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Anonymous #1

Why can’t I be a normal functional adult?
    #28203072 - 02/24/23 06:36 PM (10 months, 27 days ago)

This is more of a rhetorical post. But for most of my life I’ve suffered from depression, suicidal ideation, lack of self-worth, and anxiety. I’m near middle-aged, have no meaningful friendships, have been on a date in over 5 years, and sex I’m more likely to be selected by NASA to man the next space mission.


I get up everyday goto work, while slowing dying on the inside. A week ago I met this woman through work that is so beautiful, nice personality. I wish I was fucking normal, the actual type that would have guts to throw caution to the wind and ask her out. But then I remember I’m an ugly ass introvert. Why can’t I be fucking normal or even just a fraction of attractive.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 4
    #28203084 - 02/24/23 06:40 PM (10 months, 27 days ago)

Start taking some dance classes. If you know how to dance, all you have to do is brush your teeth and girls will want to talk to you.

Go volunteer, that'll build confidence. It feels good to do things for your community, there's something very sexy about doing unsexy things.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 3
    #28203097 - 02/24/23 06:47 PM (10 months, 27 days ago)

Ive been there. Been a long time now but ive been there. I agree with the above post. Do things that put yourself outside of your comfort zone. Get around healthy people. Might take awhile but youll adjust. Get rid of less obvious addictions. Junk food, porn/masturbation/video games/nicotine/netflix binging. I was stuck in that rut for soooo long. Youve got to remember everyone deals with their own shit. Even that beautiful girl. I guarantee shes felt awkward and lost at times in her life as well. Changing youself is the hardest thing one can do, but it will be a lot less painful than sitting in the position youre in now and wakiing up in 10-20 years wishing you did something about it sooner.


Edited by Anonymous (02/24/23 07:46 PM)


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Anonymous #4

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #28206059 - 02/26/23 08:25 PM (10 months, 25 days ago)

Work out (cardio + weights), put the phone down to go to sleep at a decent time, take a 3-6 month+ break from ALL drugs, cut out soda and packaged foods (fast food, sugar), enroll in some type of social active class - yoga, ju jitsu, etc.

You will be a new person and all of these I've found are pretty much required to feel good.  It's way easier than you think, but may take a while to get the ball rolling and make some big lifestyle changes.


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Anonymous #5

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #28206227 - 02/26/23 11:12 PM (10 months, 25 days ago)

Agreed.

Exercise and proper nutrition are essential to being happy, at least for me anyways.


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Anonymous #6

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28206253 - 02/26/23 11:41 PM (10 months, 25 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
This is more of a rhetorical post. But for most of my life I’ve suffered from depression, suicidal ideation, lack of self-worth, and anxiety. I’m near middle-aged, have no meaningful friendships, have been on a date in over 5 years, and sex I’m more likely to be selected by NASA to man the next space mission.


I get up everyday goto work, while slowing dying on the inside. A week ago I met this woman through work that is so beautiful, nice personality. I wish I was fucking normal, the actual type that would have guts to throw caution to the wind and ask her out. But then I remember I’m an ugly ass introvert. Why can’t I be fucking normal or even just a fraction of attractive.




What makes you feel you are not normal?


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Anonymous #1

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #28207217 - 02/27/23 07:15 PM (10 months, 24 days ago)

I can’t develop any type of connections friendship or romantic wise. I’m just an ugly ass person why no real social skills. I’ve tried photography, hiking, sports, gym travel, but I can never get to the point of actually interacting with someone for a length a time.

Like if someone gave me two free tickets to my favorite musical act I couldn’t think of one person who would say yet to spending a few hours with me.


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Anonymous #6

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28207425 - 02/27/23 10:16 PM (10 months, 24 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I can’t develop any type of connections friendship or romantic wise. I’m just an ugly ass person why no real social skills. I’ve tried photography, hiking, sports, gym travel, but I can never get to the point of actually interacting with someone for a length a time.

Like if someone gave me two free tickets to my favorite musical act I couldn’t think of one person who would say yet to spending a few hours with me.



I would go
We can be new friends
I am sorry
I have felt that way a lot
Doesn't feel good


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Anonymous #2

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #28207527 - 02/28/23 12:20 AM (10 months, 24 days ago)

Volunteer or start going to church. Doesn't have to be a cause or religion you believe in, just go.

If you are feeling lonely, either of those can help a lot.


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Anonymous #6

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28207876 - 02/28/23 09:28 AM (10 months, 24 days ago)

What do you enjoy? What are things you can do that involve other people? What is something you can do that you are able to get very involved with. Involved enough that it is a distraction from your loneliness.
I am sure you are normal. Your just really going through it.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #28211316 - 03/02/23 04:59 PM (10 months, 21 days ago)

I don’t really enjoy anything anymore. At different times in my life I had passions. Now I’m just waiting to die. I know all my problems would be solved with a bullet in the head. There’s no end to my deep unhappiness and failures in life.


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Anonymous #6

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28211544 - 03/02/23 07:19 PM (10 months, 21 days ago)

Have you made attempts to treat your depression?
Counseling, RX if needed.
There are some advantages with this era we are in and the internet that you can use.
1. You can make friends online.
2. Be you or be anonymous
Try to meet peopel online


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Anonymous #6

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28212856 - 03/03/23 05:26 PM (10 months, 20 days ago)

How are you doing?


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Anonymous #1

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #28213109 - 03/03/23 08:18 PM (10 months, 20 days ago)

I know a for sure way on how to solve all my problems. It’s all becoming too much and I have fight left in me. A lot of things in my life are going bad right now and I’m just fucking tired. It’s always like this as I was driving today I couldn’t help but think a bullet under my chin would solve everything


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Anonymous #7

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28213125 - 03/03/23 08:29 PM (10 months, 20 days ago)

Everyone feels like that sometimes.

You just gotta keep trying, get rejected, try more, get more rejection, keep on trying. That's just what life is like, you're actually probably totally normal, at least you sound like most people in this thread. You just have to keep going at it and trying. Get out there and date and ask people out.

I'm probably twice as ugly as you are, and I get an amount of rejection that you would not believe, but I keep at it and eventually I find success here and there. My recent success rate for getting dates is literally 1%, I've kept track, and in several hundred attempts, the rate is hovering about 1%. That's life.


Edited by Anonymous (03/03/23 08:31 PM)


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Anonymous #4

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #28213199 - 03/03/23 09:22 PM (10 months, 20 days ago)

You made it this far through a billion years of evolution.  Don't quit now.  Change things up.  Go work on a farm somewhere.  Do something new that you've always wanted that's out of your comfort zone.


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Anonymous #8

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28213481 - 03/04/23 01:58 AM (10 months, 20 days ago)

Your not the first or only one who feels thinks this, just one of the few that seek help or ask why. Many have killed themselves many have died otherways without getting this far.

Think about how society is being directed by narratives towards certain ideas and beliefs all the while crumbling. You should feel lost or at times hopeless/depressed. We have always lived in unperfect uncertain times. The things going on in this world are unnatural and scary.

Get a pet.

Try dmt and discover you are forever and we are all one. I bet you are just being down on yourelf, or you are in a repeating cycle that keeps you on a certain path.

If things are as bad as you say then just accept it, be thankful for what you do have. Just dont bring pain onto yourself.

Learn code even if it takes 30 years. Make it a lifes mission to build a app or somthing that attracts like minded people to connect other self thinking introverts that have specific issues and just want to share time with. You could hang out at festivals or do small shit, then if you want post pics online with all your new random (even if one time hangout friends) that shit will help you. You will see where and how you fit in. You will look "normal" to others if you really care about that.

If all else fails, im pretty sure you like laughing, tell the world to fuck off and spend your time filling your soul with humour and laughs. Laughter is good for the soul.

Or go hard and devote your life to helping others less foruntunate than you. Ring the bell for the salvation army. Pour soup for the homless. Visit a home for the elderly, they always need someone to spend time with.


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Anonymous #8

Re: Why can’t I be a normal functional adult? [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #28213491 - 03/04/23 02:22 AM (10 months, 20 days ago)

There are young handsome people with social skills that cant get a date either, and i bet you have more in common with those people than you could imagine. I once went to a psycic and we got talking about ideas like this. She told me somthing like 70 or 80 percent of young women that come in are suicidal and are seeking help. Try not to accuse yourself of being lame or wrong and realise there are a lot of people in the world with problems some way worse than yours. Im not sure what i just said makes sense or gets what im trying to convey but im just going to post it anyway.

If you are ugly just be kind, we all need more kindness, kindness from random strangers is sometimes what makes a persons whole year. Maybe the woman that you met at work was being kind to you is what made you think about the things you are now. Life is to caotic, save that bullet for a bad guy that wants to do harm.


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