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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,339
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@hummingbird My best friend is a man and I have slept in the same bed with him and we have never been sexual. I have never even considered it. He is my friend. I quit doing things like that when he got engaged then married .
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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,339
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Re: Stereotypes & Sexuality [Re: thelanzii]
#28105743 - 12/20/22 09:36 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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@thelanzil More power to ya, I dig it
What about the porn watchers did u not like?
They skip foreplay and just thrust.
I watch too much, currently working on that addiction but I feel overall it made me a lot more open minded for more
I am sure you are more open minded. But it takes away from the intimacy that allows you to feel safe enough to try new things, explore and enjoy it. My opinion
Probably would have never ate ass or put a foot in my mouth if it wasn't for porn lol Probably... probably for a lot of people.
What is it about porn that you like so much? Genuinely curious. I like it but it serves a purpose for me.
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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,339
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@logicalchaos
That is it. They are focused on their own pleasure and view women as sexual objects. There is no respect, intimacy or even trust. Because you are only there for his pleasure. Not someone I personally want to have sex with. The best part of sex to me is the intimacy and being able to trust and try new things. And someone interested in what you like and wanting to provide it. And vice versa. This is completely my opinion based on my own life experiences. I have no room in my life for not being respected, valued or desired by someone I am going to be intimate with. It is not what I am seeking or want. And I dont mean falling in love I mean respect, valued as a person and desired.
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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
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Re: Stereotypes & Sexuality [Re: loladoreen]
#28105749 - 12/20/22 09:43 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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I can definitely relate gotta have intimacy and connection for truly enjoyable sex to occur.
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,339
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@logicalchaos YES I mean you can go and be with someone and get off. Right? But when you have trust and intimacy.. it's amazing. And you can explore and it improves and gets better and better. .... I miss that sooo much.. so much.
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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
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Re: Stereotypes & Sexuality [Re: loladoreen] 1
#28105754 - 12/20/22 09:48 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Its a rare connection, in my experience. The right person, the right mood, the right feeling, the right night. All have to line up to really experience it....
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,339
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Agree.... Like yes and no though. If you don't rush then it happens or doesn't but usually it is worth it. I truly need an emotional connection. I have had sex without one but.. its .. its ok. I definetely don't prefer it. I think allowing yourself to be vulnerable is the key . Probably the most difficult for me, but I try.
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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Stereotypes & Sexuality [Re: loladoreen]
#28105791 - 12/20/22 10:11 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
loladoreen said: @hummingbird My best friend is a man and I have slept in the same bed with him and we have never been sexual. I have never even considered it. He is my friend. I quit doing things like that when he got engaged then married .
You may not have thought about it, but he definitely did; and if you flipped over and offered to bone, he would not have said "but you're my friend."
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,339
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No idea... never tried
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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
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thelanzii

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 5,434
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Re: Stereotypes & Sexuality [Re: loladoreen] 2
#28105959 - 12/20/22 11:59 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
loladoreen said: @thelanzil More power to ya, I dig it
What about the porn watchers did u not like?
They skip foreplay and just thrust.
I watch too much, currently working on that addiction but I feel overall it made me a lot more open minded for more
I am sure you are more open minded. But it takes away from the intimacy that allows you to feel safe enough to try new things, explore and enjoy it. My opinion
Probably would have never ate ass or put a foot in my mouth if it wasn't for porn lol Probably... probably for a lot of people.
What is it about porn that you like so much? Genuinely curious. I like it but it serves a purpose for me.
Quote:
loladoreen said: @thelanzil More power to ya, I dig it
What about the porn watchers did u not like?
They skip foreplay and just thrust.
I watch too much, currently working on that addiction but I feel overall it made me a lot more open minded for more
I am sure you are more open minded. But it takes away from the intimacy that allows you to feel safe enough to try new things, explore and enjoy it. My opinion
Probably would have never ate ass or put a foot in my mouth if it wasn't for porn lol Probably... probably for a lot of people.
What is it about porn that you like so much? Genuinely curious. I like it but it serves a purpose for me.
They skip foreplay and just thrust. Sounds like a shallow male thing in general
What is it about porn that you like so much? I work too much and in the process of a move that will make having a sex life a lot easier. Variety, each scene has a different flavor. It satisfies a need/want. I get unbearably horny without porn. Hopefully having one or multiple sexual partners will come about in my near future.
Porn at the end of the day feels fake and bad for the brain, and I enjoy real sex far more. Sex and the actions leading up to it is something that I want to be hours long. The last girl I was with said it felt like we were on a honeymoon because we would just lay in bed and have sex for days.
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,339
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Re: Stereotypes & Sexuality [Re: thelanzii]
#28105972 - 12/20/22 12:07 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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If this is offensive to you, don't answer it.I am just genuinely curious. Have you ever had any addiction or compulsive issues in your lifetime?
They skip foreplay and just thrust. Sounds like a shallow male thing in general- I agree. BUT do you think porn could intensify that male shallow behavior in some men?
What is it about porn that you like so much? I work too much and in the process of a move that will make having a sex life a lot easier. Variety, each scene has a different flavor. It satisfies a need/want. I get unbearably horny without porn. Hopefully having one or multiple sexual partners will come about in my near future.
That is intriguing to me. I never viewed it as variety.
Porn at the end of the day feels fake and bad for the brain, and I enjoy real sex far more. Sex and the actions leading up to it is something that I want to be hours long. The last girl I was with said it felt like we were on a honeymoon because we would just lay in bed and have sex for days.
Very interesting to me. Porn to me makes me feel lonely and more frustrated in a sense. Because it is me alone and I am lacking intimacy.
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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
Edited by loladoreen (12/20/22 12:12 PM)
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thelanzii

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 5,434
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Re: Stereotypes & Sexuality [Re: loladoreen]
#28106027 - 12/20/22 12:59 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Have you ever had any addiction or compulsive issues in your lifetime? Yes, drugs and porn
BUT do you think porn could intensify that shallow male behavior in some men?
Yes, depending on the type of porn. I think it is more of an overall societal influence, though. I grew up around a bunch of men who thought the idea of going down on a woman was pathetic and it didn't seem like they got this idea from porn.
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,339
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Re: Stereotypes & Sexuality [Re: thelanzii]
#28106050 - 12/20/22 01:16 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Yes, drugs and porn
Does your porn decrease when you have a sexual partner. I remember you said possible multiple partners. Do you have monogamous relationships? BTW No judgement I am on the fence with my own personal feelings on that subject.
Yes, depending on the type of porn. I think it is more of an overall societal influence, though. I grew up around a bunch of men who thought the idea of going down on a woman was pathetic and it didn't seem like they got this idea from porn.
Wow...how old are you? Why did you choose to be different? Are these to personal?
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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
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thelanzii

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 5,434
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Re: Stereotypes & Sexuality [Re: loladoreen]
#28106144 - 12/20/22 02:29 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Does your porn decrease when you have a sexual partner. I remember you said possible multiple partners. Do you have monogamous relationships? BTW No judgement I am on the fence with my own personal feelings on that subject.
Porn use definitely decreases; the urge is still there, though. I haven't been in love yet, so I am curious if the urge will fully go away with someone I deeply care about. I have only ever had a few monogamous relationships, never anything outside of that. I haven't developed my views on non-monogamous relationships yet. It adds a different dynamic and brings variety and new experiences. I am more open to the idea of a group as opposed to a couple being with other partners separately.
The urge for variety and new partners is bound to come up in any long-lasting relationship. I would prefer to have open communication about it as opposed to being dishonest and breaking trust and commitment. Wow...how old are you? Why did you choose to be different? Are these to personal? 28 As far as differing views - my family roots are pretty non-traditonal so I was always putting effort to fit in with my more traditionally raised friends.
Always viewed all the aspects of life in more depth. As one of my mentors has said a lot of people never get past the first few segments of maslows hierarchy. I also have a high appreciation for some of the women I have been in relationships with. Women I have given orgasms to seem to feel the orgasm far deeper than me ejaculating or having intimate sex and being part of that experience for them is fun, ego-boosting and meaningful to me.
none of this is too personal, were on a mushie forum exchanging thoughts and ideas
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,339
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Re: Stereotypes & Sexuality [Re: thelanzii]
#28106233 - 12/20/22 04:06 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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If you truly have an addiction to porn, and I made an educated guess. Your viewing of it would only decrease because your time is taken from being with another person. Know what I mean? It is a compulsion. You'll either replace it, continue it, it increases or you will address it. It will probably just change form but still be there.
I was raised really religious and it messed me up on my views on relationships, sex, marriage etc.. I was not true to myself but doing what I thought I was supposed to do. It was awful.
I had an open marriage the last couple years of my marriage. Different then most people, he wanted to know nothing and I told him nothing. He said go do what you gotta do, just don't tell me about it.We also had a sexless marriage. It fucked me up bad. It destroyed how I viewed myself. And when I started seeing other people I was literally shocked and in disbelief that other men found me attractive. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. I question monogamy, espeacilly after spending so much time with swingers. I just have a different view then I used to. And I despise the idea of people belonging to each other. I have had to challenge a lot of my own personal beliefs. I dont know if I would ever get married again. I am unsure if I truly even wanted to be super committed. I don't like the idea of having sex with someone and they are having sex with someone else and I dont know. But I dont know if I want a relationship where it is only one person. Not because I need variety. I just am not sure that is my happiness. Then I wonder what it will be like being 70 and alone.. you know.. Good for you when I was 28 I definately did not have a man trying to give me orgasams. Absolutely not. But I also think men have evolved and espeacilly some men my age. The ones that have opened their minds and allowed for personal growth become the best lovers. They enjoy the experience .. I think sex changes into an experience rather then a nut. And thats.... awesome!
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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
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