So, I've ended up back in the negative cycle of needing an insane amount of coffee just to feel normal in a day now. And it's not even normal, sometimes it's fine, but sometimes it adds a jittery anxious edge to things.
It started off with me wanting to enjoy a buzz on christmas (coffee on zero tolerance is amazingly euphoric to me) The problem is, the next day, I feel sluggish and horrible, which leads to going back to the coffee, and then I'm stuck, incrementally having to increase my dose to the point where I'm currently at 6/7 cups per day. Strong cups. None of that instant shite.
I want coffee to be a purely recreational drug, for special occasions.
I could absolutely do this today With a cold turkey approach, which I have done many times in the past, however I know that the next 2 days will be hell, my motor functions and mind body connection are just not there at all, everything is an effort, everything I pick up falls and I just have no wit or gumption at all. The residual effects, which are lesser, probably bother me for about a week (Brain cobwebs, never feeling properly 'with it'.
I don't really want to write these days off as recovery days, as they're my only days off work. I was wondering if there is some way to mask or substitute the caffeine for the next couple of days.
The tools at my disposal are modafinil, which seemed to have similar effects to caffeine when I tried it. Another thing I was considering was amphetamine, but the amphetamine I currently have after testing is adulterated with caffeine anyway, so, it may help to wean, but I have no idea of the caffeine content.
I also have some xanax, which I imagine might lessen the headaches and the awful end of world feelig.
I also have chamomile tea, which has a very very subtle calming effect.
(On a side note, why do drug dealers feel the need to add caffeine to everything. If we want caffeine we can just get a coffee. It never synergises well with these stimulants, it's just an added source of jitters and anxiety. Amph is cheap as fuck to produce, is is not a good economical practice. Sure caffeine powder is perhaps moderately cheaper, but then you're selling bunk product, and I will never return to these despicable cretins. Selling chemicals for human ingestion and intentionally lying about the chemical composition is negligence that ends human lives in many cases, it should NEVER be done, and there needs to be more of a push against it in the community.) `
So do you think any of these might help to get me through a few shitty 'write off' days? Should I just deal with the turkey being cold?
Or does anyone know a way to get the brain firig on these days without caffeine (Or excercise. I've tried that, but body does not do what I want it to do and makes it clear that it resents me trying to do anything at all.)
I think society really underestimates and tolerates the detrimental effects of this highly addictive substance because it's become so engrained in our culture. And I guess it doesn't lead to stealing your moms TV to get a hit. Small victory for caffeine I guess.
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