Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals, CBD Capsules   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds, Bulk Cannabis Seeds

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
OfflineBlackbird33
Stranger

Registered: 12/31/11
Posts: 761
Last seen: 7 months, 23 days
Hate my heart * 1
    #28238805 - 03/20/23 09:00 PM (10 months, 3 days ago)

My self-hatred is so strong every morning I open my eyes i just feel despair. My existence is an utter waste of humanity. I look in the mirror and see a failure who most likely die alone covered in my feces


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblesplit_by_nine
i am the liquor

Registered: 07/11/18
Posts: 21,288
Re: Hate my heart [Re: Blackbird33]
    #28238821 - 03/20/23 09:07 PM (10 months, 3 days ago)

have you tried cannabis?


--------------------
🐴:poop:
hpoo or die


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineWhoManBeing
PsychedelicYogi
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/01/13
Posts: 3,773
Loc: Oregon
Last seen: 2 days, 21 hours
Re: Hate my heart [Re: split_by_nine] * 5
    #28238852 - 03/20/23 09:30 PM (10 months, 3 days ago)

Quit verbalizing and giving into belittling yourself. You start to turn around and see to better vision and things will be more concrete there. You polishing these words only make them more attractive to speak of.


--------------------
Hip, hip... WhoRAy!!!

Eye was thinking the other day...  ahh, thinking never done me no good.



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineDr. Funtime
Wipes Sideways

Registered: 02/04/13
Posts: 134
Last seen: 5 days, 16 hours
Re: Hate my heart [Re: WhoManBeing] * 2
    #28238974 - 03/20/23 11:34 PM (10 months, 3 days ago)

If you wear diapers you can control the feces at least. That is a good first step probably.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleLost at Sea
Time Traveler


Registered: 03/06/23
Posts: 52
Loc: TBD
Re: Hate my heart [Re: Blackbird33] * 1
    #28239494 - 03/21/23 11:38 AM (10 months, 3 days ago)

Oh I've been there man, it's very dark,hopeless and heavy place. I am so thankful to have found God's endless Love in Jesus to help me through that consuming darkness.

Thank you for your honesty and sharing with us, you are valuable to this world whether you are able to see it or not.

Life doesn't define us but shapes us into who we are for good or bad. We are defined by the Creator who has made all the seen and unseen worlds. Each created entity has a purpose for its existence and is valued... humanity included.

Its going to be tough crawling out of this on your own. Talk to someone you are close to and trust. Share the heaviness on your heart, don't carry it alone.

You can PM me if you'd like.


Some practical things when you're ready:

Simply comfort yourself. Take a hot shower, go sit in the woods, take a nap, get a massage, drink water, eat something healthy... your physical body is probably so neglected right now.

Then...

-Try identifying what exactly you hate about yourself

-Then, determine any unmet needs or desires and reasons why you came to believe that

-See what is true and what may not be.


You aren't alone in how you feel. It seems hopeless right now but you got this! Things can get better.:congrats:

Sending good vibes :thumbup::heart:


--------------------
...Rome wasn't built in a day, but burning it down only took a few...
:thatsinteresting::thatsinteresting:

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleLost at Sea
Time Traveler


Registered: 03/06/23
Posts: 52
Loc: TBD
Re: Hate my heart [Re: Lost at Sea] * 2
    #28239531 - 03/21/23 12:05 PM (10 months, 3 days ago)

And if that doesn't work get a dog :wink:



--------------------
...Rome wasn't built in a day, but burning it down only took a few...
:thatsinteresting::thatsinteresting:

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 1 day, 5 hours
Re: Hate my heart [Re: Blackbird33] * 2
    #28240053 - 03/21/23 05:30 PM (10 months, 2 days ago)

Self-loathing is a very common form of suffering.  I've struggled with it my whole life.  I've read some helpful books on the subject.

Unfortunately, it won't' go away with exercise, healthy eating, or getting a puppy.  You have to launch a strategic counterattack.  Having a daily gratitude practice is one way to start.  It's hard to feel hatred for yourself when you acknowledge what you are grateful for.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineBlackbird33
Stranger

Registered: 12/31/11
Posts: 761
Last seen: 7 months, 23 days
Re: Hate my heart [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #28240070 - 03/21/23 05:46 PM (10 months, 2 days ago)

Those feelings of despair hopelessness just never go away. And you’re right exercise, hobbies, won’t heal a dark soul that just wants to end it all


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblesplit_by_nine
i am the liquor

Registered: 07/11/18
Posts: 21,288
Re: Hate my heart [Re: Blackbird33]
    #28240095 - 03/21/23 06:05 PM (10 months, 2 days ago)

whens the last time you had some good sex?


--------------------
🐴:poop:
hpoo or die


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleLost at Sea
Time Traveler


Registered: 03/06/23
Posts: 52
Loc: TBD
Re: Hate my heart [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #28240145 - 03/21/23 06:30 PM (10 months, 2 days ago)

I know... the puppy suggestion was to lighten things a little. Though having mine does force me to get up to care for her and take the focus off of myself. 

Eating something good wont take the darkness away but being dehydrated and having malnutrition (which I've been both) will add to the hopelessness of a struggling soul.

Vitamin D and B's can help with mood. As well as probiotics for your gut. Just making those additons wont take the feelings away but can help bring a little mind clarity so you're one step closer to getting out of the depression.

The mind and body are one


--------------------
...Rome wasn't built in a day, but burning it down only took a few...
:thatsinteresting::thatsinteresting:

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us."


Edited by Lost at Sea (03/21/23 06:31 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblecubedryeguy
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/24/15
Posts: 536
Re: Hate my heart [Re: Blackbird33]
    #28240161 - 03/21/23 06:38 PM (10 months, 2 days ago)

Quote:

Blackbird33 said:
Those feelings of despair hopelessness just never go away. And you’re right exercise, hobbies, won’t heal a dark soul that just wants to end it all




Do the feelings start first and then the self destructive thought patterns or the other way around?

Try to be aware of yourself enough to catch it.

If it’s the thought patterns then there are ways of dealing with it that will soften that voice over time and inevitably lessen the bodies negative chemical dump of emotions.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineAnahata


Registered: 02/25/12
Posts: 2,399
Last seen: 1 day, 22 hours
Re: Hate my heart [Re: Blackbird33] * 2
    #28240712 - 03/22/23 01:22 AM (10 months, 2 days ago)

Anger turned inwards is an unconcurable enemy. ~Master Splinter


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleloladoreen
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,327
Re: Hate my heart [Re: Blackbird33] * 1
    #28243840 - 03/23/23 10:16 PM (10 months, 15 hours ago)

Quote:

Blackbird33 said:
My self-hatred is so strong every morning I open my eyes i just feel despair. My existence is an utter waste of humanity. I look in the mirror and see a failure who most likely die alone covered in my feces




I really felt this when I read it. I think everyone has felt this way. And while in the feeling it feels like it will last forever and it is overwhelming. It is temporary, even if the feelings come back.. you get through it.
Have you considered talking to someone while you get through this, I am a big supporter of therapy. I think it is wonderful.
I am sad these are your feelings, but I am glad you are opening up. That is important.
Keep talking.. dont stop talking


--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 1 day, 5 hours
Re: Hate my heart [Re: loladoreen] * 2
    #28249523 - 03/27/23 03:53 PM (9 months, 27 days ago)

It might seem bizarre, but some say self-hatred is egotistical behavior.  That chronic self-hatred is kinda the flip side of the narcissism coin.  It's all about me me me.  That degrading oneself feeds the ego. Like depression, it is an incredibly self-centered activity.  It's all about me me me


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineDoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body
Male User Gallery

Registered: 02/25/05
Posts: 1,061
Loc: Green Country
Last seen: 10 days, 16 hours
Re: Hate my heart [Re: RJ Tubs 202] * 2
    #28249678 - 03/27/23 05:21 PM (9 months, 27 days ago)

OP, what do you feel could being happiness to you?  Have you tried helping anyone else, maybe volunteering somewhere? 

A secret trick I have when I'm feeling swamped and down is to realize that.... and this may be hard to believe sometimes, but you bet your ass its true.... that my life is someone else's dream life.  Say that:

MY life, is someone, somewheres, DREAM LIFE.  Maybe not my psyche or my emotions, but my circumstances, surroundings, etc.  I bet for most of us here, it is True - Our Life, is SOMEONES dream life. 

No amount of external ass kissing, pity, or sympathy will genuinely solve our sorrow.  We have to be THANKFUL, because our life is somebody else's dream.  They WISH and hope and DREAM for a life like yours and mine.  Someone does, I bet you anything.  So be grateful,  and see if you can help someone somehow. 

Hope for your best.  Self loathing is tempting, but also, as RJ said above, quite a small centered thing.  You got to get past it, sooner the better.  Find something that gives you hope, and focus on it, and dont give up, and remember once again, someone wishes and cries for opportunities like you've got.


--------------------
This was an experiment.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineBlackbird33
Stranger

Registered: 12/31/11
Posts: 761
Last seen: 7 months, 23 days
Re: Hate my heart [Re: DoneKildatReason]
    #28257550 - 04/01/23 11:56 AM (9 months, 23 days ago)

Being dead feeling absolutely nothing leaving it all behind. The only reason why I don’t end it is because it would inevitably hurt my family to know I made such a choice. If I had surefire way ti make it look like an accident I would have ended things a long time ago.


Edited by Blackbird33 (04/01/23 02:48 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1

Shop: Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals, CBD Capsules   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds, Bulk Cannabis Seeds


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* One bad-ass, heart-thumping DREAM!! -- Update!
( 1 2 all )
MOTH 2,597 20 03/03/05 05:16 PM
by freddurgan
* I hate you (a message to the human race)
( 1 2 all )
moog 4,465 23 04/18/05 09:56 PM
by entiformatie
* I hate being gay
( 1 2 3 all )
jarby 19,060 59 10/30/03 08:09 PM
by sykobish
* Hopeless DUBS 809 5 01/27/05 12:24 PM
by UKShroomHunter55
* heart pains? FurrySheep 4,365 18 01/01/06 02:33 AM
by Pirate_Patrick
* cannabis and heart rate moog 1,935 16 02/23/05 03:11 PM
by moog
* bad heart? Intheneed 1,598 3 03/19/03 12:32 PM
by billy cuts
* i hate my job
( 1 2 all )
wrestler_az 4,565 29 11/13/03 09:09 PM
by wrestler_az

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: CherryBom, Rose, mndfreeze, yogabunny, feevers, CookieCrumbs, Northerner
255 topic views. 0 members, 2 guests and 2 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.026 seconds spending 0.007 seconds on 15 queries.