Home | Community | Message Board

World Seed Supply
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds   North Spore Injection Grain Bag   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom

Jump to first unread post Pages: < Back | 1 | 2  [ show all ]
OfflineB Traven
Stranger
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/10/20
Posts: 2,479
Loc: Central Megalopolis
Last seen: 34 minutes, 50 seconds
Re: My gf keeps getting harassed by her ex [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28168792 - 02/02/23 09:45 AM (11 months, 19 days ago)

It just came up in my feed, that's all.

Edit: I did in fact use the word "help," but not in the context of others helping. Just in the sense of what you're doing and whether it gets you anywhere.


--------------------
Beware of advice- even this.


Edited by B Traven (02/02/23 09:53 AM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRoflspammer
Strangest
Male User Gallery


Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 1,901
Loc: New Hampshire
Last seen: 10 hours, 35 minutes
Re: My gf keeps getting harassed by her ex [Re: B Traven]
    #28168842 - 02/02/23 10:14 AM (11 months, 19 days ago)

She will never not be affected by her past, that's not how history works. She may be able to forgive and accept, then do things which allow growth; that's where her willingness, disposition, character, and of course history all begin to take hold. Past action is the best predictor of future actions, but it's not the end of the story.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #5

Re: My gf keeps getting harassed by her ex [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28169082 - 02/02/23 12:48 PM (11 months, 19 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
It's not taboo anymore to get with a married woman if she's emotionally available.




Just because it isn't taboo doesn't mean it isn't stupid

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Her husband cheated on her first, with multiple women...  He made the mistakes, not me or her. If he'd done the right thing they would have been divorced years ago. She's just been stuck with his lies and his kid.




And where exactly is your info coming from? Her, right?  Women will say just about anything to manipulate some sad sack into giving them what they want
You're gullible and being played and sticking your dick where it's guaranteed to give you problems, but they aren't my problems so I don't really care


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinezora
Blissful
 User Gallery


Registered: 09/13/22
Posts: 59
Loc: Swiss
Last seen: 4 days, 7 hours
Re: My gf keeps getting harassed by her ex [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #28169287 - 02/02/23 02:57 PM (11 months, 19 days ago)

This thread has good wisdom for the OP (thread starter) for future. But in the current stage - looks as the damage is already done here...


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #4

Re: My gf keeps getting harassed by her ex [Re: Anonymous #5] * 1
    #28169308 - 02/02/23 03:05 PM (11 months, 19 days ago)

My friend.

Some of us are coming from a place of experience. I am 40yrs old and I told you not to get involved because a woman with children in tow, fresh out of an abusive relationship is a really really bad idea for you.

Kids are hard to raise and extremely expensive.  Do you really want to dump your resources into raising a child that is not your own? You will never be a real father to that child, but you will pay like a real father.  You will probably pay more than the real father because you are a nice guy.

This woman has been traumatized, you are going to see that trauma play out in your relationship.  I don’t imagine she can afford therapy? Her trauma, her problems are becoming your problems.

You are already trying to find a way to get involved to make her ex pay.  You are consoling her every night, her problems = your problems. So why choose a woman with so many damn problems?

And why do you think this dude abused her? She was fucking on him brother, getting involved with someone with that behavior pattern. Next it will be you!

Don’t take this personally. We don’t know you. It’s not an insult. I have been there. I have had a woman bring me to my knees, suicidal thoughts, homicidal thoughts.  I had to get help and get the fuck away before I lost it.

I just don’t want that to happen to you.  A woman like this can ruin your life.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: My gf keeps getting harassed by her ex [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #28169498 - 02/02/23 05:02 PM (11 months, 19 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #5 said:
And where exactly is your info coming from? Her, right?  Women will say just about anything to manipulate some sad sack into giving them what they want
You're gullible and being played and sticking your dick where it's guaranteed to give you problems, but they aren't my problems so I don't really care



No one's perfect. I have problems that she's taking on as well.
I'm not just taking her word for it. He admitted the night he came home from jail that the separation is 100% his fault and he stopped loving her 3 years ago. We've been to his new girl's place to drop off the kid and she comes with him to pickup sometimes too. I'm not being lied to or manipulated.
Quote:



Anonymous #4 said:
You are consoling her every night, her problems = your problems. So why choose a woman with so many damn problems?

And why do you think this dude abused her? She was fucking on him brother, getting involved with someone with that behavior pattern. Next it will be you!




You're just assuming and jumping to conclusions. Feel free to share your experience so maybe we can glean some wisdom from it. But don't pretend to know my girl, you're simply wrong. No matter what she's potentially done, no one deserves abuse. If you fall out of love with a spouse or discover the vows are broken, just divorce. Instead he fucked around on her and lied to her for years to keep her as a maid or something.

Trust me, I've been in a toxic relationship like you all assume this is. Where the girl slept around and I ultimately couldn't trust her. But this situation is different, you don't need to worry. She says the same thing to me about her problems, that she doesn't want to put them on me and doesn't blame me if I don't stick it out. There's no obligation.



Update on the situation:

He came by last night and basically revealed that all his calls and antics are related to manipulating the outcome of the DV case. He's trying to say that if she lets it go to trial, he'll have to pay $25k for the lawyer. He says he has the money in a secret joint account with his dad that she never knew about, and that he was saving it for a house for them. And even tho that dream is over, he'd use the money to buy their son a trailer instead of the lawyer fees if she just helps him get the charge dropped. He's also saying that if he gets convicted there's a good chance of being put on house arrest which would land him back in their apartment 24/7 except for work.

I think he's lying about all of it, the money that he's dangling over her as well as the threat of getting placed back at home with her, the victim of the DV.

We want the charges read in but defer judgement. I think that would be the best case scenario because we keep record of his abuse for the custody courts and he gets to move on with his life.


Edited by Anonymous (02/02/23 05:15 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #4

Re: My gf keeps getting harassed by her ex [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28169560 - 02/02/23 05:46 PM (11 months, 19 days ago)

Deserve? I don’t use that term. She can bring a man to his breaking point and get the shit beat out of her. It doesn’t mean she deserves it.  And it doesn’t make the man that hit her less guilty of a crime. But the fact remains she still brought the dude to his breaking point, probably with the infidelity. You reap what you sow.  Mind the seed you are sowing right now very carefully.

Of course he’s lying. A secret bank account with his dad? Please….

If you drop that DV case your are just letting him get away to do it to someone else.

If he’s convicted he will have to see a counselor, by law.  The State will even pay for him to get counseling in hopes he will reform.

This dude reforming and developing some little amount of respect for this woman is your best chance of ever getting some civil level of cooperation from him.  Deep down he resents her. He does not respect her at all. This is readily apparent because he put his hands on her in a violent way.

My advice is to be highly skeptical of anything you are hearing second hand. You are this woman’s white knight at the moment so you have to understand she has an incentive to maintain your sympathy and her portrayal as a victim to keep you providing.

Fine don’t run.  Stick it out.  Get your pee pee sucked. I get it.

But you owe it to yourself to be skeptical.  Consider a light of skepticism on the situation, try to verify the reality she feeds you, look for things that don’t add up.  If you see any sign that you might have been misled you need to seriously consider the character of the person you are with.

Whatever you do, don’t wife this woman up.  Next you will be the one subsidizing her life with the next white knight she fancy’s.


As far as getting the guy to pay, seeking the advice of a lawyer will probably more than pay for itself in the end.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #5

Re: My gf keeps getting harassed by her ex [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #28172601 - 02/04/23 08:01 PM (11 months, 16 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #4 said:
My advice is to be highly skeptical of anything you are hearing second hand. You are this woman’s white knight at the moment so you have to understand she has an incentive to maintain your sympathy and her portrayal as a victim to keep you providing.





That right there is what OP needs to remember at all times when dealing with this woman


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: My gf keeps getting harassed by her ex [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #28173164 - 02/05/23 09:40 AM (11 months, 16 days ago)

Thanks guys. I am learning spanish but obviously it will be a while before I can verify much of what I overhear. And I'm taking everything she says with a grain of salt.

Like, last night when he came to pickup the kid she says the kid opened the building door and he came all the way into the apartment and was arguing for nearly an hour with her. Snatched her phone again and deleted a bunch of photos and messages. I guess to cover his ass? Then he reportedly poured out a beer on her or something. She drove over, ringing my bell a half dozen times while I was asleep to come in and tell me all of this. I wasn't sure how to react. Part of me is like oh poor baby he abused you again, another part is like wth get control of your kid, your phone, and your apartment and nothing like that would be happening. She says the kid unlocked her phone and gave it to him. Makes me think the story isn't 100% true or complete but I guess it doesn't matter that much either way. Going to install a privacy latch on the apartment door today and home camera system. She's accumulating what wasn't deleted to email the DV case manager today about the situation.

The financial issues are starting to come up now too. He was supposedly going to pay half of Feb rent but changed his mind now so her mom is going to help her. I've been relatively cautious about jumping in to 'save' her on the rent and other bills. She says she'll be able to pay for it all starting next month, but that remains to be determined if he starts screwing with the schedule more. This past week has been mostly predictable though.

At least the outcome of this situation will be a good representation of her character. She says she's not going to lie to help him through the DV case, but I'll be able to check all that in public records later to see exactly what she wrote in her statements. If she stays true through the DV and divorce cases I'll be feeling pretty good about her honesty and commitment. Whereas some relationships can go un-tested for a long time before you truly know someone.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #4

Re: My gf keeps getting harassed by her ex [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28173256 - 02/05/23 10:44 AM (11 months, 16 days ago)

Try to imaging how this woman would compliment your life.

Showing up in the middle of the night, pounding your door down battered and wet. Is that a compliment to your life?

If you dare.. Ask her what aspects of the failed relationship was her fault?  Pay close attention. Can she take responsibility for anything? Or is it just excuses on top of excuses?

I think her and the ex are still fucking, hopefully you are on the right track to figure that out for yourself…  He was probably at her apartment for a booty call…


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #5

Re: My gf keeps getting harassed by her ex [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #28173261 - 02/05/23 10:47 AM (11 months, 16 days ago)

You should totally bail her out on rent, keep fucking her, and later explain to her that that means she's a hooker
:leocheers:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: My gf keeps getting harassed by her ex [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #28173576 - 02/05/23 03:11 PM (11 months, 16 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #4 said:
Try to imaging how this woman would compliment your life.

Showing up in the middle of the night, pounding your door down battered and wet. Is that a compliment to your life?

If you dare.. Ask her what aspects of the failed relationship was her fault?  Pay close attention. Can she take responsibility for anything? Or is it just excuses on top of excuses?

I think her and the ex are still fucking, hopefully you are on the right track to figure that out for yourself…  He was probably at her apartment for a booty call…



I ask myself the same thing about how I compliment her life. Apparently for her it's the sex, patience, and kindness. For me it's her cooking, thoughtfulness, independence.

She feeds me every day which helps me a lot since my kitchen is almost entirely converted for cultivation. She's given me more stuff in the past month than anyone in my life. From her body, home, food, possessions, time, everything she has she shares with me. And she's so concerned with satisfying me that she comes up with back-up options. Like if I ask her for a pair of socks, she'll bring a second pair just in case I didn't like the first. Or she'll cook two meals just in case I didn't like the first. Stuff like that just blows my mind as above and beyond. I'll address her independence in a minute.

That's a good idea to ask her about her faults in her marriage. She's already admitted to some petty things like slashing a tire and putting bad-smelling stuff in his AC vents, put hot sauce in one of his hygiene items or something. But she doesn't talk about the actual marriage much.

Yea it's possible they're fucking but I do doubt it. I can't be there 24/7 though and it's just too much effort to be paranoid about something I can't control. Maybe the cameras will look out for me.

Quote:

Anonymous #5 said:
You should totally bail her out on rent, keep fucking her, and later explain to her that that means she's a hooker
:leocheers:



Her husband apparently did exactly that. For a while he was paying most of the bills and expected her to be his micro-peen butt slut on top of taking care of the kid and home. Her thoughtfulness and backup options were never enough for him. Aside from the cheating, one night he apparently drugged her and raped her. Since then she's been terrified of being dependent on him and has worked toward her financial independence in foresight of their separation. I feel like most women in her situation don't have the guts or energy to take back their independence but she's actually doing it. So she's really sensitive about accepting money from me, she barely lets me buy her lunch.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #5

Re: My gf keeps getting harassed by her ex [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28174657 - 02/06/23 09:46 AM (11 months, 15 days ago)

Cool, so being reminded that she's a hooker won't be a new thing for her
:fistbump:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: < Back | 1 | 2  [ show all ]

Shop: Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds   North Spore Injection Grain Bag   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Am I the asshole here? Silent retaliation for discontinued oral benefits
( 1 2 all )
Anonymous 578 20 02/09/23 07:17 AM
by Anonymous
* Ideas to find a lover.
( 1 2 3 all )
Anonymous 960 56 04/03/23 02:34 PM
by Kryptos

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Middleman, Shroomism, automan, yogabunny, CookieCrumbs
735 topic views. 0 members, 0 guests and 1 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.02 seconds spending 0.005 seconds on 14 queries.