Last night (1/28) I ate an unknown amount. I apologize but my Walmart scale doesn’t read anything under 1g. I started off eating >1g of dried mushrooms. After a half hour or so, I felt them start to kick in and initially thought I would just be microdosing. So, after another half hour of it not really intensifying any more, I popped a few that I had put into the dehydrator right before I ate the dry ones. If they had all been dry, I would guess it would have been something like 1-1.5g, based on previous experiences. This was my 4th trip on shrooms.
At about an hour and a half into it, I felt it intensifying and decided it might be best to sit down and enjoy a movie. The sound effects and the talking, along with the chatter going on in my mind was too much. So, I turned it off and went to lay down in my bedroom. I wasn’t really getting much visually when the lights were on. Just faint geometric patterns without any bright colors. Yet, with the lights off, the patterns became more colorful. Pink, blue and green colors were all over. Faint, but bright, if that makes any sense.
When I closed my eyes it was a lot different. It’s like I was inside a huge dome and the inside was covered with bright, distinct geometric patterns of again pink, blue and green. The colors were flowing along the inside surface of the dome. In the middle of it was a huge vortex, also bright and colorful, yet semitransparent. It wasn’t spinning fast at all. Very slowly and peacefully. I felt mostly at peace.
I began reflecting on myself and my mind started going to some dark places. Thinking about my insecurities, my failures, my addictions, but I was able to snap out of it. I felt like I was being guided by some greater spirit or maybe even by god. [Im not a religious person, so Im not going to get preachy.] I really felt like I was able to think myself down to the core of my being and also really gain an understanding of god and it’s relationship to everything.
The messages that everything boiled down to were: • I’m a good person and I am loved. • I need to give more love to myself, my family, friends, and pretty much everyone around me. • god is everywhere, including inside of me. • the same goes for love, therefore god is love. • god needs my love just as much as I need it’s. • love is the most important part of the human experience.
My mind would start thinking about pain, desires, and all the if’s, and’s or but’s that I tend to attach to everything in life but it would very quickly snap back into being love-minded. I thought a lot about my mom, who I love very much but have held a good amount of resentment towards. It really hit me that although things weren’t perfect for me when I was growing up, she really did the best that she could for me (and my siblings). I realized that it’s my turn to do the best that I can for her, now that she’s elderly and somewhat limited to what she can do.
It was a mostly pleasant, but also an eye opening event for me. I took my initial dose at 10:30 PM and the last I remember, I was coming down at about 3:10 AM. I don’t know what time I fell asleep. Today, I just felt good. Pleasant and peaceful, and without bitterness. Which is something I normally feel at least slightly.
I’ll add s that for the past week I’ve been dealing with phantom smells. All day, every day I’ve smelled something along the lines of burning trash over everything else. I was afraid it might affect my trip, however it didn’t. The smell persisted throughout but it was less annoying than pre and post trip.
Thanks for reading.
-------------------- All Well
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