So, I have Treatment resistant depression (also extreme G.A.D. and S.A.D.) witch Spravato is supposed to help with. I know it's a dissociative and some people even compare it a psychedelic. I if I remember correctly esketamine is supposed to effect your brain/mind, basically, the same way that actual psychedelics are showing to do in clinical trials (for instance, psilocybin), colloquially known as a brain/mind "Reset". To anyone reading this... Have you taken Spravato for T.R.D.? Did it help you? Did it hurt you? I'm going to take the treatment regardless, but would you recommend this treatment? I'm scared to take this stuff ESPECIALLY since I also have to take an SSRI along with it. I was started on an SSRI (one that I have been prescribed before, and that didn't help me, at all... like all the rest) several weeks ago, but have stopped taking it b/c it makes me have much stronger suicidal thoughts and much worse, frequent and intense negative mind thought-loops... But they say I have to take SSRIs with the Spravato treatment. WHY?! They/the doctors know that SSRIs DO NOT WORK FOR ME (and all the other people that are going to take Spravato b/c THAT'S the fucking treatments we are resistant to) AND MOST OF THEM MAKE ME SUICIDAL, so It makes ZERO sense. Where is the logic?! Do people ALWAYS have to take SSRIs with Spravato?? I know that Ketamine (not a misspelling) can be prescribed ONLINE for people to take AT HOME (I'm sure you've seen the ads on IG and elsewhere). I will have to get dropped off or Uber to the doctors office for two hours each session (2 times a week for the first 2 [or maybe 4] weeks and then I take it less and less as the weeks go on until the treatment regiment ends) and then get a ride or Uber back to my house... I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE FUCKING Saris, period, and I do not want to take them with this medicine. I have not had a chance to talk to the doctor's about it yet (their at one of those behavioral health agencies [in Northwest Florida called "Life Management Center"], and let's just say if they are not funded by the state, they may as well be b/c they are fucking terrible in regards to communication, and help that they offer to people who have no money and/or health insurance [I fall into both categories]... Which is very, very little compared to the help I was getting where I used to live, and just all around in general too... But It's the ONLY place available for mental help That I know of for people like myself. Fuck, why is this so hard!!!).
I'm terrified that when I tell them that I have stopped taking the Saris, that they will halt the Spravato treatment And I will lose any semblance of hope I have left of possibly "getting better" and (as soon as my mother dies of cancer and I find new homes for the dog and cats, I will kill myself... But, whatever. I don't really know what else to say anymore. I'm really scared and I don't want my life to be over, but I can't live without any hope... I wonder if the Spravato doesn't work, or they tell me I can't take it without Saris... I wonder what would happen if I were to do the "same thing"/treatment regiment I would have done with esketamine, but with psilocybin? Not microdosing (I tried the Stamets regiment for basically a year, but didn't really feel much of an improvement in my mental health, so I kinda gave up), but every Monday and Friday take a typical macrodose (like 2 to 3 grams) by myself as I would have with esketamine? Has anyone tried that for mental health benefits? Well I might if it there's no other option, I donno. I'm don't know about anything anymore... Sorry for the rant/tangent. I just want to live again, not just exist in constant anxiety ridden fear and depression and I'm fucking god-damn terrified.
Thanks to all who read and to those who may give their thoughts and opinions on this. Much love.
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The doctor said my tolerance was too high for spravato and just gives me shots of ketamine.
I do believe it helps. I also believe it’s not a perma fix. There seems no end in sight, and having to disable functional behavior for 24 hours is hindering to my every day life.
The setting is pretty weird too. If the treatments were at home I’d expect better results, but the world is far from perfect. Personally I think they’re playing god, and taking what could be a beneficial experience caused by a chemical and putting the pride in the doctors hands. Personally I’d focus on more holistic ways to improve your psyche, especially for long term. It’s like a band aid on a deep wound. It may stop the blood, but in the mean time you gotta figure out how to become your own surgeon… if that makes sense.
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