Home | Community | Message Board


Original Seeds Store - Cannabis Seeds
Please support our sponsors.

General Interest >> Political Discussion

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1
InvisibleDoctorJ
Stranger
 Arcade Champion: Frogger

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,451
Loc: space
The Libertarians
    #2795551 - 06/15/04 05:16 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Here's a few dialogues I've been working on, a critique of libertarianism if you will. Hopefully some of you will find these entertaining. I'm sure I'll catch a lot of flack for this, but my friends think these are hilarious and I wanted to share them.


The Libertarians
by J. Smith

Father: Well, son, it looks like its time for you to go out into the real world. I can't provide for you any longer.
Son: But Dad, I'm only 6 years old!
Father: That sounds like a personal problem to me. Your problems are not my responsibility. You will have to survive on your own merit.
Son: But Dad, I don't even know how to read! You wouldn't even let me attend public school!
Father: Public schools are for Communists, son.

********************

Son: Gee, Dad it sure is too bad that the judge court ordered you to take care of me until I'm 18.
Father: Its a travesty of justice that the judge won't let me do what I want to with the fruits of my own labor- ie: you.
Son: well, I guess you will have to abide by their decision. It is the law, after all.
Father: We'll see about that, son.
Son: Hey, Dad, where are you going with that AK47 and a map to the judge's house?
Father: The second amendment is a viable check to the government's power, son.

********************

Son: What are you doing with that bucket of oil, Dad?
Father: Why, I'm setting it on fire, son.
Son: Isn't that kind of a waste?
Father: It's my oil to waste, son. The fact that I'm burning this oil does not prevent some guy in Somalia from burning oil in his own garage.
Son: Dad, our house is on fire!
Father: It's my house to burn, son.

********************

Son: Dad, our house is on fire!! Don't you think we should call the fire department?
Father: That would be immoral, son. The fire department was established with public funds garnished from people's wages. Why should we make them pay for the fact that our house is on fire?
Son: So what do we do?
Father: We'll just have to put the fire out ourselves, son.
LATER........
Firefighter: Would you like some help putting out your house fire? We might still be able to save some of it.
Father: Get off the charred remains of my lawn, you Commie bastard.

*********************

Son: Why do we have to live in your car now, Dad? Didn't you have home insurance?
Father: The government is always trying to force me to insure things... my car, my house. What a ripoff! Its basically just a government enforced protection racket! Not only that, but our rates go up because of other people's stupidity! The whole thing smacks of the Red Menace to me.
Son: Well, if we're gonna live in your car, can we at least park it on the street?
Father: Public roads are for Communists, son.

*********************

Son: Dad, I fell off the swingset and I think I broke my leg! We need to get to the hospital!
Father: I'm afraid I don't have the money or health insurance to pay for a doctor, son.
Son: Can't we just go to the free clinic down the street?
Father: That would be immoral, son. Those clinics are paid for with money collected by force from hardworking people. Why should they have to pay for your mistakes? Nope, I'm afraid we'll have to fix this ourselves. My diagnosis: amputation.
Son: But I don't want to have my leg amputated!!!!
Father: Its the only way, son. Now bite down on this paint stick while I go get the chainsaw.

**********************

Son: If Communisim is so ineffective, then how come the Russians were the first people in space?
Father: They may have been the first, but we did it the right way: using capitalism.
Son: I don't understand, Dad. I thought that NASA was publicly funded.
Father: Come to think of it, you're right, son. We should set up our own space mission, libertarian style!
Son: How are we going to do that without the cooperation and funding of millions of people?
Father: We don't need all that, son. Just go sit on that keg of dynamite in the backyard. Liftoff will be in ten minutes.

************************

Son: Dad, can I ride the merry go round?
Father: No, you can't, son.
Son: But that kid is riding it!
Father: Well, he had a quarter and you don't.
Son: Why should he have the power to ride the merry go round just because he has a quarter and I don't?
Father: Money is not power, nor does it entail privlege. It just allows certain people to have and do things that others cannot.

*************************

Father: Here's your lunch money, son.
Son: This isn't money!! These are just carved wooden figurines of Michael Jackson!!
Father: Yeah, I spent a whole day's worth of human productive effort on those. They have to be worth something.
Son: But how will I use them to get food?
Father: See if you can trade them for food. But don't accept any cash, though. Federal Reserve notes are for Communists.

**************************

Son: Dad, you're always ruining my life. Maybe I should kill you in your sleep.
Father: That would be a violation of my natural rights, son.
Son: What the hell is a natural right?
Father: Natural rights are rights intrinsic to all people. Everyone is born with natural rights, such as the right to live. We call them 'natural' rights, because they come from nature.
Son: What the hell are you talking about? Our dog is always trying to kill our cat! Last week he bit off the cat's leg!
Father: That cat is a fascist, son. The dog is justified in wanting to eat it. Besides, why should it be the dog's problem that the cat can't run fast enough?

***************************

Son: I think I'm gonna go live with the neighbors. They aren't crazy libertarians like you, Dad.
Father: No. You cannot choose to live with them. They are fascists. You are not allowed to choose fascism. Thats how libertarianism works; its all based on mutual consent and freedom of choice.
Son: Screw you, I'm gonna live with them anyway.
Father: Fine, but their commie system is bound to collapse!! And if it doesn't, I will start a war with them to ensure that it does!


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineAncalagon
AgnosticLibertarian

Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 1,364
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Re: The Libertarians [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2795708 - 06/15/04 06:03 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Father: Well, son, it looks like its time for you to go out into the real world. I can't provide for you any longer.
Son: But Dad, I'm only 6 years old!
Father: That sounds like a personal problem to me. Your problems are not my responsibility. You will have to survive on your own merit.
Son: But Dad, I don't even know how to read! You wouldn't even let me attend public school!
Father: Public schools are for Communists, son.




Parents still have to provide for their children under a Libertarian-style government.

Quote:

Son: Gee, Dad it sure is too bad that the judge court ordered you to take care of me until I'm 18.
Father: Its a travesty of justice that the judge won't let me do what I want to with the fruits of my own labor- ie: you.
Son: well, I guess you will have to abide by their decision. It is the law, after all.
Father: We'll see about that, son.
Son: Hey, Dad, where are you going with that AK47 and a map to the judge's house?
Father: The second amendment is a viable check to the government's power, son.




The second amendment is for the defense of yourself and/or your property. Initiating force against a judge because you disagree with him is not at all valid.

Quote:

Son: What are you doing with that bucket of oil, Dad?
Father: Why, I'm setting it on fire, son.
Son: Isn't that kind of a waste?
Father: It's my oil to waste, son. The fact that I'm burning this oil does not prevent some guy in Somalia from burning oil in his own garage.
Son: Dad, our house is on fire!
Father: It's my house to burn, son.




What's wrong with this exactly? So long as the fire is confined to his property, the father is well within his rights to destroy it.

Quote:

Son: Dad, our house is on fire!! Don't you think we should call the fire department?
Father: That would be immoral, son. The fire department was established with public funds garnished from people's wages. Why should we make them pay for the fact that our house is on fire?
Son: So what do we do?
Father: We'll just have to put the fire out ourselves, son.
LATER........
Firefighter: Would you like some help putting out your house fire? We might still be able to save some of it.
Father: Get off the charred remains of my lawn, you Commie bastard.




I personally have no problem with LOCALLY funded fire departments(volunteer departments would be ideal).

Quote:

Son: Why do we have to live in your car now, Dad? Didn't you have home insurance?
Father: The government is always trying to force me to insure things... my car, my house. What a ripoff! Its basically just a government enforced protection racket! Not only that, but our rates go up because of other people's stupidity! The whole thing smacks of the Red Menace to me.
Son: Well, if we're gonna live in your car, can we at least park it on the street?
Father: Public roads are for Communists, son.




I don't see how private roads would work. Public roads, so long as eminent domain is not invoked, are perfectly acceptable to me.

Quote:

Son: Dad, I fell off the swingset and I think I broke my leg! We need to get to the hospital!
Father: I'm afraid I don't have the money or health insurance to pay for a doctor, son.
Son: Can't we just go to the free clinic down the street?
Father: That would be immoral, son. Those clinics are paid for with money collected by force from hardworking people. Why should they have to pay for your mistakes? Nope, I'm afraid we'll have to fix this ourselves. My diagnosis: amputation.
Son: But I don't want to have my leg amputated!!!!
Father: Its the only way, son. Now bite down on this paint stick while I go get the chainsaw.




This son needs to put his waste of life dad out of his misery.

Quote:

Son: If Communisim is so ineffective, then how come the Russians were the first people in space?
Father: They may have been the first, but we did it the right way: using capitalism.
Son: I don't understand, Dad. I thought that NASA was publicly funded.
Father: Come to think of it, you're right, son. We should set up our own space mission, libertarian style!
Son: How are we going to do that without the cooperation and funding of millions of people?
Father: We don't need all that, son. Just go sit on that keg of dynamite in the backyard. Liftoff will be in ten minutes.




WHAT?? The Soviet's put a man in space first?? SIGN ME UP!! Forget about how the population in that country is living...If they can put a man in space(funded by guess who?) then that system MUST be ideal.

Quote:

Son: Dad, can I ride the merry go round?
Father: No, you can't, son.
Son: But that kid is riding it!
Father: Well, he had a quarter and you don't.
Son: Why should he have the power to ride the merry go round just because he has a quarter and I don't?
Father: Money is not power, nor does it entail privlege. It just allows certain people to have and do things that others cannot.




Uh, what exactly are you saying here? Anybody who wants something they can't acquire legitimately is nevertheless entitled to it?

Quote:

Father: Here's your lunch money, son.
Son: This isn't money!! These are just carved wooden figurines of Michael Jackson!!
Father: Yeah, I spent a whole day's worth of human productive effort on those. They have to be worth something.
Son: But how will I use them to get food?
Father: See if you can trade them for food. But don't accept any cash, though. Federal Reserve notes are for Communists.



Er, you started out strong...what the hell are you proving with this one?

Definite comedy though...unfortunately in more ways than one.


--------------------
?When Alexander the Great visted the philosopher Diogenes and asked whether he could do anything for him, Diogenes is said to have replied: 'Yes, stand a little less between me and the sun.' It is what every citizen is entitled to ask of his government.?
-Henry Hazlitt in 'Economics in One Lesson'


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibleluvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,208
Loc: Lost In Space
Re: The Libertarians [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2795735 - 06/15/04 06:12 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

While semi-amusing.... I'm going to suggest you stop holding your breath. Each post lately seems to grow ever weaker.


--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibleluvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,208
Loc: Lost In Space
Re: The Libertarians [Re: Ancalagon]
    #2795740 - 06/15/04 06:13 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Nice rebuttal to an amazingly lame post.


--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineGazzBut
Refraction

Registered: 10/15/02
Posts: 4,770
Loc: London UK
Last seen: 7 days, 16 hours
Re: The Libertarians [Re: luvdemshrooms]
    #2795762 - 06/15/04 06:18 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

It shows more imagination and thought than anything Ive seen you come up with. Your posts simply tend to focus on criticising others. Just my 2 cents.


--------------------
Always Smi2le


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibleluvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,208
Loc: Lost In Space
Re: The Libertarians [Re: GazzBut]
    #2795804 - 06/15/04 06:35 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Must be two canadians cents, which as everyone knows.... are basically worthless.


--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflinePhred
Fred's son
Male

Registered: 10/19/00
Posts: 12,949
Loc: Dominican Republic
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: The Libertarians [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2795872 - 06/15/04 06:55 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Father: Here's your lunch money, son.
Son: This isn't money!! These are just carved wooden figurines of Michael Jackson!!
Father: Yeah, I spent a whole day's worth of human productive effort on those. They have to be worth something.
Son: But how will I use them to get food?
Father: See if you can trade them for food. But don't accept any cash, though. Federal Reserve notes are for Communists.




This is an illustration of a tenet of Marxist thought, not of Libertarian thought. Libertarians realize that a thing is worth what someone is willing to exchange it for, no more, no less. Marxists are the ones who believe that because something required eight hours of effort to produce it is twice as valuable as something which took four hours to produce.

I was going to critique the whole post but Ancalagon beat me to it.

Try again.

pinky


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole

Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
Re: The Libertarians [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2796007 - 06/15/04 07:57 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

This is horrible. No Libertarian should ever be entrusted with the care of children. I think you're absolutely right and any parent who would teach his child independence of thought or deed should have said child confiscated. The slightest indication that someone believes in any way that they might know what is best for themselves should be reported to the authorities. I'm going to start watching my neighbors much more closely now. In fact, I think it is quite clear from this that all children should be taken from their parents at birth and raised by an all knowing and benevolent state in a dormitory. Clearly individuals should not be trusted with the care of something so precious as our (the Nation-collective's) children.
Will you, Oh Great Dr J please raise my children for me as you surely know best.


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibleluvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,208
Loc: Lost In Space
Re: The Libertarians [Re: zappaisgod]
    #2796024 - 06/15/04 08:06 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Will you, Oh Great Dr J please raise my children for me as you surely know best. 



He can't. After all, it takes a village.

:rotfl:


--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleXlea321
Stranger
Registered: 02/26/01
Posts: 9,134
Re: The Libertarians [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2797298 - 06/16/04 01:41 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

:laugh:

Nice work Doc.


--------------------
Don't worry, B. Caapi


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineAncalagon
AgnosticLibertarian

Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 1,364
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Re: The Libertarians [Re: Xlea321]
    #2797965 - 06/16/04 06:24 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

You're doing a terrific cheerleading job Alex


--------------------
?When Alexander the Great visted the philosopher Diogenes and asked whether he could do anything for him, Diogenes is said to have replied: 'Yes, stand a little less between me and the sun.' It is what every citizen is entitled to ask of his government.?
-Henry Hazlitt in 'Economics in One Lesson'


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleInnvertigo
Vote Libertarian!!
Male

Registered: 02/09/01
Posts: 16,296
Loc: Crackerville, Michigan U...
Re: The Libertarians [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2798093 - 06/16/04 08:12 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I was going to respond but all I could come up with is: This makes no sense whatsoever.

Dr. J. Do you even know what a Libertarian is?


--------------------

America....FUCK YEAH!!!

Words of Wisdom: Individual Rights BEFORE Collective Rights

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." -- Thomas Jefferson


Edited by Innvertigo (06/16/04 08:31 AM)


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineRedo
CTA

Registered: 04/13/04
Posts: 1,296
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
Re: The Libertarians [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2798337 - 06/16/04 10:24 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Any realistic examples Dr J?


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineGazzBut
Refraction

Registered: 10/15/02
Posts: 4,770
Loc: London UK
Last seen: 7 days, 16 hours
Re: The Libertarians [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2798477 - 06/16/04 11:22 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

It seems we have established that no sense of humour is required to be a libertarian!


--------------------
Always Smi2le


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleInnvertigo
Vote Libertarian!!
Male

Registered: 02/09/01
Posts: 16,296
Loc: Crackerville, Michigan U...
Re: The Libertarians [Re: GazzBut]
    #2798485 - 06/16/04 11:25 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

i'm sure that's what it is.


--------------------

America....FUCK YEAH!!!

Words of Wisdom: Individual Rights BEFORE Collective Rights

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." -- Thomas Jefferson


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineAncalagon
AgnosticLibertarian

Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 1,364
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Re: The Libertarians [Re: GazzBut]
    #2798505 - 06/16/04 11:40 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

GazzBut said:
It seems we have established that no sense of humour is required to be a libertarian!



I did find them funny. But as I said, they were, unfortunately for DoctorJ, funny in more ways than one. If you find fallacys and misconceptions funny though, then the dialogues were a definite riot.


--------------------
?When Alexander the Great visted the philosopher Diogenes and asked whether he could do anything for him, Diogenes is said to have replied: 'Yes, stand a little less between me and the sun.' It is what every citizen is entitled to ask of his government.?
-Henry Hazlitt in 'Economics in One Lesson'


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleXlea321
Stranger
Registered: 02/26/01
Posts: 9,134
Re: The Libertarians [Re: GazzBut]
    #2798528 - 06/16/04 11:56 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

It seems we have established that no sense of humour is required to be a libertarian!  

:rockon:


--------------------
Don't worry, B. Caapi


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleDoctorJ
Stranger
 Arcade Champion: Frogger

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,451
Loc: space
Re: The Libertarians [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2798842 - 06/16/04 01:38 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Son: Its great that you've decided to hire a chauffer Dad, but why did you hire a blind man?
Father: I can hire whoever I want. Its my car and my money.
Son: But he doesn't even have a liscense to drive!!
Father: Liscense??? That sounds like a bunch of government red tape to me!
Son: But you can't expect him to drive safely!!! He's freakin blind!!
Father: Laws against blind people driving are discriminatory and selective. Your lack of support for equal rights disgusts me, son.


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleInnvertigo
Vote Libertarian!!
Male

Registered: 02/09/01
Posts: 16,296
Loc: Crackerville, Michigan U...
Re: The Libertarians [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2799014 - 06/16/04 02:29 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

It looks as though the son has just turned into a libbie.  Well done :handth:


--------------------

America....FUCK YEAH!!!

Words of Wisdom: Individual Rights BEFORE Collective Rights

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." -- Thomas Jefferson


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineAncalagon
AgnosticLibertarian

Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 1,364
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Re: The Libertarians [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2799028 - 06/16/04 02:31 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Maybe you should address the errors several of us brought up with the first batch before you pump some more out.

Or are these purely for comedic purpose? Please inform us if so, one less thread I have to check.


--------------------
?When Alexander the Great visted the philosopher Diogenes and asked whether he could do anything for him, Diogenes is said to have replied: 'Yes, stand a little less between me and the sun.' It is what every citizen is entitled to ask of his government.?
-Henry Hazlitt in 'Economics in One Lesson'


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Jump to top. Pages: 1

General Interest >> Political Discussion

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* The libertarian handbook Tao 1,102 9 09/27/04 07:44 PM
by Tao
* (True) Libertarians Battle the Corporate State Evolving 1,165 3 04/10/04 07:16 AM
by luvdemshrooms
* libertarianism
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 all )
domite
7,066 131 09/23/03 05:26 PM
by Autonomous
* Libertarianism BuzzDoctor 1,110 19 09/09/02 11:58 AM
by Innvertigo
* Why I'm not a libertarian
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 all )
DoctorJ 9,243 174 06/21/04 12:11 AM
by Papaver
* The Founding Fathers were Libertarians MistaUNGA 629 7 04/28/08 04:26 PM
by MushmanTheManic
* 34 Libertarian arguments debunked silversoul7 1,804 7 05/09/03 07:06 AM
by Phred
* A Libertarian's Message Phred 986 12 11/03/08 02:50 PM
by buckwheat

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Enlil
796 topic views. 2 members, 1 guests and 9 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Toggle Favorite | Print Topic | Stats ]
Search this thread:
FreeSpores.com
Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2017 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.05 seconds spending 0.007 seconds on 19 queries.