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Anonymous #1

Ideas to find a lover.
    #28173768 - 02/05/23 05:51 PM (11 months, 16 days ago)

I have decided I need to meet someone.
I don't know how. I don't know where to go. I live in a small rural area. I am not a drinker, so I don't frequent bars. Where and how do I meet someone?
I don't need to fall in love, but I need a connection so I can have good, intimate sex. I don't want a one night stand, I want a consistent partner.
I dont' think I am unattractive. I have never been told I am or had difficulty.
Now I am very isolated.
But I am losing my damn mind... I cant keep going on like this.
Where do you meet people? How? Ideas please


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28173798 - 02/05/23 06:11 PM (11 months, 16 days ago)

Most people use dating apps. You may have to travel outside your town to find someone. Gatherings such as festivals and fairs are also decent places to meet people.


--------------------
"What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin

PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms:shroomeryhead:| Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm :tombstone: || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏                                                         
:sunny::bliss::mushroom2: Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise :mushroom2::bliss::sunny: :rainbowdrink: Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek :rainbowdrink: | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 | :cacti::bongload: Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! :shpongle:Shpongle:shpongle:   


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #28173834 - 02/05/23 06:44 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

I have attended concerts and such.
Festival is a good idea.
Idk about online dating..
I dont have a lot of experience with it .


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OfflineNJJXIII
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28173854 - 02/05/23 07:03 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

look to find someone you like in the places you enjoy, or places that sell things you enjoy. Like a hippie dippy store selling stones or something haha but like the previous post said, music festivals and such are the best places to meet new people. Concerts are good to find more local people. Just gotta get out there and break the ice haha


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: NJJXIII] * 1
    #28173866 - 02/05/23 07:09 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

I was married for 20+ years and I don't know how to approach people.
I have received some feedback from men that said I am intimidating and I don't why. I asked one guy that I dated for awhile and he said that he felt that if he dated me he needed to bring his "A" game.
I dont feel like that is a negative thing. If it is I may need it explained so I have a better understanding.
I recently received feedback from a friend that said I appear intense which may be intimidating.
I dont know.. so now I feel a little insecure.


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OfflineMarkamello
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #28173986 - 02/05/23 08:47 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

Sounds like you're hot.
Post a pic.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Markamello]
    #28174086 - 02/05/23 09:25 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

I am not going to post a picture.
Hot varies person to person. I may be hot to one and to 10 others I am not.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28174229 - 02/05/23 10:40 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

Sounds like you're very physically attractive, perhaps even tall, which can intimate men.

But yeah, any social event is good to meet guys. Yoga classes, cycling cycles even weight lifting classses are a good idea. Theres some YT channels that go into "modern dating". I suggest looking those videos.


--------------------
"What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin

PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms:shroomeryhead:| Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm :tombstone: || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏                                                         
:sunny::bliss::mushroom2: Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise :mushroom2::bliss::sunny: :rainbowdrink: Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek :rainbowdrink: | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 | :cacti::bongload: Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! :shpongle:Shpongle:shpongle:   


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #28174237 - 02/05/23 11:02 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

I'm 5ft 6-7
I go to the gym 6 days a week. I dont talk to people, I am in my zone. Its really what I love about the gym the most.
I dont know if I am attractive or not.
I think only one person on here knows what I look like.
YT? I am unfamiliar with that., what is it?
I feel like I need to learn how to flirt,etc.
I speak to men but I don't know how..it's been a LONG time.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28174242 - 02/05/23 11:06 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

Gotcha. Usually people know if they are attractive :strokebeard: the general rule is you have symmerical facial features, nice teeth, healthy hair, etc and perhaps look similar to a celeb or model.

YT is YouTube. Lots of great videos on there.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #28174250 - 02/05/23 11:18 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

I know I am attractive. Level of my attraction is based on someone elses personal preference. I just think its arrogant to say I am.
I have never had problems in that area.
I will check out youtube.
I am just soooooo frustrated.
I am sure ai could go have a one night stand.. but I crave intimacy and a partner I can trust to have a good sexual experience.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28174270 - 02/05/23 11:47 PM (11 months, 15 days ago)

Gotcha. Sounds like you are a demisexual, which means you like to take things slowly before having sex with someone.

Joyanima is one of my favorite Youtubers on dating advice. Check her out. Its made for guys but she explains a lot from the woman's perspective so Im sure that will be helpful to you:



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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #28174503 - 02/06/23 07:37 AM (11 months, 15 days ago)

I have to have a connection with them. If I don't Im not attracted to them. I'm attracted to their intelligence, personality & need an emotional connection. Not be in love but respect,  friendship, etc
Hence why I don't do one night stands. And looks aren't extremely important to me. Somewhat- I don't want to be not attracted to them. But them as a person I find attractive then it turns sexual.


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OfflineB Traven
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28174752 - 02/06/23 11:03 AM (11 months, 15 days ago)

Sounds like you have two separate but related issues, given your current situation and preferences.

First of all, you need to get out and meet more people in order to have any hope of finding someone to develop a sexual relationship with. That's time-consuming and requires effort- finding things you'd enjoy getting into that would, as an aside, involve meeting potential partners. Since you don't do one-night stands and it sounds like you REALLY want to get to know someone before thinking about pursuing anything else with them, this seems like yoir best option. It really doesn't sound like a typical "dating" structure, or any sort of pick-up/lonely hearts scene, is really going to work for you.

Second of all, you need to overcome the barrier of your "intimidating" potential partners, and just not really knowing how you want to approach them. I think this is pretty straightforward, really. I think you could probably say something similar to what you did in your initial post, with a relatively direct indication that the guy you're talking to is on your mind as a potential candidate. Nine times out of ten, when guys are "intimidated" by an attractive, intense, and somewhat introverted woman, it just means that they really really want to fuck her, but feel like their filthy thoughts would get them slapped or summarily rejected if they stopped self-censoring. A direct invitation to give it a shot is often all they need to break the ice.


--------------------
Beware of advice- even this.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: B Traven]
    #28174788 - 02/06/23 11:31 AM (11 months, 15 days ago)

Great advice there :thumbup:

Since you are demisexual Annon #1, aka wants to take things slow before attraction comes on, the flirting by you will be later on in a relationship. Because of this, you may find it difficult to "know" how to flirt and it maybe difficult to keep some guys interested in you. However, if you find a demisexual guy (somewhat rare), you will have a good shot at finding a partner and falling in love.

I once knew a demisexual woman and she turned down a lot guys because most guys want something quick. However, she did like me as i am somewhat demisexual myself. That was a nice but short relationship. She moved pretty far away and that was how it ended sadly.

So my advice if you do online dating websites, look for guys who mention "taking things slow" in some form and you may just get luckily with finding someone.


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OfflineAbombs
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Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #28175256 - 02/06/23 06:53 PM (11 months, 14 days ago)

A combination of things. Start doing what makes you happy. A hobby a sport a something. Then use tinder to meet people. Don't put too much in the description and a very easy going pic nothing intimidating you may think you look amazing in your designer outfits. But many men see that as intimidating. And don't include your career, title, or education.

Casual discussion turns to casual dates. Turns to serious relationships.

Tinder doesnt have to be gross.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: B Traven]
    #28175360 - 02/06/23 07:50 PM (11 months, 14 days ago)

Yes! Thank you


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #28175364 - 02/06/23 07:50 PM (11 months, 14 days ago)

Quote:

LogicaL Chaos said:
Great advice there :thumbup:

Since you are demisexual Annon #1, aka wants to take things slow before attraction comes on, the flirting by you will be later on in a relationship. Because of this, you may find it difficult to "know" how to flirt and it maybe difficult to keep some guys interested in you. However, if you find a demisexual guy (somewhat rare), you will have a good shot at finding a partner and falling in love.

I once knew a demisexual woman and she turned down a lot guys because most guys want something quick. However, she did like me as i am somewhat demisexual myself. That was a nice but short relationship. She moved pretty far away and that was how it ended sadly.

So my advice if you do online dating websites, look for guys who mention "taking things slow" in some form and you may just get luckily with finding someone.




Spot on


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: Abombs]
    #28175366 - 02/06/23 07:52 PM (11 months, 14 days ago)

Quote:

Abombs said:
A combination of things. Start doing what makes you happy. A hobby a sport a something. Then use tinder to meet people. Don't put too much in the description and a very easy going pic nothing intimidating you may think you look amazing in your designer outfits. But many men see that as intimidating. And don't include your career, title, or education.

Casual discussion turns to casual dates. Turns to serious relationships.

Tinder doesnt have to be gross.




Thank you
Usually I get turned off by the dick pics ... and I bail.
Ill try again
I never discuss my job


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ideas to find a lover. [Re: B Traven] * 1
    #28175370 - 02/06/23 07:55 PM (11 months, 14 days ago)

Quote:

B Traven said:
Sounds like you have two separate but related issues, given your current situation and preferences.

First of all, you need to get out and meet more people in order to have any hope of finding someone to develop a sexual relationship with. That's time-consuming and requires effort- finding things you'd enjoy getting into that would, as an aside, involve meeting potential partners. Since you don't do one-night stands and it sounds like you REALLY want to get to know someone before thinking about pursuing anything else with them, this seems like yoir best option. It really doesn't sound like a typical "dating" structure, or any sort of pick-up/lonely hearts scene, is really going to work for you.

Second of all, you need to overcome the barrier of your "intimidating" potential partners, and just not really knowing how you want to approach them. I think this is pretty straightforward, really. I think you could probably say something similar to what you did in your initial post, with a relatively direct indication that the guy you're talking to is on your mind as a potential candidate. Nine times out of ten, when guys are "intimidated" by an attractive, intense, and somewhat introverted woman, it just means that they really really want to fuck her, but feel like their filthy thoughts would get them slapped or summarily rejected if they stopped self-censoring. A direct invitation to give it a shot is often all they need to break the ice.




You are so correct
Thank you
I become attracted after I get to know them.
Few people understand.
I end up with amazing people that my friends don't find aesthetically pleasing. But to me they are HOT because of their personality. It's just the way I am.
Don't get me wrong I am attracted to hot guys too but to sleep with one I need more.
Ive had casual sex
But it's not satisfying to me.


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