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OfflineTrancedOutBrah
Stranger
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Registered: 08/17/21
Posts: 1,303
Last seen: 19 hours, 36 minutes
Re: I just quit all psychedelics and weed for good to save my marriage [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28298257 - 04/27/23 11:36 PM (8 months, 27 days ago)

No offense but your wife sounds like my ex fiancee and its the reason why I ended up leaving her.

If you give up everything you love just for her to shit on you, she isn't a good wife anyway.


--------------------
Lead by example, words mean little when your actions don't reflect what you say.

Spread kindness, love, empathy, compassion.

Learn from mistakes. Try and do better. Each day is a new day, try to make it a better one.

Coconut and Avocado is awesome for the skin.

MIND OVER MATTER

:mushroom2::lsd:


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,327
Re: I just quit all psychedelics and weed for good to save my marriage [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28299138 - 04/28/23 04:56 PM (8 months, 26 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:

loladoreen said:
I am curious to how things are going?



I will have to wait and see. I don't really know how the kids are doing. Last night I received a short video. I felt they aren't happy/something is wrong, but they could have been just tired.
You see, I think about them a lot and sometimes I feel like I am going nuts or overanalyze the whole situation. That I read something in between the lines that actually isn't really there.

I have no clue what my wife plans or what she thinks about the whole situation as we haven't really talked to each other since I left, accept for organizing video calls between the children and I. I can only interpretate her actions and there's lots of room for misinterpretation.

What I know is that she and her mother talked for hours during the last few days I have been there. In the evening, when the kids slept, she would go over there and stay there for hours, which isn't part of her usual routine. My mother in law lives in a little flat on the property.

On the day my flight was scheduled to leave I wanted to do the online check-in and print out my tickets. As the only printer is owned by my mother in law I went there while she was going to the shops. I try to avoid my mother in law whenever I can, so I waited till she was gone. So I do my online check-in, but didn't want her to know I did, because I didn't ask and by now I feel I need to ask for allowance before I do the smallest thing.
That's why I decided to delete the browser history after I was done. That's how paranoid I got, so you see this whole thing is truely taking it's toll on my mind. I usually do not work like that... (this is also another good reason why I think it might be good to move out for a while)

Anyway it wasn't my intention to snoop around, but I saw what my mother in law was doing online on that very morning before she left. She visited pages of several divorce lawyers and even checked out information about debt collectors. I ask myself what business does she have getting involved in the first place and in which reality does she think I owe her any money? Even though I don't like her I did a lot of things for her over the years. As she never really liked me she might enjoy crushing me. She's a very toxic person, thriving on negativity, complaining about everything and nothing is ever good enough for her. Have you ever met a person that finds something negative in the most beautiful things? Or let's rather say looks for something negative in perfection? She's one of them. She's also the only human being in my life that I just can't stand being around.

So anyway, there's definitely something going on that I am not aware of. I might return home and there will be papers waiting to get signed. Maybe not.
In case of a divorce my permanent residence permit that I received only recently will be scrapped and I will be forced to leave the country.
In about a week I will know.

For now I just hope the time till I see my children again will go by fast. As you can imagine this whole thing is definitely not good for them. For me it's all about getting them through this with the least amount of damage.
I wish things could go back to normal, but I don't think that's possible anymore at this stage.




It sounds like you are in a different place in your life. It honestly sounds like you are doing ok despite what is going on.
Question yourself on why you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Her actions sound like she doesn't.
I hope you do well. I am so glad you updated and that you are adjusting and surviving and soon to be thriving :smile:


--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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Anonymous #1

Re: I just quit all psychedelics and weed for good to save my marriage [Re: loladoreen]
    #28460386 - 09/06/23 08:47 AM (4 months, 20 days ago)

Quote:

loladoreen said:
It sounds like you are in a different place in your life. It honestly sounds like you are doing ok despite what is going on.
Question yourself on why you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Her actions sound like she doesn't.
I hope you do well. I am so glad you updated and that you are adjusting and surviving and soon to be thriving :smile:




Thanks Loladoreen, I hope I'll be thriving again soon.

Here's a little update, 130 days later. I am not sure if it's truely relevant (I was asked by the shroomery bot if it is), but I guess I will post anyway. I need to vent.

I've gone through a rough time the last couple of months. I don't know if I mentioned, but I got kicked out of the house, lived in airbnbs for a while like a nomad and then finally found a flat I could move into.
All while I tried my best to make things right between my wife and I by going to couples counseling, live up to the best version of myself and even talking to my wife's pastor.

Haven't smoked weed still and tested negative twice in front of my wife. I don't even really miss getting stoned in the evenings except on days like this one... Still doing well at my job and even got a nice car now.

I have been served with a divorce summons a few months back, which is currently "put on ice" while we're busy getting our shit together, which kind of seems hopeless at this stage.

I see my children daily, when I fetch them from school and drop them off at my wife's place. I also spend time with them on weekends. However in case of a divorce I'll need to leave the country and will be alienated from my children. I try to live in the moment and enjoy each and every second I got with them.

I am tired. I don't know what's going to happen next. It feels like I can't go on like this much longer, but at the same time I know I have to.
Putting on a smile on my face for my clients, co-workers, friends and family members overseas, each and every day, just so they think I am alright is kind of exhausting.


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,327
Re: I just quit all psychedelics and weed for good to save my marriage [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28460536 - 09/06/23 12:42 PM (4 months, 20 days ago)

I am so happy that you updated :smile:

Sounds like you are doing things to get your family back together. Is that still what you want?


--------------------
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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Anonymous #1

Re: I just quit all psychedelics and weed for good to save my marriage [Re: loladoreen]
    #28461500 - 09/07/23 12:39 PM (4 months, 19 days ago)

It would be best for each family member if we could get back together. Especially for our kids. It would be better in many different ways. Primarily I would like to spend as much time as possible with my children. They need me and I need them. It just feels wrong to be apart.

I worked a lot to create some sort of common ground which we could use as a foundation to rebuild our relationship, but it pretty much feels like I am the only one doing the work. There's nothing coming from her side that would give me hope really.

It's like she actually doesn't want me back, be it consciously or subconsciously. She's just going through the motions. I think she feels like she needs a good reason to go forward with the divorce process and currently there's none other than just being tired of me.

I am aware that I would sacrifice a lot of my persona in order to reunite with the family, but the alternatives seem far worse and I would be willing to make that sacrifice.


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