 

bruuuuuuuuh
I guess us guys are holding ourselves back!
|
oursoulsinmotion
🐵🙈🙉🙊



Registered: 10/04/21
Posts: 3,380
Last seen: 1 day, 3 hours
|
|
Do socities of singular genders survive on their own?
|
Joh.Ke
Stranger
Registered: 07/03/23
Posts: 346
Last seen: 4 hours, 38 minutes
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous #3 said: I think I appreciate knowing someone finds me attractive but I don't like creepy looks where they stare and touch themselves kinda thing
Men touch themselves in public while staring at you? What the hell kind of world do you live in lol
|
Joh.Ke
Stranger
Registered: 07/03/23
Posts: 346
Last seen: 4 hours, 38 minutes
|
|
Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said: Just reacting to the never-ending negative male stereotypes that are thrown around these days. So often by people who claim they oppose gender roles and gender stereotypes. You don't think "Classic men thinking women are doing things for them specifically" is a generalized condemnation of men? Or at least ridicule?
I don't think he/she is condemning men. I think they meant to say that a lot of men tend to read more into what a woman says and does than is warranted.
Case in point: the girl at OP's work probably just wanted to dress up. She might or might not be trying to subtly flirt with him.
Quote:
LogicaL Chaos said: So my signs were #1, the first potluck we had, she was giving me "The Look". The Look is a lusty gaze that non-verbally says "If we were alone, i would make-out with you".
My 2nd sign was i wear black, including pants, hoodie and boots, everyday while she wears more softer pastel colors.
Third sign was the most important. Theres these tables in the breakroom with little cell phone stands. Usually she sits forward but this time, she pointed the cell phone stand directly toward me and sat on her leg semi-cross-legged. And i could see her glancing over her phone directly at me.
Sadly, she has a guy friend (he may have feelings for her but hasnt made his move perhaps) who is now my lead so making a move on her could make it awkward for my work life and such. So right now, im hanging back from afar and just enjoying her subtly.
Or you could be overthinking the whole thing. Maybe she's doing this for other men. You are probably not the only man who wears black pants where you work.
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: Joh.Ke]
#28619004 - 01/12/24 05:56 PM (15 days, 1 hour ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Joh.Ke said:
Quote:
Anonymous #3 said: I think I appreciate knowing someone finds me attractive but I don't like creepy looks where they stare and touch themselves kinda thing
Men touch themselves in public while staring at you? What the hell kind of world do you live in lol
There are some hella creepy people out there.
|
Joh.Ke
Stranger
Registered: 07/03/23
Posts: 346
Last seen: 4 hours, 38 minutes
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous #3 said:
Quote:
Joh.Ke said:
Quote:
Anonymous #3 said: I think I appreciate knowing someone finds me attractive but I don't like creepy looks where they stare and touch themselves kinda thing
Men touch themselves in public while staring at you? What the hell kind of world do you live in lol
There are some hella creepy people out there.
Thats gotta be some kind of misdemeanor at least.
Edited by Joh.Ke (01/12/24 05:57 PM)
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
I think so many get away with it because it startles you and you get safe. Not reporting it.
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
|

At the YMCA weight room.
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
I've been big on top my entire life. And sexually harassed and assaulted my entire life because of it. The amount of men that just grab my breasts and I guess think its ok is astounding. In school I was assaulted at least weekly. It was scary sometimes. I hated them and hid them and slouched to cover them. Wasn't until I was older I accepted them. It really can be traumatic. Under the age of 30 I never said anything. Thinking no one cared. And you see it happening every day. You feel shamed over something you have no control over. Very confusing A lot goes unreported
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
|
Quote:
men that just grab my breasts
I went bar hopping with one popular girl, who was greeted this way.
And, in a couple of seconds had to decide whether she had honor to defend.
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
I had two guys in school I avoided like the plague. It was very forceful and against my will He pinned me against the wall, locker, corner It's wrong I planned our my walk to every class to avoid them
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
|
I wouldn't have let that happen. Very sorry.
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
Thank you
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: ashfiken]
#28621805 - 01/15/24 07:23 AM (12 days, 12 hours ago) |
|
|
Quote:
ashfiken said: Kind of think it would be hot for me to be objectified by a woman. After being taught as a male in the US that you ought to provide, in various ways, to maintain any sort of relationship bc thats what is expected of you. And that provision, to me has always seemed quite lopsided.. What you can do for em, what you can produce, how much money you have to spend, how much can their tender emotional self rely on you. Not much provision for the male side in that arena.. In addition tobow down to everyone above you in the social hierarchy(just a poor hetero white guy,here), man or woman, bc you prefer not be in prison and have to make money to survive. When you are a weirdo and don't have the same drives or values as nearly everyone around you, bc you just want the simple shit, peace, affection, and few creature comforts..
Think itd be nice once in a while for a woman to just bang me or kiss me or engage or whatever me bc I am objectively attractive to them and nothing more. It's unweighted stroking of the ego, and not like that stroke cannot be returned to the other.. seems kinda positive. Think I'd handle the gaze. As an average male, I doubt to ever experience this, and for a woman, it is upsetting and damaging clearly.. And that is def a bug in the system where women have been fuxking traumatized in this world
I think being sexualized nonstop for everything plays into the confidence to assert yourself and initiate sex. Sometimes it's difficult to gauge who is and isnt safe. I've never been someone to ask if i look fat etc I also am confident with myself. Not everyone is. I read that I feel their insecurity.
The trauma can shape your view of the world. I rarely take a man complimenting on my appearance me as genuine. Which is a trauma based response. My appearance is based on what I like. I have never dressed for attention. Im also fairly modest. Thank you religious upbringing. I don't want that type of attention. It's dangerous It's very dangerous And you are not respected by the majority. Not something i seek.
Everyone has different experiences.
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
I spent a lot of my younger years intentionally dressing down and intentionally looking as unattractive as possible because I don't like being cat called or followed around stores or stared at or assaulted, which are all things that have happened because these men have an idea that women exist for their enjoyment andbassuming we are "dressing attractively" to "look good for men" feeds that concept.
This! I intentionally 95. 999% of the time dressing to not attract attention. Yet i dress up. I don't seek that attention. It's dangerous. Life threatening dangerous.
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
|
But, you would agree that there is a difference between looking feminine and 'girls gone wild'. And, being overtly sexual does invite that kind of attention.
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
I think it's perception. I have friends who think an off the shoulder blouse is feminine. I find it sexual. Girls gone wild- like the show I've never done that. Idk what their motives are. I honestly think it's individualized I do think if you dress like the street walking prostitutes you'll attract the degrading attention they attract
|
Ima Trooper
Chilldog Extraordinaire



Registered: 02/21/08
Posts: 13,533
Loc: United States
Last seen: 1 day, 13 hours
|
|
Everyone should be able to dress however they want without being made to feel uncomfortable, not to mention assaulted. This is why women in particular should carry pepper spray and a concealed handgun. Fuck getting assaulted because you're attractive or you're dressed a certain way. Fuck 'em up.
-------------------- "Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping. deCypher said: Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
I always freeze . You imagine you would respond aggressively and protect yourself. I freeze. I think I have learned how to avoid it. As much as you can.
|
Nillion
Nobody

Registered: 04/14/22
Posts: 1,000
Loc: Terra Firma
|
|
Regarding the OP, I've noticed similar things. I recall mentioning I liked a certain hairstyle once and a girl I knew then put her her up that way the next time I saw her. When they match your style, imitate your taste etc, its a sign of interest for sure.
As for some of the other discourse in this thread:
To my mind, Cassandra Peterson is a feminist. In her stage persona, Elvira, she was notorious for dressing in a way that was sexually provocative, but she also makes it clear that no matter what she says, or looks like, that doesn't give people the right to mistreat her or take advantage of her in any way. The fact that she did this while using a combination of Goth imagery, valley girl talk and Groucho Marx-like quips just makes her all the more entertaining.
I'd trade all the incels and their sharia law mentality towards women for just one of her.
|
durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
|
Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: Nillion]
#28622783 - 01/15/24 10:29 PM (11 days, 21 hours ago) |
|
|
Since she was clearly not saving it for patriarchal marriage... When all those other people had sex with her before you... How would she be approached?
Were they doing something wrong?
What was the right way to follow through with your obvious intentions toward her?
Did you even try?
|
|