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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28202814 - 02/24/23 03:46 PM (10 months, 28 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I told my son
He flipped out




Is he okay? I understand being pissed. I'd be pissed too. That's okay as long as he doesn't get himself into trouble. Did you guys get a chance to talk about what to do next?

I think you did the right thing for what it's worth. The best you can do is give somebody the info they need to protect themselves and offer what help you can. I'd want to be told if I were your son. Hopefully he cools down and gets away from the guy and the situation. It might be worth sending him a text and offering him a place to stay at the other house for a few days. Maybe remind him to stay away from the guy to avoid the BS he's causing for everybody.


Edited by Mr.GuessWork (02/24/23 03:55 PM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Roflspammer]
    #28202836 - 02/24/23 04:00 PM (10 months, 28 days ago)

No one is taking it serious.
He keeps texting me like nothing happened.
Im livid
My ex that I live with has said nothing
Its why I asked... am I interpreting this correctly?


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28202864 - 02/24/23 04:19 PM (10 months, 28 days ago)

I'd take it seriously. It was definitely a threat, and it was pretty strait forward to interpret. Maybe the guy was drunk or whatever, but it's still fucked up. I'm not sure if your partner is avoiding a response because he's not sure about what to do or whatever, but that doesn't mean you can't lead the charge and handle it yourself. Again though, don't rush. You warned the people that needed to know, the so can take your time and make well thought out decisions. The main reason I said to warn your partner was so he didn't get surprised, and he's in the loop now so you did your part. It's more or less the same reason for your son, but he gets some extra consideration since he's your kid, he's living by the guy, and he's already been fucked  with for no fault of his own.

Even if you're partner is being idle, then you can still put distance between you and the guy. Trying to coerce a romantic relationship is beyond fucked up, particularly from a friend. How is he going to behave if you're vulnerable and actually need a friend to rely on? I wouldn't trust him. Let him keep texting. Somebody fucking with my kid would piss me off pretty bad too. I'd probably end a friendship over that alone.

Your son is okay though?  I'd confirm that and make sure he's got a decent plan and some options if the situation gets worse. 24 is still pretty young to have to deal with something like this. It sounds like he loves his mom at the very least, so try to keep him out of the shit if you can. Maybe he'll listen to you.


Edited by Mr.GuessWork (02/24/23 04:22 PM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #28202877 - 02/24/23 04:25 PM (10 months, 28 days ago)

Partner is my ex husband
My friend is driving his truck
My friend is from Alaska
I'm mad super mad
When my friend yelled at my son his dad told me. Idk excactly what went down but he said obviously the guys in love with you & blames my son for us not getting together
My ex husband won't rock the boat ir defend me it's always been that way
I still have not said anything in response to his text & email
S
He hasn't acknowledged what he said


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OfflineRoflspammer
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Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28202896 - 02/24/23 04:36 PM (10 months, 28 days ago)

Is there a reason you are not calling the police?


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Roflspammer]
    #28202905 - 02/24/23 04:45 PM (10 months, 28 days ago)

I'd be mad too. It's fucked up, and I'd be moving towards getting the guy out of my life. Your friend already said enough IMO. I'd consider discussing it with him if he promptly volunteered an apology, but he hasn't done that. Instead he's letting a threat hang in the air, and that's not cool. Like I said before, as long as everybody is protected and in the loop, then you can take some time and think about what to do next. Keep the texts on your phone and don't delete them. They might be useful if he acts on the threat by trying to get your kid in trouble.

It sounds like your son's dad (different from your ex presumably?) is looking out for him too. Honestly, I'd clue him in to the threat if you haven't already so he doesn't get surprised either. It sounds like he's looking out for your son, and protecting the kid is worth some embarrassment or whatever. It's BS that you have to do all that though, and that's on your friend.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Roflspammer]
    #28203150 - 02/24/23 07:33 PM (10 months, 27 days ago)

Quote:

Roflspammer said:
Is there a reason you are not calling the police?




I'm the only one concerned about it.  No one else is concerned. Until this week he has been the most supportive person in my life- ever.
I know he drinks at night. I'm sure it is alcohol fueled.

When I got home I went over there & as my son walked away he came towards me. As he reached for my door I just drove off.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28204047 - 02/25/23 12:35 PM (10 months, 27 days ago)

I think you knew it was a threat before you posted here.

Also would fancy my female landlord, but I don't push the limit. (She told me she has a bf when I moved in, why complicate shit. I need a place)

OP, Do you dress provocatively Infront of the guy who's "in love with you" (I think it's his obsession, really)

If I were your significant other and found out the extremes of someone being inlove with you, when the shit finally hits the fan. I'd be questioning loyalty  and all sortsa BS.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28204564 - 02/25/23 07:07 PM (10 months, 26 days ago)

I dress the same in front of him as I do anyone. I don't dress provocatively.
We (my friend) are tight, he and I are super tight. He is the most supportive friend I have ever had. BUT
He will send me all these things showing me how perfect we are together... I never reply, I just ignore it. I used to talk to him about dating, etc. But he would get mad so I dont know.
I don't think he(my exhusband) cares if other guys are into me. We have had that a few times before, he doesn't care.
My exhusband and I don't have like a strong relationship or anything. I moved in to raise out grandkids together. In the beginning I made strong boundaries with him.
If I was able to leave, I would.
My friend knows this.
He has no respect for my ex husband, he talks shit about him here and there.


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OfflineMarkamello
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Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28205105 - 02/26/23 08:50 AM (10 months, 26 days ago)

You should set him up. I assume you live and the states which means you own a gun. You need to invite him around and when he arrives have an unloaded gun sitting on the bench in clear view for him to pick up and attempt to shoot you with.

You just need a reason for him to shoot you so maybe get his brother or dad to come over and, this is the important part, you need to be fucking the shit out of them when he opens the door. Hopefully he picks the gun up and when he does. Boom! You shotgun him in the face as soon as he drops his prints on the piece.

Now you might have to be careful because his dad or brother or who ever you use as bait may be pissed off too after blasting him so make sure you have another shot to take them down too if need be.

But seriously. Just report it to the cops.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28205205 - 02/26/23 10:20 AM (10 months, 26 days ago)

To be honest I am heartbroken.
He is my best friend.
I still have not talked to him.
He texted me a nice text this morning.
I only responded with you threatened me.


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Anonymous #4

Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28205962 - 02/26/23 07:04 PM (10 months, 25 days ago)

He is not your best friend. He’s not even a friend. He’s been putting in an act to manipulate you into “loving him back” and as you saw, the thought of all his work not paying off caused him to threaten you

None of what you describe of him is normal for a decent man

He’s a threat to your son and yourself. Be on guard please because obsessed/rejected dudes can do some very fucked up things in a hurry and THIS is the time period where you have a chance to make a move to protect yourself…or not


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Anonymous #4

Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28205968 - 02/26/23 07:06 PM (10 months, 25 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
He keeps texting me like nothing happened.





BIG RED FLAG

I’m sorry you considered him so close and I know it feels horrible to think of him not being what you thought he was. I may be wrong but better safe than sorry


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OfflineMarkamello
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Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #28206325 - 02/27/23 02:24 AM (10 months, 25 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #4 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
He keeps texting me like nothing happened.





BIG RED FLAG

I’m sorry you considered him so close and I know it feels horrible to think of him not being what you thought he was. I may be wrong but better safe than sorry




You're not wrong. This looks bad and dangerous. It's sad but the danger of the situation should not be underestimated.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Markamello]
    #28206529 - 02/27/23 09:12 AM (10 months, 25 days ago)

I finally sent a text that said
"You threatened me"
He replied:
I'm so sorry. It was not a physical threat.
then sent another text :
More out of casting you out of my reality threat.
And then the rest of his texts were normal
I dont even know how to respond..
I have only been responding to texts that have questions.
I am stunned
He is like 65 years old


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Offlineashfiken
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Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28206736 - 02/27/23 12:32 PM (10 months, 25 days ago)

I believe boundaries maybe should have been set prior.
With the signs of his "obsession" seemingly pretty clear, I feel like more should have been done before now to squell this issue.
Now it seems more difficult and things are a little close for comfort..

When a man sends lustful or obsessive texts, esp being your best friend, lines need to be drawn.
It seems instead of taking the opportunity to do so, you say you just ignored it.

Almost like your ex not really giving a shit, has rubbed of on you and the way you handled this.
Obviously the dude has some issues if he is 65 threatening any kind of thing, as your "friend".
When those sorta texts got sent, a response should be sent by you, if those insinuations of feelings are not mutual.

Something like, "I'm glad you hold me in such high regard, but we will never be more than friends". And be consistent with that.
Ignoring just makes him think it is OK, for him to continue this behavior, thinking maybe, "she's just not emotionally available now", or "I'll always be there for her, I can wait" or whatever other ideas persist in his mind that allow his continuance of feelings/obsession.

At this point, I'm sorry you are losing a fri3nd, but it should be made clear that if he wants to stay where he is living, he needs to respect the boundaries, on3s you maybe have set but not have reiterated or been rigid enough in ensuring they are understood.


--------------------
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Anonymous #1

Re: Is this a threat? [Re: ashfiken]
    #28206743 - 02/27/23 12:38 PM (10 months, 25 days ago)

He knows. I have made it crystal clear that I am not interested.
Apparently when he yelled at my son, that is why he was so angry. I was talking if I should continue to put energy into my relationship or move on.
I have talked to him about him dating other people. He talked to me about him dating others.
I have drawn a solid line. There are no blurred boundaries. There is no confusion .


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Anonymous #5

Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28206835 - 02/27/23 01:44 PM (10 months, 25 days ago)

You have scary things in your life 🥵


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Anonymous #1

Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28206852 - 02/27/23 01:53 PM (10 months, 25 days ago)

sigh.....
I am overwhelmed today.


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: Is this a threat? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28206889 - 02/27/23 02:34 PM (10 months, 25 days ago)

Don't let it eat you up. It sounds like you did what you could do, and handled it pretty well. keep paying attention. I'd want a better apology than that with some more future accountability. I don't really understand the explanation either. I guess it's nice that he didn't plan to murder you and burry you in a shallow grave, but that's still pretty weak. He should be able to handle his feelings without threatening you.


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