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Abombs
Chaotic Neutral



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6g blue meanie 1
#28144610 - 01/17/23 03:26 PM (1 year, 10 days ago) |
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January 16 -60 mins take Syrian rue extract wrapped up in rolling papers.
-40 mins grind 6 grams blue meanie and soak in lemon juice.
+00 mix 1 cup pasta sauce with mushroom powder. My favourite so far.
+35 put on my snowpants and related winter stuff grabbed a Dube and went for a walk I have an approximately 1 km trail through forests of different types and ages verging terrain. I walk often so I go. And we have had a decent amount of snow with few people packing it down. So Im smoking my Dube and I decide to start talking out loud about all the fantastical things I'm thinking. Like mythical creatures and how ancient history leaves an imprint on the land. Cursed or blessed. So I'm imagining ancient history 10 of thousands of years ago what could they have believed what rituals they did. There relationships with plant medicine and about how all these different indigenous countries world's apart use these medicines to understand and to experience these other states of consciousness and have a connection to the earth. or I don't know what. But this thinking went on for most of my walk but towards the end I find myself slipping on the uneven trail and my legs are getting really tired my fantastical train of thought gone. And Im just so physically and mentally tired I just sat down with my head down eyes closed for a few seconds but it felt more like I blacked out everything went quiet and then layed back in the deep snow and opened my eyes. And I felt reset like I could do anything now.
After maybe 30 seconds my dog licked my face and brought me back to reality. As I'm walking back to my house I think to myself this has been a good trip for some results.
Then I check my phone its only been an hour I'm in for a long night still.
Early in the night lying in bed
Looking up into the sky I could see an airplane but I ride my vision all the way to the airplane but my vision was a long spaghetti noodle. And when I got to the airplane there was a beautiful woman with glasses. And I ride the spaghetti noodle around the frames of her glasses and then zipped steadily away. As I'm leaving a man looks at me through the woman's airplane window puts his finger up to his mouth to say ssshhh and then pulls the blind down over the window.
At some point pennywise showed up creeping in with disturbing images and his face peek out around corners. I had just seen the movie that day the new ones chapter one and two. And my mind started to show me all these images and scenes from the movies. After this kept happening I decided I didn't want to go there so I got up.
Late in the night on the couch
Looking inside my mind to see little people everywhere pulling levers turning valves monitoring displays lots of flashing lights. Red lights flashing alarms. The people are scurrying everywhere there is shouting. The they all look up and notice me and they are pissed. Some of them come toward me yelling get out get out. And then I'm back on my couch saying what the fuck.
This isn't the first time I've looked inside my mind to see the very same environment but they have never noticed me before. One time I had a quick glimpse of the control room as I've started to compare it to. I had only enough time to identify some things then I was immediately gone from there.
The other time I had this experience I was wondering around my house as one does on large doses and I all of a sudden got confused and a little dizzy so I flopped down on my couch and when I hit the cushion I was immediately in the control room and alarms are blaring lights flashing but this time there's no little people manning the controls. After floating around for a bit and not being able to interact with anything I came back to my couch.
At some point I visualized a decrepit zombie in a window of a burning building. down to the last detail with close up of its decomposing facial features. And then I was the zombie fearing the fire behind me but also fealing my body decomposing.
A number of times while tripping I get the sensation that there is a light behind me. It happened on my walk a bit it was bright enough for me to believe there could be a headlight behind me. And it happened some more while lying in bed mid trip. But it was more intense like a spot light and I was having some pretty heavy auditory hallucinations (which I don't often have) it sounded like a pipe organ mixed with like rattling. After a while I start to turn my head to look at the light and I said "is that you God" and when I got no response I went back to laying there tripping.
Unfortunately at some point I went into some sort of confused state. My mind was incomprehensible thought and ideas and it was very disturbing and difficult much of this time was spent either vomiting bits of code. Thinking about vomiting code or some combination of lying down standing up attempting to leave the bathroom. While vomiting I start to associate the code in my vomit as the physical output of trying to express or understand being in these other worlds.
And there is this place I often go when I get this confusion cuz it actually has happened more than anyone should ever experience.
Its a big open white room and it's occupied by uncomfortable silence random doors that pop out for things to come and go. Sometimes it's a thing like a cookoo clock or little people. Sometimes the things I see in this place are ideas represented by abstract thought. Like gibberish math equations with the idea that it can convey ideas. Or a recurring one is 3 words that popped out of a door and found me and said bananas on a Tuesday.
While in this place I'm usually paralysed by the confusion I'm just left experiencing this place that I don't belong in that I don't understand and it's unsettling to the core. The dread I felt was a nightmare and at the time I swore it never do this to myself again. But I already anticipate the next trip in a few weeks.
I need to start preparing for trips like thinking about what to do when I'm in this crisis mode. I tried a couple things. But I didn't try going back outside and smoking another Dube. It was such a beauty night too. I find I often don't know what to do when I'm on mushrooms and Its very anxiety inducing to make a decision that will decide my state of mind for the next while.
At some point I put on YouTube and earlier in the evening I was listening to some shamanic drumming meditation to try and relax my mind for what was to come. So when I opened up YouTube my screen was complete mess of colors and jumbled letters. But one thumbnail caught my eye and I swear it was rainbow colours and said dmt across the screen. So I tap on it and it's this super thinky big thought thing about the universe and it just keeps talking in this calm state but in short burst of information of everchanging thought provoking sentences and phrases. About space time the universe the big bang thought nuclear weapons war. Conspiracy. And it just keeps feeding me this thought provoking dialog.
And now for the life of me I can't find it anywhere. But I did find this other video of this guy that just keeps talking and talking all these buzzwords related to business and tech and computers then discussions he had with other people and recent social media stuff. I listened to this guy while I wondered around my house talking with my hand and giving clever dialogue in response. By clever I mean I pretend it's clever with a stupid grin on my face making sounds like beeep beep boop boop.
And now I can't find this video either. I need to turn history back on in YouTube.
Like does YouTube have an algorithm that can tell your on something so presents these other videos and then takes them away cuz they are no use to sober people.
So much more happened but as always it starts to fade quickly. So many times I thought to myself I've got to record this tomorrow. Around the 5 hour mark I layed on my couch and put on the best show I've ever seen. Star trek Enterprise. I often put it on at the end of a trip. One time after a particularly hard trip I watched for 14 hours with only getting up a couple times to do bodily functions. But this time I only watched 2 hours and went to bed to listen to something I can't remember. I feel asleep for like 2 hours sometime in the early morning. But awake since.
I find it interesting how mushrooms make you forget your objective. At any moment whatever I'm doing I can just forget what I'm about to do and the more you try to remember the more you forget what your trying to remember.
The trip was really intense for about 5 hours. I think next time I will do a little less. I think I spent about 2 hours total in this crisis mode. I just remembered now I had a valium on hand and Ativan but despite that feeling I think I need to suffer a bit cuz I appreciate the challenge afterwards. Enduring something that most refuse to experience. I want the full experience. Not to slight anyone who chooses to smooth out or totally abort there trip. Like I said no one should have to endure that nightmare.
So I would love some feedback. Anyone have similar experiences advice. Questions. Counterpoint.
Edited by Abombs (01/17/23 03:56 PM)
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Hyebrid
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Re: 6g blue meanie [Re: Abombs]
#28144822 - 01/17/23 05:19 PM (1 year, 10 days ago) |
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If you're searching for that youtube video you can look through videos you previously watched (assuming you are logged in) by: -click on library -there is a history option where you can view all the videos you previously watched.
Sounds like when you went in your head, your brain was telling you to get out of your own head. If that isn't some sort of guidance, I don't know what is.
Were these blue meanies the cubensis version or the Panaeolus cyanescens version?
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Edited by Hyebrid (01/17/23 05:21 PM)
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Abombs
Chaotic Neutral



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Re: 6g blue meanie [Re: Hyebrid] 1
#28144852 - 01/17/23 05:33 PM (1 year, 10 days ago) |
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I think they Panaeolus cyanescens didn't think they look like cubes but I am awful at identifying mushrooms I can't figure out how to put up pictures
I can't go back in history cuz I have history turned off. Thanks though
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Hyebrid
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Re: 6g blue meanie [Re: Abombs]
#28144897 - 01/17/23 05:51 PM (1 year, 10 days ago) |
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Abombs
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Re: 6g blue meanie [Re: Abombs]
#28145714 - 01/18/23 10:14 AM (1 year, 10 days ago) |
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Hyebrid
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Re: 6g blue meanie [Re: Abombs]
#28145805 - 01/18/23 11:23 AM (1 year, 9 days ago) |
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Quote:
Abombs said:

Looks like panaeolus cyanescens in terms of how long and skinny they are, but the color is giving me cubensis vibes. I just started some Blue Meanies (Cubensis) in an agar dish as well as a pf tek jar a couple days ago.
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Abombs
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Re: 6g blue meanie [Re: Hyebrid]
#28146081 - 01/18/23 02:59 PM (1 year, 9 days ago) |
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Have you grown them before.? How are they compared to cubensis? I've grown one run of z strain. I enjoyed them but looking for more potency next time
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Hyebrid
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Re: 6g blue meanie [Re: Abombs]
#28146215 - 01/18/23 04:10 PM (1 year, 9 days ago) |
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Quote:
Abombs said: Have you grown them before.? How are they compared to cubensis? I've grown one run of z strain. I enjoyed them but looking for more potency next time
I just got into growing. My first grow is in process right now. Started off with a grow kit that sent me random spore syringes (Koh Samui Super Strain and Acadian Coast, Cubensis syringes). Decided I would have better luck with agar and liquid cultures instead, as I am told spores are inherently dirty and more prone to contamination. So now I have blue meanies (cubensis) and albino penis envy that I just inoculated 2 days ago. Acadian Coast is a novice strain in terms of growing and it's very mild trip from its description. I ate a handful and felt afterward that portabellos would have provided a more intense trip. Koh Samui SS on the other hand, is pretty resistant to contamination and was very pleasant to experience. Euphoric and visual with a stoic mild body high. Only got to level 2-3 but took very little to get there (1.5 grams).
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Edited by Hyebrid (01/18/23 04:12 PM)
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Abombs
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Re: 6g blue meanie [Re: Hyebrid] 1
#28147520 - 01/19/23 02:06 PM (1 year, 8 days ago) |
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Fantastic. I would like to groww one as potent as possible. Cuz mushroom material makes me feel nasty. Would probably make a tincture next time.
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Neurotech
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Re: 6g blue meanie [Re: Abombs]
#28147619 - 01/19/23 02:56 PM (1 year, 8 days ago) |
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Just a thought: Maybe you plan too much? The come up involved all sorts of ideas and thoughts that you came up with while sober. At least some, but it must have felt like "I hope I get a glimpse of these things when it hits". I find good results with an open minded attitude where I just say, "show me what I may see". There was alot of conflict in your experience, which could represent fear of loss of control (The "control room"?). I think people find that, under high doses especially, unpleasant trips happen when we resist them.
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Abombs
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I agree. But I haven't learned how to let my mind go.
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Neurotech
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Re: 6g blue meanie [Re: Abombs] 1
#28148783 - 01/20/23 11:10 AM (1 year, 8 days ago) |
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Maybe try to stay fully engaged instead, with the idea of paying attention wholeheartedy, and without preconceived notions or wishes.
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Abombs
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I'll keep that in mind. I appreciate the advice everyone. Its clear I have some things to learn if I want to have a higher chance of a successful trip.
Does anyone have something they do to push them over the edge to a breakthrough. It seems anything I have broke through doing is not effect of subsequent trips
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Neurotech
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Re: 6g blue meanie [Re: Abombs]
#28149082 - 01/20/23 02:21 PM (1 year, 7 days ago) |
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What do you mean by break through? And I find that each trip is different. Its not productive to expect trips to be the same. It's not like getting in a car and driving to your detination. Its getting like getting in psilocybin's spaceship and trusting that it knows where to go.
[embed=,]https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/db094dc7-6c8a-4458-8931-334d4310cdb6[/embed]
Edited by Neurotech (01/20/23 02:33 PM)
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Abombs
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I understand and I certainly dont do the same Thinf ever time. I'm slowly changing my trip
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