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Anonymous #1
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I have a lot of other things going on. It is in the back of my mind all the time. He is rude and I told him so. He told me he is on day 4 of alcohol withdrawals. So he thought being rude was appropriate. I told him to not contact me then. I am so over it. he is very far from home, no transportation etc. He is a problem I dont have time for right now. And it sucks
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
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Maybe give it a bit and touch base later if you care about the friendship and want to give it another chance. I was mostly concerned about you getting into trouble that could escalate when you were panicked, and it sounds like you did what you could to handle that situation responsibly and respectfully. Withdrawals and alcohol use can make people crazy for a bit, but that's not an excuse to rely on after they've passed. Withdrawals are also a sign of some pretty serious drinking habits. You can let that be his problem unless you want it to be yours too. You were honest, clear, and fair with your friend. I'd say the ball is in his court to be a better friend in return.
And it does suck, but I think you did well with it. For whatever it's worth from a stranger, I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself even though it was hard and risky.
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Anonymous #1
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THANK YOU So much. That made me happy. I tent to sit on things and figure out the best response before replying. And often it looks like I am doing nothing. But I am.. I am trying to logically figure it out. I am more concerned with my son then myself. Today when he was rude, he was talking about my son. That shit is not happening. My son is in early recovery and he is a drunk My son is more respectful then he is.
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thirtygoats

Registered: 12/29/11
Posts: 1,985
Last seen: 2 days, 12 hours
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I think the person you're dealing with is an idiot. I think he probably just feels happy because of you, and you're probably the only thing in his life that makes him happy. People are supposed to be happy with their life and then find someone they love, because if they don't, then all of their happiness is depending on the person they're with, so breaking up with them can be dangerous. If he isn't smart enough to know what to do to stop himself from feeling like he wants to harm you, then he was never your friend, and he was always your enemy, just hiding who he really was.
Alcoholism is a huge red flag. I would suggest that you completely remove him from your life because you can probably get someone better. If you're allowed to have a gun, I'd advise you to keep it within arm's reach at all times, or atleast a folding knife. I've heard a lot of crime stories and many of them are of the same circumstance that you're describing with him, and those crime stories don't end well. They usually end with someone dying and someone going to prison for the rest of their life.
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: THANK YOU So much. That made me happy. I tent to sit on things and figure out the best response before replying. And often it looks like I am doing nothing. But I am.. I am trying to logically figure it out. I am more concerned with my son then myself. Today when he was rude, he was talking about my son. That shit is not happening. My son is in early recovery and he is a drunk My son is more respectful then he is.
We all need a little validation sometimes. It was no biggie. I felt like you deserved the compliment and I was happy to share it with you. If you feel good about yourself, then it's easier to feel good about what you're fighting for in a conflict. It's definitely okay to fight for your kid, particularly if he's already vulnerable and needs the help. Giving your kid a chance to finish growing up is a good thing.
That sounds like a good way to work through stuff, and I'd like to think I'd have the same priorities in your position. You also took action when it was important to act promptly. Beyond that, buying time to make good decisions is almost always a wise strategy, particularly when you don't know what's going on or what to do about it. Thinking through stuff and feeling out a situation is the best way to avoid unnecessary regret when you can afford it.
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Mr.GuessWork said:
Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: THANK YOU So much. That made me happy. I tent to sit on things and figure out the best response before replying. And often it looks like I am doing nothing. But I am.. I am trying to logically figure it out. I am more concerned with my son then myself. Today when he was rude, he was talking about my son. That shit is not happening. My son is in early recovery and he is a drunk My son is more respectful then he is.
We all need a little validation sometimes. It was no biggie. I felt like you deserved the compliment and I was happy to share it with you. If you feel good about yourself, then it's easier to feel good about what you're fighting for in a conflict. It's definitely okay to fight for your kid, particularly if he's already vulnerable and needs the help. Giving your kid a chance to finish growing up is a good thing.
That sounds like a good way to work through stuff, and I'd like to think I'd have the same priorities in your position. You also took action when it was important to act promptly. Beyond that, buying time to make good decisions is almost always a wise strategy, particularly when you don't know what's going on or what to do about it. Thinking through stuff and feeling out a situation is the best way to avoid unnecessary regret when you can afford it.
😍
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