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Anonymous #1

Relationships are hard
    #28033673 - 11/05/22 01:30 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

So this girl in my class likes me. I mean, she has all but said that she wants to suck my cock outright.
And I like her- we have things in common, and have hung out and we vibe. but I was totally caught off guard. She has a boyfriend, but it's not going well, I guess she's looking for a way out, I dunno. I hadn't considered her as a potential partner before, she's a lil thick, not dream girl status (which is fucking superficial, but it's how I feel) ...But I do get horny thinking about her so??
Thing is, there is another girl in this class. When I first saw her, I was blown away. I'm very interested, have been planning how I might approach her for awhile.. I don't know if she's interested in me, fuck, I don't even know if she's single? Hell, it would make things really simple if she wasn't.
At this point I'm stuck. If I make a move on one of them it fucks up the other and I really don't know. I've done all of this shit before.. I've left behind perfectly good relationships just because of a hint of some fantasy that's probably all in my head, and have fucked everything up and been left alone... ..but I've also been too much of a pussy to risk anything for what I really want, instead sticking with someone i'm not that into, until I can't take it anymore and hurt them by leaving suddenly.

It's impossible to know what the best choice is, it's all a potential, how do you decide???


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Offlineschpat
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Re: Relationships are hard [Re: Anonymous #1] * 3
    #28039536 - 11/08/22 02:04 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Ahh, to be young...

It's pretty simple from my aged point of view. 

What do you want?

If you just want to bone consider the consequences and bone (not highly recommended if you want a relationship).

If you want a relationship, I'll tell you that someone that wants a relationship with you is 1000 times better than a marginal increase in attractiveness.  You should talk to the first young lady about what she wants, see if you want the same thing.  If you do think you both want the same thing then ask her to end things with the BF first, much less messy that way.

This free advice is worth what you paid for it.


--------------------


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: Relationships are hard [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28041901 - 11/09/22 10:45 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:

It's impossible to know what the best choice is, it's all a potential, how do you decide???




At this stage, believing there's a "best choice" is harmful. Stop trying to speculate.  Explore all options and abandon any idea there is a best choice.  Consider you might be compatible with many people.  Get a few irons in the fire.  And don't believe it's "bad" if a relationship ends.  Life is research.

"If I make a move on one of them it fucks up the other and I really don't know."

Actually, having options makes you more attractive.  JSB taught me about that.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Relationships are hard [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #28042894 - 11/09/22 09:41 PM (1 year, 2 months ago)

That's kind of the problem, I'm not that young. If I were in my 20s I'd just throw my dick around and enjoy wherever it landed.
I'm at that point where if I want that wife an kids thing I have to get serious.. But I'm at this awkward place in life where I'm a decade behind my peers, just trying to finish a degree, trying to get stable... all while being surrounded by cute babes, and I've forgotten how to deal with the highschool drama.
Being old(er) means I'm constantly overthinking every decision and how it will it effect my future, and will this chick I haven't even fucked be a good mother to my children? :lol: It's dumb.

Quote:

schpat said:
I'll tell you that someone that wants a relationship with you is 1000 times better than a marginal increase in attractiveness. 



My dad always said that. It's good advice, I've always had a better time getting into a relationship that comes easily, rather than trying to convince someone to like me.

Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:
Consider you might be compatible with many people. 



Yea, that's a good reminder. Instead of getting stuck in "either-or" there are always more options, and more than one can be viable.

I guess I just want to be happy. I appreciate the responses.


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OfflineKryptos
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Re: Relationships are hard [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28043514 - 11/10/22 10:39 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I'm at that point where if I want that wife an kids thing I have to get serious..




This mindset almost never works out well. Puts too much pressure on yourself to find a wife and start making kids, and suddenly you're not looking for a relationship, you're looking for someone to fill the wife-shaped hole in your life.

I had a date this past summer with this girl, went really well, although she did say a few things I thought were a little odd. Then, over the next week, she texted me stuff like "If you had a diary, it would be my favorit book" and shit, which I thought was a bit weird. The following weekend, she asked to come over again, I said no because I had other plans (I did, with another girl). Next week was a bit quieter. Invited her over the following weekend, because she was pretty cool, and she said she already had a boyfriend.

Huh.

I hope it works out for them. She was in her mid 20s and already past her second divorce when we went out.


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InvisibleBikerB
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Re: Relationships are hard [Re: Kryptos]
    #28043591 - 11/10/22 11:37 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

The great thing about dating girls who cheat on their boyfriends with you is that you can be absolutely sure they'll cheat on you.  No wasting time wondering about it.


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OfflineKryptos
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Re: Relationships are hard [Re: BikerB]
    #28043607 - 11/10/22 11:50 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

I don't think she was cheating. I think she went from single to boyfriend in less than a week. Unless she scrubbed her Facebook specifically to meet me, because her Facebook went from just her, to her and some random dude going to a football game in a nearby town, and then hitting almost every single cliche romantic first date stop within an hour of the stadium.

Maybe she was cheating, in which case, eh. Fun weekend for me.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Relationships are hard [Re: Kryptos]
    #28044906 - 11/11/22 08:01 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Don’t go thinking you need to find “the one” so you can have kids in time. I did that and it ruined my life. If I could go back I would tell myself to be very careful about who I shared my DNA with. That person will be bound to you legally and will have a lot of control over your kids, more than you do to be honest. Quick sex is one thing but do not get a woman pregnant unless you are 100% sure. Nothing sadder in this world than wishing you made your kids with a better mom.

I should also add to be careful about protection. Do not allow her to supply the condoms, you supply them. Don’t let her put the condom on you, do it yourself. Don’t trust the rhythm method no matter how confident she seems in it. Do not trust birth control. Never fall for the faked positive pregnancy test where she then says we don’t need condoms cause she’s already pregnant. That shit for sure is a trap.


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InvisibleBikerB
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Re: Relationships are hard [Re: BikerB]
    #28048347 - 11/13/22 08:58 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Quote:

BikerB said:
The great thing about dating girls who cheat on their boyfriends with you is that you can be absolutely sure they'll cheat on you.  No wasting time wondering about it.




Sorry, that was meant for the OP.


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OfflineWhoManBeing
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Re: Relationships are hard [Re: BikerB]
    #28048350 - 11/13/22 09:03 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Heart


--------------------
Hip, hip... WhoRAy!!!

Eye was thinking the other day...  ahh, thinking never done me no good.



Edited by WhoManBeing (11/13/22 05:15 PM)


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OfflineKryptos
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Re: Relationships are hard [Re: BikerB]
    #28048971 - 11/13/22 02:25 PM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Quote:

BikerB said:
Quote:

BikerB said:
The great thing about dating girls who cheat on their boyfriends with you is that you can be absolutely sure they'll cheat on you.  No wasting time wondering about it.




Sorry, that was meant for the OP.




Oh, my bad, I completely misread that.

Yeah, OP, if she's got a boyfriend and she's trying to suck your dick, then guess what she's gonna be doing while you're the boyfriend?


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Anonymous #1

Re: Relationships are hard [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28050385 - 11/14/22 10:15 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

Update: I hooked up with the chick who likes me. She was begging for it :lol: One thing I should add is that it's been years, like before the pandemic, since I've had any sort of relations. I've been pretty isolated (for lots of reasons, some self-imposed). ..So I guess I figured "fuck it", got to live life when you can.

Now the question is, what next?

The boyfriend/cheating thing doesn't bother me too much. I'm not sure I want to jump into a serious relationship anyway.
I don't think people cheat 'because they're cheaters', they have reasons. The impression I get is that their relationship was ending long before she met me. If we continue to hook up and she doesn't end it, I might change my judgement.

Anyway, it was fun. A nice reminder of a part of myself that I'd kept locked down for so long- I'm a lover. Sex is fun, but the cuddling/intimacy was even more relaxing/relieving.

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
...
I should also add to be careful about protection. Do not allow her to supply the condoms, you supply them. Don’t let her put the condom on you, do it yourself. Don’t trust the rhythm method no matter how confident she seems in it. Do not trust birth control. Never fall for the faked positive pregnancy test where she then says we don’t need condoms cause she’s already pregnant. That shit for sure is a trap.



Oh yea. Been there man. After some close calls, I had a rule not to stick my dick in crazy/not have sex with anyone I couldn't imagine marrying.. which meant never hooking up with anyone :lol: But I gotta say, I trust birth control way more than I trust condoms. If I can't trust her to not lie about BC, then I'm just not going to fuck her.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Relationships are hard [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28050417 - 11/14/22 10:29 AM (1 year, 2 months ago)

How long do you need to know someone before you trust them? You know how easy it is for a woman to lie about taking birth control? Hell all she needs to do is decide she didn’t like the performance and a consensual act becomes rapey. Armed with your bodily fluids she could easily get you put away. Condoms are not just birth control, not just STD protection. Play how you want but giving someone else your dna is a big deal and you better trust them with your life and freedom cause that’s the power they will then hold.

I thought I could trust my ex. I had no idea how manipulative she could be and appear super innocent at the same time. Good luck man.


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