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Anonymous #1

will my online friend ever meet me?
    #28062669 - 11/21/22 03:08 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

i've known them for eleven years, and have talked everyday for the past three years.  they have seen pictures of me, know where i live, know how old i am.

i have never even seen a picture of him.  it is his timeframe, so i wonder, will we ever meet?

why not, isn't it time?


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Offlineschpat
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Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 3
    #28062725 - 11/21/22 04:19 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Have you talked to the person about your feelings?  That's probably a good place to start.


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Anonymous #2

Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: schpat] * 1
    #28062744 - 11/21/22 05:26 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

It depends on how far you are from each other. I would say this is a question you have to ask this person directly. If he/she say it is possible, make a plan. If either one of you have the means to go and meet the other you can make it happen. But I am confused with your use of pronouns. You mention them and also him. Is it one or more than one?


Edited by Anonymous (11/21/22 05:26 AM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #2] * 1
    #28062746 - 11/21/22 05:39 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

by them i mean him.

this person knows how i feel about him. 

he is older than me and has been married twice.  i just want to met him in person.

i asked him years ago about meeting, but he asked me to stop asking.  and i do not ask, because when i do he becomes suspicious.


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InvisibleBikerB
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Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #28062751 - 11/21/22 05:45 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
i've known them for eleven years, and have talked everyday for the past three years.  they have seen pictures of me, know where i live, know how old i am.

i have never even seen a picture of him.  it is his timeframe, so i wonder, will we ever meet?

why not, isn't it time?



I'm not sure what the biggest red flag is in all of this.

He doesn't want to meet you if it's been 11 years without so much as a picture.  If I were you, I'd move on and find someone who's truly available to you.  Good luck.


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Anonymous #3

Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #28062783 - 11/21/22 06:47 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Ask for dick pics that'll get things moving


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Anonymous #2

Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 3
    #28062938 - 11/21/22 09:01 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:

i asked him years ago about meeting, but he asked me to stop asking.  and i do not ask, because when i do he becomes suspicious.




That should be your clue. He doesn't want to meet in person. You have not seen a picture of him. He's been married twice. How many more red flags do you neeed in order to realize it will never happen?

Eleven years is a very long time. If you are happy with an online relationship consider it as such and it will never go beyond that. If that is not what you want is time to move on. With 8 billion people in the planet you should be able to find someone who is more serious.


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InvisibleBikerB
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Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #2] * 1
    #28063023 - 11/21/22 10:28 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Where do upu get that he's been married twice


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Anonymous #1

Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: BikerB]
    #28063336 - 11/21/22 01:47 PM (1 year, 2 months ago)

he told me he was married twice.


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Anonymous #1

Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28063340 - 11/21/22 01:49 PM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:

i asked him years ago about meeting, but he asked me to stop asking.  and i do not ask, because when i do he becomes suspicious.




That should be your clue. He doesn't want to meet in person. You have not seen a picture of him. He's been married twice. How many more red flags do you neeed in order to realize it will never happen?

Eleven years is a very long time. If you are happy with an online relationship consider it as such and it will never go beyond that. If that is not what you want is time to move on. With 8 billion people in the planet you should be able to find someone who is more serious.




i thought that maybe he didn't show me a picture, because he was afraid if i ever got upset with him i would show people his picture and tell them who he is.  so he has some paranoia.


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Anonymous #2

Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28063362 - 11/21/22 02:07 PM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:

i thought that maybe he didn't show me a picture, because he was afraid if i ever got upset with him i would show people his picture and tell them who he is.  so he has some paranoia.




That is only one of many more possibilities. He could be butt ugly, fat and old, he could be catfishing you for his own amusement....

He saw your pictures,  he knows where you live, how old you are, etc. Don't expect a relationship where you give all and he doesn't (you have already given him enough trust and he didn't give you any). You are wasting your time with this person.


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Anonymous #4

Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28063377 - 11/21/22 02:21 PM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:

i asked him years ago about meeting, but he asked me to stop asking.  and i do not ask, because when i do he becomes suspicious.




That should be your clue. He doesn't want to meet in person. You have not seen a picture of him. He's been married twice. How many more red flags do you neeed in order to realize it will never happen?

Eleven years is a very long time. If you are happy with an online relationship consider it as such and it will never go beyond that. If that is not what you want is time to move on. With 8 billion people in the planet you should be able to find someone who is more serious.




i thought that maybe he didn't show me a picture, because he was afraid if i ever got upset with him i would show people his picture and tell them who he is.  so he has some paranoia.




You need to give dude an ultimatum. Its been 11 years. If he knows all that about you its only fair you know who he is. That should have been the first couple weeks. If he won't verify himself with you hes probably a catfish.

He owes you at least as much as to video chat so you know hes not using stolen images and is who he says he is.


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InvisibleBikerB
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Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28063573 - 11/21/22 04:40 PM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
he told me he was married twice.



I'm a 0/10 on comprehension.  Sorry.


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InvisibleBikerB
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Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28063578 - 11/21/22 04:42 PM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:

i thought that maybe he didn't show me a picture, because he was afraid if i ever got upset with him i would show people his picture and tell them who he is.  so he has some paranoia.




That is only one of many more possibilities. He could be butt ugly, fat and old



Hey, hey, hey, it's not me!


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Anonymous #1

Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: BikerB]
    #28063627 - 11/21/22 05:00 PM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Quote:

BikerB said:
Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:

i thought that maybe he didn't show me a picture, because he was afraid if i ever got upset with him i would show people his picture and tell them who he is.  so he has some paranoia.




That is only one of many more possibilities. He could be butt ugly, fat and old



Hey, hey, hey, it's not me!




i can't help but be hopeful that it will happen someday. i've held on this long. i just wonder what could possibly make him not want to meet me.  he wld say, "it's not about me."

he is an older adult. i know that he is not fat or ugly.


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OfflineKryptos
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Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28063784 - 11/21/22 06:35 PM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Probably still married, and doesn't wanna fuck that up.


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Anonymous #1

Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Kryptos]
    #28063803 - 11/21/22 06:47 PM (1 year, 2 months ago)

he is not still married.

i do wonder where he had two unsuccessful marriages, if he thinks women are not worth the trouble.

he may besomeone that has become very set in their ways with age, but also has a freeness.

will he ever take a leap of faith?


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InvisibleBikerB
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Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #28063972 - 11/21/22 08:43 PM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Where are you located?  I'm not looking for love, but I'd be happy to meet you as a platonic friend, either online or irl.  You deserve better than you've received so far. 

You are a very worthy person and I wish you all the best!


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OfflineKryptos
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Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #28064008 - 11/21/22 09:00 PM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
he is not still married.

i do wonder where he had two unsuccessful marriages, if he thinks women are not worth the trouble.

he may besomeone that has become very set in their ways with age, but also has a freeness.

will he ever take a leap of faith?




I find it interesting that you have spent the entire thread defending the actions of someone that has refused to open up to you. You have come up with explanations for every red flag. Every possible concern could not be his fault.

Will he take a leap of faith? No, he won't. He hasn't in 11 years. He won't do it now. He has exactly what he wants from you. I'm guessing, an emotional tampon. Or maybe just a toy.

Honestly, my second guess after "dude is still married and using you as an emotional side piece", is that this is a pig butchering scam. You haven't sent him money, have ya?


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InvisibleLynnch
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Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28064137 - 11/21/22 09:53 PM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
will he ever take a leap of faith?



No.

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
i asked him years ago about meeting, but he asked me to stop asking.






What do you hope would happen if you met in person?


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Offlineschpat
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Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Lynnch] * 1
    #28066870 - 11/24/22 01:09 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

I obviously don't have the full picture that you do OP, but from what you have said this dude sounds like he is leeching energy from you.  He seems to be getting everything he want but not giving you what you need.  It's doesn't seem to be a symbiotic relationship but more of a parasitic one.

Just remember that there is opportunity cost to putting energy into this relationship* that will likely not have the outcome you desire. 

*A lot of people are assuming the relationship is romantic in nature, but you haven't actually said that.


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Offlinekoods
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Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: schpat] * 2
    #28068236 - 11/25/22 03:50 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

11 fucking years. Wow.

He doesn’t want to meet you. Clearly you get something out of the relationship. If you cant reset your expectations, you need to stop communicating


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Anonymous #1

Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: koods]
    #28080219 - 12/02/22 07:17 PM (1 year, 1 month ago)

thank you for the advice.

i would like to ask him to meet me.

he is hesitant, what strategies could i use to make him more comfortable with the idea of meeting me?

he is older, he has never met someone from the internet before.

thank you


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Offlinekoods
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Re: will my online friend ever meet me? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28080570 - 12/02/22 10:44 PM (1 year, 1 month ago)

He’s not hesitant. He’s not leading you on. He’s not playing games. He’s been very clear he doesn’t want to meet. Accept it, or move on.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


Edited by koods (12/02/22 10:45 PM)


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