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Anonymous #1

Living with partner who doesn’t use weed
    #27993732 - 10/11/22 01:08 PM (1 year, 3 months ago)

Hey all, I recently started to vape herb 2-3 times a week, medically, it helps me with my chronic depression and anxiety and it gives me a welcome break from my docs meds’ side effects, and sometimes helps me sleep. I usually meditate for a couple of hours before bed when I get high, and it’s this that benefits me the most and helps me gain a more healthy perspective on life. In short, this has been the best personal thing I’ve taken up to improve my quality of life.

We are about to start living together, and although she fully understands and even supports me using it whenever I feel the need, bearing in mind that I meditate (zone out) for at least 2 hours before bed, I can’t help but feel guilty at the prospect of me getting stoned around her when we ought to be enjoying each other’s company on an evening. I’m a very self conscious person, and I don’t want to ruin both my relationship and the benefits I get from weed.
In a totally ideal world I’d have a separate room to meditate in privately while vaping 2-3 times a week, while she does her thing! I love her to bits but I’m scared of essentially losing the best medicine I have, but don’t know how to compromise as I love her to pieces!
Any comments or ideas?


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Anonymous #2

Re: Living with partner who doesn’t use weed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27994889 - 10/12/22 09:01 AM (1 year, 3 months ago)

Yeah hang out with your girlfriend while your stoned


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Anonymous #1

Re: Living with partner who doesn’t use weed [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #27994907 - 10/12/22 09:16 AM (1 year, 3 months ago)

My point is that I don’t wanna talk, hang out or be around anyone when I’m vaping. I meditate, that’s the only (big benefit I get from weed, in terms of my mental health.
As an introvert I’m extremely self-conscious of being around others when I’m high, I actually hate it lol. I’m very introspective and weed enables an extremely deep introspection. From the outside, I imagine, I probably just look monged out. 😂
I don’t really want her to see that, for both our sakes.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Living with partner who doesn’t use weed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27995205 - 10/12/22 12:54 PM (1 year, 3 months ago)

Thats a tough one. I think if you lay out a vaping-meditating plan for her and make sure you make quality time with her, it should work out.


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Anonymous #4

Re: Living with partner who doesn’t use weed [Re: Anonymous #3] * 2
    #27995317 - 10/12/22 01:56 PM (1 year, 3 months ago)

If you aren’t comfortable revealing yourself, then maybe y’all should reconsider moving in together.  Honestly (from my anxious introvert perspective with 15years of marriage experience) there is going to be a whole host of things you see, hear, smell, feel and talk about that the other person does that you didn’t even think about; if smoking and meditating is your biggest hang up, then you’re home free.  Living together isn’t about conformity to the other person but sharing all of yourself with the other person, combining the good and helping each other with the not so good.  Here’s my thoughts on it:  Include them!  I know they don’t smoke, but spending time with someone (as you mentioned) doesn’t have to be about going and doing things or even talking (if they’ve never meditated then you’re going to have to let go of that talking barrier and teach). It could mean that becomes y’all’s thing which could ultimately bring the two of you closer.  Good luck


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Anonymous #1

Re: Living with partner who doesn’t use weed [Re: Anonymous #4] * 1
    #27995401 - 10/12/22 02:38 PM (1 year, 3 months ago)

Cheers! Forgot to add that I have lived with two different women prior to this, I just didn’t vape then.
Thank for the the replies!


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Anonymous #1

Re: Living with partner who doesn’t use weed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27995408 - 10/12/22 02:41 PM (1 year, 3 months ago)

On a positive note, I have explained this to her, and she does seem to think she would be fine with it, if it is of benefit to me and by default, our relationship. I’m a lucky guy.
But I’m worried the reality wouldn’t be as idillic.


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Anonymous #5

Re: Living with partner who doesn’t use weed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27996509 - 10/13/22 08:16 AM (1 year, 3 months ago)

Quick question,

Do you two plan on sharing a bathroom or will you have multiple bathrooms with each having at least one personal bathroom the other doesn't use?


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Anonymous #6

Re: Living with partner who doesn’t use weed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27996812 - 10/13/22 12:38 PM (1 year, 3 months ago)

IMO the idea that you need a minimum of 2 whole undisturbed hours all by yourself every single night is already a little much. It's not like you're working or doing something useful. Then, you need to increase that time every other day to get high? I'm gonna be real with you, there's no way you can maintain her feeling emotionally fulfilled doing this. Assuming at least one of you has a job and aren't old as shit then you don't leave enough time to be a couple except during the day on the weekend. She is going to eventually feel like you don't have enough time for her, because you don't. But you have enough time to sit around getting high by yourself watching the grass grow? You come home, get a shower, eat your dinner, do whatever chores you need done. How much time do you have there between that and getting high/doing nothing by yourself? This is exactly how she's going to feel over time. She's okay with it now because she's hoping you just need time to adjust. It will not last and will become a problem unless she's fine with spending time with other people instead of you. Where does that become extreme to the point you question your relationship? Good luck, you'll need it


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Anonymous #1

Re: Living with partner who doesn’t use weed [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #27996922 - 10/13/22 02:07 PM (1 year, 3 months ago)

One shared bathroom, why? 😂


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Anonymous #1

Re: Living with partner who doesn’t use weed [Re: Anonymous #6] * 1
    #27996933 - 10/13/22 02:14 PM (1 year, 3 months ago)

Well first of all it certainly isn’t every night. I’m not the sort of person who can get high daily.
And to your point of ‘not doing anything useful’ - IMO that is a little unfair. I have suffered my entire life with mental illness, and 95% of my life is balancing a fine line in order to stay in some semblance of control. Weed has improved this HUGELY and it’s improved my life so much.
I would class that as ‘useful’.

I’m fully understand your points, however you have simply highlighted my dilemma, again, please read the paragraph above this one.
I’m not some dumbass stoner that would rather get high than spend time with my love. Quite the opposite, I’m seeking opinions to help me work it out and thus, hopefully maximise my chance of the relationship being successful. Without the best medication I’ve found yet, it almost certainly would not be successful, unfortunately.


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Anonymous #6

Re: Living with partner who doesn’t use weed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27997040 - 10/13/22 03:37 PM (1 year, 3 months ago)

I don't care what you do and don't think you're special. Why I would give my opinion if I couldn't atleast relate, I don't know. I smoke weed, am in a LTR, have my own problems. Better you hear this from me than her. It's nothing useful from an outside perspective. You sit there, and literally do nothing. Every day, alone. It doesn't take a lot to see what I mean and I don't even care about you. I don't want to spend time with you. If you want advice then listen - the biggest critics in our lives with always be ourselves and the people closest to us. Maybe she's cool, I don't know. But a lot of women would need you to ween off of the habit over time. If she's really cool you should learn how to find comfort in her. But whatever, it's your life. Be defensive.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Living with partner who doesn’t use weed [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #27997148 - 10/13/22 04:40 PM (1 year, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #6 said:
IMO the idea that you need a minimum of 2 whole undisturbed hours all by yourself every single night is already a little much. It's not like you're working or doing something useful. Then, you need to increase that time every other day to get high? I'm gonna be real with you, there's no way you can maintain her feeling emotionally fulfilled doing this. Assuming at least one of you has a job and aren't old as shit then you don't leave enough time to be a couple except during the day on the weekend. She is going to eventually feel like you don't have enough time for her, because you don't. But you have enough time to sit around getting high by yourself watching the grass grow? You come home, get a shower, eat your dinner, do whatever chores you need done. How much time do you have there between that and getting high/doing nothing by yourself? This is exactly how she's going to feel over time. She's okay with it now because she's hoping you just need time to adjust. It will not last and will become a problem unless she's fine with spending time with other people instead of you. Where does that become extreme to the point you question your relationship? Good luck, you'll need it




To respond defensively about how you aren't a stoner who isn't going to be doing it everyday, what's the problem? 

Your post alludes to daily use, how frequently do you get high, honestly?
I think he may have hit a little close to home when explaining how "meditating" on weed for significant amounts of time instead of spending time with someone you should love is going to cause strain.  And if it doesn't, you are going to be stressed while meditating when your gf is always going out with other people because "you are watching the grass grow" 

Lmao sorry I love that line


Edited by Anonymous (10/13/22 04:41 PM)


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Anonymous #7

Re: Living with partner who doesn’t use weed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27997743 - 10/13/22 10:03 PM (1 year, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:

I usually meditate for a couple of hours before bed when I get high




Does the 2 hours seem like 5?

:1234go:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Living with partner who doesn’t use weed [Re: Anonymous #7] * 1
    #27997965 - 10/14/22 01:32 AM (1 year, 3 months ago)

My original post says 2-3 times a week, 3 times maximum, normally twice. 2 hours seems like 2 hours, between 9-11pm and it helps me sleep. I’m a chronic insomniac.
Anyway I can tell it seems to be getting heated. Thanks for the opinions guys. I’ll work it out :smile:


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