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acca
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Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality 1
#27976513 - 10/01/22 11:32 AM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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I took a total of 9g of cubensis via lemon tek earlier today with intent of experiencing ego death. I hit level 5 and here's a quick summary of my experience.
Took around 800g Lion's Mane 40 minutes before drinking the tea.
Come up started 45min after drinking the tea. Cev started but wasn't as vivid as in my last trip which was 1 month ago (5g Jack Frost lemon tek). So I'm lying there wondering if there was something wrong with the mushroom quality or the music, the music I used this time was some classicals from the Johns Hopkins Psilocybin Research track. Not only were the colors weaker/more muted, the animation wasn't the same. Since the cev's weren't the point of my trip I just took note and didn't let it bother me much.
Roughly 2h20m after drinking the tea I peaked experiencing full on ego dissolution. I spent most of the time either lying down or sitting up but with my eyes mostly closed. I saw tracers vibrating and moving around and they were like the matrix. Like I was seeing through the foundation of reality. For some reason I though ego dissolution would feel like dying... (this was of some concern since I was tripping alone without a sitter) from some of the trip reports I've read. So it was very surprising that I never felt dead or thought I was dead. It was like having one foot anchored in real life and the other dipping in to... the after life? Not sure what to call it. I could still feel my body and could control it, but in my mind, things were disappearing. For example, when I open my eyes I can see my legs but when I close my eyes it's gone. Not gone because I can't see it. But in my head it just felt like empty space where it should be. Same with random objects. It's like seeing through it not in an xray vision kind of way, but like in the matrix kind of way. It's like instead of seeing the game, you're seeing the code of the game.
The entire time my body was either swaying and/or vibrating, but it never felt painful or anything alarming. It just felt like I was plugged in to the primordial consciousness. Like I was vibrating with the universe. Each time I'd think a thought, my body would vibrate slightly differently. The feeling was like as if my physical body was trying on the thought I was thinking - just like how you'd try on different clothes.
In that headspace it felt like I could vibrate to a new reality. If I wanted to change my life path or change some health issue, it felt like I could just vibrate to the new potential I wanted. I realized the value of being in that headspace. It gives you a way to recalibrate and update your software. You are stuck with what you chose for yourself before birth but if you can see through the maya and access the matrix then you can make changes. Obviously you can't overhaul completely like you've already lived a chunk of your life so it's not like you can undo the past or suddenly grow wings and a tail etc. But you can choose a different plot to your life story and heal or correct health issues. I know this is possible and that many have done it, just not sure if you need more trips to make it happen or if one is enough. Also I have heard of some people who have had temporary cures but then as they go back to real life, they forget and just revert back to the old programming so the attempted changes were only temporary.
There was a realization that I just a small part of a greater consciousness. The image I got was this vast consciousness pouring a bit of itself into a tshirt and forming a human. And that it's done this many many many times just over and over. Afterwards while reflecting on the experience, I realized there's a sort of irony here. For us, people sometimes say there is suffering in duality and freedom can only be obtained when you realize/experience oneness. But from the mass consciousness' POV, the chance it's giving us to experience duality is freedom. A freedom to think for ourselves and do what we want - which we can't do when we go back and merge with mass consciousness. In most eastern religions they always talk about how bad duality is and how it causes suffering bondage blah blah blah, being separate instead of being one with everything but in western religions like christianity or catholicism, don't they say angels envy humans because we have freedom to do what we want and they do not? At least that's what I was told when I was a kid lol.
The life story I chose for myself was just out of curiosity. I'm just here to experience what it's like to be this person with this kind of life and limitations. I was thinking, why did I choose a shitty boring life with a vessel that can't even swim??? And there was a realization that I was a viking in a recent past life who was actually a good swimmer so I thought to try being the opposite in this life. There was a realization that all limitations are basically self-imposed. There's no need to take life too seriously because everyone chose the life they are living. I know this is hard to believe but I swear while I was in that head space it all made sense. That's another thing I noticed, when I have my eyes closed and was in that head space, it was easier to understand these concepts, but I'd open my eyes every once in a while to look at the time or just compare real life to the matrix and every time my eyes would focus on real life, it felt hard to grasp or understand the realization. Has anyone experienced this or know why that happens?
I didn't experience a detailed screenplay of past lives, just that one bit but I also had another realization when I was wondering why people's memory deteriorate as we age. And I realized that we start to forget because if not, we're gonna start remembering past lives. So it was either alzheimer's or dementia, like the brain as it ages can't do as much as a young brain so it's either or. But then I thought how come some people can hold it together even in their 90s. It was a throw of the die, a risk you can choose before being born, but results can go either way. Not sure if this is based on science but it made sense when I was tripping lol.
I also experienced time dilation. I'd feel like I was in that headspace for 30min or even an hour but when I check only 10min or 20min have passed. The time dilation is really weird because you realize that in that headspace there is no time.
4.5 hrs after drinking the tea I realize that this is as far as the mushroom could take me. The rest I'll have to do on my own. Fuck knows how I'll ever find my way back there via meditation - the main reason I tried shrooms was because I couldn't get there via meditation. But at least I have this one experience to remember.
That's basically it, the rest were too personal. Overall it was a valuable experience and surprisingly not scary at all, no idea why so many people call it a bad trip. I was conscious the whole time and was aware of the "headspace" vs real life at the same time. But then maybe I didn't feel death because I didn't experience the void... hmm... No idea, I know everyone's experience is different and even if we had the same experience, different people will have different interpretations and reactions to it.
Anyone of you guys experience the void/nothingness? I think I experienced the opposite. Instead of seeing nothing, I saw everything that is invisible to the naked eye.
Edited by acca (10/02/22 08:14 AM)
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redgreenvines
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: acca]
#27977521 - 10/02/22 05:41 AM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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I loved the way you phrased this Quote:
Like I was vibrating with the universe. Each time I'd think a thought, my body would vibrate slightly differently. The feeling was like as if my physical body was trying on the thought I was thinking - just like how you'd try on different clothes.
also this is classic Quote:
I also experienced time dilation. I'd feel like I was in that headspace for 30min or even an hour but when I check only 10min or 20min have passed. The time dilation is really weird because you realize that in that headspace there is no time.
When I was younger I wanted to match these experiences up with "ancient mystical theories", however now, I think you touched upon the two most important aspects of psychedelic experience right here in these 2 quotes.
Stay humble and curious, and keep trying on the world's vibrations like clothing.
thanks for the report.
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wolfman42
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: acca]
#27977631 - 10/02/22 08:01 AM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Beautiful report. Yes duality is the choice consciousness makes. From its perspective it is choosing Maya from a place of absolute freedom. Maya / duality is what it chooses from its freedom. That is what it wants so in that sense you are absolutely right, Maya is what it is choosing for itself and to experience Maya as only it can through a contraction of itself into a body mind. Without this contraction it could not otherwise experience Maya this way. So you are right, it is a choice that Consciousness makes and from that perspective Maya and duality are not a problem but a way for it to experience itself from a limited perspective.
The vibrations, the feeling of waviness in the body. I also felt this on the level 5. It was very euphoric and yes it did feel connected to a primordial state. As if I remembered the moment of conception in the womb. This felt like the essence of me. It felt like home. Like where I have always been and where I am now. It was me - minus the body - minus the mind. I was able to discern what was truly me and what wasnt me. It was here that I discovered my essence in the absence of a body.
Some will take such an experience and conclude it was produced by the body brain. They have no evidence that Consciousness is limited to a body or that it is produced by the body. They believe that consciousness somehow magically emanates from matter and has evolved out of matter, even though they have never interacted with matter other than through experience or knowing. Knowing of matter is the only thing they have ever experienced. They have never actually interacted with something ‘external’ called matter. Like a pilot flying a plane using the dashboard sensors sees the world external to the plane only through the dashboard sensors. The pilot does not interact with the outside weather directly. And the dashboard sensors only paint a very narrow view of reality outside. They are limited like our five senses.
This is a good use of tripping. It is like an experiment we can conduct on the nature of ourselves and reality. Some will walk away and it will only reinforce the most common narrative that we are products of our bodies and of space time. Others will walk away with a completely different take. Psychedelics can point us to the types of consciousness expanding experiments the ancients were running. To assume that we somehow know better about consciousness because of science is a leap of faith. I would say today’s scientists could even be looked at as religious. They have no evidence that consciousness arises from matter yet that is the presupposition for all of their modern theories.
You cannot open a human brain and find where a memory is stored, nor can you find out how the brain is supposedly generating consciousness - yet most will say that it is self evident and make that assumption anyway as if they have already solved the hard problem of consciousness. That they know with certainty that consciousness is produced by the brain.
It is only necessary to remain open to the possibility that consciousness is primary and prior to matter, prior to the body because that is our experience and to remain open can help one transcend the self imposed limitations.
No one has ever experienced matter existing independently of consciousness.
We do not have to get mystical or spiritual to show that the hard problem of consciousness is not solved by science.
Thanks for the report
Edited by wolfman42 (10/02/22 08:04 AM)
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acca
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: acca]
#27977658 - 10/02/22 08:29 AM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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@redgreenvines I think the Tibetan Book of the Dead and Vedic philosophy pretty much cover the ego death experience in detail.
@wolfman42
1. I did not feel a lot of emotions during the trip. There was a short moment I felt oneness but that lasted maybe a minute? I didn't feel euphoria or love.... any ideas why? I do read other people feeling those things on their trips.
2. Do you think I didn't experience the void coz I only experienced level 4 and not 5? Guess I should've just done 10-11g instead of half-assing it:/
3. Are you able to reach this ego dissolution state via meditation?
Edited by acca (10/02/22 08:53 AM)
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wolfman42
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: acca]
#27978043 - 10/02/22 01:19 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
acca said: @redgreenvines I think the Tibetan Book of the Dead and Vedic philosophy pretty much cover the ego death experience in detail.
@wolfman42
1. I did not feel a lot of emotions during the trip. There was a short moment I felt oneness but that lasted maybe a minute? I didn't feel euphoria or love.... any ideas why? I do read other people feeling those things on their trips.
2. Do you think I didn't experience the void coz I only experienced level 4 and not 5? Guess I should've just done 10-11g instead of half-assing it:/
3. Are you able to reach this ego dissolution state via meditation?
I use the words awareness or consciousness a lot. But they are just pointers to what you are. It is you. The impersonal you, the one without a story and beyond Maya. The one who understands these words as it reads them.
1. I wouldn't read into the details of your experience during the trip. But most likely you were at a threshold dose of ego death. So not all the way.
2. The void itself is perceived so we are still in duality. There is a final step beyond the void where we merge into oneness. From personal opinion - yes it sounds like a level 4 experience. In my experience at 30-45 minutes you would be unconscious, floored, and unable to move or barely able to move. It sounds like some ego dissolution. Consciousness was expanded. It is not necessarily a difficult or death like experience but in many cases it will feel like that as your usual sense of self dissolves.
3. Yes. Specifically Tantric meditation where one goes into the objects or bodily sensations to merge into oneness or the awareness that supports them - is what they are made of. But it is not the same kind of experience as a level 5 trip. It depends on how you approach the awareness. Sometimes we have a rough landing in the airplane and sometimes the landing is smooth and very gradual.
It is not as bright during my meditations. Perhaps you could say through meditation and attention to awareness I can see some of the sun and feel its warmth but during the Trip the sun was fully exposed and blinding. One can enter from sleep or from dreams much more easily than the waking state. There too the experience will be very bright. Like staring at the sun. The silence will be deafening.
It will be a very gradual process for most. Even in the case of Ramana it took many years before he became established in the truth that was exposed during his near death experience at 17.
I become much closer to it in the presence of a teacher. Or I should say the teacher exposes it in a way that is much harder to ignore.
In general the experience of awareness is very ordinary - feels like home and closer to us than our breath - it is us - but most people will go their entire lives without paying any attention to it. It is the portal into the infinite. Here-ness, now-ness, awar-ing. That is the portal. That is what we are. "I Am That" by Nisargadatta Maharaj puts it succinctly in the title of his book.
Edited by wolfman42 (10/02/22 02:36 PM)
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acca
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: wolfman42]
#27978077 - 10/02/22 01:49 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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thank you. i really hate that i need to take really high doses just to reach level 5, shrooms aren't cheap lol. maybe will try again next year, or maybe this is enough. i don't know which teacher can affect me just from his presence, do you have any recommendations? all the teachers i'm learning from are dead lol.
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wolfman42
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: acca]
#27978082 - 10/02/22 01:57 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Yes Rupert has several retreats each year. Some in the UK and some in the US. Just google him and youll find the links to sign up for his retreats.
And no need to seek it through the Mushrooms. Once you get the message you can hang up the phone. Too many psychedelic experiences will take you away from it anyway. It is not a matter of more or deeper. I would keep these intense experiences to a minimum.
For Mushrooms the only kind that got me there were PE in some well made lemon tea I had boiled with the ground up mush material. I drank the tea quickly to get a significant build up of actives in my system. But again no need to seek it this way and too much can be counter productive. I've since stopped taking Mushrooms except for the occasional microdose.
Edited by wolfman42 (10/02/22 02:16 PM)
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acca
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: acca]
#27978123 - 10/02/22 02:30 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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gotcha! thank you!
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redgreenvines
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: acca]
#27978394 - 10/02/22 05:29 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
acca said: @redgreenvines I think the Tibetan Book of the Dead and Vedic philosophy pretty much cover the ego death experience in detail....
I have read the Evans Wenz translation of the Tibetan Book of the Dead and scholarly interpretation of it, which ties it to the cultural and social evolution of the region - it did not resonate, but the beatniks pushed it, to be cool you know - The dalai Lama is pretty cool, but the book of the dead not so much. I preferred the even more excitingly fanciful Tibetan Yoga and Secret Doctrines as well. I believe you have to be raised in that culture to really have trips that coincide well with that mythology. We may try to map our visions onto that beatnik fantasy, but really we have to look at ourselves and our personal culture and personal history to find meaning that is relevant to the experience. When you do see something that rings true it rings like a gong.
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acca
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: redgreenvines]
#27978567 - 10/02/22 07:23 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Have you read The Psychedelic Experience: A Manual Based on The Tibetan Book On The Dead? by Timothy Leary, Ralph Metzner, and Richard Alpert (Ram Dass). It pretty much explains the ego death experience from psychedelics in terms of the Tibetan Book of the Dead. It's really short though, if you want more details you'd have to read about the Turiya state, that's what it's called. I've uploaded 2 vids here one from Raja Choudhury talking about Turiya based on Kashmir Shaivism and Joe Dispenza (11.5min mark onwards) and his interpretation and explanation of the ego dissolution experience - not sure how pure that is but it's generally easier to digest than the former I guess. https://we.tl/t-MNXNodbFZx
In general you can find many teachers who explain it either from Indian or Tibetan or even Western POV.
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redgreenvines
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: acca]
#27979057 - 10/03/22 06:41 AM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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As a people we were grasping at straws to understand 3000 years ago, 60 years ago, and we are still grasping at straws.
IMO, when you look within, work with what you are familiar, and if things are not as you were led to believe, do not simply adopt the straws that yours or other cultures have grasped at. you will understand what you are ready to understand, and may or may not be able to meaningfully share your private personal integration.
this keeps it fresh, immediate, real, personal, in the moment, and does not rely on external 'verification' to process the experience.
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wolfman42
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: redgreenvines]
#27979152 - 10/03/22 08:12 AM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: As a people we were grasping at straws to understand 3000 years ago, 60 years ago, and we are still grasping at straws.
IMO, when you look within, work with what you are familiar, and if things are not as you were led to believe, do not simply adopt the straws that yours or other cultures have grasped at. you will understand what you are ready to understand, and may or may not be able to meaningfully share your private personal integration.
this keeps it fresh, immediate, real, personal, in the moment, and does not rely on external 'verification' to process the experience.
That is your assumption - that they were grasping at straws. To assume the ancients didn't have a clue is a religious statement. It is the same truth now as it was thousands of years ago.
It comes down to your belief to be a separate entity. You believe consciousness is produced by the body. You think of yourself as separate. This is the perspective of a materialist. You take yourself to be a limited separate entity even though you have no evidence to support this claim, only the latest theories. You cannot prove it. Hence yours is a religious belief. Nothing wrong with being a materialist as most humans are but at least we can be honest about it. Even many religious types tend to be materialists. It is the most commonly held view.
Edited by wolfman42 (10/03/22 12:29 PM)
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acca
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: wolfman42]
#27979481 - 10/03/22 12:34 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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@wolfman42 - when you have the time, would you mind watching that joe dispenza rewired video i uploaded on wetransfer (link). i wanna know your opinion if his explanation of the ego dissolution experience is accurate or embellished.
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wolfman42
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: acca]
#27979582 - 10/03/22 01:34 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
acca said: @wolfman42 - when you have the time, would you mind watching that joe dispenza rewired video i uploaded on wetransfer (link). i wanna know your opinion if his explanation of the ego dissolution experience is accurate or embellished.
I have heard of Dr Dispenza before. There is a lot of truth in what he is saying especially towards the beginning. My only reservation would be that he goes very far into the biology of it. His interpretations of vision in the brain, frequencies and energy fields introduce concepts that are unnecessary and may lead to some confusion. There are a lot of unexplained jumps in some of his reasoning when discussing these concepts. It is clear he has some non dual understanding. It is also clear he is very aware. I would not say necessarily that he has it. I would not look to him as a teacher like Rupert or Ramana but his talks provide a lot of food for thought and are very interesting. He is clearly trying to bring a non dual understanding into a modern framework. I appreciate his efforts in this field as most scientists simply ignore it.
He is ultimately correct in that it has the means to fulfill any wish or any desire it has. It is creating all of it out of nothing. Dispenza however talks about improving health or financial outcomes and this can easily become a trap.
To be in love with the truth itself despite all other personal desires is the real path to happiness. For Ramana it is the man who wants nothing or needs of nothing. For Rupert it would be - to be in love with the truth. That is why they say no effort or effortless. Because if it's something you love then it becomes effortless. I think it is more important to be in love with truth for its own sake.
So it may be wise to be careful with people like Dispenza because the truth is very simple and it can only be arrived at experientially, through experience. The intellectual understanding is by comparison unnecessary and can never be complete anyway. And the motivation behind this quest is the pursuit of happiness. And we get that when we fall in love with the truth. It may take some time to establish. But it is an irreversible process.
Edited by wolfman42 (10/03/22 01:36 PM)
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acca
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: wolfman42]
#27979725 - 10/03/22 03:40 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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thank you so much! yeah i think dispenza's angle is using the experience to heal and manifest and that's what draws him students - he is making a lot of money out of his 'work' and self-realization/enlightenment is not very marketable lol. thank you so much for your insight!
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Ferdinando


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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: acca]
#27982323 - 10/05/22 06:51 AM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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that was a really cool report keep tripping as much as you want thanks so much maybe try dmt you can extract it with a pressure cooker search stb tek it can be smoked its really awesome that way glorious i love shrooms i hope you do too it is a great opportunity when human
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Neurotech
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: Ferdinando]
#27983008 - 10/05/22 03:30 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Ego death is not dose dependent. Yes, there is a correlation, but in the right meditative state, 2 gms can take you as far as 5.
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acca
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: Neurotech]
#27983893 - 10/06/22 12:10 AM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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in the "right meditative state" you don't even need drugs to experience ego death -> ramana maharishi.
but the whole reason i turned to drugs is because i've already tried the meditative route and couldn't get there. at a certain point when the dose is high enough to break a person's specific tolerance (everyone is different), i believe the drug is capable of bringing a person to the finish line - whether they want to or not and that was what i was hoping for. there are a lot of people who don't meditate and accidentally reached ego death anyway from tripping, it's all on their trip reports - usually labelled as "bad trips" or some traumatic experience. obviously those people did not intend it nor were prepared for it, but it happened anyway.
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Syntex
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Re: Took 8g Jack Frost +1g Golden Teacher and broke reality [Re: acca]
#27984038 - 10/06/22 05:18 AM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Man such a good trip report. A+! That was honestly dope especially being a big fan of the matrix
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