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Anonymous #1
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: vandago]
#28194978 - 02/19/23 06:34 PM (11 months, 1 day ago) |
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vandago said:
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Anonymous #1 said:
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Anonymous #2 said:
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Anonymous #1 said: Interesting. That may be an adventure. Thank you
You're welcome. Don't be afraid to pick up someone (legal) far younger than you. It's often very appreciated and it'll bring in a certain dynamism and uncomplicated perspective.
I have never successfully dated anyone a lot younger. I dated an attorney that was probably 15 years younger then me. I liked him but not as much as he liked me so I cut it off. Sexually... wow.. it was awesome. And it was fun. Other than work, I didn't have much in common with him. I had grown adult children and he had no kids. But to be fair.. I didn't give it much of a chance. He had asked me to move with him and it was way to fast for me and I slowly backed away. What age gap is a good age gap? I have gotten hit on by younger men, older, men my age. I am not opposed. What is a good age gap? It feels like it would depend on the person. I cant see myself with someone younger then 30.. I turn 50 in 3 months.
I’m 13 years older than my lady, and it seems to work out right for the most part. It takes a lot of patience some days. But all relationships do.
That is awesome I love that you recognize that.
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random4932
Stranger
Registered: 03/03/23
Posts: 11
Last seen: 7 months, 23 days
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Most importantly, you need to frequent places with like minded people. My girlfriend found me at a meditation meetup. Concerts, hiking groups, cooking, dancing, and other types of activities may attract the kind of people you would be interested in pursuing.
I would also suggest that as a woman, you make the effort to pursue the person you are interested in. Inquire about their interests and drop hints about activities. If they respond, suggest doing an activity or going somewhere with them. If you are afraid to ask, simply drop hints. If they respond, be bold and ask.
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Kryptos
Stranger

Registered: 11/01/14
Posts: 12,262
Last seen: 21 minutes, 50 seconds
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: random4932]
#28233924 - 03/17/23 03:40 PM (10 months, 7 days ago) |
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Back in college I had a surprising amount of success walking up to random girls I didn't know at parties and just asking "hey, wanna fuck?"
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Anonymous #1
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You would ask girls hey wanna fuck and they would say yes? I am seeking something more
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Kryptos
Stranger

Registered: 11/01/14
Posts: 12,262
Last seen: 21 minutes, 50 seconds
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I always found it weird when girls would be like "I'm seeking a husband, so if you're not trying to get married, don't even talk to me"
I mean, I guess for some people the bar is so low that all they care about is a pulse and a ring, but for me I actually want to check compatibility first.
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Anonymous #1
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I understand the I'm looking for a husband thing. I have never been that way but I do understand their point of view. I just wanna live... be happy.. and have multiple orgasms...
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Kryptos]
#28250574 - 03/28/23 08:01 AM (9 months, 27 days ago) |
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Kryptos said: I always found it weird when girls would be like "I'm seeking a husband, so if you're not trying to get married, don't even talk to me"
The louder they say that the more fucked-up and empty relationships have they had in their past. Ditch them. They'll not put in the work.
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,014
Loc: USA
Last seen: 3 hours, 20 minutes
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Although my following remarks are directed at men seeking women, you might find some points interesting.
Beware of looking and searching and looking and searching and when you find someone you're interested in, you then focus on them. Nothing is less attractive than a guy who doesn't have options. Interact and date more than one woman.
If you treat a woman like a celebrity, she will treat you like a fan. Don't believe the Hallmark movies. Branch out. Spread your wings.
Do not be too direct. Leave some things to the imagination. Seduction works by filling a void inside - fulfilling a dream or fantasy. Get to know what makes her tick. What frightens her. What excites her.
Your absence is important. It provides space for her to breathe. And imagine. And anticipate the next encounter.
Never ever adopt the belief there is one special person out there that's a perfect match - or even a near perfect match.
Avoid routine and familiarity. Mix things up. Don't always feel the need to talk and fill the airwaves. Silence is golden. Nobody wants to be with someone who is uncomfortable with silence. Use eye contact.
(BTW there are some great YT videos about how to break the ice)
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Anonymous #1
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I rarely leave my normal routine. So I dont meet new people. I did last week, went to a conference. I met no one because I went to my room right after everything ended. Everyone was drinking, I knew no one. I dont drink. I went to my room and then a movie. I am seeing that I need to work on my social skills . I am to comfortable . It was also weird.. and I think this is a mid life thing everyone looked so old to me.. I have some work to do on myself with socializing
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Abombs
Chaotic Neutral



Registered: 08/17/21
Posts: 884
Last seen: 5 months, 22 days
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Ya my social skills suck. Is there such a thing as a dating site for people with social anxiety
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Anonymous #1
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LOL Then what do you do.. just message and never meet? That is all my experience with meeting new people.. the anxiety kills me. Or I get SOOOOO insecure. To the point I just cant.. I cant meet them.
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Abombs
Chaotic Neutral



Registered: 08/17/21
Posts: 884
Last seen: 5 months, 22 days
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I quit trying to find someone. I'm turning into a hermit. Too much anxiety around it
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Abombs
Chaotic Neutral



Registered: 08/17/21
Posts: 884
Last seen: 5 months, 22 days
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Abombs]
#28258382 - 04/01/23 10:02 PM (9 months, 22 days ago) |
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Oh I dunno🥴 Just be around each other not talking much
If I had a solution to the problem it wouldn't be a problem
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Anonymous #1
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I understand completely
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Markamello
Stranger


Registered: 04/13/20
Posts: 238
Last seen: 5 hours, 18 minutes
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Abombs]
#28259954 - 04/03/23 01:01 AM (9 months, 21 days ago) |
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Abombs said: Ya my social skills suck. Is there such a thing as a dating site for people with social anxiety
All dating apps have been specifically designed for people with social anxiety.
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Anonymous #1
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Dating apps are weird to me.... Hey how are you?What are your interests? And then I get a dick pic... ewwww. no.
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Kryptos
Stranger

Registered: 11/01/14
Posts: 12,262
Last seen: 21 minutes, 50 seconds
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You're just not using them right. Although, demographics matter. A dude in their mid 30s is gonna have no problem on dating apps, as will a woman in their early 20s.
My formula is very simple: opener joke, they respond, I respond with something relevant setting up for the next response, they respond, I ask them out based on my previous set up.
Two thirds of the time, the woman will say something like "I wanna get to know you better first" at which point I next them because Im here for dates, not pen pals. A third of the time, I have something to do Saturday, and often Sunday as well.
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