Posting here because too embarrassed to post in ODD. Long story short I've had a repeating habit where I get cocaine and then masturbate to pornography for hours, often multiple times per night. Recently I went on a fairly big coke binge after a week. In truth, I didn't do a ton of cocaine, we're talking about 1.3 grams of very pure stuff over the course 3-4 days and then another .5-1.0 gram of less pure normal stuff over the course of a night.
Each night I did blow I'd watch porn and jerk off for hours. After doing it 2 nights in a row (Thursday and Friday) I stopped and went to work on saturday, also went to work on sunday. Still had like .3 left over and wanted to get rid of it, so I did that Monday night after work. So I did that tuesday night and drank and literally jacked off for like 12 hours straight. That would've been a good point to stop, but I actually didn't finish and had to go to work so I went to work (should've called in) but texted someone and managed to get another bag of blow. Did a line when I got it but that was it. Actually slept after work.
Then I went to work Wednesday night. And after work I did more and jacked off. Then I slept most of Thursday. I was originally going to drive home (3 hours) on Friday and go to a party saturday. But I figured I could do a little more blow Thursday night. This was a mistake. I did the same thing, snorted blow and jacked off the porn for like 12 hours. By the end of my ordeal, it was hard to maintain an erection, I could get hard, but if I didn't finish it would go away, and it took a while to get hard again. I just attributed this to the coke-dick which if I do a lot can certainly happen. Anyway I managed to get hard again more or less and finished. This was friday morning.
Needless to say I felt like shit and didn't drive back as I had planned and I missed my friend's party. I didn't have to work til Sunday. Anyway, I tried to jack off (without porn) saturday night and couldn't get 100% hard. Tried to same after work sunday/monday morning and same thing, although it seemed a little better/more stiff.
I slept for a while and even had a dream that I had a boner, but when I woke up I was only at like 50% mast. I've decided I'm not going to "test" my erection ability for a while. In the past when I've gone on a binge like this, it sometimes takes over a week or two until I regularly wake up with morning wood again. That being said, I can usually probably get hard from watching porn or something, although at that point I usually don't bother because I get busy with life and stuff.
Point being I'm freaked out, and wondering if anyone on the board has dealt with something similar either from coke or amps and can offer advice. I posted on a thread on another forum last night, and someone said this happened to them but they were fine within a couple of weeks. I'm just freaking out so bad right now, if I permanently fucked up my dick with drugs idk what I'll do
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thanks, I hope and pray you're right. I'm gonna try not to even think about my dick for a couple weeks. I'll try to remember to update this in the future when things go back to normal. But if you never see me reply again, that might mean everything is good and I forgot to update
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Anonymous #3 said: I would say the biggest thing you should be concerned with is to not make a habit out of masterbating to porn ( whether you're high or not).
Reason being is that most times the porn that we watch to get our fap on is usually not realistic scenarios for our own personal sexual encounters and watching too much or too often can possibly lead to unrealistic expectations of our real life sex partners which in turn can lead to abnormalities and functional difficulties when attempting to engage in sexual activity with others.
Of course you must do you however you think will benefit you the best. Nothing wrong with having sex with yourself as often as you want but like most things, at some point it is usually is more fun when you share.
Oh I'm well aware of this. I've been around a while. I'm 30 years old. I know that porn itself is not beneficial. I've gone long periods of abstinence from both porn and masturbating, upwards of 6 months at times.
It's just life has sucked lately, and I've been engaging in bad habits. I know what I did is bad for me, but porn and jacking off is one thing, the drug use is an added variable imo. Either way, this is not something I'm going to continue doing much longer
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