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Anonymous #1

Ideas to find a lover.
    #28173768 - 02/05/23 05:51 PM (11 months, 16 days ago)

I have decided I need to meet someone.
I don't know how. I don't know where to go. I live in a small rural area. I am not a drinker, so I don't frequent bars. Where and how do I meet someone?
I don't need to fall in love, but I need a connection so I can have good, intimate sex. I don't want a one night stand, I want a consistent partner.
I dont' think I am unattractive. I have never been told I am or had difficulty.
Now I am very isolated.
But I am losing my damn mind... I cant keep going on like this.
Where do you meet people? How? Ideas please


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28173798 - 02/05/23 06:11 PM (11 months, 16 days ago)

Most people use dating apps. You may have to travel outside your town to find someone. Gatherings such as festivals and fairs are also decent places to meet people.


--------------------
"What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin

PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms:shroomeryhead:| Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm :tombstone: || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏                                                         
:sunny::bliss::mushroom2: Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise :mushroom2::bliss::sunny: :rainbowdrink: Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek :rainbowdrink: | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 | :cacti::bongload: Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! :shpongle:Shpongle:shpongle:   


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #28173834 - 02/05/23 06:44 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

I have attended concerts and such.
Festival is a good idea.
Idk about online dating..
I dont have a lot of experience with it .


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OfflineNJJXIII
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28173854 - 02/05/23 07:03 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

look to find someone you like in the places you enjoy, or places that sell things you enjoy. Like a hippie dippy store selling stones or something haha but like the previous post said, music festivals and such are the best places to meet new people. Concerts are good to find more local people. Just gotta get out there and break the ice haha


--------------------


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: NJJXIII] * 1
    #28173866 - 02/05/23 07:09 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

I was married for 20+ years and I don't know how to approach people.
I have received some feedback from men that said I am intimidating and I don't why. I asked one guy that I dated for awhile and he said that he felt that if he dated me he needed to bring his "A" game.
I dont feel like that is a negative thing. If it is I may need it explained so I have a better understanding.
I recently received feedback from a friend that said I appear intense which may be intimidating.
I dont know.. so now I feel a little insecure.


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OfflineMarkamello
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #28173986 - 02/05/23 08:47 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

Sounds like you're hot.
Post a pic.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Markamello]
    #28174086 - 02/05/23 09:25 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

I am not going to post a picture.
Hot varies person to person. I may be hot to one and to 10 others I am not.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28174229 - 02/05/23 10:40 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

Sounds like you're very physically attractive, perhaps even tall, which can intimate men.

But yeah, any social event is good to meet guys. Yoga classes, cycling cycles even weight lifting classses are a good idea. Theres some YT channels that go into "modern dating". I suggest looking those videos.


--------------------
"What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin

PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms:shroomeryhead:| Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm :tombstone: || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏                                                         
:sunny::bliss::mushroom2: Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise :mushroom2::bliss::sunny: :rainbowdrink: Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek :rainbowdrink: | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 | :cacti::bongload: Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! :shpongle:Shpongle:shpongle:   


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #28174237 - 02/05/23 11:02 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

I'm 5ft 6-7
I go to the gym 6 days a week. I dont talk to people, I am in my zone. Its really what I love about the gym the most.
I dont know if I am attractive or not.
I think only one person on here knows what I look like.
YT? I am unfamiliar with that., what is it?
I feel like I need to learn how to flirt,etc.
I speak to men but I don't know how..it's been a LONG time.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28174242 - 02/05/23 11:06 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

Gotcha. Usually people know if they are attractive :strokebeard: the general rule is you have symmerical facial features, nice teeth, healthy hair, etc and perhaps look similar to a celeb or model.

YT is YouTube. Lots of great videos on there.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #28174250 - 02/05/23 11:18 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

I know I am attractive. Level of my attraction is based on someone elses personal preference. I just think its arrogant to say I am.
I have never had problems in that area.
I will check out youtube.
I am just soooooo frustrated.
I am sure ai could go have a one night stand.. but I crave intimacy and a partner I can trust to have a good sexual experience.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28174270 - 02/05/23 11:47 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

Gotcha. Sounds like you are a demisexual, which means you like to take things slowly before having sex with someone.

Joyanima is one of my favorite Youtubers on dating advice. Check her out. Its made for guys but she explains a lot from the woman's perspective so Im sure that will be helpful to you:



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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #28174503 - 02/06/23 07:37 AM (11 months, 15 days ago)

I have to have a connection with them. If I don't Im not attracted to them. I'm attracted to their intelligence, personality & need an emotional connection. Not be in love but respect,  friendship, etc
Hence why I don't do one night stands. And looks aren't extremely important to me. Somewhat- I don't want to be not attracted to them. But them as a person I find attractive then it turns sexual.


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OfflineB Traven
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28174752 - 02/06/23 11:03 AM (11 months, 15 days ago)

Sounds like you have two separate but related issues, given your current situation and preferences.

First of all, you need to get out and meet more people in order to have any hope of finding someone to develop a sexual relationship with. That's time-consuming and requires effort- finding things you'd enjoy getting into that would, as an aside, involve meeting potential partners. Since you don't do one-night stands and it sounds like you REALLY want to get to know someone before thinking about pursuing anything else with them, this seems like yoir best option. It really doesn't sound like a typical "dating" structure, or any sort of pick-up/lonely hearts scene, is really going to work for you.

Second of all, you need to overcome the barrier of your "intimidating" potential partners, and just not really knowing how you want to approach them. I think this is pretty straightforward, really. I think you could probably say something similar to what you did in your initial post, with a relatively direct indication that the guy you're talking to is on your mind as a potential candidate. Nine times out of ten, when guys are "intimidated" by an attractive, intense, and somewhat introverted woman, it just means that they really really want to fuck her, but feel like their filthy thoughts would get them slapped or summarily rejected if they stopped self-censoring. A direct invitation to give it a shot is often all they need to break the ice.


--------------------
Beware of advice- even this.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: B Traven]
    #28174788 - 02/06/23 11:31 AM (11 months, 15 days ago)

Great advice there :thumbup:

Since you are demisexual Annon #1, aka wants to take things slow before attraction comes on, the flirting by you will be later on in a relationship. Because of this, you may find it difficult to "know" how to flirt and it maybe difficult to keep some guys interested in you. However, if you find a demisexual guy (somewhat rare), you will have a good shot at finding a partner and falling in love.

I once knew a demisexual woman and she turned down a lot guys because most guys want something quick. However, she did like me as i am somewhat demisexual myself. That was a nice but short relationship. She moved pretty far away and that was how it ended sadly.

So my advice if you do online dating websites, look for guys who mention "taking things slow" in some form and you may just get luckily with finding someone.


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OfflineAbombs
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #28175256 - 02/06/23 06:53 PM (11 months, 14 days ago)

A combination of things. Start doing what makes you happy. A hobby a sport a something. Then use tinder to meet people. Don't put too much in the description and a very easy going pic nothing intimidating you may think you look amazing in your designer outfits. But many men see that as intimidating. And don't include your career, title, or education.

Casual discussion turns to casual dates. Turns to serious relationships.

Tinder doesnt have to be gross.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: B Traven]
    #28175360 - 02/06/23 07:50 PM (11 months, 14 days ago)

Yes! Thank you


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #28175364 - 02/06/23 07:50 PM (11 months, 14 days ago)

Quote:

LogicaL Chaos said:
Great advice there :thumbup:

Since you are demisexual Annon #1, aka wants to take things slow before attraction comes on, the flirting by you will be later on in a relationship. Because of this, you may find it difficult to "know" how to flirt and it maybe difficult to keep some guys interested in you. However, if you find a demisexual guy (somewhat rare), you will have a good shot at finding a partner and falling in love.

I once knew a demisexual woman and she turned down a lot guys because most guys want something quick. However, she did like me as i am somewhat demisexual myself. That was a nice but short relationship. She moved pretty far away and that was how it ended sadly.

So my advice if you do online dating websites, look for guys who mention "taking things slow" in some form and you may just get luckily with finding someone.




Spot on


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Abombs]
    #28175366 - 02/06/23 07:52 PM (11 months, 14 days ago)

Quote:

Abombs said:
A combination of things. Start doing what makes you happy. A hobby a sport a something. Then use tinder to meet people. Don't put too much in the description and a very easy going pic nothing intimidating you may think you look amazing in your designer outfits. But many men see that as intimidating. And don't include your career, title, or education.

Casual discussion turns to casual dates. Turns to serious relationships.

Tinder doesnt have to be gross.




Thank you
Usually I get turned off by the dick pics ... and I bail.
Ill try again
I never discuss my job


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: B Traven] * 1
    #28175370 - 02/06/23 07:55 PM (11 months, 14 days ago)

Quote:

B Traven said:
Sounds like you have two separate but related issues, given your current situation and preferences.

First of all, you need to get out and meet more people in order to have any hope of finding someone to develop a sexual relationship with. That's time-consuming and requires effort- finding things you'd enjoy getting into that would, as an aside, involve meeting potential partners. Since you don't do one-night stands and it sounds like you REALLY want to get to know someone before thinking about pursuing anything else with them, this seems like yoir best option. It really doesn't sound like a typical "dating" structure, or any sort of pick-up/lonely hearts scene, is really going to work for you.

Second of all, you need to overcome the barrier of your "intimidating" potential partners, and just not really knowing how you want to approach them. I think this is pretty straightforward, really. I think you could probably say something similar to what you did in your initial post, with a relatively direct indication that the guy you're talking to is on your mind as a potential candidate. Nine times out of ten, when guys are "intimidated" by an attractive, intense, and somewhat introverted woman, it just means that they really really want to fuck her, but feel like their filthy thoughts would get them slapped or summarily rejected if they stopped self-censoring. A direct invitation to give it a shot is often all they need to break the ice.




You are so correct
Thank you
I become attracted after I get to know them.
Few people understand.
I end up with amazing people that my friends don't find aesthetically pleasing. But to me they are HOT because of their personality. It's just the way I am.
Don't get me wrong I am attracted to hot guys too but to sleep with one I need more.
Ive had casual sex
But it's not satisfying to me.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28175374 - 02/06/23 07:57 PM (11 months, 14 days ago)

Seriously
Thank you
I just need to get out there
Try to flirt lol
Assert myself more

P.S.
I appreciate the comments SO much
It's extremely frustrating and causes me to not try.


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OfflineGlacia
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28175490 - 02/06/23 09:37 PM (11 months, 14 days ago)

Tinder. Hinge or Bumble if you want romance.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Glacia]
    #28175536 - 02/06/23 10:28 PM (11 months, 14 days ago)

Quote:

Glacia said:
Tinder. Hinge or Bumble if you want romance.



I'm not looking to fall in love
But I need to respect, like them so I can be attracted & trust them to have great sex


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OfflineJewstress
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28176280 - 02/07/23 01:41 PM (11 months, 14 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I have decided I need to meet someone.
I don't know how. I don't know where to go. I live in a small rural area. I am not a drinker, so I don't frequent bars. Where and how do I meet someone?
I don't need to fall in love, but I need a connection so I can have good, intimate sex. I don't want a one night stand, I want a consistent partner.
I dont' think I am unattractive. I have never been told I am or had difficulty.
Now I am very isolated.
But I am losing my damn mind... I cant keep going on like this.
Where do you meet people? How? Ideas please




Hi I’m heather. I’m empathize with this sentiment and unless forced, wrangled, or missing my kids too much I live the same way with same desires.

Only issue is I’m just the girl with the laptop, the citizen soldier, and I don’t wanna drag just anyone into my life either now because of that.


But don’t worry I’m still laughing up at all Of you from Hell


--------------------


😇


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OfflineJewstress
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Registered: 03/21/19
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28176284 - 02/07/23 01:42 PM (11 months, 14 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I know I am attractive. Level of my attraction is based on someone elses personal preference. I just think its arrogant to say I am.
I have never had problems in that area.
I will check out youtube.
I am just soooooo frustrated.
I am sure ai could go have a one night stand.. but I crave intimacy and a partner I can trust to have a good sexual experience.




AI is good at those only these days
Hearth work is key


--------------------


😇


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Jewstress]
    #28176859 - 02/07/23 09:38 PM (11 months, 13 days ago)

Quote:

Jewstress said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I have decided I need to meet someone.
I don't know how. I don't know where to go. I live in a small rural area. I am not a drinker, so I don't frequent bars. Where and how do I meet someone?
I don't need to fall in love, but I need a connection so I can have good, intimate sex. I don't want a one night stand, I want a consistent partner.
I dont' think I am unattractive. I have never been told I am or had difficulty.
Now I am very isolated.
But I am losing my damn mind... I cant keep going on like this.
Where do you meet people? How? Ideas please




Hi I’m heather. I’m empathize with this sentiment and unless forced, wrangled, or missing my kids too much I live the same way with same desires.

Only issue is I’m just the girl with the laptop, the citizen soldier, and I don’t wanna drag just anyone into my life either now because of that.


But don’t worry I’m still laughing up at all Of you from Hell




THANK YOU!!!
I often feel like it is just me as all my peers are searching for true love or one night stands.
Thank you... I appreciate your comment.
I cannot begin to describe how frustrated I am, sexually and emotionally.. I mean by lack of intimacy, an emotional and physical.
I have the same issue with the laptop... I dont meet people in person .
And I am finding that online I am either to trusting or not at all which inhibits me from moving past a hello how are you stage. And I hate the fucking dick pics... that is so weird to me.. I dont even know you but I know your dick...
I'll pass  LOL


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Anonymous #2

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28183400 - 02/12/23 05:12 AM (11 months, 9 days ago)

Find board game clubs. Maybe look into cosplay.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28184258 - 02/12/23 03:44 PM (11 months, 9 days ago)

Interesting.
That may be an adventure.
Thank you


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Anonymous #2

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28184948 - 02/13/23 03:21 AM (11 months, 8 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Interesting.
That may be an adventure.
Thank you



You're welcome. Don't be afraid to pick up someone (legal) far younger than you. It's often very appreciated and it'll bring in a certain dynamism and uncomplicated perspective.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28185199 - 02/13/23 09:42 AM (11 months, 8 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Interesting.
That may be an adventure.
Thank you



You're welcome. Don't be afraid to pick up someone (legal) far younger than you. It's often very appreciated and it'll bring in a certain dynamism and uncomplicated perspective.




I have never successfully dated anyone a lot younger. I dated an attorney that was probably 15 years younger then me. I liked him but not as much as he liked me so I cut it off. Sexually... wow.. it was awesome. And it was fun. Other than work, I didn't have much in common with him. I had grown adult children and he had no kids.
But to be fair.. I didn't give it much of a chance. He had asked me to move with him and it was way to fast for me and I slowly backed away.
What age gap is a good age gap? I have gotten hit on by younger men, older, men my age. I am not opposed.
What is a good age gap? It feels like it would depend on the person.
I cant see myself with someone younger then 30.. I turn 50 in 3 months.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28188047 - 02/15/23 02:43 AM (11 months, 6 days ago)

Quote:

What age gap is a good age gap? I have gotten hit on by younger men, older, men my age. I am not opposed.




Well you're currently looking more for something 'intimate' than 'romantic', no? So it doesn't have to be a full-blown relationship so much as someone you can just kind of feel comfortable with and talk to. For something like that the tolerances are probably a bit wider because you don't need to commit to the fullest extent.
Since this is a drug forum, I gotta ask. How do drugs factor into your shtick? Because that too seems like something to think about.
Quote:

50



I think a 32-35yo would be quite happy to lavish some attention on you and get something of an alternative perspective in return.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28188402 - 02/15/23 09:54 AM (11 months, 6 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Quote:

What age gap is a good age gap? I have gotten hit on by younger men, older, men my age. I am not opposed.




Well you're currently looking more for something 'intimate' than 'romantic', no? So it doesn't have to be a full-blown relationship so much as someone you can just kind of feel comfortable with and talk to. For something like that the tolerances are probably a bit wider because you don't need to commit to the fullest extent.
Since this is a drug forum, I gotta ask. How do drugs factor into your shtick? Because that too seems like something to think about.
Quote:

50



I think a 32-35yo would be quite happy to lavish some attention on you and get something of an alternative perspective in return.



Maybe I need to change my perspective on it?


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28188406 - 02/15/23 09:57 AM (11 months, 6 days ago)

My insecurities tend to rise up some with younger men. I recognize as something I need to address.
I think I compare myself what I looked like at their age to now. And I don't look bad now... I just looked better then.
I understand its a me problem. BUT it does keep me away


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Anonymous #2

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28188994 - 02/15/23 04:30 PM (11 months, 6 days ago)

Yeah that makes a lot of sense to me, but that is also sort of part of why I suggested it to begin with. When you get with someone like that and push through the feeling the pay-off sense of continuous reaffirmation may (can't say will, but may) be very much a massive contributor towards a more pleasant mindstate and sex life. I've slept with people 30 years my senior before and while they weren't as good looking as I (arrogant to point out but w/e) their sheer appreciation and experience made it worth it. Conversely I used to be with someone 12 years younger and that too was just great. Age gaps have their pitfalls but for a hard reset they can be invaluable.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28193830 - 02/18/23 10:09 PM (11 months, 2 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Yeah that makes a lot of sense to me, but that is also sort of part of why I suggested it to begin with. When you get with someone like that and push through the feeling the pay-off sense of continuous reaffirmation may (can't say will, but may) be very much a massive contributor towards a more pleasant mindstate and sex life. I've slept with people 30 years my senior before and while they weren't as good looking as I (arrogant to point out but w/e) their sheer appreciation and experience made it worth it. Conversely I used to be with someone 12 years younger and that too was just great. Age gaps have their pitfalls but for a hard reset they can be invaluable.




I dated this attorney who was 30-32 never married and no kids. I was divorced and had three adult children. I resisted going out with him for awhile.. 18 months.
Then one weekend I was alone in the city and called him up and asked him to go dancing with me. It was SO much fun. I always had a great time with him.
But he made me insecure. Not by anything he did... he was a gentleman.
I knew him from work and we worked out at the same gym. And his body.. OH MY GOD... and I looked good. But I would get in my head, I was 46, had three kids, blah blah. Had he even been with someone like me before?
And he used to tell me I intimidated him and that he loved my confidence. But I still didnt get it.
Its kinda embarassing to even admit to.
I was ... dumb

But it is true.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28194050 - 02/19/23 03:23 AM (11 months, 2 days ago)

:grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin:
Oh... GOD
OP. I think... I think we are onto something here oh my lord.
:eek::bigjoint::headbang::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28194449 - 02/19/23 12:17 PM (11 months, 2 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
:grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin:
Oh... GOD
OP. I think... I think we are onto something here oh my lord.
:eek::bigjoint::headbang::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:



isn't that horrible that I self sabotaged it
It is true.. I did.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28194462 - 02/19/23 12:26 PM (11 months, 2 days ago)

I mean yes, of course it's horrible, but this isn't a "I missed out on marrying my highschool sweetheart because I didn't see their number written into my yearbook" (yes this is a shockingly common story) type of once in a lifetime type ultra dramatic type of missing out. You thought worse of yourself than you should've. You messed up a chance. That's bad. Yes. But now you know better.

Is it bad that an anonymous internet stranger had to tell you that? I mean. Maybe, but consider me simply a gift from the fungus.


On that note though, I gotta restate my question: What is your Thing, drug-wise? That'd influence where to look and how to look.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28194495 - 02/19/23 12:57 PM (11 months, 2 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
I mean yes, of course it's horrible, but this isn't a "I missed out on marrying my highschool sweetheart because I didn't see their number written into my yearbook" (yes this is a shockingly common story) type of once in a lifetime type ultra dramatic type of missing out. You thought worse of yourself than you should've. You messed up a chance. That's bad. Yes. But now you know better.

Is it bad that an anonymous internet stranger had to tell you that? I mean. Maybe, but consider me simply a gift from the fungus.


On that note though, I gotta restate my question: What is your Thing, drug-wise? That'd influence where to look and how to look.




I didn't need anyone to tell me. I was aware. There was more to it. He wouldn't me to move away with him etc.
I was not ready for that.
I was just disapointed in myself for being insecure.
i only use shrooms


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28194861 - 02/19/23 05:01 PM (11 months, 2 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Interesting.
That may be an adventure.
Thank you



You're welcome. Don't be afraid to pick up someone (legal) far younger than you. It's often very appreciated and it'll bring in a certain dynamism and uncomplicated perspective.




I have never successfully dated anyone a lot younger. I dated an attorney that was probably 15 years younger then me. I liked him but not as much as he liked me so I cut it off. Sexually... wow.. it was awesome. And it was fun. Other than work, I didn't have much in common with him. I had grown adult children and he had no kids.
But to be fair.. I didn't give it much of a chance. He had asked me to move with him and it was way to fast for me and I slowly backed away.
What age gap is a good age gap? I have gotten hit on by younger men, older, men my age. I am not opposed.
What is a good age gap? It feels like it would depend on the person.
I cant see myself with someone younger then 30.. I turn 50 in 3 months.




I’m 13 years older than my lady, and it seems to work out right for the most part. It takes a lot of patience some days. But all relationships do.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: vandago]
    #28194978 - 02/19/23 06:34 PM (11 months, 1 day ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Interesting.
That may be an adventure.
Thank you



You're welcome. Don't be afraid to pick up someone (legal) far younger than you. It's often very appreciated and it'll bring in a certain dynamism and uncomplicated perspective.




I have never successfully dated anyone a lot younger. I dated an attorney that was probably 15 years younger then me. I liked him but not as much as he liked me so I cut it off. Sexually... wow.. it was awesome. And it was fun. Other than work, I didn't have much in common with him. I had grown adult children and he had no kids.
But to be fair.. I didn't give it much of a chance. He had asked me to move with him and it was way to fast for me and I slowly backed away.
What age gap is a good age gap? I have gotten hit on by younger men, older, men my age. I am not opposed.
What is a good age gap? It feels like it would depend on the person.
I cant see myself with someone younger then 30.. I turn 50 in 3 months.




I’m 13 years older than my lady, and it seems to work out right for the most part. It takes a lot of patience some days. But all relationships do.



That is awesome
I love that you recognize that.


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Offlinerandom4932
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Registered: 03/03/23
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28233426 - 03/17/23 08:58 AM (10 months, 7 days ago)

Most importantly, you need to frequent places with like minded people.  My girlfriend found me at a meditation meetup.  Concerts, hiking groups, cooking, dancing, and other types of activities may attract the kind of people you would be interested in pursuing.

I would also suggest that as a woman, you make the effort to pursue the person you are interested in.  Inquire about their interests and drop hints about activities.  If they respond, suggest doing an activity or going somewhere with them.  If you are afraid to ask, simply drop hints.  If they respond, be bold and ask.


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OfflineKryptos
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: random4932]
    #28233924 - 03/17/23 03:40 PM (10 months, 7 days ago)

Back in college I had a surprising amount of success walking up to random girls I didn't know at parties and just asking "hey, wanna fuck?"


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28236915 - 03/19/23 04:32 PM (10 months, 5 days ago)

You would ask girls hey wanna fuck and they would say yes?
I am seeking something more


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OfflineKryptos
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28237916 - 03/20/23 10:47 AM (10 months, 4 days ago)

I always found it weird when girls would be like "I'm seeking a husband, so if you're not trying to get married, don't even talk to me"

I mean, I guess for some people the bar is so low that all they care about is a pulse and a ring, but for me I actually want to check compatibility first.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28241301 - 03/22/23 12:23 PM (10 months, 2 days ago)

I understand the I'm looking for a husband thing. I have never been that way but I do understand their point of view.
I just wanna live... be happy.. and have multiple orgasms...


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Anonymous #2

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Kryptos]
    #28250574 - 03/28/23 08:01 AM (9 months, 27 days ago)

Quote:

Kryptos said:
I always found it weird when girls would be like "I'm seeking a husband, so if you're not trying to get married, don't even talk to me"




The louder they say that the more fucked-up and empty relationships have they had in their past. Ditch them. They'll not put in the work.


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Registered: 09/20/08
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28256754 - 03/31/23 07:27 PM (9 months, 23 days ago)

Although my following remarks are directed at men seeking women, you might find some points interesting.

Beware of looking and searching and looking and searching and when you find someone you're interested in, you then focus on them.  Nothing is less attractive than a guy who doesn't have options.   Interact and date more than one woman. 

If you treat a woman like a celebrity, she will treat you like a fan.  Don't believe the Hallmark movies.  Branch out.  Spread your wings. 

Do not be too direct.  Leave some things to the imagination. Seduction works by filling a void inside - fulfilling a dream or fantasy.  Get to know what makes her tick. What frightens her.  What excites her. 

Your absence is important.  It provides space for her to breathe.  And imagine.  And anticipate the next encounter. 

Never ever adopt the belief there is one special person out there that's a perfect match - or even a near perfect match. 

Avoid routine and familiarity.  Mix things up.  Don't always feel the need to talk and fill the airwaves.  Silence is golden.  Nobody wants to be with someone who is uncomfortable with silence.  Use eye contact.

(BTW there are some great YT videos about how to break the ice)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28257332 - 04/01/23 09:01 AM (9 months, 23 days ago)

I rarely leave my normal routine. So I dont meet new people.
I did last week, went to a conference.
I met no one because I went to my room right after everything ended. Everyone was drinking, I knew no one. I dont drink. I went to my room and then a movie.
I am seeing that I need to work on my social skills . I am to comfortable .
It was also weird.. and I think this is a mid life thing
everyone looked so old to me..
I have some work to do on myself with socializing


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OfflineAbombs
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28258146 - 04/01/23 07:04 PM (9 months, 23 days ago)

Ya my social skills suck. Is there such a thing as a dating site for people with social anxiety


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28258354 - 04/01/23 09:52 PM (9 months, 22 days ago)

LOL
Then what do you do.. just message and never meet?
That is all my experience with meeting new people.. the anxiety kills me. Or I get SOOOOO insecure. To the point I just cant.. I cant meet them.


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OfflineAbombs
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28258379 - 04/01/23 10:00 PM (9 months, 22 days ago)

I quit trying to find someone. I'm turning into a hermit. Too much anxiety around it


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OfflineAbombs
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Abombs]
    #28258382 - 04/01/23 10:02 PM (9 months, 22 days ago)

Oh I dunno🥴 Just be around each other not talking much

If I had a solution to the problem it wouldn't be a problem


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28258884 - 04/02/23 09:31 AM (9 months, 22 days ago)

I understand completely


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OfflineMarkamello
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Abombs]
    #28259954 - 04/03/23 01:01 AM (9 months, 21 days ago)

Quote:

Abombs said:
Ya my social skills suck. Is there such a thing as a dating site for people with social anxiety




All dating apps have been specifically designed for people with social anxiety.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28260657 - 04/03/23 02:10 PM (9 months, 21 days ago)

Dating apps are weird to me....
Hey how are you?What are your interests? And then I get a dick pic... ewwww. no.


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OfflineKryptos
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28260686 - 04/03/23 02:34 PM (9 months, 21 days ago)

You're just not using them right. Although, demographics matter. A dude in their mid 30s is gonna have no problem on dating apps, as will a woman in their early 20s.

My formula is very simple: opener joke, they respond, I respond with something relevant setting up for the next response, they respond, I ask them out based on my previous set up.

Two thirds of the time, the woman will say something like "I wanna get to know you better first" at which point I next them because Im here for dates, not pen pals. A third of the time, I have something to do Saturday, and often Sunday as well.


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